


My Virtual Adventures with Tom

by Notusingmyname



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Domestic Violence, F/M, Family, Fluff, Multiple Personalities, Romance, Self-Harm, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:28:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 112,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25421656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notusingmyname/pseuds/Notusingmyname
Summary: A diary style story on how I envisage a relationship with Tom Hiddleston being.  It's a complete work of fiction and meant to be fun so please treat it accordingly.  I do not own any of the images used in these stories and give full credit to all owners.I'll probably update every couple of days.EDIT:  This story started out as a "day in the life of Tom and I,"  it then moved onto me choosing a photo of Tom and writing a vignette each day and as time went on, it evolved further and was no longer based on the photo but more a continuing, serial type story (although I still try hard to get the photo to fit the chapter as much as possible) and has now become a huge part of my life. The early chapters aren't terribly good but, if you can get through them, I promise it gets better as time goes on.   Some photos don't show up, I've no idea why.
Relationships: Tom Hiddleston/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 72
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**24 hours with Tom Hiddleston**

Written by Sharon Lane and posted in the facebook group The Amazing Tom Hiddleston

This isn’t your typical fanfic so please don’t expect it to be. The idea of the story came to me one night when I was posting my last pic of the day in the group and it happened to be one of Tom laying down. One of the lovely ladies said goodnight and wished Tom and I a good night. The idea grew from there.

The story is a glimpse of a fictional day where I put myself in a relationship with the lovely Mr.H and runs from midnight to midnight. Don’t take it too seriously, it’s just meant to be a bit of fun.

I picked the photos then wrote the story around them.

PLEASE NOTE: I do not own any of the pictures used in this story.

He's just called out to me and told me to haul my butt into bed so I'll bid you all goodnight and we'll see you in the morning.

\-----

Good morning everyone. It's very cold here this morning so we've decided to stay in bed and snuggle for a while.

\-----

‘Much as I would love to stay and snuggle, the day awaits...and I need coffee. ‘Come on you gorgeous man, time to get up and go about our day.’ I told him as I rolled out of bed. ‘Mmmmm, no. Just let me stay here,’ he pleaded. ‘Nope, sorry babe.’ I said as I leaned over and kissed him, ‘Come on, let’s go. I’ll put coffee on, see you in the kitchen

\-----

'Darling put some music on,' he called out from the bedroom. Walking over to my phone, I scrolled through the music and found what I was looking for. He came into the kitchen, walked over to my phone and held it out to me. ‘This is your idea of breakfast music?’ he asked. Smiling, I nodded, ‘Sure is. Helps get me moving.’ I said as I started headbanging around the kitchen.

\-----

It's quite cool this morning (2°C or about 35°f) so he suggested a run to warm us up...fine for him but I've got a torn meniscus so it hurts. ‘Come on darling,’ he called out with a sly grin, ‘Keep up.’ ‘Yeah right, very funny.’ I sulked, ‘You know how much I miss running with you.’ ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘once you get your knee fixed you can join me again. Should I just walk with you?’ ‘No, you run, I know you love it. I’ll just walk for a bit.’

\-----

'Oh come on love, join me for a quick shower', he pleaded. 'Much as I would love to, I have a feeling it won't be very quick if I join you.' I answered. He smiled that lovely smile of his then I got this look as I went to back out of the room. 'Oh I don't think so' he said, 'I want you here. Now.' At the risk of breaking the internet I'll put the phone down now just in case I accidentally take a pic of what's below. See you soon....maybe.

\-----

As predicted by me, it wasn't a quick shower however, we're finally ready to start getting some errands done. He's just realised how cold it is out so is now telling me I need to get a coat and to hurry up as it's getting late. I've just reminded him it's his fault because of the shower. ‘Come on darling, get a wriggle on, it’s getting late,’ he said. ‘Well, if you had just let me get dressed instead of insisting I have a shower with you, we would have been ready and on our way but no, you had to have me in the shower.’ I answered. ‘...and on the sink, and in the bedroom.’ he smirked as I smacked his wandering hands. ‘Stop it,’ I giggled, ‘we’ll be late.’ Anyway, we're off. See you soon.

\-----

Yelling at me because I'm taking pics instead of sitting having brunch with him. He's so sweet. ‘Can you get yourself over here and join me? Why this incessant need to take photos of me darling? You’re a funny one.’ He said as he beckoned me over. ‘Show me.’ I showed him the photo and he chuckled, ‘oh that’s just delightful.’ ‘Well you shouldn’t yell at me when I’m trying to take photos,’ I said as I elbowed him in the ribs. ‘Point taken. Now, what do you want to eat?’

\-----

Babe, where'd you go?' I called out. He answered, 'I'm out the back love, just charging my phone. Did you need something?' 'Only you my love, always just you.' I said. 'Well you have me darling, always and forever.' He smiled

\-----

He wanted to know why I kept stopping to post things on Facebook so I told him... 'I'm giving everyone in my favourite group a run down of our day.' He looked a little quizzical, 'Why would you do that? I'm sure no one really cares what we do.' I laughed at him and assured him people are interested in him. 'So when did you start your little jottings darling?' 'Late last night when we went to bed.' I answered, 'and I've been posting what we've been doing.' 'All of it?' he asked. I nodded, 'yep, all of it.' 'Even the shower?' he questioned. 'Of course' I answered, 'I told you, all of it.' 'Oh God' he said covering his eyes and putting his head down.

I'll let him sweat for a bit then let him know I didn't give details

\-----

I took pity on him and told him I didn't spill details about the shower then I disappeared into another room. I heard him get the guitar out. He loses himself in the music when he plays, then I had a wicked thought. I've seen women doing the naked challenge with their significant other and some of the reactions have been hilarious. I thought to myself, 'why not give it a go?' So, I stripped off and went padding out to the living room stark naked....

\-----

So, it got a little steamy after my last post. If this were my fanfic I'd kiss and tell but as it's a group post I'll just leave this pic and leave it up to your imagination for the rest...

\-----

We managed to make it out the door again....just, which was a good thing as Tom was lucky enough to be invited to read from Shakespeare’s first folio, a 400 year old book, I don’t think the smile left his face the whole time he had it. We came back home and he continued reading from my Shakespeare book which is only a baby at 94 years old.

\-----

'Hey Tom?' 'Yes darling, what is it?' he asked. 'What was it like touching a book that's 400 years old?' I queried as I touched the hands that held the book. 'It felt wonderful, like I could almost hear the voices of those who held it before me.' he enthused, 'an unforgettable experience.' I looked at his boyish face so full of enthusiasm and couldn't help myself. I turned to him and uttered the words, 'Shakespeare sucks' then ran as fast as I could when I saw this look on his face. It took me a full 5 minutes to calm him down and reassure him that Shakespeare doesn't suck and, is indeed, the greatest playwright ever...or maybe Marlowe. He's still sulking a bit

\-----

He's still a little upset with me over my Shakespeare comment. 'But I was only joking.' I assured him. 'You shouldn't joke about that darling. You know how I feel about Shakespeare.' he sulked. I apologised as I hugged him, 'I'm sorry, you know I love his plays and you know I adore listening to you read his poetry to me. Forgive me?' He sighed deeply, 'darling of course I forgive you. I can't stay mad at you but please, don't say it again.' I assured him I wouldn't. 'I won't babe, I promise. Now, how about I buy you a coffee?'

\-----

“Tom, should we take the dogs for quick walk? We’re heading out to dinner tonight remember so a walk might tire them out a bit.’ ‘Bobby just heard you say the ‘W’ word darling, we have no choice now. Look how excited he is.’ “You’re such a softy when it comes to Bobby, just look at your face when you watch him.’ I told him. “Yes I know love but you’re exactly the same with your boy Paddy,’ he chuckled. Grabbing the leashes and, Tom with Bobby and me with Paddy, headed out for a quick walk. Back soon...

\-----

'Babe, have you seen my....' I stopped dead in my tracks...'laptop'. There he was, sitting at the table with my laptop, totally focused on what he was reading. Suddenly feeling very nervous I asked, 'um, what are reading babe?' He didn't answer. Thinking to myself, 'please, please, please, don't let him be reading my fanfic,' I approached the table and touched his shoulder. 'Babe?' I softly said as I looked at the screen. 'Oh no' I thought to myself. There, on the screen, was one of my fanfics about Loki. And, it was the darkest, most erotic one I'd written. He looked up, expressionless, 'Did you write this?' he asked. Nodding, swallowing nervously, I said, 'Yes. I'm sorry.' 'Why are you sorry?' he asked me. 'Because it paints Loki in a dark light and I know that upsets you.' I replied. He was silent then as his eyes raced across the screen finishing the story. 'Don't apologise darling. If you enjoy it, you should keep doing it. Have you written more?' Again, I nodded then showed him the files. He read them, then gave me a kiss and told me I should keep writing because he wants to read more.

\-----

'Darling, it's time to get ready.' he called out. 'Ok, won't be a minute.' I answered. I finished feeding Bobby and Paddy then put food out for the cats, Ruby and Jagger, and rinsed a couple of glasses on the sink. Looking at the time I headed into the bedroom to gather my clothes and get ready for a shower. As I entered the room this is the view that met me. Would you understand if I said I suddenly didn't want to go out?

\-----

'Busted Mr H. Get your fingers out of your mouth and stop stealing the food.' I laughed.

'But darling, I'm starving. Do you think they could hurry it up a bit?' he moaned.

'You'll be fine my love, you won't starve I promise.' I assured him.

He pulled me close, 'but I am starving darling, I'm starving for you. Let's just skip out, go home and order pizza. I want you all to myself.'

'Sounds like a plan. Let's go.'

Giggling like a couple of school kids, we made our escape and are currently headed back home.

\-----

He was very reserved on the way home and behaved like a perfect gentleman, so I got a huge shock when we'd no sooner got through the door, and he grabbed me, pinning me against the wall. To be continued....

\-----

He's gone for a shower while we wait for the pizza and I picked his phone up looking for a pic he'd taken earlier when we took the dogs for a walk and found this. Master of the selfie and donut lover.... I wonder if we've been missed at the dinner yet?

\-----

What are you thinking about my love?' I asked him, 'you're looking very pensive.' 'You have the most beautiful eyes darling,' he replied. 'They're breathtaking.' 'You're making me blush,' I responded as I leaned forward and rested my head under his chin. Wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close he whispered, 'I wish we could stay like this forever.' 'Mmmm, it would be lovely but all too soon you'll be called away again.' I murmured. 'Shhhh love, let's not think about it. I want to be selfish and think only of us for a while.'

\-----

Are you not so hangry now?' I asked him. 'Feeling better with a full stomach?' 'Definitely feeling better now.' he smiled looking up as I walked back into the room with a cup of tea and his beloved chocolate hobnobs. 'Babe, would you read to me. Please?' I asked as I snuggled up beside him on the couch. 'Of course darling. What should I read?' 'Anything really. You pick.' https://youtu.be/FRtG0h7gxsI

\-----

'Darling? Um, hello. Darling, can you hear me?' he called. I jumped when he touched my arm, 'sorry babe, what did you say?' 'What has you so engrossed?' he asked then laughed as he tapped my arm again trying to get my attention. 'Shhhh,' I scolded then giggled, 'I'm watching you go to war.' 'Darling, how many times have you watched this?' he asked. I shrugged, 'lost count now shhh.' He leaned over and kissed me then settled down to read as I focused my attention back on Henry V.

\-----

I paused The Hollow Crown to make a coffee and turned to see Tom on his knees, hands together in front of him.. Feeling slightly puzzled I looked at him and quietly asked, 'What are you praying for?' He smirked a little and quietly kept mumbling so I went to turn away. 'I'm praying that you'll see reason and come with me when I have to go back to work. I don't want to be separated from you.' I sighed, 'we've been over this.' He stood and walked over to me, ' I know we have. Let's not get into it tonight ok. I just want you with me.' I smiled and reached up, cupping his cheek with my hand, 'I know,' and kissing him lightly on the cheek said, 'I'm making coffee then watching the rest of Henry V. Do you want coffee?' 'No thanks love. I'll come sit with you soon though.'

\-----

Walking in he found me on the couch sobbing while the end credits for The Hollow Crown rolled on the TV. With a slightly bemused look on his face he came over to me and gathered me in his arms. 'Darling, why are you crying?' he asked gently as he wiped the tears from my eyes, 'you know what's coming yet everytime you watch it, this happens.' 'But you died,' I sobbed. Giving a quiet chuckle he shushed me, 'I'm here love, it's OK. I'll never understand why you put yourself through this.' he said as he held me. 'Because it's wonderful,' I sniffed through my tears.

\-----

I finished sobbing much to his relief. He said I'm not allowed to watch The Hollow Crown for a while because he hates seeing me upset but thinks it's funny too. That only serves to make me a bit snarly then he gets that sassy look, then I get sassy and well...i won't be watching for a while. He gave me this look and I bounced off the couch to the DVD collection. 'What are you doing?' he asked. 'Well clearly you can see what I'm doing. I'm getting a movie to watch.' 'What movie?' he questioned, 'no more movies that make you cry. I forbid it.' 'Oh you do, do you?' I replied, arms folded. 'Yes!' he growled. I laughed, 'Tom, your Loki's showing.' And I pulled out The Avengers at which point we both burst out laughing.

\-----

'Don't give me that look,' I said. 'It's your turn.' 'I swear I did it last time,' he replied. 'Nope, I did.' I assured him, 'your turn, off you go.' 'But, it's too cold,' he grumbled. 'Oh for goodness sake, stop being a princess,' I told him. 'It only takes 2 minutes.' Sighing deeply and wiggling his way forward on the couch, he slowly stood and stretched. 'Bobby, Paddy' he called, ‘come on, toilet time.’ And with that he disappeared with the 2 dogs running behind. 2 minutes later he was back and put his hands under my shirt. I squealed at how cold they were. 'Payback's a bitch,' he smirked.

\-----

'Please babe, just one more pic? I promise it's the last one for the night.' 'No darling. It's time to put the camera away and settle down for the night.' he told me. 'But I said I wanted to do a day in our lives. That's 24 hours, not 23.5.' I complained. 'You don't have to do anything, just sit there and let me take your pic.' 'And you promise this is the last one?' he asked. 'I promise it's the last one you have to sit for,' I said. 'But that's not what I agreed to,' he stated. 'Is this the last one?' I grinned, 'technically no because I want to get to 24 hrs but I promise it's the last one you need to sit for ok?' He considered it for a moment and, as I was about to take the pic, he closed his eyes and put his hands up. 'Still using it,' I laughed as he grabbed me.

\-----

'Come on love, time for bed.' he called out. 'I won't be a minute, just finishing up here.' I told him. 'No more pics now my love. It's time to put all that away and give yourself to me. 100% of yourself to me and in turn I give you 100% of me.' 'I'm just posting the last one babe. The 24 hours is up.' 'Tell them all I said goodnight.' he said 'I will. Now, open your book and get ready to read to me.' Heading into the bedroom I pushed the 'post' button, put my phone down on the bedside table, climbed into bed and lay with my head on his chest as he started to read to me.

And on that note, I bid you all a goodnight from my love and me.

The End.


	2. Mr H Calls and I'm not Drunk

**Mr H Calls**

"Hello darling? Where are you?" he asked.

"I'll just be a couple of minutes," I said. "Is something wrong? You sound a little frazzled."

"There's a group of women here love and they're telling me they loved the donut selfie. Should I know what they mean?"

I laughed at him. "It's the ladies in my favourite group. Remember I shared our day with them a couple of days ago?"

"Ohhhh, yes. So I've nothing to worry about?" he asked.

"No babe. They love you," I assured him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**I'M NOT DRUNK**

"You shouldn't have let me have that last scotch darling."

" Why's that?" I asked trying to keep a straight face.

"Because I don't want to have to answer questions while I'm a teensy bit light headed."

"You'll be fine," I assured him. "Besides, it won't be the first interview you've done tipsy."

After glaring at me he retorted, "I am not tipsy. Just a little light headed. It's getting hot  love, I need to loosen this tie and shirt."

"You can't, " I told him as I pulled his hand away. "You have to do the interview."

"I don't want to," he answered like a petulant child.

I couldn't help but laugh at him. "5 minutes and it's all done. Now leave the damn tie alone and get moving."

He put his head down for a second then went to grab the tie again.

"Uh  uh ," I said as I got the camera ready knowing full  well he was going to get snarky.

Looking up he saw the camera, pulled a face. " Really darling? Now?"

"Of course, you're funny when your drunk."

"Not drunk, light headed," he admonished.

"Drunk" I joked.

After yelling at me, he admitted he 'might be tipsy.'


	3. The Day After and D.I.Y Tom

# The day after...

"...good thing he's got a great sense of humour," I said to my sister who'd called to see if we knew Tom was trending after last night's interview. "OK, gotta go break the news to him," I laughed. "I'll let you know how it goes."

Ringing off, I was still chuckling to myself when I walked into the living room.

"Who were you talking to darling?" Tom asked.

"Nat." I answered.

"How is she?" he asked.

"Better than you my love," I answered. "How's your head?"

"Sore," he grumbled, "and I feel a bit seedy."

Giggling, I went to him and rubbed his temple, "I told you last night you were drunk but you assured me you were just light headed."

"Well....I may have...anyway, why are you laughing?"he asked.

"Well, you remember that interview you did last night?" I said.

"Vaguely," he mumbled. "What about it?"

"You didn't want to do it because you were 'light headed' and trying to undress yourself. Well, a photographer snapped you and posted the pics. As if that wasn't enough the interviewer has posted the story with the headline 'Tipsy Tom's Terrific Night' and goes on to say you were a bit under the weather. You're trending on social media."

I couldn't help but laugh hard at his response.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

# D.I.Y Tom

"Darling," he called out. "We really must do something about these piles of books. I keep tripping over them."

"I mentioned it to you last week and suggested we get some more of the shelves like we have in the library." I said.

"I thought we could get some flat pack ones and I'll put them together." he suggested.

I considered how to respond to that and, seeing the look on my face he said, " What, you think I can't?"

"I didn't say that. I'm just remembering last time," I laughed.

"That wasn't my fault. They didn't put the holes in the right place," he objected.

Giving him a dubious look, I shrugged and told him it was up to him. Next minute we're bundled into the car and at the store. 30 minutes later he'd selected the shelves and we were back in the car and on our way home with them.

At home he pulled everything out of the boxes and assured me, "I'm fine love. I've got this."

Having learnt from past experience that he was best left alone I went to the kitchen and began making lunch. As time went on I could hear lots of banging, then there was some yelling followed by lots of cursing and swearing then, total silence.

"You ok in there babe?" I asked. No response. "Tom? You ok my love?"

The door opened, out pops his bloodied head, big smile.

"Darling, I did it! Look!" he announced proudly gesturing over his shoulder.

Sure enough, there was the shelf looking almost like it did in the picture on the box.

"Wonderful!" I exclaimed, "but what did you do to your head?"

Absent mindedly he wiped his hand across his forehead and looked at the blood.

"Must have bumped it," he answered. "I'll go clean up. You put the books on the shelf."

I picked up the first pile of books, put them on the shelf and watched on in disbelief as the shelf collapsed with a bang. Turning to the door I called out "...um babe?"


	4. Friendly Fight and The Morning After

# Friendly Fight

"Babe, I was thi.." "Darling, I had a thou.." We both began speaking together.

Having a bit of a chuckle, I said, "You go."

"No, no, you go," he insisted.

"Well, I saw that Josh was in town and I thought maybe we should have him over for beer and pizza," I suggested.

Tom leaned over and kissed my forehead. " I was just about to say he was in town and suggest he stay here."

I went to air the guest room out, open the windows and check the towels in the ensuite while Tom called Josh.

Coming to find me, Tom was all smiles. "He'll be here around 6pm. I told him we insist he stay and he said he'd love to."

"It's been a while since we've seen him," I said. "It'll be good to catch up."

"I'm really looking forward to it," Tom beamed.

Josh was right on time and once he was settled we ordered pizza, had a few beers and I listened to Tom and Josh reminisce. It gladdened my heart to see them together, their fondness of one another was not only apparent but genuine. Many belly laughs, and beers, later we called it a night.

Tom and Josh disappeared down the hallway together while I fed the dogs and cats. 10 minutes later I was heading towards our bedroom when I heard giggling. Smiling to myself I thought they must have still been telling stories of days gone by until I heard a couple of large thuds followed by shouts then hysterical laughter. I couldn't help myself, I had to see what they were up to. Gently pushing on the door I couldn't help but laugh with the sight before my eyes...

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

# The Morning After

Holy cow, what a night that turned out to be! Popped my head in to the guest room to see what all the laughter was and found Tom and Josh having a pillow fight. I was about to leave them to it but no, I got dragged in to it as well. I got smashed, they don't fight fair! I eventually got away and put myself to bed. No idea what time Tom came to bed but it was late. I left them to have a sleep in this morning while I ran some errands. Got back mid morning and Josh was up and having coffee. We chatted for a while about tonight's get together. I asked Josh how long he was in town for, and when he said a couple more days I insisted he stay with us, then I made brunch and went to wake Tom up. Opened the door quietly and was about to tiptoe into our room and jump on him but got met with this.

"Morning gorgeous," I said.

"Mmmm," he mumbled. "Morning beautiful. Come here, I want to show you something..."he grinned as he dragged me to him.

He's such an adorable dork.


	5. Backyard Barbecue and Coffee Date

# Backyard BBQ

"Darling, I think we should probably start setting up don't you?" Tom asked.

"It's still early babe but we can if you want to."

Going to the shed, we dragged the extra tables and chairs out and set them around the yard. Tom hadn't stopped smiling and I could see he was excited.

"Are you just a bit excited my love?" I teased.

Walking over to me, he put his arm around me.

"How did you know?" he joked.

"You're running around like a kid on red cordial and have been grinning like a Cheshire cat all afternoon." I teased.

"It feels like such a long time since we've seen everyone," he said.

"That's because it has been."

Standing back and admiring our handiwork, we were pleased with the set up. We had a couple of bbq's set up, and a pizza oven, and would be having finger foods so it could be a 'help yourself' type of thing.

Showered, changed and having a drink, we heard the first of our friends arrive. We had a great night but didn't take a lot of photos deciding to spend time with our friends instead. Please excuse Tom's wardrobe changes. One shirt ended up with bbq sauce all over it (thanks Chris) and one ended up with scotch all over it (thanks Zach).

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

# Coffee Date

Finally finished cleaning up after last night's shindig and had just opened my laptop when Tom came looking for me.

"Where are you love?" he called.

'Seriously?' I thought to myself. "In the office," I answered. "I wasn't sure you were home. Didn't see you when I was cleaning up ."

"Sorry to leave you with all that. I had to take care of something," he responded. "Let's go grab a coffee, we haven't had much time alone these last few days. I miss you."

Son of a gun knows that gets me everytime but I really need to get some work done.

"Sorry babe, I can't. I really need to get some writing done."

Looking up I get met with the puppy dog eyes. "Please darling? Just an hour?"

"Don't give me the puppy eyes, you know that's one of my weaknesses," I laughed. "No, I really need to get some words down."

"Do you mind if I go then," he questioned. "I'll give you some space."

"You go," I told him. "I'll miss you though."

"Then come with me. Honestly darling, I want to spend some alone time with you." he pleaded.

"It's tempting but I really want to get some work done. I'm sorry babe, and stop with the puppy eyes," I laughed.

"Ok, I'll go on my own then," he said with an exagerrated sigh.

Laughing, I gave him a kiss goodbye and sat staring at the screen...and sat, and sat. Damn him and those puppy eyes. Packing up, I grabbed my phone and keys and headed to the cafe I knew he'd be at.

"Darling, you came!" he said giving me a brilliant smile. "You've made me the happiest man alive."

Leaning over the table he hugged me then, when I sat down, I noticed a little box on the table.

"For you," he said. "Just because I love you."

Opening the box I saw a gorgeous silver chain and at the end was a miniature replica of Loki's sceptre complete with tesseract.

"It's beautiful Tom!" I exclaimed. "Thank you."

"No darling. Thank you for everything you've done and for putting up with hordes of people these last few days."


	6. Family Fun Day and Time For Us

# Family Funday

"Quick, go with Tom and he'll get you ice cream," I told Landon.

Landon ran over to Tom and together they walked up to the van.

"What flavour would you like?" Tom asked.

Landon told Tom what he wanted, then asked if his sister Jaye could have one too.

"Of course," was the answer. "What do you think she'd like?"

I could see Landon carefully considering his answer then, with a nod of his head, he told Tom. Ice creams bought, they wandered back over to us and Landon proudly handed Jaye her ice cream.

"I remember you like choc chip."

Both kids thanked Tom and went to sit down with their ice creams. Tom was beaming. We spent the day with my family at the botanical gardens strolling through the walking trails and just enjoying being able to be together again. I went and sat by Tom.

"Thanks for getting their ice creams. They liked you before, they love you now," I teased.

"They're great kids," he said watching them devour their ice creams. "I've really enjoyed today darling. You're family is so charmingly dysfunctional."

I laughed, "They certainly are, but it keeps life interesting."

Putting his arm around my shoulders Tom drew me in close and placed a kiss on the corner of my mouth ,"I can't wait to get you home darling and have you all to myself so I can have my wicked way with you."

Leaning my head on his shoulder I asked, "Shall we say our goodbyes now?"

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time  For Us

It's been another fun filled day spent with family and friends. We've loved seeing everyone over the last week and consider ourselves blessed to have such wonderful people around us. I noticed Tom was a little quiet today, still happy and  socialising but I knew something was bothering him.

Pulling him aside I cupped his cheek with my hand, "what's bothering you my love?"

He smiled, "nothing darling. It's all good."

Looking him directly in the eye I shook my head, "I know you well enough to know something's wrong. Spill. What's up?"

He bent down and kissed me lightly on the lips before hugging me and whispering in my ear, " I miss you darling. I miss us. It feels like forever since it's been just us. I need to feel you in my arms, pressed against me."

Sighing, I knew exactly how he felt, what he meant. I held his hand while looking at him, really looking at him. I could see the strain on his face. "Ok my love, we're leaving as soon as we say our goodbyes."

We both love our family and friends but sometimes we have a deep need of being able to shut everything out and having our world consist of just the two of us. This was one of those times.

We did the rounds saying goodbye to everyone then headed for the car and the sanctity of home.

Once there, we locked ourselves in, put the music on, held each other close, danced and loved each other.

(Photo credit to owner)


	7. Gardening Parts 1 and 2

# Gardening (part 1)

"Mmm, good morning darling," he said playing big spoon as he dragged me back against him. "How's my little spoon this morning?"

Wriggling out of his arms, I flipped over so I was facing him then snuggled up against his chest. "Wonderful. I really needed last night."

"I think we both did my love," he murmured against my forehead.

We spent the night together, alone, no phones, no TV, no interruptions. We danced, laughed, sang, read and loved.

"I was thinking maybe we could do some yardwork today," he said. "I noticed the other night it could use some attention."

I agreed, "It is getting a bit untidy and I want to get those vegetable gardens planted out too."

"Shall we then?" he asked, rolling out of bed.

I headed for the kitchen and put the coffee on and started getting his porridge ready while he fed the dogs. After breakfast we headed out into the yard, enjoyed the fresh air, sunshine and each other's company. We've both ended up a mess but our gardens look fantastic. We've just stopped for a quick drink then we can get the last vegetable garden dug and planted out.... (to be continued.)

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

# Gardening (part 2)

UPDATE:

" We're done!" I cheered doing a little happy dance.

He smiled, " It was exhausting but I'm so glad we did it. The yard looks fantastic and once the vegetables come in we'll be eating like royalty for months."

Standing side by side arms, around each other, we were both sporting self satisfied smiles at our achievements for the day. The dogs had been having a wonderful time helping us dig then stopping to sniff the soil every couple of minutes.

"I can't wait to have a shower. Do you want to go first or will I?" he asked.

" You go," I said. "You worked harder than I did. Besides I really want a cuppa."

He turned me towards the bathroom and, with a little swat on my butt said, "You always put me first. I insist you go first and I'll make you a cuppa for when you're done."

I was about to protest when he shook his head, "No arguing darling. Off you go."

I headed to the shower and it felt wonderful. Hearing a noise in the bathroom I called out, "Is that you babe?" All I got in response was a chuckle so I popped my head out of the screen....

I never did get that cuppa.


	8. Bedside Mishap and Because I Miss You

# Bedside Mishap

"Stay in bed," he ordered as he got up. "You hardly slept last night so have a lie in."

"But it's boring when you're not here," I complained. "Besides, I've got things to do."

He let out a frustrated sigh, "Please darling, stay in bed. I'll bring you coffee and we'll read the paper."

"What, so I can start the day even more depressed? You know I don't read the paper and I'll probably spill the coffee."

We both chuckled then, I tend to be just a little (!!!) accident prone. "Ok," I said. "I'll stay put while you make coffee."

And with that I sat watching him. "Well, go on then," I told him.

"Why are you in such a hurry suddenly?" he questioned.

"Because I like watching you walk," I smirked.

Shaking his head and grinning he told me, "You're incorrigible."

I laughed as he self consciously walked to the door then, when he was gone, I lay back down. I could hear him pottering around in the kitchen singing to himself then, heard the chair scrape as he sat down waiting for the kettle. I decided to do some writing and, not wanting to get up and discovering I'd left the laptop on the floor near the bed, reached out to grab it. I almost had my fingertips on it when the pillow moved causing my shoulder to slide, me to overbalance and roll forward straight off the side of the bed and landing with a massive thud on the floor....

"Baaaaaabe, helllllllpppppp."

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# Because I miss you

Patting myself down, I did a mental check 'keys, wallet, phone' no, no phone. Where the hell did I leave it? Looking around, I couldn’t see it. Next thing I hear it ringing. Listening as I walk towards the sound, I tracked it down just as it stopped ringing. Checking caller I.D, I noticed it was Tom.

"Babe, why did you call me?"

"So you could find your phone," he replied.

The man was amazing, he knew me better than I knew me.

"Thank you," I said as he came into the room. " Right. Well, are you ready?"

"Ready?" he queeried. "For what?"

"My car's going in to the mechanic. You said you could drop me off in town so I could run errands."

"Oh yes. Well, yes, I'm ready. Let's go," he answered.

Following me to the mechanics, he dropped me in town afterwards with the promise of returning to pick me up when my car was ready. I was in the supermarket when my phone rang. It was Tom.

"Darling where's my jogging shirt?"

"2nd drawer left side," I answered.

",Ah, yes. Thanks love."

On I continued. At the butcher, my phone rings. "Hey babe, what's up?"

"Do you know where my airbuds are,?"

"Blue glass bowl on the sideboard," I answered.

"Love you," he said. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Love you too," I told him.

10 minutes later he called again. "Your car's ready. I'll come pick you up. Where are you?" he asked.

I told him where I was and, true to his word, he was there quickly, took me to get my car, then left. I continued on my way and he managed to call me another 4 times over trivial stuff.

I was just about to lose my cool on the 5th call when he said, " meet me for coffee in 15 minutes. Same place as usual."

I checked the time. "Make it 20," I said.

Running around like a lunatic, I made it to the coffee shop in 25 minutes feeling frazzled until I saw him. He smiled that devastatingly glorious smile of his and suddenly, all was good and right in the world.

"There she is," he said kissing my cheek. "Darling, I know I shouldn't call you every 5 minutes but, I miss you when we're not together and just want to hear your voice. I'm sorry, I know I frustrate you. Forgive me?"

Sighing, I looked at him then smiled. "You're crazy. We were apart less than 3 hours. Good thing I love you. You're forgiven. Now scootch over."


	9. Isn't It Obvious and Do As You're Told

# Isn’t it obvious?

"Hello you gorgeous man," I grinned looking down at him. "I've missed you. How was your day?"

"It was good. We're a bit closer to sorting all the schedules which is promising," he answered. "Darling, at the risk of sounding silly, why the hell are you on top of the carport and why are the sheets all over the bedroom floor?"

"Because I had to change the sheets," I said looking at him as if it was obvious.

Looking a little perplexed, he nodded, "Of course, why else would you be up there. Do you think you could connect a few dots for me?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I questioned. "It's obvious."

Slumping his shoulders a little, he gave me the look he reserves for when I frustrate the hell out of him but he doesn't want me to know he's frustrated. "Of course it is love. To you. Mind explaining it to me? And will you please get down?"

Clambering down the ladder, I dusted myself off, kissed him then said: "I had to change the sheets but, when I went into the bedroom our first date photo had fallen off the wall. I went to the kitchen to get the hooks but when I opened the bottom drawer it got stuck so I had to clean it out. When I was cleaning it out, I found some old photos so I went to put them in the album. When I opened the album box there were loose photos so I had to put them back but the sticky bits didn't stick so I went to the office to find some more. When I opened the drawer the handle came off so I went the garage to get a screwdriver to fix it but knocked the ladder over and scared the dogs. The dogs ran into the yard and I ran after them to calm them down and then they wanted to play but I couldn't find the ball and Frisbee. It was then I remembered they ended up on the carport roof last time we played with them so, I got the ladder and got them down and that's why the sheets are on the floor," I explained.

Nodding, he looked at me through his fingers. "Darling, you're quite mad you know?"

Laughing I agreed, "Yes, but you love me anyway."

He pulled me close, "Yes. Yes I do."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

# Do as you’re told

"Now darling, for once in your life can you please do as you're told?" he almost begged.

Giving him 'the look,' I got quite indignant, " I beg your pardon. Contrary to your belief I do as I'm told...mostly."

"Yes, when it suits you," he chuckled. "Now, come on. Let's get you home "

We chatted about books we wanted to read, films and TV shows we wanted to watch and what music we were enjoying at present. Arriving home, he came around to help me out the car.

" I can do it," I said.

"I have no doubt that you can do it darling, but stop being so stubborn and let me help," he demanded putting his hand under my elbow.

I let him help me inside where he insisted I sit on the couch.

"Now remember what the doctor said, leg up and rest," he told me.

Rolling my eyes I looked up at him, "I'm resting."

"Good. Now, would you like coffee ?" he asked on his way to the kitchen.

"Yes please," I called after him.

Waiting til he was out of sight, I grabbed my crutches, hauled myself up off the couch and was just about to hobble away to check the gardens when a voice stopped me dead in my tracks.

"And where do you think you're going?"

Turning back around, sitting my bum down on the couch and putting my crutches down, I looked up with a huge smile, "nowhere babe. Nowhere.

"Hmmmm," was the response.


	10. Hold On and Lunchtime Lazy's

# Hold on

Walking into the living room he found the couch had been vacated by yours truly.

"Darling, where are you?" he called out. "You're meant to be on the couch resting."

"I'll be there in a minute," I answered.

"Wrong answer," he said. "Not in a minute. Get your sweet little bum back here now and rest."

"Yeah, hold on. I'm coming," I yelled out.

Damn, I could hear footsteps coming.

"What the hell are you doing love?" he questioned as he started looking for me.

"Just wait there," I told him rushing around like a mad woman. "I'm coming."

"Care to explain?" he asked walking into the room to find me with the vacuum cleaner hose tucked under one arm and a crutch tucked under the other.

"No, not really," I said.

"Darling, you're supposed to be resting," he groaned.

"I am," I answered holding the hose and pipe out, "see, I'm resting on the vacuum cleaner."

Apparently he didn't think I was funny.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

# Lunchtime Lazy’s

I could hear Tom pottering around in the kitchen singing to himself from my spot on the living room couch. The noise of pots and pans banging and clanging, and the occasional colourful phrase filtered through. After one particularly loud outburst I called out, "You ok out there?"

He responded quickly," Yes love, all good. Sorry I disturbed you."

Chuckling to myself as I imagined the mess he was making I answered, "No problem. Do you need help?"

"No!" he almost shouted. "I'm fine. You stay put."

"I'm bored. Can't I help?" I asked.

He came into the living room, "No, you can't. Sit, watch TV, a movie...I don't care what, but stay put."

Rolling my eyes I settled back on the couch, "Only if you come give me a kiss," I insisted.

Smiling, he shook his head, "you drive a hard bargain, but ok."

And with that he came over and gave me a toe curling kiss. "Now, stay put. Lunch will be ready soon."

He went back to the kitchen and, after channel flicking, I decided I didn't want to watch TV so hobbled into the library where I curled up in my favourite recliner with a book. The noises from the kitchen stopped and I could hear his footsteps heading for the living room. Giggling to myself I waited for the holler. It didn't take long.

"Bloody hell woman! Where did you go? Why can't you stay where you're supposed to?"

I could hear him moving around looking for me then he came bursting into the library, "I swear darling you're drivin...oh! Well, good." 

I looked up from my book with a smile, "hey babe, what's up?"

"Nothing love, good to see you resting. Lunch is ready...oh and by the way, I cleaned up after myself," he announced proudly.


	11. To Bra or Not To Bra and Coffee Date

# To bra or not to bra

"Babe, you'll have to go without me," I said as I sat on the side of the bed.

"But I want you to come with me," he frowned. "Come on darling, it'll do you good."

Sighing, I shook my head, "I'd love to come but I'll only slow you down, and I have nothing to wear."

He walked over to my wardrobe and opened it then turned to me and, with a sweep of his hand indicated the clothing, " You have a closet full of clothes. Pick something."

Laughing at him I said, "I know I've got a closet full of clothes. What I meant is, I don't have any pants or jeans that will fit over the bandages...plus the brace is ugly."

He started searching through my clothes mumbling to himself about knowing something was still there.

"What are you looking for?" I asked.

Hold on," he answered. " I think I've got it. Yep, here you go love. Wear this."

He handed me a three quarter length black skirt I'd forgotten I owned.

"How did you remember this? I'd forgotten I owned it."

He shrugged, "I've always loved it on you. I love the way it swings when you walk."

Putting the skirt on, I turned around to be handed a baby pink fitted knit sweater.

"Really?" I questioned.

He nodded, "Really. It's gorgeous on you."

"As you wish," I said, lifting my oversized tshirt over my head. Looking up, I tilted my head to the side. "I forgot to grab a bra. Would you mind?"

"Hmmm? What?"

Laughing at him I said, "It's ok, I'll get it."

He looked at me for a few seconds then said, "You know darling, I think I like you better without it."

I guess we'll go out later...

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

# Coffee date

"Did you want your camera love?" Tom asked as we got to the door.

"Oh, yes. I forgot to grab it, hold on and I'll go get it," I said bouncing on the spot to turn around.

Chuckling quietly, Tom told me to stay put, "I'll get it. You wait here. Do you want the whole bag or just the camera?"

"Just the camera and can you grab the 70mm - 400mm lens as well?" I asked.

He came back carrying a small bag with my camera and the lens."Is this bag ok?"

I nodded and went to take it from him but got a friendly swat on the backside, "you operate the crutches. I've got the bag," he smiled. "Now, let's get moving. I need coffee."

We got out to the car where he helped me in, always the gentleman, nearly always considerate. It didn't take long to get to our favourite Cafe where we chose to sit outside. Tom ordered his latte and I had my usual long black with a dash. He ordered breakfast for himself but I wasn't particularly hungry, preferring just to have my coffee. We sat chatting about a few upcoming social events we'll be attending and a new script that had arrived for him to look over.

"I'm not sure about it love," he said frowning. "It's just not quite sitting right. It's a great part but, I'm just not feeling it."

"I don't believe you," I told him. "I saw your face light up when you were reading it. When do you need to give them an answer?"

"I've got a couple of weeks," he shrugged. "I'll think about it."

"Babe, take it. Please," I said. "I know why you're hesitant and by the time you need to go I'll be running around everywhere. I can get my sister to watch out for me while you have the preliminary meetings. Please don't let me hold you back. It was written for you, you'll be brilliant."

Shaking his head, he smiled, " I'll think about it. No promises. Now, how about you take some photos. It's been far too long since we've had anything new from you adorning our walls."


	12. Family Follies and Finally Alone

# Family Follies

"Are you sure you'll be ok?" he asked for about the tenth time.

"As I told you the previous nine times you asked, I'll be fine," I assured him. "My sister, niece and her kids are coming remember? They can help if I need anything."

"Well, if you're sure," he said. "I'm hoping I'll only be gone a couple of hours."

"Go. I'll be fine," I told him.

He came up and kissed me long and slow.

Laughing, I pushed him away, "You keep that up and neither of us are going to get anything done."

"Alright, I'm going. Miss you already. Behave yourself and don't overdo it," he called as he left the room.

He'd only been gone 20 minutes when my parents unexpectedly turned up with a wheelchair.

"What the hell is that for?" I asked.

"For you. To make it easier to get around," answered my mother then my father chimed in, "hop in and I'll show you how it works."

"I'm good," I responded. "I'm pretty sure I can figure it out. Thanks though." Sarcasm really is lost on these people.

Just after that my sister, niece and my nieces kids arrived. The kids ran through the house chasing the dog and cats, tipping lego out all over the floor and pulling our marvel memorabilia off the shelves. My parents started bickering and trying to talk over the kids, the cats ran for their lives and I was helpless to do anything.

The place was absolute chaos when Tom arrived home.

"Darling," he said coming over to me in pretence of kissing me but whispering in my ear, "What the bloody hell is going on?"

Smiling up at him I then looked around, shrugged and said, "My family's come to visit. Oh, and babe? Look, my parent's bought a wheelchair."

The look on his face was priceless, "Oh, that's um..err..um, that's...nice? Darling when are they going?"

"Oh, they invited themselves for dinner," I informed him. He looks thrilled don't you think?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

# Finally Alone

I said goodbye to my parents and closed the door with a relieved sigh. My sister, niece and kids had left earlier much to Tom's relief. I tried to tidy up a bit but found I couldn't be bothered.

"Babe?" I called out. "You can come out now, they've gone."

I didn't get a response.

"That's odd," I thought as I hopped along the hallway. "Tom, where you at?" I called again.

I stopped and listened then heard a rustle. Popping my head around the doorway of Tom's man cave I chuckled. "It's safe to come out, they've gone."

"Darling your family are wonderfully bonkers, completely dysfunctional and I love them dearly but they've worn me out today," he said sipping on a scotch.

"Might join you," I nodded indicating the bottle.

He jumped up and grabbed another glass. "Scotch or bourbon, love?" he asked.

"Bourbon please," I answered. "Leave the bottle."

He gave a big belly laugh as he handed me the drink, "Here you go."

"Thanks babe. Cheers."

We tapped glasses and both of us emptied our glasses in one mouthful.

"Refill?" he smiled.

I held my glass out and Tom poured me a nip of bourbon then went to put the bottle down.

"I'll tell you when to stop," I grinned as he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Hmmm, we in for a messy night darling?" he queeried.

"I feel like drinking and dancing," I told him.

"I knew I loved you for a reason," he laughed turning to put some music on.

"Shall we?" he asked, holding his hand out for me. "Don't forget your legs," he said handing me my crutches.

We danced a few dances then he went to top our drinks up. I was totally wrapped up in the music and dancing, when I looked up to see him sittind there, leaning on one arm watching me.

"You're sexy as hell when you look like that," I told him.

"You're sexy as hell when you move like that," he replied coming over to me and holding me in his arms.

Many scotches, bourbons and dances later we'd both forgotten the chaos that is my family and were totally lost in each other again.


	13. After Alcohol Effects and Birthday Bash

# Alcohol After Effects

Moaning, I rolled over and cautiously opened one eye. My mouth felt like a desert and, judging by the headache, I was dehydrated. I could hear Tom snoring softly beside me, water bottle just near his hand. Reaching up, I grabbed the clock and checked the time. 8.37 a.m. I lay back down and snuggled closer to him. We had a great night together. Drank more than we probably should have, danced for hours then Tom decided it would be a great idea to carry me to bed. Stumbling up the hallway, giggling like a couple of school kids we made it to the bedroom doorway when he stumbled and we both landed in a heap on the bed. I remember saying we should get undressed but Tom said he should stay dressed so he could save time getting ready for his meeting in the morning. Meeting! Holy cow! I sat bolt upright in bed and grabbed the clock, 8.46 a.m. Damn.

"Babe, wake up," I poked Tom who didn't respond. I grabbed his shoulder, "Babe, come on. Wake up quick. It's late."

Groaning, he tried to roll away, "Go 'way," he mumbled. "Still sleeping."

"No, you can't. Tom. Come on babe, it's early 9 o'clock. You've got a meeting at 10."

He rolled towards me, opened one eye, looked confused and said, "What? Oh God. My head."

"You have to get up. You have a meeting in an hour. Come on, move." I told him.

He lay there looking at me like I was speaking an alien language. "Darling, my head hurts and my mouth is dry."

"You drank too much," I muttered. " Ok, I need you to listen."

He nodded at me but I could see he felt sorry for himself. "Darling, why am I fully dressed?" he asked looking utterly confused.

"You refused to undress last night so you could save time this morning...getting ready for your meeting," I said slowly.

I could see the moment my words penetrated his fuzzy brain. His eyes widened, he swore, then he jumped out of bed moaning and groaning about his head while running around looking for shoes. Sniffing his underarms, he recoiled then grabbed the deodorant and sprayed half a can. He made it to the bathroom, washed, cleaned his teeth and made himself presentable in 10 minutes, gave me a kiss and went running for the door. 3 hours later he walked through the door with 2 very large coffees in hand, walked over to me kissed me, handed me a coffee, sat down beside me and said, "You're a very bad girl for getting me drunk, you know that right?"

"Good job you love bad girls then huh?"

Shaking his head and chuckling he put his arm around me, pulled me close and said, "your incorrigible."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

# Birthday Bash

"How you feeling?" I asked.

"Better after coffee," he answered "Come on, let's go rest up for a bit. We've got Elsa's birthday party tonight remember."

"What time are we meeting up with Chris and Elsa?" I questioned as he led the way up the hallway.

"Dinner at 7p.m then party afterwards," Tom said. "But it's not going to be a late night. Only 8 of us for dinner then I think Chris said 20 at the party."

"I don't think I could do another big night," I chuckled.

We lay down for a couple of hours then Tom ran a bath for me.

"Come on gorgeous," he said carrying me into the bathroom.

"I can walk you know," I laughed as he put me down gently.

"I know but I like the way you snuggle when I carry you," he answered.

"Babe, can you get the bag for my leg please?" I asked.

He brought it over to me, taped me up and helped me into the bath. After soaking for a while, I let the water out then manouvered myself about and stood up. He came in and helped me out then he showered. We dressed and headed for the restaurant. After enjoying a lovely meal with Elsa, Chris and family we headed out to the club where a private room had been booked. We partied with family and friends, sang happy birthday to Elsa, cheered as she cut the gorgeous cake Chris had ordered for her and laughed over the slideshow of photos that were shown.

At midnight we all said our goodbyes and were heading out to our car but got stopped at the door with a few people asking for photos. Everyone was happy to oblige and we spent about 10 minutes with fans while Tom, Chris, Liam, Luke and some friends signed autographs and took photos. We knew it was time to move on when I turned and saw this glaring at some paparazzi who had turned up

Chuckling, I grabbed Tom's hand, "come on babe, your Loki's showing."


	14. Breakfast Surprise and Kids Play

# Breakfast Surprise

"Coffee babe?" I asked as he came into the kitchen.

"Please," he answered. "Here, let me do it."

"I've got it,"I told him. "You can carry it to the table when I'm done."

I brewed the coffee and he carried it over to the table where we sat chatting about Elsa's party last night.

"It was great to catch up with everyone," Tom said. "It feels like forever since we've all been together."

"It's been at least 4 years since we've seen the entire clan," I calculated. "I don't think everyone's been together since Tristin and Sasha's 2nd birthday."

"Yes, I guess that'd be about right," Tom nodded. "It would be nice to spend more time with everyone."

I smiled up at him, "Chris said they were in town for a couple of weeks. Why don't you call him and organise something?"

Standing up to take the coffee mugs to the sink, he paused behind my chair, bent down and kissed the top of my head, "I will after breakfast. Do you want pancakes?"

"Sounds good," I answered.

He was mixing the batter when the doorbell rang.

"Damn," he said, wiping his hands.

"I'll get it," I told him.

"Are you sure love?" he asked.

"I've got it," I said. "You keep going, I'm hungry."

Laughing I grabbed my crutches and went to answer the door. The bell rang again just as I got to the door.

"Hang on, I'm coming," I called out.

Opening the door I let out a squeal as I was swept off my feet in a huge bear hug.

"Chris! Put her down. Gently," Elsa exclaimed as Chris twirled me around.

"G'day gorgeous," he said as he carefully put me back down.

"I'm so sorry for turning up unannounced," Elsa apologised. "But we were in the neighbourhood and this one wanted to visit." She indicated Chris with a nod.

"No, it's fine," I assured her. "Tom was going to call you guys soon anyway. Come in." I stood back from the door to allow them entry.

Chris and India came through first, then Elsa holding the hands of Tristan and Sasha.

"Tom's just making pancakes. Come through to the kitchen." I said.

"Awesome, just in time for breakfast," Chris laughed.

"Hey babe, you better mix up more batter," I chuckled hopping into the kitchen. " We've got visitors."

" Yeah and I'm plenty hungry," Chris announced.

"Hey man," Tom smiled. "Great to see you. I was going to call you."

"So I just heard," Chris answered.

Tom cooked up a feast of pancakes and we ended up spending the morning together with the promise of a big family get together very soon.

(Sorry about the poor quality pic)

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

# Kids Play

After spending the morning over a lengthy breakfast with Chris, Elsa and their children we decided to head out to the local park for some fresh air. Chris grabbed a football and frisbee out of their car while Tom and I put leashes on Bobby and Paddy who were excited to be going out.

Once at the park, the children ran for the swings calling out for Tom and Chris to push them. After a couple of minutes they decided to play frisbee while Elsa and I sat on a bench seat chatting and laughing at the antics of Chris and Tom trying to 'one up' each other as they made it increasingly difficult for the other to catch the frisbee. Tristan and Sasha soon abandoned them and started kicking the football around. India stayed with Sasha and Tristan, retrieving the ball if they kicked it too far. Pretty soon Tom and Chris joined them and they all ran around like madmen.

I told Elsa to join them if she wanted but she assured me she was happy to just sit and watch them. Bobby and Paddy had exhausted themselves and were laying down near Elsa and I. It was such a lovely day and made me happy to see Chris and Tom together again. I know Tom missed him but, with work commitments it wasn't always easy to catch up with friends as much as we'd like to. After a couple of hours Elsa called out to Chris that they'd have to go soon.

Packing up, we wandered back to our house, watered the dogs and said bye to our friends.

"That was great," Tom grinned. "It was so good to see them."

"You and Chris are like overgrown kids,"I laughed. "You must be exhausted after all that running around."

"No love, I'm fine," he said. "But I might just go take a shower."

Sniffing himself, he wrinkled his nose, "Won't be long."

Bending down to kiss me I caught a whiff of him, "phew, babe. Shower. Now," and swatted his backside playfully as he stood up.

"Come join me," he smirked.

"No, you stink," I laughed. "Go."

Coming back he started to chuckle as he wrapped me in a big hug, "But you always say I smell so good."

I couldn't help but giggle, "Not now you don't. Get off me and go shower."

Planting one more kiss on my forehead he left the room."Ok, you win. Back in 5," he said.

I sat on the couch with a book and lost track of time. 25 minutes had gone by and Tom still wasn't back from his shower.

'Unusual,' I thought. 'Tom's usually only in the shower for 5 minutes'.

I called out but got no answer so went in search of him. I found him on the easy chair in our room, sound asleep. I guess all that running around was exhausting after all.


	15. Returning To Work and Little Miss Cranky Pants

# Returning to Work

"Are you coming darling?" he asked.

"I might just stay here I think," I answered. "I've got a few things I want to get done "

"Are you sure? I was going to take you out for lunch afterwards," he said.

"Babe, I really want to get some work done. I'm so far behind it's ridiculous," I told him.

"Bring your laptop. You can work while I do the read through. Come on love, please?" he pleaded. "With me going back to work soon we won't have much free time. Let's make the most of what time we have got."

Rolling my eyes at him I got up to go get changed, "Don't use logic on me Mr Hiddleston, you know it rarely works. I will, however, let you convince me this time."

"Thank you my love," he called after me.

We drove to the studio where a meeting had been set up for Tom to have a chat with the creative team of a drama series he'd been asked to do. He had a couple of concerns and wanted to have a read through and make sure he felt the character was the right fit for him. I found a quiet corner and started adding more to my current novel. I was lucky that I could take my work with me. It meant we never had to be separated if we chose not to be. I could hear Tom reading through the part and got totally distracted from my work finding myself sitting mesmerised by his voice. Finishing up, he took the headphones off, gave me a huge smile and told me he'd be finished up shortly.

I was packing my laptop away when he came up to me,"ready to go?"

"Let me just do this up and I will be," I indicated the zip on my bag.

"Right, let's go," he took the bag from me and we headed for the car.

Arriving at the restaurant I could tell he was excited about something. "Ok, spill. What's got you excited?" I chuckled.

"I'm glad you made me look at that script again. It's a really good part. I'm taking it," he announced.

"Thank goodness," I stated. "It's perfect for you. Now, can we eat? I'm starving."

We enjoyed a nice light lunch discussing what taking the part meant in terms of relocating, then headed home where I finally got some work done.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

# Little Miss CrankyPants

"I'm done sitting here doing nothing. It's a beautiful winter's day, I'm going out," I sulked.

I heard the sigh which only served to make my mood worse.

"Where are you going?" he asked. "I don't know," I snapped.

"Just, out. I'm going stir crazy sitting here doing nothing." And with that I grabbed my bag, put my phone, a book and a bottle of water in it and hopped down the hallway.

I got to the front door when he called out, "How are you intending to get to wherever it is you're going? You won't get far with them." He indicated the crutches.

"I'll get as far as I want," my stubborn side was about to appear in all its spectacular glory and he knew it judging by the grimace on his face.

"Darling, just wai.."

"Don't you darling me," I cut in. "I've had enough. I just want to be able to get out without you fussing and driving me crazy with your over protectiveness."

"I'm not being over protective love," he said quietly. "I'm just making sure you look after yourself."

Giving myself a mental slap I turned back to him, "I just need to get out, go sit in the sun, go for a walk...a slow one ok?"

He came up and hugged me. "How about we go down to the river. We can go for a bit of a walk then sit in the sun for a while. You're right it's a beautiful day, way too nice to be cooped up."

I nodded, feeling awful that I'd taken my frustrations out on him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't get snappy with you, I know it's not your fault."

"Come on," he said bundling me out the door. "We'll drive down then we can walk."

"Seems ridiculous to drive when it's a 3 minute walk," I complained. It seemed my mood hadn't quite abated yet.

"Darling...sorry," his hands went up as I shot him 'the look'. "I was just going to say that if we take the car we can go for a drive afterwards if you like."

I held his gaze for a moment then nodded, "nice save Mr H," I grinned.

We headed down to the river and I hobbled along beside him for about 5 minutes then we sat enjoying the winter sun, reading for the next hour. When we got home he made us a nice brew and we sat snuggled on the couch.

"Thank you for taking me," I said. "And I'm sorry I got cranky."

"You were?" he asked with raised eyebrows. "Can't say I noticed."

Glancing up at him with a raised eyebrow of my own, he caught my look then we both burst out laughing. Nothing is perfect but a bit of understanding goes a long way.


	16. Oops and Oh Hush Up!

"You're in a much better mood today my love," he said sipping his tea.  
I nodded, "I am, and I'm sorry I'm such an ungrateful brat sometimes. I was just frustrated."  
We'd made lunch and a pot of tea and Tom carried it all out the back to the entertainment area where we sat enjoying another beautiful sunny winter's day.  
"At the risk of you getting cross with me, are you sure you'll be ok tonight?" he asked. "I'll postpone if you want me to."  
"I'll be fine," I replied.  
Dubious look on his face, I got the raised eyebrow stare.  
"Oh for goodness sake Tom, it's a couple of hours. What could possibly go wrong?"  
I thought about that for a second and added, "Actually, don't answer that but, honestly, I'll be fine."  
Chuckling, he booped my nose with his finger, "I know you. I know exactly what could go wrong. "  
"What time are you meeting Michael?" I questioned, deciding to try and steer the conversation away from my shortcomings.  
"Meet at 6 then dinner for 6.30. I should be home around 9.30. You can call if you need anything."  
Finishing up with lunch, we tidied up then Tom made a few calls while I called my sister.  
At 5, he showered, changed and came to sit with me for a few minutes.  
"Are you sure you..."  
I cut him off, "I'll be fine. I'm going to get some work done. I still have to edit the photos I took the other day and I want to get some writing done "  
He left me sorting through photos, making me promise to call if I needed anything.  
After an hour or so, I got up to get a drink and noticed the kitchen bench top needed cleaned. I cleaned it and, as always happens, noticed other things that needed attention. Checking the time, I decided to go ahead and clean as Tom should still be another hour and a half at least. Finishing off, I looked at the floor and decided to vacuum. It's surprisingly easy to do on crutches so, there I was, music turned up, vacuuming away happily when, out of the corner of my eye I saw a movement.  
Damn! I thought to myself.  
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded shaking his head at me.  
Smiling, I shrugged and just said, "oops."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**OH HUSH UP**

Reaching out beside me, I discovered the bed was empty. Feeling the spot where Tom should have been I realised he'd been up for a while because the sheets were cool. The smell of freshly brewed coffee drifted into the room just before he made an appearance in the doorway.  
"Good morning babe," I smiled, slowly stretching. "You're up early."  
He leaned down and kissed my forehead then stood, arms folded, frowning. "Exactly what did you get up to last night while I was gone?"  
Still half asleep, I looked up at him puzzled."What do you mean? I edited some photos, wrote...vacuumed, but you knew that."  
"What else?" he demanded.  
I could see where this was going and, rather than answer, buried my head under the pillow. He grabbed the pillow and pulled it off my head as he flicked the bed cover back exposing me.  
"Let's go," he said.  
"I'm not a child. Stop treating me like one and stop telling me what to do," I snapped back. " It's too early for this and I need coffee."  
He turned and left the room so I found a robe then joined him in the kitchen where he handed me a coffee. Smiling, I took the mug from him, "Thanks babe." Taking an appreciative sip, I sat on the stool and waited for the lecture I knew I was about to get. "Ok, get it over with. I've got coffee now."  
"Do you have any idea how frustrating you are? I love your independence darling, I really do but, you really need to stop doi...."  
I tuned out, having heard it all before. I love his voice but not when I'm on the receiving end of one of his lectures. The man can waffle on for ever.  
I started to smile as I had a thought. He stopped mid sentence, "You didn't!" he said.  
I started to laugh, "of course I did. You're nagging."  
"Darling," he said, "you really must stop mentally muzzling me when you don't like what I say."


	17. Water and Crisps plus Cake and Alcohol

"Have you got Bobby's harness?" I asked as I was about to close the door.  
"Yes, and Paddy's and their leashes, and water," he replied. "Just get in the car love. I've got it under control."  
Driving down to the dog park, Paddy and Bobby were standing on the back seat, heads out the window, tails wagging furiously with Tom and I laughing at how eager they were to get there.  
Pulling up, Tom helped me out the car then opened back door for the dogs. They both ran around the car, then us, then the car again, playing and wrestling with each other. Tom harnessed them and we walked for a while before I found a park bench to sit on and watch Tom throw a ball for them. After about 10 minutes I got some water out and called Bobby and Paddy over. They had a drink then sat panting at my feet.  
Tom came up to me, "Just going to get a drink at the shop. Do you want something?"  
"Just a bottle of water please," I answered.  
"Back in a minute," he said kissing the top of my head.  
As he started walking off, I called after him, " Can you get a bag of crisps too please?"  
I sat watching him walk away because, well, who wouldn't. He's a fine sight to watch.  
Returning, he opened the water and handed it to me. "Here you go love, and here's your crisps."  
"Thanks babe," I said offering the packet to him, "but I think you need to go back to the shop."  
"What for?" he asked.  
"I have no idea," I told him as he looked at me confused. " I just want to perve on your bum when you walk."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** CAKE AND ALCOHOL **

"My arm's going to fall off in a minute," I half laughed, half complained as Tom held the door open for me. I had a big bag over my shoulder with our haul from the local deli.  
"Well can you hurry your sweet little ass up and get in. I'm about to drop all this," he indicated the bottles he was balancing in his arms.  
We must have made a comical sight, neither of us able to walk properly due to the load we were carrying but too lazy to make multiple trips to lighten the load. Making it through to the kitchen, he dumped the bottles on the bench then took the bag from my shoulder.  
"Oh God that feels better," I groaned with relief. "You lazy bugger, you didn't even take your plate to the sink after breakfast," I nodded at the plate on the bench.  
"Sorry love but you didn't give me time. I'll fix it now," he said going to the bench. "What do you want done with these cakes?"  
"Um, just pop them in the cupboard for now. I'll get the serving tray out after," I replied surveying the mess.  
"Did you get the pepperdews?" he asked.  
Nodding, I indicated the bag on the bench, "Sure did, feta and marscapone. Luisa knew what you'd want anyway so, if anything's missing take it up with her. She told me 'I know what Mr Tom like, I fix it."  
"Do you think we've got enough?" he worried looking around.  
"Chris said he and the others are bringing stuff too babe, there's plenty. All the meat and seafood are in the fridge outside. Salads are in the fridge here. Don't stress," I assured him.  
"I'm not stressed, I just know how much those boys can eat," he laughed.  
Spying the bottle of red we'd opened last night, I asked, "What time us it?"  
He checked his watch, "almost 2.30, why?"  
"Let's have a drink before we start getting all this done," I suggested.  
"I love the way you think," he told me, kissing my cheek as he got the bottle and glasses.  
"So you love me for my mind?" I chuckled.  
"The rest of you isn't too bad either," he quipped.  
Cheeky bugger!!


	18. I Did What? and Just Wonderful

"Morning sunshine," I greeted the semi conscious body groaning beside me. "Come on, up you get. We need to leave soon."  
"Where you going?"he mumbled.  
"We, babe, we are going to the surgeon. I have my check up. Let's go."  
Sitting up, he groaned and grumbled, "Oh dear. Darling, I think I'm getting flu."  
Stifling a giggle I turned to him, serious look on my face, "oh no! What makes you think that?"  
He winced as he moved, "I'm aching from head to foot."  
"Don't suppose that could have anything to do with you, Chris, Liam and Luke wrestling last night? Or Liam throwing you in the pool? Or you tackling Luke for the last hot dog?"  
Scratching his head, deep frown on his face I could see him trying to remember what happened, "What? No! Don't be silly darling, we weren't that boisterous. I'm sure it's flu. I've even got a bit of a headache."  
"I'm sure you do," I chuckled. "It's called a hangover and I'm fairly certain the boys will all have your 'flu' too. Poor Gabriella is probably wondering what the hell she's let herself in for after last night. I don't think she's seen Liam let his hair down like that."  
Nodding, he said, "I remember Samantha telling Liam he was getting too old to be jumping off the trampoline into the pool and Luke telling her to let him find out the hard way."  
"Yes, well, he did. He banged his knee up on the fence but insisted he was fine. I'm sure he's feeling it this morning," I said.  
"I'll call them after and see how they all are," he told me.  
"Oh you won't need to. They're all still here. Don't you remember?" I asked.  
Frowning, I could see his brain ticking away before he shook his head, "No."  
"You hid everyone's keys. No one could leave because you wouldn't tell us where they were."  
"I did what?!" he exclaimed. "No. No way."  
"Oh but you did. I have no idea how you managed to get everyone's keys but you were very proud of yourself," I laughed.  
"Oh Lord, yes. I remember," he laughed. "They're all in next door's letterbox and, if I remember correctly, I told everyone I'd cook breakfast didn't I?"  
"Not just breakfast my love. A full English breakfast and guess what? They're holding you to it. Now, let's go."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** JUST WONDERFUL **

Walking into the kitchen, sheepish grin on his face he surveyed all the faces that had turned in his direction.  
"I believe I owe you all an apology,"he started to say but was quickly cut off by Chris who was rubbing his stomach.  
"Don't worry about the apology mate. You owe us breakfast."  
A chant went up around the room, "Breakfast. Breakfast. Breakfast," as the Hemsworth clan demanded to be fed.  
Holding his hands up Tom chuckled, "Yeah I get it you're hungry. Bad news though," pulling me close, he continued, "I have to take this lovely creature to the doctor."  
Elsa spoke up, "Actually, you don't. I'll take her, you can feed the troops."  
Turning to her with his most charming smile he said, "Thank you but, I don't want to put you out. I'm sure everyone unde..."  
"No, no, I insist," she replied as she winked at me.  
"Oh, well, um, if you're sure. Thank you...I think," he sighed.  
Liam, sitting with Luke's kids watching TV looked up, "Well come on then, in the kitchen, get to it. We're hungry aren't we kids?"  
Harper and Holly nodded while Ella and Alexandre went over to Tom and, taking a hand each, pushed him into the kitchen. Sasha and Tristan joined them, pushing Tom from behind while India laughed, "They want food Uncle Tom."  
Looking around, his eyes found mine and, grinning, he mouthed, 'help'. Laughing at him, I shook my head "sorry babe, you're on your own."  
"No you're not," he grinned, "you're not one bit sorry."  
I was still laughing "You're right," I told him. "I'm not. You got yourself into this mess. I'm off babe, see you soon."  
He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and, with a dramatic hand on the forehead said, "I'll be drowning in bacon, eggs, tomatoes and sausages when you get back."  
Elsa took me to the doctor who was happy with my progress and gave me some great news I couldn't wait to tell Tom.  
Arriving back home Elsa and I walked into the dining area to find everyone finishing up their food, fresh coffee on the table and the boys telling funny stories from the sets of different movies, much to the delight of the children.  
Tom jumped up when he saw us, "Darling, you're back!...early...damn."  
"Well that's charming," I said as I went to go in the kitchen.  
"No! Don't go..." he trailed off.  
"Bloody hell, what happened in here?" I gasped. Elsa popped her head over my shoulder and exclaimed, "Oh my goodness."  
There were egg shells in the sink and on the cupbaord, empty bread wrappers on the bench, paper from the bacon in the dish drainer, pans with egg stuck to it on the stove...a total disaster.  
"I meant to have it done before you got back." There was that sheepish grin. "I'll do it now," he sighed.  
"Before you do babe, I've got some great news that'll make your day so much better," I told him smiling.  
"Oh really? Great. I could use some good news before I tackle that," he said indicating the mess in the kitchen. "So, what's your great news?"  
"Only 4 more weeks on crutches."  
His shoulders dropped a little, "Oh. Great."  
"Save the sarcasm babe, that wasn't it. I'm allowed to drive again! Isn't that wonderful? You won't have to worry anymore."  
"Wonderful," he said dripping with sarcasm, putting his head in his hand. "I shan't worry at all."


	19. Busted Spying and I'm Not Bored

**BUSTED SPYING**

"I'd really rather you let me come with you," he said.  
"I'll be fine," I reasoned. "The doctor wouldn't have said I could drive if he didn't think I'd be fine."  
"He doesn't know you like I do though," he replied.  
"You really want to come watch me get my eyebrows waxed?" I asked.  
"Well, um..."  
"That's what I figured," I laughed, " incredibly exciting to watch, must see viewing."  
"OK, you win. Go on your own," he said. "Are you coming straight back?"  
"Well I'm hardly going to be cruising the shops with two bright red strips on my face now am I?" I asked rolling my eyes.  
"Alright well, just take it easy. Please," he pleaded.  
I got the keys, put my phone and cards in my pocket and hobbled out that door super quick just in case he changed his mind.  
Getting to the shops, I parked near the door the went inside checking out some clothing stores before heading down to get a coffee. Wandering around sipping my coffee, I checked the time. Best get moving. Cup in the bin, I was just about go inside the beauty salon when a hooded figure in sunglasses caught my attention. Cheeky bugger! He was trying to catch me out. Sneaking up behind him I tapped his shoulder, "Busted, now, care to explain yourself?"  
"Um, I was jogging?" he answered.  
"Yeah, I don't think so. Try again," I said, trying hard to suppress the giggle that was about break free.  
"Oh ok," he confessed with a sigh. " I was checking up on you."  
"And what did you find me doing? Exactly what I said I was doing," I replied giving him my best 'picture of innocence' face  
"Yes much to my surprise," he replied. "Alright darling, I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I'll see you at home."  
"So you should be, but I forgive you."  
Well, what he doesn't know won't hurt right?

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** I'M NOT BORED **

Fingers flying across the keyboard, empty coffee cup beside me and I'm 'in the zone.'  
Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind I hear footsteps approach and detect a shadowy form lurking in the doorway.  
Fingers still flying, I briefly glance up, "Babe, I need coffee. Please, please, bring coffee."  
He quietly approaches, hand grabbing the empty cup, " Darling, don't you think you've had en..."  
I put my hand up, cutting him off, "Don't even. Don't talk.. Please, coffee."  
Sighing deeply, he retreated, coffee cup in hand muttering to himself about being alone for hours.  
I was in the final stages of editing my story and it's not my favourite part of writing.  
He reappeared with the much needed coffee, dropped a kiss on top of my head then left me to it.  
2 hours later I emerged from my cave, empty cup in hand, and poured myself another coffee.  
"How many does that make?" he asked.  
I shrugged, "I lost count after 8."  
"Great, you'll be bouncing off the walls later."  
"I'm always bouncing off the walls," I told him giving him 'the look'.  
"How much more do you have to do love? I'm getting lonely without you," he said.  
"No you're not," I chuckled. "You're bored and want me to entertain you."  
He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times but no words came out.  
"What was that? Didn't quite hear you babe," I chuckled.  
"Not bored. Just...I can't find anything I want to do. I want to do something with you," he sulked.  
"Cheer up babe. I'm done. It's finished, posted, been put to bed."  
"Well done darling," he applauded smiling. "I'm proud of you. Now, how about you entertain me, I’m bored."


	20. Dinner, a bath and a book plus Wine, Nails and...

**Dinner, a bath and a book**

My sister had called unexpectedly and said we were having a girls afternoon. After spending so much time writing and editing yesterday, I wasn't sure how himself would feel about me abandoning him for a few hours. Much to my surprise, he was fine about it.  
"It'll be good for you to spend a bit of time together," he said. "You don't seem to spend as much time together as you used to."  
"That's because you're here all the time," I exclaimed.  
"You can still go out love. I don't mind," he assured me.  
"Yeah right. Look what happened last time. You followed me!"  
"Promise I won't this time. Besides, I know you'll do the right thing this time because Nat won't let you do anything silly," he told me, smug grin on his face.  
She picked me up and we had coffee then shopped. After a couple of hours she started to get a few text messages. Asking if her family wanted her home I said I thought we should get going. She told me things were fine and she was enjoying herself. After 3 hours and much stalling on her part, I asked what was going on. She assured me nothing was and said she'd take me home.  
I arrived home to Tom greeting me at the door.  
"Did you have fun love?" he asked. I nodded.  
"That's good. I missed you," he said pulling me in for a hug.  
"I missed you too. Babe, what's going on? What's that smell?" I asked.  
"Dinner," he said.  
Leading me through the house, we got to the dining room when he said, "close your eyes and for once in your life, don't argue."  
I looked at him, ready to argue but he shook his head, "please darling."  
Sighing, I nodded my head and closed my eyes.  
He scooped me up in his arms, carried me through the door, depositing me on a chair. The room was lit with candles and he'd placed a single red rose on the table in front of me.  
"Just sit while I bring dinner in," he instructed.  
Dinner was amazing. He poured the wine, then served roast chicken and roast vegetables before a chocolate mousse he'd made for dessert.  
"Come," he said leading me to the living room. ",Sit here for a minute. I'll call you when I'm ready."  
Puzzled as to what he was up to, I sat and waited. A couple of minutes later he called me. "Ok love, I'm ready. Come here."  
I walked up the hallway into our room. "Bathroom," he called.  
Walking into the bathroom I saw he'd run a bath, added bubbles and had a book.  
"What's all this for?" I asked. "What have you done wrong?"  
Laughing he said, "I haven't done anything love. I wanted to do some nice for you because you're always taking care of me. Now, hop in the bath."  
Spying the book he had, I smiled,"Is that The Red Necklace?"  
He nodded, "I thought I might read for you while you soak in the tub. Is that OK?"  
"It's more than ok babe. It's perfect," I told him as I lay back in the bath listening to his wonderful voice.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** WINE, NAILS AND ... **

"Thank you so much for tonight babe," I smiled lazily at him. "I feel very spoilt."  
"The night isn't over yet love. Are you ready to get out of the bath?" he asked.  
Nodding, "Yes, I'll wrinkle up soon," I said, checking my hands.  
He wrapped me in a fluffy towel and while I dried myself, he grabbed my robe.  
"I'll just leave this here. Meet me on the couch when you're done," he instructed, cupping my face and kissing me softly.  
Feeling wonderfully relaxed after my bath, I took my time drying off and moisturising. Putting my robe on, I went to the living room and sat on the couch.  
I heard a crash in the kitchen followed by Tom swearing and I called out, "You ok?"  
"Yes, I'm fine," he answered although I could still hear him swearing.  
Going to investigate, I had visions of last week's breakfast mess and cringed as I rounded the corner to the kitchen.  
"Wow!" I said startling him. "I don't believe it."  
Smiling, he said, " I remember you saying it's easy to clean as you go. So I did."  
Laughing at how proud he was of himself, I asked "What was the crash?"  
"I was trying to put the pan back on the hook and missed. I didn't break anything. Anyway, you're meant to be on the couch. Go." And he shooed me out.  
Returning to the living room, I curled up on the couch and, a couple of minutes later, was joined by Tom who was carrying a cheese plater. Putting it on the table he said he just had to go get the wine and glasses. Returning with a bottle of red, he poured us both a glass. Reaching for my feet, he started massaging them. "Can I paint your nails love?" he asked.  
"Sure, if you want to," I answered.  
He handed me the TV remote, " Here, you find something to watch while I do your nails."  
"Thank you for spoiling me," I said giving him a hug.  
"You're welcome love," he answered. "But I'm not finished yet."  
"Oh? What more could you have in store?" I questioned.  
"You'll find out soon love," he winked, eyes travelling up my legs. "You'll find out soon."


	21. A Slow Start on a Cold Morning and Brunch

**A SLOW START ON A COLD MORNING**

After a rather late night, we got off to a slow start this morning. I was going to make coffee but, when i got up I discovered it was freezing and decided the coffee could wait. Jumping back into bed a voice mumbled from somewhere under the covers, "Time is it?"  
"8.30 ish," I said. " And it's freezing."  
"Don't you dare put your cold feet on me," he told me as I moved closer to him.  
Smiling to myself, I put my cold feet on him, "But I'm really cold."  
"Good God, you're an ice block!" he squeaked as my feet hit his bare skin.  
"You're so warm," I said, snuggling close to him.  
"You just want me for my body," he chuckled.  
"At the moment, yes. I do." I agreed. "So, once it warms up, what do you want to do today?"  
Holding me close, despite my cold feet, "I'm taking you out for brunch," he told me.  
"Sounds nice," I murmured against his chest. "Where we going?"  
"It's a surprise," he teased. "But we should probably get up...soon."  
An hour and a half later we pulled up near a lake and he helped me out of the car, handed me my crutches and said, "wait here."  
Waiting, I watched the ducks swimming aroundband chasing each other.  
Tom came back and said, "ready?"  
"For what?" I asked.  
"Brunch," he replied, turning me as he pointed to an island in the middle of the lake. "We're going over there."  
"And we get there how, exactly?" I questioned.  
"In that," he said, nodding his head towards a little row boat. "Come on."  
Following him down to the grassy lake's edge, he lay my crutches down, picked me up and put me in the boat, handed me the crutches then got in.  
"Comfortable?" he asked, picking up the oars.  
"Very," I answered. "This is nice babe. Thank you."  
"Anything for you love," he said as he started rowing us towards the little island.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**BRUNCH**

After rowing for a couple of minutes, we reached the little island in the middle of the lake.  
"Sit tight darling," he said jumping out of the boat and pulling it up on the bank. "Right. Hand me the crutches."  
Passing them over to him, he lay them on the grass.  
"Ok love, now you. Give me your hand."  
Pulling me to my feet, he stood beside the boat and wrapped his arm around my waist to steady me.  
"Ready?"I asked. He nodded so I reached up, put my arms around his neck and, with him lifting and me hopping, landed perfectly on the bank.  
"Well done love," he grinned. "Right, let's go."  
Making our way across the grass to the cafè, I made a mental note to take some photos before we left. We were seated in a fairly private area surrounded by trees on two sides, a low brick wall on one side and an open view of the lake in front of us.  
Looking around, it was hard to believe we were 5 minutes from town.  
"Do you know what you want babe" I asked looking at the menu.  
"I'm thinking the breakfast casserole," he answered. "Have you decided?"  
"I think I'll have the quiche," I replied.  
"Actually, that sounds good. I think I'll get that too," he said.  
We chatted about various projects we wanted to do around the house, how good it had been to catch up with the Hemsworth clan and how he was missing his family.  
After we'd eaten we ordered coffee then I asked Tom if he'd mind if I took some photos of the lake.  
"Not at all love. Off you go. I'm just going to get a blueberry muffin."  
I spent about 5 minutes taking photos then made my way back to Tom who was enjoying the last of his muffin.  
"All done?" he asked.  
I nodded, "Yes, I got some nice shots of the lake, trees and foreshore."  
He stood ready to go, "I was thinking we could just drift around in the boat for a bit. What do you think?"  
"Sounds lovely," I answered.


	22. It's Not Important and A Very Cranky Mr H

**IT'S NOT IMPORTANT**

We'd been drifting around on the lake for nearly an hour enjoying the winter sun.  
"Anything you'd like to do love?" he asked.  
"I thought maybe we could go check out the farmers market," I suggested.  
Rowing back to shore, Tom helped me out the boat then we headed to the car. We wandered around the markets for a while, bought fresh baked bread and some fresh honey.  
"I'm starting to get tired," I said as I yawned.  
Tom chuckled, "Fresh air and sunshine will do that."  
"So does 3 hours sleep each night," I reminded him.  
"Let's go home, have a rest then head to the pub for dinner," he suggested.  
"Great idea," I agreed.  
As we were driving home I got a couple of text messages then my phone started to ring. Checking the caller I.D, I cancelled the call.  
"Who was that?" Tom asked.  
"It wasn't important," I answered.  
Tom shrugged and didn't question it any further.  
We got home and went to lay down for a while but must have both fallen asleep. Waking to the sound of my phone ringing, I grabbed it and my crutches and hobbled out of the room.  
By the time I went to answer it, it had stopped ringing. I was sending a text when a voice behind me said, "Who was that love?"  
Not turning around, I pocketed my phone and started towards the kitchen, "It's nothing. Would you like a cup of tea?"  
"I'll make it," he said.  
We drank our tea then I asked, "What time did you want to go to the pub?"  
"Now sounds good," he answered.  
We got to the pub and he went to the bar to get us a drink when my phone rang again. Leaving him at the bar, I took the call. After hanging up I turned around to see him leaning against the wall, "I suppose that's another of those unimportant calls, is it?" he asked.  
Nodding, I told him, "It's nothing, honestly. Did you want to get dinner or have your drink first?"  
My phone chimed the message tone as he went to answer me.  
"You'd better check and make sure it's nothing love. Wouldn't want you to miss anything important would we?" ....  
To Be Continued.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** A VERY CRANKY MR H  **

Muting my phone, I put it in my pocket. "I told you, it's nothing," I smiled as I walked over to him. "Come on. Let's go get dinner."  
He scowled but let me lead him to the bistro. Taking a seat we looked over the menu, both deciding on the steak and veg.  
After ordering he said, "I'm going to get another drink." He turned and started to walk away then stopped, "Do you want anything?" he asked.  
"Just a water," I replied. "I'll drive so you can drink."  
He simply nodded then went to the bar. While he was gone I quickly grabbed my phone and sent a text message, putting it back in my pocket just he came back.  
"I'm surprised you're not on your phone," he said putting my water down.  
"Oh for goodness sake! Get over it. I told you, it's nothing," I snapped. "If you're going to be moody all night I'm going home."  
Raising an eyebrow he asked, "Well what do you expect? Your phone has been going non stop for hours yet you say it's nothing. I'm not used to you hiding things from me."  
"I'm not hiding anything," I responded. " Honestly, if it was anything for you to worry about, I'd let you know. Can we please just enjoy dinner without the mood?"  
"I'm sorry love," he said. "I'm just not used to you being secretive and, to be honest, I'm going to miss you when I go back to work."  
"I'll miss you too but, with all the changes to shooting, you get to come home every night," I smiled reaching for his hand.  
After dinner I suggested another drink but he shook his head, "No, I really want to get you home and make up for my bad mood earlier."  
"Nothing to make up for babe. It's over, forgotten about," I said glancing at the time. "Let's just have one more."  
He agreed and excused himself to use the bathroom. As soon as he was out of sight I grabbed my phone and dialed.  
"Hi, it's me. Look I have to make this really quick. I've stalled as long as I can, are you here? . He's getting really suspici..." I trailed off as I heard his furious voice.  
"Not getting suspicious love. Is suspicious, very bloody suspicious and very bloody angry," he growled through gritted teeth.  
"...hurry," I spoke into the phone then hung up.  
He was seething with anger, " Are you going to tell me it's still nothing?" he demanded.  
Glancing over his shoulder, I breathed a sigh of relief.  
"I'm sorry babe." I told him, as I started smiling . " I hate it when you get cross with me and it was never my intention to upset you."  
"You think this is funn.." I put my finger to his lips to stop him talking.  
"Babe, turn around," I told him.  
He looked at me like I was crazy but did as I asked.  
Holding his arm I whispered, "Surprise."


	23. Surprise! and Sad News

**SURPRISE!**

Holding his arm I whispered, "Surprise!"  
His face was one of shocked delight and, for just a moment, he was speechless. He looked at me, smiled, then grabbed her, "Mum!" he exclaimed.  
Muffled laughter could be heard as Diana was enveloped in one of Tom's big bear hugs.  
"Hello son," she said, hugging him back.  
"How, when, where...um, wow," he stammered looking from his mum to me and back again.  
Smiling at the reunion between mother and son I took a couple of quick photos before Diana pulled me in for a hug.  
Tom looked across to me and asked, "Is this what all the secret calls and texts were about?"  
I nodded my head as Diana jumped in, "Yes and I heard you were very cross. You need to apologise to the poor girl."  
"It's ok Diana," I said. "He had every reason to be cranky. I probably would have been too if it was him being secretive."  
Tom came over to me and hugged me, "No you wouldn't because you're a reasonable person and would have trusted me. I'm sorry love, I should never have doubted you."  
Diana cut in, "No you shouldn't have but, what's done is done."  
Tom kissed me gently then said, "We'll talk later ok?"  
I nodded and suggested we head home and get Diana settled.  
"I can't believe you're here mum," Tom said walking with his arm around her. "When did you decide to come? Why didn't you say something? It's so good to see you, I've missed you."  
Diana took my hand and winked at me then, turning to Tom explained, "Well, I received a phone call saying you'd mentioned a couple of times that you were missing family and were worried about a certain someone overdoing it when you go back to work. So, I thought about it, made a phone call of my own," she paused at this point and hugged me, "and...here I am."  
"So, this was really all your doing?" Tom asked looking at me.  
I shrugged and Diana answered, "Yes it was. She was worried about you."  
Tom held me close, kissed the top of my head and said, "Thank you my love and I'm truly sorry I was such a jerk."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**SAD NEWS**

I thought long and hard before posting this story as it's actually very personal and deals with a death. I'm an advocate of mental health issues and believe we need to speak openly about mental health in order to remove the stigma attached to mental illness. I hope you don't find this story too upsetting. 

I was sitting in the kitchen nursing my second coffee of the morning when I heard Tom come in.

"Morning darling," he said coming up behind me bending to kiss my neck. "Coffee fresh?" he asked moving to get a mug then turning to me. "I thought we might take mum to the..." looking at my face, red rimmed swollen eyes, tears still streaming, he stopped mid sentence, put his coffee down and in two giant strides had me wrapped in his arms. "Not good news then?" he asked.

Shaking my head, I cried into his chest as he stroked my hair. "Oh love, I'm so sorry," he murmured against my hair.

I heard Diana's voice as the sliding door opened, "Good morning darlings, how are you this lovel..." she stopped mid sentence. "Dil?" she hesitantly spoke. "Dil, darling what's wrong?" she asked joining Tom in hugging me.

Tom spoke quietly, "Her friends husband has been missing for a couple of weeks. I think he's been found."

Diana and Tom hugged me until the tears stopped.

"I'm sorry," I apologised taking a mouthful of coffee. Diana handed me some tissues and I wiped my eyes and nose then hugged both of them.

"They... found him... last night in a... dam. He's gone," I spluttered.

"Oh Dil. I'm so sorry," Diana said.

"I'll be fine. Just the shock of it after two weeks of hoping he'd be ok," I said. "So, what are the plans for the day?"

Tom looked at his mum, "I was going to suggest we go to the Botanical Gardens but, we can leave it."

"No, we should still go," Diana said. " It'll be good for Dil to get out."

"Must you call her Dil?" Tom said to Diana.

"What's wrong with it?" Diana asked. "She is my daughter in law, I just shortened it."

"It's fine babe. I like it." I said smiling at Diana.

"See," Diana said smugly to Tom.

Tom stood behind me, arms loosely around my neck shaking his head at both of us.

"Right, well. Breakfast then we'll head off, yes?" Diana asked looking at Tom and I.

"I'm fine with coffee," I said.

Tom agreed, "Coffee's fine."

Diana looked at both of us, hands on hips, "I think not! I'll be cooking, you'll be eating."

"Yes ma'am," Tom and I chorused, giggling like a pair of school kids.

*Apologies for the sombre mood on this one everyone. I'll be back to pissing him off tomorrow 🙂😉

**Dedicated to my beautiful friend Leah who lost her husband, and her 3 young boys who have lost their daddy. Karl was found August 6th 2020. Rest In Peace Karl, you'll be much missed. 💔


	24. Botanical Gardens and Scolded by the Mother In Law

**BOTANICAL GARDENS**

"Eat up Dil," Diana ordered.  
"I can't eat another bite," I groaned. "I'll explode."  
Standing, Tom rubbed his stomach and took his plate to the dishwasher, "Thanks Mum, that was lovely." Turning to me he held his hand out, "Pass me your plate love, I'll put the dishwasher on before we go."  
"I can do that," Diana said trying to steer Tom out of the kitchen.  
"Mum, for God's sake," he chuckled. "Go get ready, I've got this."  
"Grab a jacket," I told Diana. "The weather can be quite unpredictable in the gardens."  
While she grabbed her jacket, Tom got ours and we met at the car.  
Diana caught Tom up on all the family gossip on the drive into the mountains.  
Arriving at the gardens, we found the weather to be quite pleasant. Grabbing my camera and crutches I started wandering along the pathway stopping to take photos along the way as Tom and Diana followed along behind.  
Diana stopped in front of a large map outlining the different paths and pointed to the rainforest trail. "Let's do that one," she said. "It might be a bit cooler there, I'm quite warm."  
Taking our time we strolled along the path until we came to a bench seat.  
"I might just sit for a minute if that's OK," I said.  
"You tired love?" Tom asked.  
Glancing at his mum then at him, I nodded. "I just thought we could sit."  
Taking a seat, we listened to the birds, watched a lizard scamper up a tree and heard water falling somewhere up ahead. As we were taking in the quiet, an older couple came along the trail and paused near where we were sitting. The woman was holding a walking stick and leaning quite heavily on the man's arm. Tom jumped up off the seat and offered it to the couple who gratefully accepted.  
Diana struck up a conversation with them while Tom had a bit of a look around.  
"Tom why don't you and Dil go on ahead for a bit while I rest here with these lovely people?" Diana suggested.  
"Are you up to it darling?" he asked.  
Nodding, I stood and we wandered along til we found a secluded pool of water.  
"It's beautiful!" I exclaimed as I sat on a rock at the water's edge.  
"We could go for a swim," Tom suggested.  
"Bit cool," I said. "Besides, we should get back to your mum."  
Tom chuckled, "She'll be fine. Come on."  
He can be very persuasive when he puts his mind to it and half an hour later, hair still wet, we made our way back to Diana who was still chatting to the older couple.  
"Ready mum?" Tom asked.  
"Would you mind terribly if Joan and James walk out with us?" she asked.  
We walked out in a group, Tom offering Joan his arm when he saw James struggling a little.  
"Enjoy your swim Dil?" Diana asked me.  
Blushing slightly I grinned, "Yes, thank you. I did."  
Diana laughed as she looked from me to Tom then back again, "He's definitely his father's son," she winked.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**SCOLDED BY THE MOTHER IN LAW**

"Are you sure you won't join us love?" Tom asked.  
"Are you ok Dil?" Diana questioned.  
"I'm fine. Honestly," I told a doubtful looking Diana. "Just a bit worn out after hobbling around the gardens. You guys go on. I'm just going to chill on the couch and watch a movie."  
"What are you going to do about dinner?" Diana asked. "Would you like us to bring something back?"  
"I'm really not hungry at the moment but I can make toast if I want something," I replied.  
"If you're sure," Tom said, arm around my waist.  
"I'm sure. Go, I'll be fine," I assured both of them.  
After they'd gone I relaxed on the couch for a while and watched a movie then decided to make a coffee. Heading into the kitchen, I went to turn the light on only to find the globe had blown.  
"Damn," I muttered to myself. Hobbling over to the stove, I reached up and turned the range hood light on but it was so dim I could barely see to make my coffee.  
Searching around I found a globe then went do the dining room and managed to half pull, half drag a chair into the kitchen. Balancing on my crutches, I took a big jump and landed in a squatting position on the chair. Congratulating myself on the move, I slowly stood up just as a voice rang out, "And what the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"  
I froze. "Um, I was, that is, I went to...bugger."  
"Bugger would be right," Diana chided. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing? Tom! Tom, get in here."  
Tom walked in, stopped, looked at me on the chair then to his mum who was standing with her hands on her hips, shaking her head at me."  
"Hello love. Care to explain?" he asked as he lifted me off the chair.  
"I wanted a coffee and the globe had blown. I was going to change it," I shrugged.  
Diana rounded on me, " Well I can see why Tom has concerns about leaving you when he goes back to work Dil. Of all the crazy things you could do...how did you manage to get up there? Do you realise the things that could gave gone wrong? What if you'd fallen? What if..." Diana continued ranting at me as Tom, drink in hand, calmly picked the chair up and took it back to the dining room, laughing at the scolding I was getting from his mum.  
Holding my hands up in surrender, I said to Diana, "Ok, I won't do it again. Promise."  
She walked off muttering about me being stubborn and independent when Tom walked back in.  
"Going to behave yourself now love?" he asked with a chuckle.


	25. A Quiet Day and Surprise Visitor

Quietly getting out of bed so I didn't wake Tom, I went to the kitchen and made a big pot of coffee. Given I'd been awake half the night with new story ideas running around in my head, I figured I was going to need lots of it. Turning my laptop on, I started writing. Totally immersed in the story playing out, I didn't hear Tom come into the kitchen.  
"Good morning beautiful," he greeted me, kissing the top of my head.  
Jumping, I gasped, "Holy shit."  
"Whoa, calm down love," he said, hugging me.  
"Sorry, you scared me," I replied " I didn't hear you come in."  
"You ok?" he asked. "You were very restless last night."  
Nodding, I'd already returned my attention to the laptop. "Fine, yeah, good," I answered, already distracted.  
I heard the door slide open and Diana entered, "Good morning darlings," she greeted.  
Tom jumped up and went to give his mum a hug, making tea for her and pouring himself coffee.  
Holding my cup up, I waved it around. "More please,"I said putting the cup down and going back to typing.  
"Morning Dil," Diana greeted.  
"Yep, need more," I responded.  
Chuckling, Tom said to Diana, "You'll have to excuse her. She's very single minded when the voices start."  
Puzzled expression on her face, Diana raised an eyebrow, "Voices?"  
Tom nodded, "Character voices, they talk to..."  
I cut in, "The characters talk to me, tell their own story and they can be very vocal. I know it sounds weird but that's how it happens," I shrugged.  
Tom bought the coffee over to me and sat down beside me. "May I?" he asked indicating the laptop.  
Nodding, I turned it slightly so he could see. Chuckling quietly to himself he read for a while then turned to me, "Now I understand what you were muttering about in your sleep love. It's quite funny."  
Taking the laptop back, I wrote for another 10 minutes then finished up for a bit.  
"So, what's the plan for the day?" I asked.  
Diana said, "I'd be happy to just have a quiet day if that's ok with both of you. Remember I'll be going out with Leonie and Craig later. We're staying in the city tonight and I'll be back around lunchtime tomorrow."  
"I thought we could get some gardening done darling," Tom said. " It's a bit overgrown out there. Then later tonight maybe we could play a game?"  
Looking up at him, I caught the wink. "Sure babe, sounds good," I replied with a smile.  
Chuckling to herself, Diana walked out of the room mumbling something about being born yesterday.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**SURPRISE VISITOR**

Hearing a noise in the kitchen, I went to investigate thinking maybe Diana had come back early.  
Walking through the door, I got met with a cheery greeting, "G'day gorgeous. "  
"Chris! What a lovely surprise. What are you doing here?" I asked, giving him a hug.  
"Making pancakes at the moment," he replied with a grin.  
"Your mum and dad are coming for lunch," I told him. "Yeah I was talking to mum last night. I've got a meeting this afternoon so thought I'd come down early, see you guys and mum, dad and Diana," he said.  
Grabbing a coffee, I sat down and watched him mixing the pancake batter.  
He paused and quietly asked, "Are you ok?"  
Nodding, I took a sip of coffee.  
"No, I mean really ok," he said. "I'm not prying and you can tell me to mind my business but, I put your clothes in the bin and well, you might want to wear a high necked shirt or put some make-up on," he said, looking at me as he pointed to the base of his neck.  
Reaching up, I touched my neck then went to look in the mirror. All along my collarbone was covered in bite marks and bruises. I guess games night was a little more competitive than I realised.  
Nodding, I said, "You know how he is. It's ok though, he's fine now, and yes, I'm really ok." I told him about the calls and texts and how Tom had been upset.  
"Why wouldn't you be ok love, and who are you talking to?" Tom asked rounding the corner and coming into the kitchen.  
"Hey mate, how are you?" Chris greeted Tom.  
"Chris! What a surprise. How are you?" Tom said giving Chris a hug.  
"I'm good mate. The olds are coming for lunch and I had a meeting in town later today, so thought I'd stop in and say g'day," Chris explained. "And cook you breakfast," he laughed.  
"Morning darling," Tom said, coming over to kiss me. Turning my face towards him for a kiss, I caught the look on his face when he saw my neck. "Oh my God love," he whispered. "Did I, he, I'm so sorry."  
Cupping his face in my hands, I kissed him gently on the lips, "I'm fine, ok?"  
"Are you sure, darling. Obviously I, he...I'm sorry," he trailed off.  
"Tom. Stop. I'm fine, babe," I reassured him. "Now, you boys catch up. I'm going to get cleaned up. Back soon."  
"Don't be long missy, pancakes are nearly done," Chris called after me.  
I could hear them laughing about Tom's efforts at breakfast a couple of weeks ago, then Chris saying he was a better cook than Tom followed by Tom protesting that he was hungover and on and on they went.  
Getting dressed, putting some make-up on and covering my neck, I rejoined the boys. Finishing our pancakes, I tidied the kitchen then brewed fresh coffee which we took outside and enjoyed in the winter sun.


	26. Family Lunch and Good Morning

"Oh good Lord you two, stop, please," I begged, holding my stomach and wiping tears of laughter from my eyes. "My stomach hurts from laughing."  
Sitting outside in the winter sun, Chris and Tom had spent the morning reminiscing about their days working together and I hadn't laughed so much in ages.  
"What time is it darling," Tom asked.  
Glancing at my watch, I jumped up. "Time to start organising lunch. They'll be here soon," I answered.  
Heading inside, Chris excused himself to use the bathroom.  
Tom came over to me and, holding my hands in his, pulled me close. "Have I told you how much I love you today?"  
"What, just today? You don't love me that much any other day?" I said trying to keep a straight face.  
Laughing, he kissed my hands. "Always the smart ass, darling aren't you?"  
"Well I try," I answered, pulling his head down so I could kiss him.  
Walking back into the room, Chris raised an eyebrow. "You two need a room or what? I thought you'd have got that out of your system after last night."  
Tom's eyes immediately went to my neck and his shoulders slumped.  
Giving a sigh, I looked first at Chris, then back to Tom. "Don't," I told him. "Just stop. Now, let's get ready for lunch."  
Chris, helping me get the salads ready, quietly said, "Sorry, I didn't think."  
"It's ok," I replied looking over to Tom who was getting the meat ready for the BBQ. "I'll talk to him later."  
Hearing a car pull up, Tom said, "I think they're here."  
Diana was first in the door, followed closely by Leonie and Craig.  
"Mum, Dad," Chris greeted his parents.  
"Happy birthday mate," Craig said hugging his son. Leonie gave them a couple of seconds then, chuckling, pushed her way in, "My turn," she said to Craig pushing him out the way.  
"Happy birthday darling," she said to Chris.  
Chris then turned to Diana, who was hugging Tom and I. "Diana," he said pulling her in for a hug. "Wonderful to see you."  
Leonie and Craig had come over to greet Tom and I and there were hugs and kisses all round.  
The next ten minutes were spent chatting about the show Diana, Leonie and Craig had seen last night and Chris's meeting this afternoon then, I suggested we all head outside where the boys were going to fire up the BBQ.  
Craig headed out with the boys while Diana and Leonie helped me get the salads out.  
"I've got a cake for Chris," Leonie said. "I'll just grab it out the car."  
Diana waited until Leonie was out of the room then turned to me, but I cut her off before she could say anything. "I know what you're going to say," I said quietly, going over to her. "I'm fine."  
Glancing at the scarf around my neck , she smiled, "I know you are Dil. I just want you to know, I understand. I've told you before, that boy is his father's son."  
We had a hug, then Leonie popped her head in to say she was taking the cake outside and asked if we were coming.  
Joining the others outside, Diana gave me another quick hug before going to Tom and hugging him.  
The next couple of hours were wonderful, filled with old friends, good food and much laughter.  
All too soon it was time to say goodbye to Chris, Craig and Leonie but we've made plans to catch up again soon.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**GOOD MORNING**

After an early night I woke feeling well rested. Stretching, I rolled over to find the bed empty and a note on his pillow. The note read, 'Good morning beautiful lady, meet me in the kitchen. T'  
Putting a robe on, I wandered into the kitchen and walked up behind him. Wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his back, I said,"Good morning babe."  
He turned, pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head, "Good morning darling. Did you sleep well?"  
"Mmmm, yes I did," I replied, standing on tiptoe to kiss him. "Coffee smells good," I said against his mouth.  
Chuckling, he shook his head and reluctantly let me go, "You and your coffee. Go on, sit. I'll bring it to you."  
"Can you pass me a saucer and the kitty milk please?" I asked.  
Bringing me a coffee, he kissed my hand then put a saucer of kitty milk down, "There you go love. Did you want some breakfast? I'm starving and thought bacon and eggs might be nice."  
Laughing I said, "You're always hungry in the morning. I might just have toast though, thanks. Is your mum up yet?"  
"Yes, she took a cup of tea with her. She should be back in soon. I might see if she wants breakfast," he answered going to the back door.  
"Jagger, here puss puss. Jagger, come on," I called out to the cat.  
As the cat jumped up to drink her kitty milk, Tom said, "Ah, here she comes now. Do you want breakfast Mum? I'm doing bacon and eggs."  
"Good morning Diana," I greeted as she came in.  
"Good morning Dil. Sleep well?" she asked then turned to Tom who was standing behind me, arms over my shoulders, "Just toast for me please."  
Tom moved to the other side of the bench to make room for her.  
"I slept very well thank you," I said, giving her a hug as she came to sit near me at the bench. "And did you sleep well?"  
"Like a man," she said chuckling.  
"Cheeky!" Tom said, smiling behind his coffee cup and reaching for my hand. "Oh, and as no one has asked me, yes I slept well, thank you."  
Letting my hand go, Tom cooked our toast, then finished cooking his breakfast and came to sit beside me to eat. Pulling his stool close to me so our legs touched, he leaned over and kissed me before eating. "Love you beautiful," he said.  
Diana got up from her seat and went to rinse her cup in the sink. "I might go and read for a little while, " she said giving me a knowing wink.


	27. You're In Trouble Later and Shopping With Mr Loki

**YOU'RE IN TROUBLE LATER**

"What time's this thing tonight?" I asked.

"Which part?" he questioned.

"All of it," I answered.

Looking up the details, he replied, "Cocktails at 7pm. Dinner at 7.30pm then I give my speech at 9pm. Why?"

"Shoes," I said wandering over to the couch to sit with Diana who was crocheting.

Looking quite puzzled, Tom questioned, "Shoes? What the hell do shoes have to do with anything?"

Diana, chuckled and shook her head, "Men! You just have no clue. If it's a long night - more comfortable shoes, if it's a shorter night - killer heels "

"See, your mum knows," I told him, smiling at Diana who was still chuckling.

"Why would you wear uncomfortable shoes," he asked, still looking puzzled.

"Because they look good," Diana and I answered together.

Shaking his head, he walked off muttering about women making no sense.

"I won't wait up tonight, Dil," Diana said. "Leonie's picking me up early in the morning. We're going to spend the morning getting our hair done."

"I would have taken you," I told her.

"I know you would but, I hope you don't mind, I don't get to see Leonie very often and they're heading home in a couple of days so, I thought I'd spend some more time with her."

"Of course I don't mind," I told her.

"Don't mind what?" Tom asked coming back into the room.

"I'm going out with Leonie in the morning. I won't wait up tonight," Diana answered.

We spent a couple of hours chatting, reading and relaxing then, while Tom and Diana played cards, I excused myself to shower and start getting ready.

Tom came in a while later, and while he showered, I dressed.

Coming out of the shower, he stood in the doorway and gave a low whistle. "You look stunning, my love," he said coming over to stand behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders and bending to kiss my neck.

"Thank you," I murmured leaning back against him. Memories of the last time he held me with my back against him came flooding in and I gave myself a mental shake. Turning to him, I said, " You better finished getting dressed or...um...you..."

"Problem love?" he asked, smirking as he stood shirtless in front of me.

"N..n..no," I stammered. "I'll, um, I, I'll leave you to dress," I said almost running out of the room.

Diana, sitting in the living room, looked up when I walked in, "you looking stunning dear. I love that choker you're wearing. Tom ready?"

"Thank you," I said. "He'll be along in a minute. Are you sure the choker looks ok? I've still got a few marks and I couldn't think of any other way to cover them."

"It looks fine," she assured me.

Hearing his footsteps, I turned, he winked, and I lost all rational thought. Even after all this time, he can still render me speechless. Finally finding my voice, I looked him up and down, "You're in trouble later."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** SHOPPING WITH MR LOKI **

My first thought as I opened my eyes was 'coffee.' Well actually, that's not quite true. My first thought was that I needed to pee, second thought was coffee. I'd just got out of bed when Tom rolled over and reached over to where I should be laying. Opening one eye, he looked up,"Where you going?" he mumbled.  
"Bathroom then to get coffee," I answered.  
"Come back to bed," he said lifting his head, squinting at me through one eye.  
"Nooooo, need coffee," I chuckled.  
"Spoil sport," he answered, rolling back over.  
After using the bathroom, I headed to the kitchen to put coffee on. As I walked through the doorway, Diana looked up smiling, "Good morning Dil. There's fresh coffee in the pot."  
"Morning and thank you," I said smiling at her as I filled my cup. Taking a mouthful, I closed my eyes and sighed, "Ahhhh."  
Chuckling she said, "Big night?"  
Eyes still closed, I shook my head, "No, not at all. We were home early. Sore muscles."  
Opening my eyes, I saw Diana smirk.  
"From dancing," I laughed looking at her sceptical face.  
"Dancing huh?" she questioned.  
Taking another sip of my coffee, I nodded.  
"If you say so," she chuckled. "I'll be leaving shortly. Oh, by the way, I picked your dress up and put it in the spare room."  
Looking up, I saw the sparkle in her eye.  
"Thank you," I said as we both started laughing.  
Joining us, Tom asked, "What are you two laughing about?"  
"Nothing babe," I said winking at Diana. "Just girl talk."  
Diana headed out with Leonie while Tom and I figured out what we were going to do with ourselves. Deciding to go shopping, we headed out.  
"Where to?" Tom asked.  
"Bookstore, deli, bakery," I answered.  
Walking around hand in hand, Tom suggested we grab a coffee. Finding a little cafe, we ordered our coffee then, while we were waiting, Tom was approached by a couple of kids.  
"Can we have a photo please Mr Loki?"  
"Yes, of course," he replied. "Darling would you mind?"  
Taking a few photos for them, I handed the phone back and smiled at the looks on their faces as Tom chatted with them for a bit.  
Finishing our coffee, we headed to the bookstore where Tom walked around and around pulling every second book off the shelf to look at.  
"While you pick your books, I'm just need to duck into a store I saw while we were having coffee. Back soon," I said heading to the exit.  
"What store? What? Darling?" he called after me.  
Pretending not to hear him, I headed out the door towards the lingerie shop I'd seen earlier. I was just about to enter the store when I just happened to turn and see Tom heading towards me, huge smike on his face.  
"Let's go shopping love," he said dragging me inside.


	28. Making Toby's Day and I Guess You're Stuck With Me

**MAKING TOBY'S DAY**

Leaving the lingerie store, finally, we made our way back to the bookstore. Selecting a few books for himself, Tom then followed me around while I selected a few for myself.  
"Is this all you want love," he asked, indicating the 3 books I'd asked him to carry.  
"That's it," I replied. "Anything else you want?"  
Raising his eyebrows and looking around, he smirked, "Well yes, there is but I'm..."  
"Oh stop," I laughed. "You're a bad, bad man Tom Hiddleston. Get your ass to the cashier and pay for the damn books."  
"Yes ma'am," he chuckled, giving a mock salute.  
Getting to the checkout, the cashier asked if he could get a photo. Tom, being the gentleman he is, looked over to me, "do you mind waiting love?"  
"Of course not," I answered smiling at the cashier. "What's your name?"  
"Toby," he said.  
"If you want to give me your phone Toby, I'll take the photo," I told him.  
I took a few photos for him, and Tom signed a few bookmarks. Chatting to him while we paid for the books, Toby shyly mentioned he had a Loki tattoo. Tom asked to see it and we ended up chatting to him for about 20 minutes.  
Leaving the store, Tom said, "How about another coffee?"  
"I'm good babe, but if you want one go get it. I'll just wait here."  
"Are your arms sore?" he asked.  
"Hands," I answered. "You go, I'll wait."  
Taking my hands in his, he kissed both my palms, "Can't have you with sore hands my love. I need those hands. "  
"You're such a sweethea..." I stopped mid sentence when I realised what he meant. "You're an asshole," I laughed as he went to get his coffee.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME**

Arriving back home after our shopping trip, Tom carried the bags inside. Diana had arrived home 10 minutes ago and was sitting with a cup of tea.  
  
"Hello darlings," she said as we walked in.  
  
"Hello mum," Tom said, greeting her with a hug and kiss.  
  
"Your hair looks fantastic, I love the silver," I said, hugging her.  
  
Self consciously touching her hair, she smiled, "Thank you Dil. I must say, I was a little unsure about the colour."  
  
"The colour looks great mum," Tom said.  
  
"There's tea in the pot if you'd like a cup," she said, indicating the teapot sitting on the bench.  
  
"I'll pass, I've just finished coffee," Tom told her, then turned to me, "Did you want a cup love?"  
  
"I'll get one in a minute," I answered. "I just want to go put these things away," I said holding up the bag from the lingerie shop.  
  
Tom's phone rang as I was hopping out of the room and he excused himself to take the call. Putting away the bras and knickers that I'd bought, I wondered if the sales assistant would respect our privacy and promise of repeat business, or whether the lure of social media gossip would prove too much. Shrugging, I figured there was little I could do either way and hopped back down the hallway to go and have a cup of tea.  
  
Just before entering the kitchen I could hear Tom and Diana speaking in low voices. As I went through the doorway, mother and son both looked up and stopped talking.  
  
"If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to go and have a little rest," Diana said. "Leonie and I walked quite a bit this morning."  
  
"Let's not make it obvious that I'm the topic of conversation then shall we?" I chuckled.  
  
"Sorry love," Tom said. "The phone call was to let me know pre production has started. We're expecting filming to start within the month."  
  
"Ah, that explains the hushed voices. When do you leave?" I asked.  
  
"I don't," he said smiling.  
  
Puzzled, I said, "I don't understand."  
  
"I'll be filming at the studios in town then they'll send it over and stitch it all together through the editing process. You're stuck with me love," he said running his hand through is hair as he shrugged.  
  
"So, why the hushed voices?" I asked.  
  
"I was just saying to mum that I wasn't sure if you'd be happy or not," he said. "I thought maybe you'd had enough of me and needed a break."  
  
I slumped my shoulders and said, "So I'm stuck with you?"  
  
Looking a bit unsure of himself he nodded, "Well, I have to start training pretty much right away, and there'll be meetings and stuff I have to go to but, yeah, you're stuck with me. Sorry love."  
  
I looked up at him with a grin, "I hope the sales assistant in the lingerie store can keep her mouth shut then because I figure I'll be visiting more often than I'd planned."


	29. Bizarre Dream and I'll Miss You

**BIZARRE DREAM**

"You awake my love?" Tom asked, putting his arm around me.  
  
"Sure am," I replied, rolling over to look at him. "How can you look so damn cute when you just wake up and I look like shit? Sleep well?" I asked.  
  
"You look beautiful when you wake up and not really," he said. " I had a bizzare dream."  
  
"Really? What was it about?" I asked.  
  
"I think going back to work and leaving you alone must be playing on my mind a bit," he said.  
  
"Oh, why?" I queeried.  
  
"Well, I dreamt Loki came here, to the house, and told me he 'wanted the mortal woman' and would take her by force if necessary."  
  
"I'm assuming I'm the mortal woman but where was he going to take me?" I asked.  
  
"No, not take you anywhere," he said. " I mean, 'take you' like..."  
  
"Ohhhhh," I said, realisation dawning on me.  
  
"Yeah, so anyway, Loki came here and tried to take you. I knew I had to save you and I kept telling him you were mine but he kept saying you weren't mine you were his and then he said he was going to take you and make me watch..." he trailed off.  
  
"Did I get a say in any of this?" I asked him.  
  
"You said you didn't care because it wouldn't be the first time Loki had taken you,"  
  
"Well, let's face it babe, it wouldn't be would it?" I laughed. "So anyway you didn't like the idea and you beat him to it?"  
  
"Yeah, how did you know?" he asked.  
  
"Well, he may not have been here but you followed through with what you were dreaming about," I told him.  
  
"I did what?" he asked.  
  
"You pinned me down in bed and..." I stopped and shrugged.  
  
"Yeah, I get it," he jumped in cutting me off from saying anything else. "Did I hurt you?" he asked.  
  
"Freaked me out a little, but no you didn't hurt me. If anything, once I realised you were asleep the whole time, I found it quite funny," I told him.  
  
Laying quietly, I could see him thinking about the dream trying to work out what he'd done exactly. "Did I....did you...was I..." he stammered.  
  
"You had a great time," I told him, trying to keep a straight face.  
  
"And you love? Did you..?"  
  
"You owe me one Hiddleston," I laughed.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**I'LL MISS YOU**

"I'm heading off for a run love. Back in a bit," he said kissing my cheek.

"Can't wait til I can come with you again," I replied putting my cheek up to him.

"Hopefully not too long now and you can start walking. See you soon. Oh, and don't let me forget I've got that Zoom meeting at 11am. Love you," he called over his shoulder as he headed out the door.

I put coffee on and was just filling the kettle when Diana came through the door.

"Good morning Dil," she greeted, coming over to give me a hug.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" I asked.

Nodding she replied, "I did. Tom looked happy just now."

Turning my back to get the tea out of the cupboard, I thought to myself, 'and so he should after our lie in' but said to Diana, "I think he's just happy at the prospect of working out and returning to work."

Putting the tea in the teapot, I poured the water in and pushed it across the counter then poured myself a coffee.

"When does he start back?" she asked.

"I'm not a hundred percent sure of the time frame, but he has a Zoom meeting this morning so we'll probably know more after that, and his workouts will be longer and more involved so, he'll be busier from now i guess," I answered.

"Will you miss him?" she questioned

I thought about it for a minute. I was looking forward to having some time to myself again so I could get back to writing without being interrupted every 10 minutes, but then thinking about it a little more, I'd miss those interruptions. I'd miss the spontaneous trips to get a coffee, going to brunch, the grocery store, all the little things we don't have time for when he's working.

Looking up at her I nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, I really am going to miss him."

"I'll miss you too," he said walking over to wrap his arms around me.

"Ewww Tom, you're sweating up a storm," I said trying to push him off me as he nuzzled my neck. "For God's sake, get off," I laughed.

"But you'll miss me," he chuckled.

"Of course you'd choose that minute to come back," I said, still trying to get him off me.

Diana, highly amused by the banter between us, took that moment to take her leave. "I'll leave you to clean up son. Dil, I was thinking maybe we could work out what you wanted to do with that garden bed by the pool. Come find me when you're ready."

"Will do," I said smiling at her.

"See you later mum," Tom called after her.

Pulling me to my feet, Tom wrapped me in a hug and kissed the top of my head, "Will you really miss me love?"

"Yes, but right now I'd love you to get off me. You're all sweaty and it's gross," I answered.

"Funny, you weren't complaining when I was sweating earlier," he said, winking as he walked off. "I'm going for a shower."

I swear that man is a born smart ass.


	30. The Realisation and Unsettled Times

**THE REALISATION**

Having showered and changed, Tom came back into the kitchen.  
"Do I get a kiss now I'm not all sweaty?" he asked grabbing me around the waist and pulling me off the stool I was sitting on. "I'm going to miss this," he said, bending down and kissing me lightly.  
"Mmm, my days will be far more productive," I chuckled as he rubbed his nose against mine. "Did you want breakfast?" I asked him.  
"I'll just have porridge and coffee," he answered.  
"You've got that meeting at 11 o'clock," I said. "I might go to the nursery and get some plants for that garden bed near the pool. Your mum's going to help me with it."  
"I wanted to help with tha..." he trailed off.  
"What's up?" I asked.  
"I just realised I won't have time for the little things we've been doing together," he said.  
"We'll figure it out. It's not like we haven't done it all before," I told him.  
"I know love, but we didn't know any different. We were both always working. Whether we like it or not, this is different. We've just spent 6 months together. Everyday. It's going to be..."  
"...fine. It's going to be fine," I cut in. "Have your breakfast."  
He'd just finished his coffee when his phone rang. Giving me a quick kiss on the forehead, he said, "Sorry love, I have to take this."  
Nodding, I put his cup and bowl in the dishwasher then  
went in search of Diana. "You busy?" I asked her.  
"No dear," she answered, opening the door of the granny flat we'd had built for her.  
"I was just going to go and get some plants for that garden bed near the pool. I could use some help if you're not doing anything," I said.  
Heading outside, we looked over the garden bed, discussing what plants would be hardy enough to withstand the sun and salt water splashes from the pool.  
"We should probably prepare the soil now so it's ready for planting," Diana said then looked at the crutches. "Or not," she chuckled.  
"If you can grab the tools, I can rake it over," I said.  
Between us we got it done, then Diana made us a sandwich for lunch and we headed to the nursery.  
We picked out the plants then I suggested we get a coffee and Diana readily agreed. We'd just sat down when I got a text message that I chose to ignore. Taking a sip of my coffee, I received another text and Diana said, "Did you want to check that?"  
Shaking my head, " Not really. It can wait."  
Diana smiled as my phone chimed again, " I think you should check that."  
Sighing I took my phone out and checked the text messages.  
It was Tom: 'I see you.'  
'Can I join you?'  
'Fine, be like that. Rude 😋'  
I turned to see him, coffee and script in hand doing his best to look pissed off.  
"Oh get over yourself," I laughed. "Come on, sit."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**UNSETTLED TIMES**

“Oh good, you’re up,” Tom said as I entered the kitchen.

Going up to hug him, I noticed he was sweaty. “Did you already go for your run? You must have been up early.”

“I’ve been waiting for you to get up so I could shower,” he called over his shoulder as he went up the hallway.

“Good morning darling, how are you this morning? Oh, I’m fine babe, thanks for asking. Did you sleep well love? Not great but I’ll live. Again, thanks for asking.” I muttered to myself in the kitchen.

“I’m not deaf,” he yelled back. “As I said, I’ve been waiting for you to get up so I could shower.”

“Why didn’t you use the other shower?” I asked as I hopped down the hallway to join him in our bedroom.

“Because all my clothes and toiletries are here,” he explained as if talking to a 5 year old. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m running late and I need to shower.”

Pulling a face at his retreating back, I hopped my way back to the kitchen, put coffee on and boiled the kettle ready for Diana. Looking at the living room, I sighed at the mess of papers, pens, blankets and cups. Hopping over, I picked up a cup and took it to the sink. Deciding to leave the rest for now, I poured my coffee then went to sit on the stool.

Halfway through my coffee, I heard Tom banging doors in the bedroom, “Where’s my blue sweatshirt?” he yelled down the hallway.

“Which one?” I asked. “You have about 10.”

Slam, went another door, “Nevermind,” he growled as the smell of his deodorant drifted down the hallway. “I’ve found one. Not the one I want, but it’ll do.”

“What the hell is your problem this morning?” I asked as he came back into the kitchen.

“I’m running late,” he said. “Don’t touch any of that,” pointing at the mess of papers on the coffee table. “I’ll need it later.”

“Can’t I put it in your office?” I asked. “That way you don’t have to worry about any of it getting lost.”

“Just leave it alone and none of it will get lost. I don’t want in my office at the moment. Gotta go,” he said, grabbing his bag and heading for the door.

“I don’t even get a kiss goodbye?” I called after him.

Sighing, he turned back, came over and gave me a quick peck on the lips. “See you later. I might be late.”

Diana chose that moment to come in. Sitting at the bench feeling very deflated, I again surveyed the mess in the living room.

“Morning Dil,” Diana greeted.

“Morning,” I said, swallowing the last of my coffee. “I boiled the kettle, tea’s in the pot, you just need to put the water in.”

“Thanks darling. Everything ok?” she asked.

Nodding, I replied, “Yeah, just settling back into the work routine. I’m just going to tidy this up a bit then after I get dressed, I thought I’d do that garden bed.”

Diana and I spent the day outside, working in the garden, planting and weeding. She made lunch for us in her granny flat so I hadn’t been in the house all day.

Going in to sort out dinner, I found Tom sitting in the living room, papers strewn all over the place.

“Hey babe, I didn’t know you were home,” I said as I walked in.

“Hello darling,” he said showing no signs of the bad mood from this morning. “Sorry about the mess, I’ll tidy it up a bit later.”

“How’s your day been?” I asked.

“Busy,” he said putting his papers down and coming up behind me to kiss my neck. “Missed you.”

“I missed you too,” I replied. “Your mum and I planted out that garden bed. It looks good. You should come see.”

“Maybe later,” he mumbled in between nips of my earlobe. “For now, I just want to …"

“Hello darling,” Diana called coming through the back door.

“Hi mum,” Tom said moving back to the mess of papers in the living room. “I hear you had a busy day.”

“We did,” she replied. “The gardens look great. You should come see.”

“Lead the way,” he said to her.

Returning a few minutes later, he said, “Garden looks great love. You did a good job, both of you.”

Sitting down on the couch, he picked up the script and highlighter and returned to marking changes. “What’s for dinner?” he asked looking up.

“Steak and veg,” Diana answered.

Nodding, he rested his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes, “I’ll probably have an early night. I have to be up early again."

We had dinner then Diana put the dishwasher on.

“Just going to take a quick shower,” he said.

“I’ll have one after you’re done,” I said to his retreating back.

“I think I might go have a shower too Dil,” Diana said. “I’ll come back in after.”

Wiping down the benches, I thought Tom would be just about done in the shower so headed up the hallway. Entering our room, there he was, sound asleep on the bed. I didn’t have the heart to wake him so covered him up, took a shower then went back to the living room to read.

“This bloody show better be worth it,” I muttered to myself tidying up all his papers.


	31. Do It Yourself and Making Up

After showering, I checked on Tom again but he was sound asleep snoring lightly. Going back to the living room, I picked up my book, then looked around at Tom’s papers strewn all over the place. Sighing, I started gathering them up and putting them in a neat pile.  
  
Diana came back in and looked around, “Where’s Tom?”  
  
“Asleep, he didn’t even make it into the shower,” I replied.  
  
“You’ll get in trouble for moving his papers,” she chuckled.  
  
Shrugging I said, “Probably, but I can’t stand them all over the place. I don’t know why he can’t just put them in the office.”  
  
Having tidied things up a bit, I picked my book up, turned to the page I’d been reading and proceeded to read the same paragraph 4 times, still not really taking the words in. Sighing, I put the book down.  
  
Diana looked up, “What’s wrong Dil? You’ve been out of sorts all day.”  
  
Smiling up at her, “Nothing, I’m fine. I think I’m just tired.”  
  
“How about we all have an early night?” she suggested. “Things always look better after a good night’s sleep.”  
  
“Sounds like a good idea,” I said, giving her a hug. “Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.”  
  
Turning back to me just before she closed the door, Diana smiled, “He loves you Dil, you’re his world.”  
  
“I love him too, so very much. Thank you, I needed to hear that,” I said.  
  
Going up to our room, I climbed into bed beside Tom who automatically rolled toward me and put his arm around me. Snuggling up beside him, I drifted off to sleep with everything seeming right in my world.  
  
I wasn’t sure if I was awake or dreaming, but I could feel a tugging on my leg then a weight on top of me.  
  
Trying to roll over, I soon realised I wasn’t dreaming. “Are you right?” I asked.  
  
“I would be if you’d keep still,” he said.  
  
“Are you seriously going to....nevermind, it appears you are. Go ahead, help yourself,” I mumbled.  
  
Less than a minute later, me laying there staring at him in disbelief, he got up and said, “I’m going for a run.”  
  
“Don’t mind me,” I snapped at his back as he walked out the door. “I’ll just go self-serve.”  
  
Hearing voices, I figured Diana was already up so I threw the bedclothes off, grabbed my robe and went to the kitchen.  
  
“Coffee’s ready Dil. I hope you don’t mind me saying so but, you look like hell this morning.”  
  
Pouring myself a coffee, I put the cup down and promptly burst into tears.  
  
“Oh darling,” Diana said coming over to give me a hug. “What’s going on?”  
  
“I don’t know,” I sniffled. “He’s up and down and round and round. One minute snapping my head off, the next minute trying to chew my neck to pieces. I don’t know whether he’s always been like this starting a job because I’ve always been working and never had time to notice it, and I hate that I can’t move about, and I miss him so much, and I hate that he’s tired, and that I never seem to see him and, and...”  
  
“Come on darling,” Diana said, guiding me to a stool and handing me my coffee. “I’m not making excuses for him but, you know he becomes single minded when it comes to work.”  
  
“I know, but...he’s such an asshole sometimes,” I chuckled reaching for a tissue to wipe my eyes. “And the son of a bitch, no offence intended, made me cry and I hate crying.”  
  
“No offence taken,” Diana laughed. “There, feeling better now.”  
  
Nodding I gave her a hug, then finished my coffee. Having finished her tea, Diana excused herself to go and get dressed.  
  
Finishing my coffee, I took my cup to the sink and rinsed it out and was just getting ready to head in for a shower when I heard the door. Looking up, I saw Tom come through the door, wary look on his face.  
  
“What’s for breakfast?” he asked.  
  
“Well as you seem to be into ‘help yourself’ at the moment, you can figure it out. I’m going for a shower,” I said as I grabbed the crutches and headed down the hallway, leaving him staring open mouthed at my back.  
  
“I haven’t got time for dramatics darling. Things to do, places to be, people to see,” he called after me.  
  
“That’s nice,” I said turning back. “But you might want to remember this. I’m not one of your lackeys, one of your yes men. They might think you’re a God and be willing to fall over themselves to do things for you but to me, you’re Tom. And at the moment you’re being a selfish, self centred asshole. Get your own damn breakfast, I’m going for a shower.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

** MAKING UP **

Sitting outside in the winter sun, I was thinking to myself, ‘This time a week ago, we were happy. We laughed, we joked, we made the poor girl in the lingerie shop blush.’

A lot can change in a week. I’ve hardly seen Tom the last couple of days. He’s gone before I get up, I assume running or working out, then he puts in an appearance very briefly before he either disappears into the office for hours at a time, or goes out. When we do see each other we hardly speak. It’s not that we’re arguing, we just quite literally hardly speak, like strangers living in the same house. I don’t know if it’s him, me, or maybe both.

Diana got an invite to visit with some friends who live out near the mountains and, as she’s probably heading home soon, decided to take them up on their offer and left yesterday morning. I don’t blame her for going. This is my home and even I don’t want to be here at the moment. She’s supposed to come back tomorrow afternoon but, if things are still like this, I think I might tell her to stay longer. I’ve booked myself in to attend a writer’s workshop tomorrow night so she’d be on her own for the night anyway probably.

I hurt. I don’t know how else to put it, I just hurt. I keep asking myself if it’s always been like this when he starts a new job, but I don’t know because I’ve always been working myself. Maybe it’s just me. I’m not used to sitting around doing nothing. Hopefully this afternoon I get the news I’ve been waiting on; I can start to use my leg again after 6 weeks. Tom was supposed to come with me but, I’m hesitant to ask because I don’t know what he’s got going on.

He still has all his papers strewn around the living room and it’s really bothering me. I don’t understand why he can’t take it all in the office, he spends enough time in there. But no, he sits in the living room and spreads everything everywhere knowing it drives me nuts. I think he just enjoys pissing me off.

Heading inside, I put spotify on and went to the kitchen to make a coffee. Looking around I saw the mess and felt the need to tidy it up. Careful not to mix things up, I gathered papers and stacked them neatly, then put all the pens and highlighters in a container and left them next to the papers.

Music is such a wonderful medium and can do so much to change a mood and before long I found myself singing along, loudly, and even attempting to do a bit of a dance on my crutches, laughing at myself and how uncoordinated I am. It’s different when I danced with Tom while on the crutches, he helped hold me up and turn me around.

Still singing, I turned around to go get my coffee and noticed him leaning against the wall, the hint of a smile on his face, “I haven’t heard you sing in so long,” he said so quietly I barely heard him.

“Hey,” I said softly. “Didn’t hear you come in.”

Watching the expression on his face harden, I waited for it. Nodding towards the stereo, he pushed himself off the wall, “I’m not surprised given the volume you’ve got that at. I could hardly hear myself think on the phone.” And, there it was, back to the new normal.

“Sorry,” I apologised. “I’ll turn it down.”

Walking over to the table, he looked down at the piles of papers I’d stacked up. “Didn’t I tell you not to touch them?”

“They were all over the place, I just tidied them up a bit,” I replied.

“Jesus is it too much to ask for things to be left where you put them so you can find what you want when you want it,” he ranted more to himself than at me.

Muttering to myself, “maybe if you didn’t leave your stuff laying around it wouldn’t happen.”

“What the hell are you muttering about?” he said.

“Nothing,” I calmly replied. “Nothing at all.”

“Where’s the highlighter I was using?” he snapped.

Taking a deep breath and counting to five before saying anything, I turned and asked, “Was it the yellow one?”

“No, it was pink with purple spots,” he quipped. “Of course it was the bloody yellow one. You saw me using it.”

“Jesus, alright. Calm down, I was only asking.” I snapped back, leaving him to it and heading to the kitchen.

“What the hell are you doing now?” he asked.

“Getting out of your way,” I answered.

“You can get back over here and help me look for the bloody pen,” he demanded.

“Ok, that’s it,” I stormed. “I get that you’re tired and stressed out but don’t take it out on me. It’s not my fault and it’s in the bloody container on the table with the rest of the pens and highlighters. Open your bloody eyes before you open your mouth.”

He looked down at the container on the table, “Just leave my stuff alone and be a good girl, keep the noise down, I’ve got phone calls to make.”

“You condescending assho...don’t speak to me like I’m a child,” I said, raising my voice. “I said I was sorry. You’re hardly ever home anymore so I thought I was fine.”

Looking at his watch, he went to walk away, “Just keep it down, I’ve got a call to make.”

“Guess, I’ll go on my own then,” I muttered. “Getting used to being on my own.”

Spinning on his heel, he glared at me, “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” he shouted. “It’s not like I’m doing nothing here you know. It’s called work, not that you’d know about that, we don’t all get to sit around and do noth...” he stopped himself from finishing the sentence.

“Go on,” I yelled. “Say it. You don’t get to sit around doing nothing like I do. Well screw you Hiddleston, it’s not my bloody choice to be doing nothing. I’d love to be back at work rather than putting up with you and your shit at the moment.”

Storming out of the room and heading for the office he stopped and turned around, “Don’t forget we’ve got that dinner to attend tomorrow night, hopefully you’ll be in a better mood. Make sure I have a tie to match whatever colour you’re wearing and if I don’t have one, I’d appreciate it if you could get me one,” he almost spat.

“What dinner?” I asked, “you didn’t tell me about any dinner. I’m going out tomorrow night.”

“Cancel your plans," he said. "I told you about the bloody dinner a couple of nights ago. I meant to tell you last week but it slipped my mind. Maybe if you listened occasionally...”

“You didn’t tell me about a dinner and I do listen,” I retorted. “I’ve got plans, go without me.”

“As my wife, you’re expected to be there,” he shouted, opening the office door.

Angry beyond words, I looked him straight in the eye and quietly said, “But I’m not your wife.”

Standing there glaring at each other, breathing heavily, he shook his head, “You can be a real bitch sometimes,” and with that he went into the office and slammed the door shut behind him.

Going to the door, I knocked, “Tom? Tom, can I come in? I’m sorry.”

“I’m on the phone,” came the cold reply.

…

Checking the time, I grabbed the keys and headed for the door. Getting into the car, I drove out of the driveway, tears rolling down my face. Deciding that, come hell or high water we were sorting this out tonight, I drove myself to the surgeon’s office for my check up.

The surgeon checked my knee, moving it this way and that, then gave me the news I was waiting for. I could get rid of the brace and start putting a little bit of weight on it. It meant I’d still need the crutches for a bit longer but I didn’t care, I was allowed to walk. Leaving the surgeons office, my first thought was to call Tom but, considering how we’d left things, I wasn’t sure that was such a great idea. I figured he’d see for himself when I got home anyway.

Arriving home, I saw that his car was gone and, feeling very deflated, I went inside. I fed Bobby and Paddy then wandered around the house not knowing what to do with myself. Unable to settle, I ran myself a bath hoping the warm water might calm me. After 10 minutes, I’d had enough and went to the kitchen to make some chamomile tea. Drinking the tea, I turned on the tv and channel surfed but nothing looked interesting so I turned it off again. I picked up my book and opened it, then sat staring at the words, not really reading them. Turning the laptop on, I thought I might write for a while, but after 3 minutes of sitting with a blank screen I gave up and pushed the laptop away. A couple of minutes later, still staring at the laptop sitting on the coffee table, the screensaver started. My screensaver is set to show a slideshow of all the photos I've got saved. Tom and I smiling at the beach, Tom and I smiling while bushwalking, Tom and I smiling at a café, Tom and I sitting on the floor near the Christmas tree kissing...ok, so this wasn’t a great idea. Not knowing what else to do with myself, I decided to go to bed. No point in staying up, God only knows what time he’d be home.

…

Going into the bedroom, I picked up one of his shirts and put it on. I’d started wearing his shirts simply so I could smell him, this was the 3rd night I’d gone to bed alone. Getting into bed, I tried reading again, but the words were just a jumble. Putting the book down, I looked over to his side of the bed, reached out and dragged his pillow to me and lay there hugging it. Inhaling deeply, I could still smell him. Putting my hand up, I grabbed my phone and typed a message, ‘Hey Boo. I miss you so much xx.’ Reading it twice, I deleted it, put my phone down, then picked the phone up, retyped the message and hit send before I could change my mind.

Turning out the light, I lay for a little while listening to the night noises around the house. The trees rustling in the breeze, a distant bark from somebody’s dog, Paddy or Bobby scratching, the gentle hum of the fridge and the soft ticking of the grandfather clock.

Snuggling down, still hugging Tom’s pillow, my eyes were getting heavy, and my heart felt a bit that way too. I missed him. I missed his stupid jokes, the sexual innuendo, the gentle touches. I missed pissing him off doing things I’m not supposed to, hell, I even missed him groping me at the most inappropriate times. A silent tear fell from the corner of my eye and landed on my pillow. ‘4 months tops’ I said to myself, ‘only 4 months and he’s finished filming.’ This time seemed extra tough, but I knew it would be after spending 6 months together.

I was hovering in that blissful state between consciousness and sleep, aware of the sounds around me but so close to sleep as to not care, when I heard a car. Fighting to stay awake, I listened for the key in the door but I was too far gone and sleep claimed me.

Waking, I looked at the time and discovered I’d only been asleep for half an hour. Rolling over, I settled myself back down on the pillow and was just about to close my eyes when my sleep fuddled brain registered there was a soft glow of light coming into our room. Rolling back over and squinting, I lay quietly listening for any sounds. Not hearing anything, I decided to go see why the light was on.

Barefoot, I made my way quietly down the hallway towards the living room. I knew I’d turned the light out so figured either Diana had come back early, which was highly unlikely, or Tom was home. Entering the living room, I saw him laid back on the chair, earphones in, eyes closed, looking absolutely wiped out.

Walking over to the chair, I slowly reached out and stroked his forehead. Eyes still closed, his hand reached for mine, holding it to his lips, “you should be sleeping love,” he said.

Leaning across the back of the chair, I kissed his forehead, “I’d rather be here with you.” Standing up and putting my hands on his shoulders, I started massaging them. “I’m sorry about this afternoon.”

Opening his eyes and sitting up a bit, he tilted his head back so he was looking at me, “Come here,” he said patting his lap.

Walking around to stand in front of him, he pulled me down in his lap, cradling me in his arms. “You have nothing to be sorry for. If anything, I should be thanking you for making me realise what a bastard I’ve been this week. I know it’s no excuse but with all the workouts, meetings, phone calls and costume fittings, it’s been hell. Then factor in the time difference issues we’re having, and it’s just been a royal shit show. But none of that is your fault.”

“No, it isn’t my fault and I wish you’d talked to me about what was going on. I’ve felt so isolated and lonely,” I explained. “Then there’s the mess you insisted on leaving behind. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t take it all to the office.”

“I wondered about that myself,” he said, “But I think I figured it out.”

“And what did you come up with?” I asked.

“I didn’t want you to forget I was here. Didn’t want you to forget why I wasn’t with you all the time. I know I don’t usually worry so much, but this time, with your leg,” he reached down and touched my leg, “you didn’t have work to keep you occupied and I felt guilty that I’d left you when you still needed me...not that you’ve ever needed me, but you know what I mean. I’ve missed hanging out with you, missed you, missed us. I guess it all just got to me and rather than talk about it, I bottled it all up.”

“I shouldn’t have let it go so....”

“Oh my God, your leg!” he exclaimed. “The brace, shit, I forgot. I’m so sorry.” Pulling me close to him, he buried his face in my hair.

“Do you want to know what the surgeon said?” I asked softly.

Keeping his face buried in my hair, he nodded.

“No brace, I can put some weight on it, but still need to use the crutches for a while until my muscles get used to being used again,” I told him.

He didn’t speak, merely nodded again and gave me a squeeze.

“Tom, what’s wrong? Look at me,” I said.

Slowly he looked up at me, tears in his eyes.

Wiping them away, I whispered, “Why are you crying?”

“Because I love you so much. Because I was so damn wrapped up in my own world, I lost sight of what’s important. You. You’re more important than any of this. Your crack about not being my wife hit a nerve and made me stop and think. I made a few calls this evening and said the endless 18 hour days have to stop. I don’t mind doing a few, but not day after day after day. I also owe you an apology about the dinner. I realised I hadn’t told you about it, I only thought I had. And, even though you’re not my wife as you so... lovingly... pointed out, and we will discuss it again at some point no matter how much you don’t want too, we do have to go. Now, how about you give me a kiss and let me show you how sorry I am.”

**The chapter titled 'Making Up Is The Best Part' available in Virtual Adventures of the Adult Kind follows on from this chapter if you're reading chronologically. 18+ only and please read all warnings.**


	32. All Is Good and Right plus Little Secrets

“I smell coffee,” I said, smiling as I lay in bed, eyes not even open yet. 

“I wasn’t sure how you’d be feeling this morning so thought I’d bring you one and let you ease into the day,” uncertainty in his voice. 

Opening my eyes, I sat up and took the coffee from him and placed it on the bedside table. “I’m fine. Actually, I’m more than fine. I’m great. Come, sit,” I said, patting the bed beside me. 

Looking at my legs, then up at me, then back down at my legs, he had a grin on his face and a sparkle in his eye, “Scooch over.” 

“God you’re so obvious,” I chuckled, rolling my eyes. 

Moving over on the bed for him, I took his coffee from him and placed it on the table beside mine. 

“Hey, I was drinking that,” he protested as I pulled his head down to mine, kissing him lightly on the lips. 

“I thought you’d have been gone by now. This is a nice surprise,” I told him 

“I’ve been for a run but, after the last few days, and then last night...” his smile told me where his mind was. 

“Yes, then last night what?” I asked. 

“What? Oh, yes,” he said. “Then last night I decided that I was going to say goodbye to you each morning before I go to work. Unfortunately, it might mean you get woken up early some mornings but, you can always go back to sleep. Incidentally, I’ve taken the morning off.” 

“I don’t mind. I’d rather be able to see you and say bye each morning. I missed that and, are you meant to be taking time off?” I asked. 

Shrugging, he replied, “I’ve just rescheduled. It’s not a big deal.” 

Handing him his cup, I took mine and we both sat quietly, caught up in our own thoughts, sipping our coffee. 

“I was going to call your mum and tell her to stay an extra night otherwise she’s going to be here by herself tonight because we’ve got that dinner. Do you think she’ll be ok with that?” I asked. 

“I don’t think she’ll mind. I can call her if you want.” he answered. 

“I just figured you’d be busy but I’m sure she’d love to talk to you. She missed you too,” I said, leaning against him. 

Finishing his coffee, he stood, “I’ll call her, and I’ll move all those papers out of the living room for you this morning.” 

Swallowing the last mouthful in my cup, I handed it to him then flicked the bedclothes back, “I don’t mind them being in the living room babe as long as they don’t get spread all over the place.” 

“I thought you hated them being in there,” he said. 

“I don’t hate it. I just don’t really like it, but I don’t want you to have to lock yourself away in the office all the time either,” I called over my shoulder as I went into the bathroom. 

“We’ll figure something out. I’m just taking the cups to the kitchen. You joining me?” he asked. 

“Just need a quick shower then I’ll be there,” I answered. 

Standing in the shower, smile on my face, I felt good. This was how things were meant to be. I’d had a decent night’s sleep curled up in Tom’s arms, woken to find him in a good mood, back to being himself. All was good and right in my world. 

Drying off, I got dressed and went to the living room where he was sitting with his diary open in front of him, flicking from page to page muttering to himself. 

Hearing the crutches, (can’t wait until they’re gone and I can sneak up on him again) he looked up, closed the diary and grabbed a piece of paper off the table shoving it in his pocket. 

“What you doing?” I asked, smile on my face as I went over to where he was sitting 

“Oh, uh, nothing. Nothing really, just, um, sorting out dates and meetings. Did you, um, did you want some breakfast?” he asked jumping up from the table diary in hand. 

“You’re a hopeless liar my darling,” I chuckled. 

“I know,” he laughed, putting the diary back down and pulling me to him for a hug. “But I can’t tell you. You’ll just have to trust me.” 

“Good thing, I do trust you then isn’t it?” I replied, wrapping my arms around his waist, hugging him back. 

“Right, let’s eat, then we’ll figure what do about this mess,” he said, sweeping his arm towards the piles of paper on the coffee table. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LITTLE SECRETS**

"Here's your toast love," Tom said. "Did you want more coffee?"

"Seriously? You ask me that?" I laughed.

"Yes, it was rather silly wasn't it," he chuckled. "You really should cut down." Noticing the look I gave him, he finished with, "...at least a little bit."

"Nice save and I have," I replied. "I'm down to about 8 cups. Anyway, can we not worry about my coffee consumption. Are you calling your mum or do you want me to call her?"

"I'll call her when I'm finished my coffee. Do you have any objections to me putting the cube shelf out here, it's got the little boxes in it that I can put all of that in," he pointed to the paper strewn all over the coffee table.

"No objection at all," I said. "Babe, I don't mind your stuff being out here if it means I get to spend time with you."

Turning me on the stool, he sat with his legs around mine and pulled me towards him, "That’s why I didn’t want it in the office, but I don’t want it to cause anymore problems. I still feel terri..." he trailed off as his phone rang. "It's mum," he said looking at it.

"Well, are you going to answer it or sit and look at it?" I asked.

Picking the phone up, he said, "Hi Mum, how are you?"

I couldn't hear what was being said but he was nodding his head. I can’t help but wonder why people do that, it’s not like the person on the other end of the phone can see.

"No, all good now." Listening, he nodded his head again. "Ok, hold on," he told her.

"She wants to go on loudspeaker," he said to me pushing the button. "Ok Mum, you're on speakerphone."

"Hello Dil, how are you?" she asked.

"I'm good," I replied, "hello, by the way. Are you having a good time?"

"That's why I called actually," she said. "I'm having a wonderful time but, they've closed the roads up here because of black ice so, I won't be home until tomorrow at the earliest."

Tom gave a little chuckle, "I was going to call you soon anyway Mum. We have to go out tonight and I was going to see if you wanted to stay another night up there so, it all worked out in the end."

"Wonderful darling," she said. "Well, I'll let you go and I'll hopefully see you tomorrow."

"Bye, take care," Tom and I both said as Diana ended the call.

"Much as I'd like to take advantage of the alone time," he said. "I think we'd better get this sorted, don't you?"

"I guess we should," I replied.

Putting the dishes in the dishwasher, Tom put another pot of coffee on while I wiped the bench down.

Finishing off the kitchen, Tom went to get the shelving for his papers and I went to our room, made the bed and cleaned my teeth. Hopping back down the hallway ready to help with the paperwork, I was almost in the living room when I heard him speaking quietly.

“..Yeah, great. No, that works for me. I can’t wait. What was that?” he was obviously listening to the person on the other end of the phone, and, not wanting to eavesdrop, I turned to hop back up to our room when he carried on his end of the conversation. “No, I shouldn’t have any trouble getting away. No, she doesn’t susp...”

I didn’t hear any more of the conversation as I’d reached our room. Waiting for a couple of minutes, I went back out to the living room where Tom was texting someone.

Looking up, he said, “Oh, um, hi. I didn’t realise you were here. How long have you been standing there?”

“Just now, but I heard you on the phone before when I was coming down the hallway,” I answered.

“It probably didn’t sound good,” he responded. “But I want you to know it’s not what it probably sounded like.”

Hopping up to him, kissed his cheek, “I trust you.”

Laughing, he looked at me, “Not even a little curious? A little jealous?

“Curious yes. Jealous, no. You know I don’t do jealous. Besides, you do jealousy enough for both of us. If you want me to know, you’ll tell me. I trust you, nothing more I can say. Now, are we sorting this out or not? I have a physiotherapy appointment this afternoon and you my love, have to go to work, then we both have this bloody dinner of yours to go to.”

Tidying up and sorting out his papers took us an hour then he got changed and headed to do whatever it is that he does, and I headed to the physiotherapist to start working on my knee. We met back at home, both of us it seemed, with secrets of our own. I knew he was up to something, he’s a hopeless liar, but, as I said to him, I trust him. I had my own little secret after my therapy session, but that was something I was going to surprise him with in a few days...right now, it was time to get dressed for this dinner.


	33. Bathtime and Away For The Weekend

**This chapter ties in with the chapter titled 'Bathtime (explicit) available in Virtual Adventures of the Adult Kind. 18+ only please and read all warnings.**

“I think I might go have a warm bath and see if it helps relax the muscles in my leg,” I said, giving him a quick hug as I went up the hallway.

“I’ll have a shower when you’re done,” he called behind me.

“I won’t be too long,” I promised.

Running a warm bath and adding some bubbles, I got in, lay back and let the water work it’s magic. Not having a lot of notice, and not really caring too much about it, I hadn’t decided on what to wear so while I was laying there I did a mental stocktake of my wardrobe. ‘Black full skirt, wide band, high waist, with... um, with what?’ I was thinking to myself. ‘Stilletos and...oh, Tom has a waistcoat that doesn't fit across his chest anymore, I’ll try that.’

I heard a noise, knew it was Tom and smiled, “I’m coming,” I said.

...

“Ca ou eed oee n aee” I yelled out, as I was swiping the lipstick across my top lip.

Tom stuck his head in the bathroom, looked at me and said, “I have absolutely no idea what you just said.”

Smacking my lips together, I turned and smiled, “You need to learn girl speak babe. Guarantee any woman knows what I just said. Can you feed Bobby and Paddy?”

“Already done love. We need to leave in about half an hour, will you be good to go?”

Checking my face in the mirror, I applied a light dusting of bronzer, turned to him nodding, “Just have to get dressed and grab shoes.”

Walking up behind me, he bent down and dropped a kiss on my neck, “You smell amazing.”

“Hands off Hiddleston,” I laughed as I ducked and stepped away from him. “Half an hour remember?”

“But my hands didn’t do anything,” he reasoned.

“Just keep your body there,” I said flicking my hands in his general direction. “And I’ll keep mine here and then we’ll stand a reasonable chance of getting out of here on time. Now, could you please pass me that skirt?”

Passing me the skirt, he sulked, “Well, if you’re not going to let me have any fun, I’ll go.”

“I’ll be out shortly,” I said, stepping into the skirt.

I finished dressing, flicked a comb through my hair and gave it a light spray, went in search of my heels and put my flats on my feet. No sense in torturing my feet any longer than necessary so I intended putting my heels on when we got there.

Tom had his back to me as I walked into the living room but I could see from his reflection in the sliding glass door that he was sipping scotch.

“Damn babe, you look gooddddd,” I said, walking up behind him.

Taking a sip of his scotch as he turned, I jumped back as he sprayed it everywhere.

“Bloody hell!” Tom exclaimed.

“Well, aren’t you just the charmer?” I laughed.

“Sorry love.” he choked out. "Is err, is that um, is that my waistcoat?”

Looking down at my chest, then back up at him, I screwed up my face, “Yeah, it is. I figure it doesn’t fit you anymore, you’re a lot broader in the chest now, so thought I could wear it. Do you mind?”

“Is there a...Are you wearing a shirt?” he asked.

“I wasn’t going to”, I replied. “But if you think I should, I can find one. I thought the lace on the camisole was enough to cover the girls. Or I can change. I just thought it looked kinda cool.”

“You look fabulous darling. I’ve just never seen that waistcoat filled out in quite that way before,” he smirked. “Ready to go?”

“Can you grab my shoes and jacket please? I can’t carry them and hop on these,” I said tucking the crutches under my arms.

Grabbing my jacket and shoes, he held the door open for me and we made our way out to the car. He kept glancing over at me as we drove to the restaurant.

“Is there a problem?” I asked.

“No, not at all,” he replied.

“Then keep your eyes on the road instead of on the..,” I laughed waving my hands in front of my chest.

…

Arriving at the restaurant he waited patiently while I changed shoes and put my jacket on, then as I went to walk away said, “Aren’t you forgetting something?” and handed me the crutches.

Taking them, and half walking/half hopping we went inside. Once inside we were shown through to the bar area and ended up separated as we were greeted by those already there. Feeling eyes on me, I looked up and sure enough, there he was, watching my every move. He held his hand up in a drinking motion and cocked an eyebrow at me. I nodded my response, and mouthed ‘yes please, bourbon.’

Going through the open doors out onto the terrace, I stood looking over the marina when Tom came up beside me, “Here’s your drink darling,” he said, handing me the glass. “You look absolutely stunning. Dinner is being served in about 10 minutes.”

“You look pretty damn good yourself. I’m just going to hide out here for a while,” I replied, sipping the bourbon.

We stood for a few minutes, him behind me arms around my shoulders, just staring out over the water. “Hey,” he said softly.

“Hmmm?” I murmured in reply.

“I just want you to know how much I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” I answered, leaning back against him watching the twinkling lights of the marina.

We heard the dinner announcement and, walking arm in arm, made our way inside. “We’re out of here as soon as we can politely make our escape,” he said giving me a gentle swat on the backside.

* * *

**AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND**

We woke to the sound of Tom’s phone ringing. Hand snaking out from under the cover, he tapped around on the bedside table, “H’lo,” he mumbled. “Mum?” 

I could hear Diana’s voice, but not what she was saying. 

“Sorry Mum, can you say that again. I just woke up.” Listening, nodding, Tom sat up. “No, no. It’s fine. We need to get up anyway. Bit of a late night.” Listening again. “What time.” Nodding. “Yeah, that’s fine. One of us will be there to get you.“ Nodding, listening. “Ok, I’ll see you then. Bye.” 

Laying on my stomach, I opened my eyes as Tom placed his phone back on the table. Looking over and seeing my eyes open, he said, “Sorry that woke you. Mum will be back early this afternoon. She’s catching the train so we’ll need to pick her up.” 

“I can get her if you want,” I told him as he lay down beside me, pulling me closer. 

“I have to go out this morning but I can get her on my way back home,” he answered. “Coffee?” 

Smiling, I looked at him, “Silly question.” 

Kissing my shoulder, then flicking the covers back, he laughed, “I know. I’ll have it ready in a couple of minutes. Do you want me to bring it in here for you?” 

“Tempting as it is to have you bring it back to me, I should get up. I need to tidy up a bit,” I replied as his phone rang again. 

Checking the call I.D he said, “I have to take this,” then literally ran out of the room. 

Stretching, I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom across a floor strewn with discarded clothing. After using the bathroom, splashing water on my face and combing my fingers through my hair, I went back to the bedroom and thought about picking everything up but decided coffee was far more important at this hour. 

Joining Tom in the kitchen, I poured coffee as he was ending his call. 

“Everything ok?” I asked, taking that all important first sip. “Ahhhh,” I said as the caffeine hit my system. 

“You and your coffee,” he chuckled, hugging me from behind. “Listen darling, that call was to let me know that I have to go away this weekend. I leave tomorrow morning and I’ll be back Monday.” 

“We didn’t have anything planned did we? Nothing I need to reorganise?” I asked. 

“Nothing I can think of,” he said. “I’m sorry it’s such short notice.” 

Back into the work routine, never knowing what to expect, I shrugged and turned to him, “Can’t be helped. I’ll hang with your mum before she heads home. I’m going to miss having her here. Has she said exactly when she’s going?” 

“Next week sometime is all she’s said,” he replied. 

Finishing our coffee then having a quick bite to eat, Tom went to get dressed and head to the studio for yet another costume fitting. 

I’d just finished picking up in our room when my phone rang, “Hello?” 

“Hey missy, how are you?” 

“Chris! How nice to hear from you,” I said. “I’m fine. How are you? How’s Elsa and the kids?” 

“Yeah, good, good,” he answered. “I tried calling Tom but got no answer.” 

“He had to go in for costume fittings,” I told him. “Is there something I can help with?” 

“I was going to see if you guys wanted to come up for the weekend. We’re having a bit of an informal get together with the family and thought you might like to join us.” 

Thoughts of Byron Bay and the beaches jumped into my head. It was beautiful up there, so relaxing, so pretty. “Damn, I would have loved to but Tom’s away for the weekend,” 

“Ah, bugger,” Chris said. “Is Diana still with you or has she headed home?” 

“She’s still here. We think she’s headed home sometime next week. She’s been visiting friends of hers up the mountain. She’ll be back this afternoon. Tom’s picking her up on his way home.” I answered. 

“Mum and Dad are going to be here too, would have been good for us to all catch up again before she left. Why don’t you and Diana come up? We’d love to have you,” he said. 

“I’m not sure if I could Chris. I’ve got Bobby and Paddy and I’m not sure if I could get them into the kennels at such short notice,” I pondered. 

“Bring them. They’ll be fine.” 

“Are you sure?” I asked. “I have to be honest, I’d love to come up. The thought of hanging around here for 4 days without Tom isn’t really that appealing.” 

“It’s settled then. You’ll come up,” he said. 

Laughing, I replied, “I’ll just double check there’s nothing Tom needs me to do but, yes, I’d love to come up and I’m sure Diana would love to see you.” 

“You’ll be up...?” 

“Tom leaves in the morning, so anytime really,” I said. 

“Great, so we’ll see you early tomorrow afternoon then,” he said ringing off. 

Checking the time, I figured I still had a couple of hours before Tom and Diana would be back. Poor Diana, she’d no sooner get back and I’d be dragging her away again, although I doubt she’d mind, she liked Chris and his family. 

Deciding not to pack until I’d confirmed with Tom that there was definitely nothing he needed done over the weekend, I put the stereo on and started doing some housework. It was so nice to be able to move about without those bloody crutches. That was my surprise for Tom. I’d been given the all clear to start using my leg bit by bit until I was comfortable enough to put all my weight on it. The exercises I’d been given had helped immensely and I was quite comfortable without the crutches, even if I did still have a bit of a limp. 

Having tidied up the living room and cleaned the kitchen, I got the vacuum cleaner out. Turning the music up to drown out the sound, I started running the vacuum over the floor, moving furniture so I could clean underneath and around it properly. I was having a wonderful time. Each time I had to stop to move furniture, I’d have a bit of a dance around the place, singing out loud, feeling better than I had in ages. 

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing? Do you never learn, never do as your told?” I heard Tom roar over the music. 

Jumping, I dropped the hose of the vacuum and put my hands on my chest, “Jesus Christ, you scared the hell out of me.” 

Turning the music down, glaring at me, “Would you care to tell me what the bloody hell you think you’re doing?” pointing to the crutches that were leaning against the kitchen bench then to me at the other end of the living room. 

“Hi Diana,” I greeted as she walked in. 

“Hi Dil, you in trouble again?” she chuckled. 

“Always, it seems,” I replied, then turning to Tom. “It’s not exactly the way I had hoped to tell you but..surprise, I don’t have to use them around here anymore.” 

“You don’t?” he questioned, big smile on his face. “Darling, that’s wonderful.” 

We caught up on Diana’s trip and Tom’s morning then I mentioned the call from Chris. 

“Was there anything you needed done here babe? I’d love to go up and see them all and it beats sitting around here all weekend without you,” I said, then looked at Diana grinning, “No offence meant.” 

She laughed, “None taken Dil. I’d love to go too actually.” 

“Enjoy yourselves,” he said. “I would have loved to come but we’ve found a location we might be able to use for some of the outdoor shoot and we need to screen test it, so I need to be there.” 

Giving Chris a quick call, I confirmed that Diana and I would be coming up, then handed the phone to Tom. 

“No mate, I can’t. Location testing unfortunately, looks like we’ve got the perfect spot. Look after my girls for me. Take care, talk later.” 

We all went off to our respective rooms and packed what we’d be needing for the few days we’d be away. 

“Any chance you can drop me at the airport in the morning or would you rather me get a cab?’ he asked. 

“We can drop you on the way,” I told him. “I’m actually looking forward to the weekend now.” 

“I’m jealous,” he said pulling me into his arms and hugging me tightly. “Don’t get any ideas about running off with any of the locals.” 

“You’re more than enough for me to handle thanks,” I said, chuckling and attempting to twist my way out of his grip as he decided to brand my neck. 

Looking at his handiwork, he gave a self satisfied smile, “All mine.” 


	34. Weekend At Byron Bay

After we’d all finished packing for the weekend, I had to get Bobby and Paddy organised. Tom got their travel crates out for me and we put them in the back of my car, adding blankets and water bottles for the trip. I’d give them a very light feed in the morning then get more food for them once we got there.

The three of us had a simple dinner together, then Diana excused herself saying she wanted to get an early night as we were leaving early the next morning.

“Do you want me to call you over the weekend darling?” he asked. “Or will you be too busy to miss me?”

“No, I want you to call. I’ll definitely miss you, although probably not as much as I would if I stayed here,” I answered with a cheeky grin.

“I shall be very jealous of you sitting on the beach with your coffee watching the sun come up,” he said.

We sat together on the couch, both of us caught up in our own thoughts. Tom was stroking the back of my hand absently, me with my head leaning against his shoulder.

“Do you remember that time we went to watch the sunrise only to find it was all cloudy on the horizon?” I asked.

“Mmmm, yeah and then the clouds parted just in time for us to see the sun come up. It was absolutely magical.” he replied. “It was stunning. Or what about the time you spent an hour crouched down on your knees in the sand waiting for the wave to splash in front of the sun,” he remembered. “I’ve never seen you so patient. That was a beautiful sunrise too.”

“Are you saying I’m not patient?” I asked, tongue in cheek.

“Well, it’s not your strongest trait is it?” he chuckled, standing up and holding his hand out to me. “You ready for bed? We’ve got an early start.”

…

The next morning after a quick coffee, we got the dogs into their crates and loaded our bags.

Giving Diana a hug, Tom said, “Sorry I won’t get to spend much time with you before you go. Maybe we can talk you into staying a little longer? I feel like we haven’t really done much this trip. Look after my girl for me?”

Hugging him back, Diana said, “We’ll talk about dates later. You go and do what you need to, I’ll look after her.”

Coming over to me, he took me in his arms and held me close, “I wish I was coming with you. I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” I told him raising my face for his kiss.

Tom drove to the airport, then after a hug and a kiss, Diana and I got back in the care and headed out to the highway for the drive up to Byron Bay. We stopped a couple of times to give Bobby and Paddy some water, and to get a coffee for ourselves. Checking my phone, I found Tom had sent a photo of himself getting on the plane and a couple of messages, one asking where we were and one saying he wished he was with us.

After a rather uneventful trip, we pulled into Chris’s place mid afternoon, unloaded the car and let the dogs have a bit of a run.

I sent Tom a message to let him know we’d arrived and received one back thanking me for letting him know, and that service was a bit sketchy where he was so not to worry if I didn’t hear from him very often.

“You’ll be staying in your usual room,” Chris told me, “and Diana, if you want to come with me, I’ll show you to your room.”

While Chris settled Diana, I went to the rooms Tom and I usually stayed in and threw my bag on the bed. It felt a bit strange being here without him. Wondering what he was doing, I unpacked then went in search of a coffee.

Elsa was in the huge open plan kitchen/diner/family room, laptop open, calendar on the bench and notepad with dates written and crossed out.

“Coffee?” she asked coming around the bench to hug me.

“Please,” I answered hugging her back.

Handing me the coffee, she turned to Chris who was shoveling chocolate cake into his mouth, “Ask her.”

“Ask me what?” I said.

“Do you know Tom’s filming schedule by any chance?” he asked, wiping his mouth.

“Wouldn’t have a clue at this point,” I answered. “Why?”

“We want you to....” he trailed off as we were suddenly surrounded by kids, dogs and adults streaming in from outside. The noise level grew dramatically as there were hugs, kisses and greetings all round.

After a couple of minutes, Chris raised his voice, “Hey! Guys! Can we settle it down just for a minute. I’ve got something I want to say.

Slowly the room began to quieten down and Chris continued, “While we’re all here together I want to ask all of you to keep the second weekend in December free. This lovely lady here,” he said, pulling Elsa close to him, “and I have been married for 10 years this year and we want you all to join us in celebration as we renew our vows.”

There was a big cheer went up and phones were pulled out as the date was noted in calendars.

“Diana, we realise you’ll be going home before then but, if there’s any chance you could make it back, we’d be honoured to have you here,” Chris said, giving Diana a squeeze.

“I’ll see what I can do,” she replied. “But no promises.”

Someone shouted out, “Get that son of yours to propose Diana, and we can have a double wedding.”

Smiling along with everyone else, but feeling really uncomfortable, I waited for Diana’s response. Always tactful, she smiled sweetly, “I’m sure he wouldn’t want to take anything away from Chris and Elsa celebrating their special day.” Looking over to me she gave a little wink and smiled a reassuring smile.

Feeling the need to have some time away from everyone, I excused myself and said I was going to take a walk along the beach.

Looking up, Chris asked, “Would you mind some company or would you prefer to be alone?”

“I don’t mind some company,” I replied as my phone chimed. Looking at the screen, I saw it was a message from Tom. ‘I bet you’re at the beach already. Better view than mine, I’ll bet.’ it read and was accompanied by a photo that he’d taken out of the plane window showing open fields and masses of gum trees.

I responded with, ‘Chris and I just heading down now. Miss you.’

Walking along the beach with Chris I congratulated him on his upcoming vow renewal, “Are you going to renew your vows on the beach?” I asked.

“Probably just there,” he said, pointing to a spot where the grass and sand met, ocean making the perfect backdrop. “We’re just having family and a few close friends...and hoping to avoid the media circus. I know the locals here won’t say anything, they’re very protective.”

“Well, I’ll definitely be here but, I can’t speak for Tom. You know what he’s like, work before anything,” I said with a wry smile.

"That’s not true,” Chris said. “You’re more important to him than his work.”

“Hmm, I’m not so sure sometimes. But anyway, I’m looking forward to celebrating with you and Elsa,” I told him.

“Is that why you won’t marry him?” Chris blurted out.

“Tell me to mind my own business if you want. It’s just...I know he’s asked, and I know you’ve said no. I’m just curious I guess. Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

Walking side by side, I stopped and turned to him, “I just don’t think it’s a good career move for him.”

Looking out over the water, I watched a couple of surfers paddle to catch a wave.

Chris came and stood beside me, “That’s bullshit missy,” he said.

“It’s not,” I answered, shrugging. “I just think, for the sake of his career he’s better off staying single. I don’t how the fans would feel if he was married and I don’t want to jeopardise his popularity by marrying him.”

Chris left it alone for all of 30 seconds before he spoke again, “The fans accepted you into his life many years ago. They all think you guys are married anyway so I’m not buying that as an excuse. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I’m not trying to pry, I’m genuinely curious. Most women would jump at the chance, yet here you are, two proposals turned down flat.”

“Three,” I said quietly.

Turning to me, he looked down, “Ok, three then. Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Let’s just walk yeah?”

Taking a step backwards, I looked up at him, “I’m scared.”

“Of Tom?” Chris said rather incredulously.

Shaking my head, I chuckled, “God no, he’d never hurt me intentionally. He’s the most kind hearted, warm, loving, loyal, wonderful human being I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. I love with him with everything I have and everything I am.”

“Then what is it?” Chris asked.

Taking a deep breath, then exhaling I admitted, “I’m scared of changing things and messing it up. We have a wonderful relationship now. It’s not perfect, no-one's is, but it’s pretty damn good. What if getting married changes that? I know people who’d been together years, got married and split up within 6 months. I don’t want that to happen. Easier to just leave things as they are, nothing changes. I can’t bear the thought of not having him in my life. He is my life.”

Chris seemed to consider this for a while then turned to me, “Does Tom know?”

Shaking my head, I stood looking out over the ocean, “No. He thinks it’s because I have absolutely no desire to get married, which, I hasten to add, is the truth for the reason I just told you.”

“If you were guaranteed that nothing would change, do you think you’d get married?” Chris asked.

“No,” I replied immediately. “Unlikely, possibly. I don’t know, maybe. It scares me too much to really consider it.”

“Talk to him missy,” Chris said putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me to his side. “Doesn’t he deserve to know why? He’s like another brother to me and I know how much you mean to him. He’s happy living with you but he’d love the ultimate commitment from you. A part of him is scared you’re going to leave him again and he sees marriage as a way of you saying you’re not going to. I just want you both to be happy. Marriage is the best thing that happened to me. Elsa and I don’t always see eye to eye, but we work at it. Seriously, it’s no different to how you live your lives now.”

“He knows why I left him, and that was years ago. I’m not leaving him and I try not to raise the subject of marriage because, well because I’m so scared something will change,” I shrugged. “I know you probably find it silly but, that’s just the way it is for me, and if it’s no different to the way our lives are now, why change it? Can we walk for a bit now? I have to go into town and get some dog food soon.”

“Hint taken,” he said, giving me a quick kiss on top of the head, “I shouldn’t have brought it up. We’ve got dog food here so, unless you really want to go out, just give them what we have. So, how’s things anyway?”

Chris and I wandered along the beach chatting, comfortable in each other’s company for another 20 minutes before returning back to the house.

Going in search of Diana, I found her resting in her room.

“Bit tired?” I asked standing in the doorway.

“A little," she replied. “Come, sit with me. Did you enjoy your walk?”

Nodding, I looked around the room, “I love it here. Feels strange without Tom though.”

Looking at me, Diana asked, “What is it Dil? What’s wrong.”

Shrugging, I turned away, horrified that I had tears about to spill over, “I don’t know. That stupid fight we had earlier in the week maybe. Being away from him now. That silly remark about getting him to propose. I really don’t know. Everything, nothing,” I sniffled.

“I don’t know what happened with the argument you had, I don’t want to know, that’s between you and Tom, but I do know this: My son loves you with every fibre of his being and it would have hurt him as much as it hurt you when things weren’t good between you. Maybe this weekend apart will be good for you. I know you haven’t seen a lot of each other with him at work but, this is different. You’re not sitting waiting for him.”

“Maybe that’s what it is, I’m so used to him being with me that I’ve forgotten how to function without him. God, that can’t be healthy. I need to snap out of it,” I said with a chuckle, leaning in and giving Diana a hug.

“Thank you. Are you coming out to join us?” I asked as my phone started ringing. Checking the call I.D I saw it was Tom. Big smile on my face, I looked at Diana, “It’s Tom, will you excuse me?”

“Off you go,” she said, patting my arm.

“Hey you,” I answered. “How you doing?”

“Missing you,” he replied.

“I miss you,” I said. “It’s not the same being here without you. Don’t get me wrong, it’s as beautiful as it always is but, it’s just not the same.”

“How was the beach? Did you go for a walk yet?” he asked.

“Yeah, Chris came with me. We walked for about half an hour. Your mum had a rest, she was a bit tired after the trip. Oh, while I think of it. Can you keep the second week in December free if possible?”

“I can try. What are we doing?” he asked.

“It’s Chris and Elsa’s 10th wedding anniversary at Christmas and they’re going to renew their vows 2nd weekend in December. They want us to come. I said I’d definitely be here but couldn’t speak for you because it was dependent on work. They invited Diana too,” I told him.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said. “Are you ok darling? You sound a little bit down.”

“I’m fine, I just miss you,” I answered. “So, how’s things with you? Where are you?”

“Things are fine, a bit bori....sorry love, hold on,” he said.

I could hear muffled voices in the background, then Tom’s voice rumbling. I figured he must have been holding the phone against his chest. The muffled sound cleared and he was back on the line....”Sorry darling, I’m going to have to go. I’ll try and call you later. I love you.”

“I love...” but the line had gone dead. “...you too,” I finished, looking at the phone screen. After sending off a text message saying ‘I love you too’ I wandered back out to the living room and joined the madness that is the Hemsworth family.

Joining Elsa in the kitchen I helped her get salads ready while we refereed a friendly argument between Chris and Luke about which one of them was the better bbq chef.

“Last time you cooked we had charcoal,” Chris said to Luke.

Luke fired back, “Charcoal? Charcoal? It wasn’t charcoal, it was caramelised.”

“That wasn’t caramelised, it was burnt beyond all recogn...”

Elsa held her hands up laughing, “Out. Out. Go. Both of you, out now.”

Luke and Chris left the kitchen, still arguing about burnt versus caramelised as they headed outside. Finishing off the salads, we put them back in the fridge ready for dinner a bit later.

Walking outside, I stood looking out over the ocean. “Nice view isn’t it?” Liam said coming up to stand beside me.

“It’s beautiful. No matter how many times we come here, it always takes my breath away,” I said turning to hug him. “How are you Liam?”

“Doing great thanks. And how are you missy?”

“Yeah, I’m doing good,” I replied.

“Crutches are gone I see,” he noted, pointing to my leg. “That must be a relief. Tom working?”

“A massive relief to be rid of them and yeah, he’s on location. Something about testing lighting. I think he’s looking forward to everything getting underway.”

“It’s certainly been a strange year,” he said.

“Anytime you’re around things get strange,” Chris said to Liam as he came and joined us.

“Ha, you can talk about strange. We’ve all seen you dancing to Wrecking Ball,” Liam teased.

“Hey, nothing wrong with my dancing,” Chris laughed.

“Hmm, I’m not so sure about that,” I giggled.

“I’ve seen you dance around the living room with one too many bourbons under your belt on more than one occasion missy, so you can’t talk,” Chris said.

Laughing, I had to agree with him, “I’m a terrible dancer,” I said, “But just because I can’t doesn’t mean I won’t.”

“You’re not that bad...just not that good,” Liam laughed as he glanced at his watch.

“Oh wow, look at the colours,” I said looking out over the water again where the sky was reflected across the water's surface in a stunning display of mother nature’s colour palette. “It’s beautiful.”

I saw a quick look pass between Chris and Liam then Chris asked, “Would you like to go for a walk down to the beach missy?”

“Oh, I don’t want to take you away from everyone,” I said. “It’s ok, I’ll go down tomorrow night.”

“It’s not a bother.” Turning to Liam, Chris asked, “Can you let Elsa know where we are. Won’t be too long.”

“Sure thing,” came the reply as Liam winked at Chris.

“Ready?” Chris asked.

“Sure,” I replied.

Making our way off the terrace and across the yard, we were almost at the edge of the grass when Chris turned to me, “It can get pretty cool down there once the sun’s gone. Do you have a jacket?”

“Yeah, I threw one over the coat rack. I’ll just go grab it,” I said, turning back.

“That’s ok. You keep going down and I’ll bring it for you. I won’t take long,” he smiled.

Turning towards the ocean again, I made my way across the last of the grass before I reached the sand. At the end of the track, I made my way onto the sandy beach then walked towards the ocean before turning around so I could take in the sun going down behind the hills. Looking up the beach, I noticed a few flames flickering and got worried something was on fire, so started making my way towards them. As I neared the flames, I realised someone had set a table ready for dinner, complete with candles and lanterns. Not wanting to intrude on such a romantic setting, I quickly backed away, turned and ran straight into a rather amused looking man.

“Curiosity killed the cat,” he said.

“Hello my darling,” Tom said, handing me a rose.

Taking in the table setting, the location, the way he was dressed, I started shaking my head.

“No,” I said, looking at him. “Just...no.”

“No what?” Tom asked.

“This,” I said waving my hands around in the air to encompass the table, him, the lanterns, “all of this. You. No.”

Taking my hands in his, he pulled me close. “Calm down love. It’s ok.”

Pulling my hands away from his and looking up into the face I know so well and love so much I said, “Please don’t. Please. Just don’t do it. “

“Hey,” he crooned. “Shhh, it’s ok love. Just come here. Let me hold you.”

“No.” I said. “What’s going on Tom? This little set up didn’t just appear. I saw you on the plane, why aren’t you at work?”

Sighing deeply, he took my hand again, “Look, just come and sit. Please.”

Following him, we sat on the sand facing each other.

“I’ve disappointed you again, haven’t I?” I said, head down.

“Can you look at me?” he asked, finger under my chin tilting my head up. “I admit, this isn’t what I had in mind for tonight but, you could never disappoint me. Well, there was that one time you left me, that was disappointing,” he said trying to lighten the mood.

“You know why I left. I wasn’t ready for my life to be held up to public scrutiny, to be threatened simply because I was with you.

And you didn’t need the distraction of trying to devote time to a fledgling relationship with your movie career taking off. I see the irony now but at the time, well...I never stopped loving you though.”

“Instead, I spent more time trying to win you back than I would have spent being with you had you stayed,” he said.

“And I ended up getting hate mail because I’d made you miserable over the break up and because your attitude to the media changed and somehow it was all my fault,” I said, shaking my head. “Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.”

Leaning forward, he kissed me lightly on the lips. “And, thank goodness, you came back. Yes, I was going to ask...”

Placing my finger on his lips to hush him, I pleaded, “Please don’t.”

Taking my finger off his lips he continued. “I was going to ask...that, then Chris messaged me. It was kind of too late to cancel everything. Mum said you seemed upset and..”

“Diana’s in on this too?” I cried.

“Look, I wanted to try and make things right between us after what happened earlier in the week. I still feel like shit for everything that happened, us not talking and me pissing you off. I wanted to surprise you, so said I had work, but in the meantime called Chris, who was more than happy to have us come up. I needed Mum to play along because I knew there was a good chance you’d back out if you were left to come alone. I flew up this morning and got all of this,” he turned and swept his arm in the direction of the table, “organised, but then Chris rang and...”

“...and told you what I said when we went for walk. So much for not saying anything,” I muttered.

“...said that it might be best if I didn’t propo...didn’t do what I was going to do. He did suggest I talk to you about what you and he spoke about this afternoon though. Anyway, it was too late to call all of this off so I figured, what the hell, let’s just have nice meal together.”

“Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?” I laughed.

Looking down at his clothes, he chuckled, “And what’s wrong with a button down shirt, tie, suit jacket, board shorts and flip flops?”

“I suppose it is The Bay. This looks beautiful,” I said turning and looking at the table.

“Come here gorgeous,” he said, pulling me close. “We good?”

“We’re good.” I replied. “I know you’re upset about all of this, and I’m really sorry.” Taking a deep breath, I said, “I guess I owe it to you to tell you what I told Chris.”

“You don’t have to love.”

Giving a little shiver, I hugged him close and replied, “Yeah, I do.”

“You’re cold,” he stated. “Hang on.”

Producing a blanket, we sat side by side, blanket around us both, arms around each other as I told him what I’d spoken to Chris about earlier in the afternoon. He sat silently, letting me get it all out then turned to me.

“I don’t want to trivialise what you’re feeling but, we’ve been together for a long time now my love. Do you really think things would change and, if you do think that, what would change?”

“I don’t know ok. I don’t know if things would change. Can I ask you something?” I said.

“Of course you can,” he replied.

“You say nothing would change if we were to...well, anyway. If nothing’s going to change by doing it, then why bother doing it? You know why I don’t want to; I want to know why you do want to. I guess this is something we should have talked about a long time ago. Why do you want to marry me?” I asked. “And don’t say it’s because you love me.”

“I do love you, but no, that’s not it. I suppose, like you, I find it hard to explain. I want that commitment from you, to know you want me as much as I want you. I want to share everything with you, give you everything I have...”

“...but you already do. We share everything, nothing’s yours or mine. Everything is ours.”

“Can I finish?” he asked.

“Sorry,” I said quietly.

“As I was saying, I want to share everything with you. Yes, I know we already share most things but there’s something we don’t share love.”

He stopped talking and looked at me expectantly.

Ok, so call me dumb, but I had no idea what he was on about.

“What don’t we share?” I asked.

“My name,” he simply said. “I want you to share my name.”

Leaning my head against his shoulder, I said, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Let’s just not say anything. You’re here, I’m here, we’ve got a great meal, beautiful scenery. Let’s just enjoy it for what it is.”

“Sounds good,” I said. “Tom, you are my everything. You’re the reason I get up in the morning. The reason my world is beautiful. The reason I have an astronomical lingerie bill, the reason I smile as often as I do and I can’t imagine a life without you. You are my world and I love you beyond all reason. It’s really important to me that you know that.”

“I do know love. Come, let’s eat.”

I’m not much of a romantic but, sitting on the beach having dinner with Tom, lanterns flickering in the fading light, gentle sound of small waves breaking on the shore, stars beginning to show; it was incredible. I felt closer to him than I had in a while. Maybe it was finally getting everything out in the open but whatever it was, it felt good and, had he asked me that question at that very moment I may have even considered it.

Pouring us both a glass of champagne, Tom pulled me up onto my feet and, taking my hand, walked us down to the water’s edge.

“They’re all going to be waiting, aren’t they?” I asked.

“Probably,” he replied.

“I’m sorry,” I answered.

Smiling a sad little smile, he said, ”I don’t think anyone will be surprised.”

Rejoining everyone, I only stayed briefly before excusing myself, but not before noticing the expectant look on Chris’s face and Tom’s little head shake.

Heading inside, I grabbed my jacket off the coat rack and took it to our room where I swapped it for a lighter weight cardigan. Taking a couple of minutes for myself, I sat thinking over my conversation with Tom. As I was readying myself to rejoin everyone, there was a gentle tap at the door.

“Coming,” I called out. Opening the door, I came face to face with Chris.

“You ok missy?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said, then promptly burst into tears

.“Maybe not,” he said wrapping me in one of his big bear hugs.

Stepping into our rooms and closing the door behind him, Chris gave me a minute to regain my composure. “Do you want to talk about it?” he aske

“Nothing to talk about really,” I replied. “I messed up.”

“You haven’t messed up missy,” he assured me.

“He told me you messaged or rang, I can’t remember which,” I said. “I saw the lanterns, the table, him in a suit with a bloody rose in his hand and I freaked out, started saying no, please don’t. Chris, the hurt in his eyes. I feel terrible,” I finished with silent tears rolling down my face.

“He’ll get over it, he always does,” Chris said quietly.

“But that’s just it, he shouldn’t have to get over it.”

“So, what are you saying?” he asked.

Wiping my eyes, “I don’t know, I really don’t. Look, I’m just going to take a few minutes then I’ll head back out ok?”

“Take your time,” he told me, giving me one last squeeze.

"Thanks Chris, I really appreciate it,” I smiled, squeezing him back.

As Chris opened the door to go out, Elsa popped her head in. “May I?” she asked.

Nodding, I said, “Come in. Sorry the news wasn’t what you all wanted it to be.”

“Ah missy, you don’t need to apologise to anyone. I just wanted to make sure you’re ok,” she said coming to sit down on the bed beside me.

“How’s Tom?” I asked.

“He’s ok. Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

“There’s really nothing to talk about, I messed up, freaked out as usual,” I shrugged.

“Why do you say ‘messed up?’ What did you mess up? I only see it as messed up if you think you were wrong,” she said.

“I hurt him and I don’t like hurting him. He doesn’t deserve to be hurt. I love him so much Elsa, it’s so damn right being with him I just don’t want anything to mess it up.”

“I know that feeling of it just being ‘right’. Chris and I were engaged then married within a year of dating. It just felt right. I’ve never regretted it, can’t imagine not being with him. I told him, ahora y siempre, now and always, we will be together. You belong with Tom. You’ll work it out. Come back out when you’re ready ok?” she said.

Nodding I told her I’d just take a couple of minutes then be out. Combing my fingers through my hair, I went to the bathroom, splashed some water on my face, grabbed my cardigan and went to rejoin everyone. I felt like I’d been through an emotional wringer and just wanted Tom’s arms around me.

Diana came up and gave me a hug, “You ok Dil?” she asked.

Nodding I assured her I was fine, just a little worn out. Looking around I spied Tom chatting to Liam and Chris and went to join them.

“Thanks man,” Tom said to Chris.

“No worries, mate,” Chris replied, giving me a quick pat on the arm before going to join Craig and Luke.

Tom held his arm out and when I joined them, he pulled me in close. “You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. You ok?” I asked.

“I’m fine. Did you want a drink or anything?”

“Not really. I’m actually kinda tired. If no one minds, I think I’m going to go to bed.” I said.

Liam smiled, “No one’s going to mind missy. You’re with family.”

“Thanks Liam,” I said, giving him a hug then looked at Tom, “Wake me when you come in.”

Closing the door to our room behind me, I leaned against it for a few seconds then headed to the bathroom for a shower. Drying off on the big fluffy towels, must remember to ask Elsa where she got them, I cleaned my teeth then went into our room. I was dragging an oversized t-shirt over my head when Tom came bursting through the door, gathered me up in his arms and kissed me quite soundly.

“Wow, what was that for?” I chuckled, when he let me go.

“I needed it," he said.

“Ok, why? It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

“For courage,” he replied, dropping to one knee, black velvet box in hand. “Will you marry me? We can have a really long engagement, I don’t care. Just say you’ll marry me. Please.”

“Tom, I..” looking down at him and seeing the love and hope in his eyes and remembering Elsa’s words, ‘you’ve only messed up if you think you’re wrong.’ Taking a deep breath, I answered. “Yes.”

He’d obviously prepared himself for the worst because his shoulders slumped and his head dropped then, he must have realised what I’d said and his head shot up, smile on his face he said, “What did you say?”

Laughing, I looked at him, “Yes. I said yes.”

“Yes. You said yes,” he muttered to himself then sprang to his feet, lifted me off mine in a hug, spun me around then put me back down, cupped my cheeks with his hands, bent down and kissed me so softly. Taking the ring out of the box, he rubbed his nose on mine as he slid the ring on my finger, "you said yes.”

“I did,” I laughed. “Can we not tell everyone just yet. Let me get used to the idea first, please?”

Shaking his head, “They can wait until morning. Right now, we have a little private celebrating to do.”

**The chapter titled 'Private Celebrations' available in Virtual Adventures of the Adult Kind is a continuation of this. Please scroll on if you're not over 18 and if you are please heed all warnings before reading.**

Opening my eyes, I found myself still wrapped in Tom’s arms, legs entwined, hands holding hands. Smiling, I wriggled my body a little, desperately wanting to stretch but not wanting to wake him.

“Morning love,” he said against my ear. “Did you sleep well?”

Stretching my body from fingertips to toes, I rolled to face him. “Good morning and yes I did,” I smiled

Grabbing my left hand, he held it up then smiled.

“Something wrong?” I asked with a grin.

“Just making sure I wasn’t dreaming,” he answered.

“Nope, not dreaming,” I assured him.

“We’re going to have to let everyone know love, you know that don’t you?” he said, concern showing on his face.

“I know, and I’m ok with it,” I told him.

It’s really hard to put into words how I was feeling but, I knew I'd made the right decision. A deep calm had come over me. I was at peace with myself finally. All felt good and right in my world. As Tom and Chris said, we’d been together for many years, it was highly unlikely anything would change. I’d give anything to see this wonderful man happy, and if that meant taking a leap of faith, then so be it. I’d take the leap.

“I’m a little curious about something,” I said.

“Hmm, what’s that?” he replied, absently twirling the ring on my finger.

“I was so...I don’t know, adamant...”

“Scared, stubborn, determined, freaked out...should I go on?” he laughed.

“Oh you. Stop,” I chuckled taking a playful swipe at his chest. “Anyway, I was so...whatever it is I was...what made you come charging in here like you did and propose anyway, even though you knew I was so against it?”

“Something Chris said actually. Well, both Chris and Elsa. After he spoke to you, he came to let me know you were ok, then Elsa came and said something to him. He said you’d told both of them that you’d messed up and that was when Elsa told me she thought you were having second thoughts. That was all it took,” he said, kissing my palm.

Yawning, then stretching again, I turned to him, “I’m glad you did.”

Kissing my forehead, he smiled, “So am I.”

“I suppose we should get up and go see your mum. Do you think she’ll be happy?”

“She already sees you as her daughter-in-law love, you know that. She’ll be absolutely thrilled that you’ll be official. Your turn, what changed your mind?” he asked.

“Elsa,” I said thinking back to last night. “When I said I’d messed up, she told me I’d only messed up if I’d done the wrong thing. And I knew it hurt you a lot this time which was almost unbearable. I’m so sorry.”

“Shhhh, don’t love. It all worked out in the end. When are you going to tell your parents?”

“After we tell Diana,” I answered.

“You sure you want mum to know first?” he asked.

Laughing, I said, “You know what my parents are like. I’ll tell them, they’ll change the subject 6 times, come back to it, say that’s nice dear and start talking about something else entirely. Yes, I want your mum to be the first to know.”

“Well, shall we?” he asked, pulling back the covers.

“We should probably get dressed first,” I laughed looking down.

Fifteen minutes later, we’d showered (I know right! Fifteen minutes!!) dressed and headed to see Diana.

Standing at her door Tom was just about to knock when I said, “Why am I nervous?”

Laughing as he knocked on the door, he turned to look at me, “I don’t know. Why are you? Mum, can we come in?”

“Come in,” Diana called.

Opening the door, Tom took my hand and stepped through.

Diana looked up from the book she was reading, did a quick head to toe of both of us and, before either of us had a chance to say anything, came rushing across the room, arms wide open hugging us both. Looking up at me she said, “Finally!”

Giving Tom a side glance, I thought he must have sent her a text message but he shrugged.

“Finally, what?” he questioned.

“Finally, this one said yes,” she answered, taking my hand and looking at the ring. “It’s beautiful.”

“How did you know Mum?” he asked.

“Dil’s glowing...and the ring on her finger was a bit of a giveaway,” she laughed, then turned to Tom. “And, after you went charging off like a bull last night and didn’t come back out, I had a feeling I knew what might be going on. Then you both show up at my door early in morning. It doesn’t take a genius son.”

Tom, towering over his mother wrapped his arms around her shoulders, “She said yes, Mum,” he said softly. “She finally said yes.”

“I can see that son,” she said, hugging him back.

Yes, you guessed it. Watching that special moment between mother and son: I cried.

After spending another couple of minutes with Diana, I excused myself.

“If you’ll excuse me, I have to let my parents know.”

“You haven’t told them yet?” Diana asked.

Shaking my head, “No, not yet. They won’t have much to say anyway.”

“We wanted you to be the first to know,” Tom said, still with his arm around her.

“I’m honoured,” she smiled. “Thank you. Both of you.”

“Thanks Diana,” I said, hugging her.

“You’ll be official Dil. Official daughter in law....Odil. Oh no, too close to Odin. You’ll just have to stay Dil,” she laughed.

“Come on love,” Tom said, taking my hand. “Let’s go call your parents.”

Back in our rooms, I took a deep breath, got my phone out and dialed the number.

“Hello?”

“Hi mum, how are you. Is dad with you?” I asked putting it on speakerphone.

“Hi, hang on and I’ll see where he is. Barry, Barryyyyyyy. He’s coming. How are you anyway? How’s your leg? You walking yet? Come on Barry. Oh, forgot to tell you the bird died...no, come here Barry. Oh for God’s sake. Hang on love,” she said.

“Never changes,” I laughed looking at the expression on Tom’s face.

“I know I should be used to it darling, but it never ceases....”

“Right we’re both here,” my mother said. “What do you want? Did I tell you the bird died?”

“Yeah you did. Listen I’ve got something to tell you,” I said.

“Yes? What? Oh by the way, your sister’s invited us for lunch next Sunday. We’ll come down... hang on. What did you say Barry?”

I could hear my dad say something, then my mum raise her voice at him. Sighing, I looked at Tom. “We’ll get there eventually,” I said smiling at him.

I could hear my mother’s voice some distance from the phone at first then becoming louder, “Yes, I know she wanted to tell us something I was just telling her about lunch on Sunday for God’s sake. Right, so, what did you want to tell us?”

“Tom asked me to marry him.”

She snorted down the line, “Were you silly enough to say no again? I swear one day he’ll give u....”

“I said yes mum. We’re engaged,” I said.

“Oh. Oh, well, um. That’s nice love. So will you be coming for lunch next Sunday? Your father has to go get another load of wood early but we’ll be down mid morning.”

“I’m not sure mum. I’ll have to wait and see what we’ve got on. Anyway, I have to go. Just thought I’d give you a quick call and let you know I’m engaged. I’ll talk to you later ok?” I said.

“Ok love, I’ll talk to you later. Say hi to Tom for us and we’re happy for you if that’s what you want,” she replied.

“It is mum, I’m happy. Ok, gotta go. Bye for now. Love you.”

Hanging up I turned and looked at Tom, shaking my head then we both burst out laughing.

“You know your family’s quite made don’t you darling?” he said, still chuckling.

“I do, and I love them for it,” I laughed, hugging him. “They do care, truly they do, in their own way.”

“You ready?” Tom asked. 

Laughing, I looked at him, “No, not really. I still haven’t had a coffee and I’ve already had to deal with my mother. I’m not sure if I can deal with all that,” I waved my hand in the general direction of where I knew everyone would be gathered for breakfast, “until I’ve had at least on coffee.” 

“Not much hope of that happening unless you take the ring off,” he said. 

Shaking my head, “Not happening. I’ll take my chances, maybe try and keep my hand in my pocket.” 

Taking my hand in his, he opened the door, “Okay. Ready?” 

“Babe?” 

“Yes, love?” he asked. 

“Can you at least wipe the smile off your face and give me half a chance to get coffee before they all find out?” I chuckled. 

“No can do. Sorry my love,” he grinned. 

Heading to the kitchen, I had to laugh when Elsa greeted me with “Good morning missy, here you go.” coffee held in her outstretched hand. 

Taking the mug from her, I took a very much needed sip, closed my eyes and smiled as the caffeine worked its magic. “Thank you.” 

Chuckling, Elsa said, “We all know you’re not good without your coffee.” 

Tom, who was standing talking to Craig and Luke, looked over and saw me with the coffee and mouthed the words, ‘where’s mine?’ 

Taking another big gulp, I asked Elsa for a mug for Tom, poured the coffee and took it to him. 

“Thanks love,” he said reaching for the mug. 

Looking from Tom to me then back again, Chris waited for Tom to take a mouthful of coffee then turned to him, “Alright, we’ve all been patient enough and we’re dying to know. Did you?” 

Laughing, Tom nodded, “I did.” 

Chris turned to Elsa, “We were right hun, he did.” 

Walking over to put her arm around Chris, Elsa looked at Tom and I then smiled while Chris asked, “So, what did she say?” 

“I’m standing right here you know?” I laughed. 

Tom reached down and took my hand out of the pocket I’d had it in, then held it up, “She said yes.” 

A huge cheer went up in the room, then there were hugs, kisses and handshakes all ‘round. 

Looking up I saw Diana standing there smiling, “I’m assuming they know,” she said, nodding her head towards the room as she came over to hug Tom and I again. 

“You assume correctly,” I laughed as I got dragged into the middle of a ‘Hemsworth Huddle’ which is Chris, Liam and Luke forming a ring around you and giving you a huge hug. 

Pulling me aside, Luke said, “I’m really happy for you missy.” 

Giving him a quick hug, I smiled up at him, “Thanks Luke. I’m pretty happy for me too.” 

“You know they’re going to want to throw a party, don’t you?” 

Nodding, “I figured they would but, it’s family so I’m ok with it.” 

Coming up behind me, Tom kissed the back of my neck and whispered in my ear, “Can we escape for a minute?” 

Looking to Luke, “Would you excuse us for a minute?” 

“Of course. Congratulations mate,” he said hugging Tom. 

“Thanks man,” Tom replied. 

Holding his hand, I let him lead me outside where we stood looking out over the ocean. 

“It’s madness in there,” he chuckled. “A good madness, but madness all the same.” 

“Be thankful my family isn’t here,” I laughed. “It would be complete insanity. Besides, they’re happy for you.” 

“For us love. They’re happy for us,” he corrected. “Looks like we’ll be celebrating well into the night. Chris has been on the phone and the rest of the family; cousins, wives, children, will be arriving en masse around lunchtime. I couldn’t talk him out of it.” 

“You know something babe?” I asked turning to him and putting my arms around his neck. “I’m totally fine with it. I want to celebrate this. Us.” 

Putting his arms around my waist and pulling me in close, his lips came down on mine in a kiss filled with the promise of things to come, “Oh you wait until I get you home. The things I have in mind,” he said voice deep, whispering against my ear. 

Laughing, I looked down at my arms, “You just gave me goosebumps.” 

Rubbing my arms, he looked me directly in the eye, “You’ll be getting more than goosebumps. That’s a promise.” 

“This a private party or can anyone join in?” Elsa asked, walking over to join us. “We’re heading to the beach. Did you want to come?” 

We spent the morning on the beach collecting shells, paddling in the water, playing games with the kids, building sand castles and enjoying the fresh air and sunshine. Wandering back to the house around lunchtime, the cousins, wives and children started turning up in dribs and drabs and, by mid afternoon, the family had gathered and celebrations were underway. 

Afternoon turned to dusk, then dusk gave way to night. And still the celebration continued. Taking a few minutes to myself, I grabbed a drink and found a quiet spot to sit and reflect. These people may not be family by blood, but they were my people. Our people. They’d accepted both Tom and I with open arms, treating our home as theirs and expecting us to do the same. Nothing was ever too much for them and I loved them dearly for it. 

Then there was Tom. The absolute love of my life. My heart. My soul. My reason for living. Sitting in a semi dark part of the yard, I smiled as I watched him and thought back to all those years ago when I literally fell at his feet. How different would my life have been if it hadn’t been for an inconsiderate skateboarder riding where he shouldn’t have been, and Tom’s wonderful sense of humour? It hasn’t always been an easy ride, God knows we’ve had our ups and downs, but we’ve learnt that communication and honesty is the key. Sure, he’s great to look at, but he’s so much more than his looks. Kind, considerate, intelligent...and funny. Looks fade with age, and to be honest, his intelligence is much more of a turn on than his looks anyway, but it’s his ability to make me laugh that I treasure. The man is persistent, stubborn, possessive, mildly jealous and can be very single minded but, those aren’t necessarily bad traits...I wouldn’t be sitting here celebrating without his persistence, and his single mindedness has got him to where he is today in his career. I’ve still got a few issues I need to deal with, I know that, but we’ll get through it. I trust him with my life, hell I _have_ trusted him with my life on a few occasions when his darker side surfaces. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future but I know this, whatever happens, we’ll face it together side by side. 

“I’m over here,” I called out to him as he started looking around for me. 

Coming over to join me, he took my hand in his and kissed it. 

“Are you ok love?” he asked, concern on his face. “Come, dance with me.” 

“I’m fine babe, I just wanted a minute,” I answered smiling. 

“I thought you might have been feeling a little overwhelmed,” he said, turning me and pulling my back against his chest, swaying to the music. 

“Not at all,” I replied, moving with him in time to the music. 

“You look different somehow,” he said. “I don’t know what it is, but it looks good on you.” 

“I’m at peace my love. I’m at peace.” 


	35. Bye to The Bay and Joe Public

Lying in bed with Tom’s arms around me, his hands tracing little circles on my shoulder blades, I could hear the rhythmic sound of the waves gently breaking on the shore.

“I’m going to miss being here,” I said softly. “It’s been such a short trip but it feels like so much has happened.”

“You can always stay for a bit longer love. You know they’d be happy to have you,” he murmured placing little kisses along my collarbone.

“I know, but it’s not the same without you here. Yesterday, God was it only yesterday? Anyway, yesterday I realised it just wasn’t the same without you here,” I said, yawning as I rolled over to face him.

“Tired my darling?” he asked.

“Exhausted,” I chuckled. “I’ve danced with you, the brothers, Craig and some random cousin I hadn’t met before, then Elsa insisted I dance with her because Chris was dancing with India. It’s nice to just be alone with you.”

“Mmm, it is nice,” he murmured.

“I’d love to be able to hear the ocean each night. So soothing,” I whispered.

“Come here,” he said, rolling onto his back pulling me close and resting my head on his chest. “That’s better.”

“Night babe,” I said putting my face up for his kiss.

“Goodnight love,” he replied, kissing me gently.

…

The next morning saw us all gather in the kitchen for a fairly subdued breakfast before we went out and cleaned up from last night. Tom, Diana and I packed our things up, loaded the car and got the dogs organised for the trip home.

While Diana was saying goodbye to everyone, promising to try and get back for Chris and Elsa’s anniversary, I took a couple of minutes for myself and walked down onto the beach and just stood looking out over the ocean.

“You ok missy?”

Turning to Liam, I smiled, “Absolutely.”

Coming to stand beside me, I put my arm around him and leaned in, “Thanks for everything you’ve done this weekend for both of us. I’ve always loved The Bay but, after this weekend, it will always hold a special place in my heart.”

“It does have a certain magic about it,” he said looking out over the water. “Shame it doesn’t work on everyone.”

I knew who he was referring to and as I was about to say something, I heard footsteps behind us.

“You trying to steal my fiancée Hemsworth?” Tom joked coming up behind us.

“Well, if you don’t look after her...” Liam teased moving away. “I’ll see you back up at the house.”

“Time to go love,” Tom said, coming up to stand behind me, arms over my shoulders, chin resting on the top of my head. “Hard to leave isn’t it?”

“It’ll always have special meaning for me,” I replied.

“Me too,” he said, taking my hand and kissing the palm.

Walking back up to the house hand in hand, we went in and said goodbye to everyone with promises of us all trying to be here for December. Turning one last time to look out over the ocean, I could sense Tom standing just behind me.

“You ok darling” he said. “Something’s different this time isn’t it?”

"I’m fine babe. And yes, something is different,” I smiled.

“The start of a new chapter,” he said quietly.

I didn’t need to say anything. Just nod and hold his hand. It _was_ different this time, I’d made my peace with some inner demons. Funny, the ocean has always had an effect on me, like a cleansing of the soul, made me see things clearer. Shaking of my melancholy, I headed out to the car with him.

…

Tom and I took turns to drive, both of us still a little tired after not getting a huge amount of sleep. Diana sat in the front to keep the driver company. We arrived home early evening after stopping a couple of times for the dogs to have a drink and pee and so I could grab a coffee.

It’s funny, we’d only been gone for a total of 60 hours but in some respects, it felt like a lifetime. It felt good to be home, back in my own space. Bobby and Paddy ran around the house, happy to be back where things smelt familiar.

Unpacking the car, Tom took Diana’s bag to the granny flat then unloaded the dog crates.

“What do you want to do about dinner?” I asked.

“I was thinking we might just order pizza. We’re all tired and it’s getting a bit late to be worrying about cooking. Is that ok?”

“Sounds good to me,” I said. “Diana, is that ok with you?”

“Whatever’s easy,” she answered. “I think I’ll be having a very early night if you two don’t mind. It’s been a big weekend.”

“We’ll be having an early night too Mum, so that’s fine,” Tom told her.

…

Settling the dogs for the night, I said goodnight to Diana then headed for a shower.

Standing under the spray my leg started to shake uncontrollably leaving me with a fit of the giggles. Take it slow the physiotherapist said. Well, I did take it slow; a slow walk on the beach, slow dancing...judging by the shaking I might have overdone the ‘slow.’ I’d just started turning the water off, trying my best to get out the shower before Tom saw my leg and started lecturing me, when he came in. Bugger.

Hearing me giggling, he came over and said, “What’s so funn...oh. I’m guessing that probably shouldn’t be happening,” he nodded his head at my leg doing its own little dance.

“I think it’s possible I may have overdone it just a teensy bit,” I said still giggling while trying to stop it shaking. “It won’t stop. Can you get me a towel please?”

Waiting for me to wrap the towel around myself, he scooped me up in his arms, carried me to the bedroom and carefully stood me up beside the bed.

“I could have walked,” I said. “But thank you, it was much easier this way.”

“Are you right to dry yourself while I take a quick shower?” he asked. “Or should I dry you and tuck you in?”

“I’m fine, it’s just muscle fatigue. Actually, I think it’s just fatigue in general,” I laughed.

“Yes, I must admit, I’m tired. I’ll be out in a minute love,” he said.

Dried and in bed by the time he came out, I’d tried reading but couldn’t focus on the words. Climbing in beside me, he stretched himself out, adjusted the pillow and turned out the bedside light.

“Goodnight darling,” he said, pulling me over so I lay tucked up against his body. “I love you.”

“Goodnight babe. I love you too,” I said.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**JOE PUBLIC**

Opening my eyes, I knew I’d slept later than normal because of the sunlight coming up the hallway. Wrapping my dressing gown around me, I went in search of Tom and coffee...not necessarily in that order. 

I found both in the kitchen.

“Good morning darling. Sleep well?” he asked, handing me a big mug of coffee.

Closing my eyes, inhaling the wonderful smell as the cup neared my mouth, I took a big sip, “ Ahhhhh ,” was all that came out of my mouth as the coffee went down. “ Mmm , yes I did thanks babe. And you? Did you sleep well?”

“Certainly did. What would you like to do today love?” 

“Are you not working?” I questioned.

“No, not much going on this week. Everything’s still a bit up in the air at the moment,” he replied.

“Good morning darlings,” Diana greeted as she came in from outside. 

“Morning mum,” Tom said walking over to give her a hug.

“Good morning Diana. Did you sleep well?” I asked as she put her arm around me.

“Not too bad. I think I might just have a fairly easy day today though. I need to start thinking about going home too,” she said.

Tom and I both put our hands over our ears, then laughed when we  realised what we’d done. Neither of us really wanting her to go yet. “Stay,” Tom said. “We’re not ready for you to go home yet, are we love?”

“I’d love for you to stay longer Diana. I’ll miss you when you go.”

“Thank you both for making me feel wanted and loved,” she said, big smile on her face, “But, it’s time I think about heading home and let you two get on with your lives. Dil, you’ll be getting back to work soonish I imagine. You’re doing really well with your recovery...”

Tom and I both laughed out loud, “You wouldn’t have said that last night if you’d seen what I saw,” Tom told her. “She could barely stand in the shower her leg was shaking so much. We still need you to look after her.”

I nodded my agreement with Tom, “Absolutely yes. I still need you here.”

“Nice try you two,” she said. “Dil, you’ve never needed me here. Remember, I was here when you got caught on the chair, and vacuuming and all the other things you’ve done that you shouldn’t,” she finished with a chuckle.

“Seriously mum, we’d love you to stay. Just think about it ok?” Tom said putting his arm around her. “Now, I’m thinking of taking this lovely woman out for brunch. Would you like to join us?” he said turning to me.

“I might just laze around in bed I think,” I said winking at Diana.

“Thank you for the invite darling, but I’m going to be the one lazing around. You and Dil go and have a lovely time. I’m still feeling a bit worn out from the weekend. I’m not used to having so many people having such a good time for so long,” she said. "If it’s ok with you I’m just going to sit outside near the pool, relax and read. Maybe do bit of weeding in the garden.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to join us?” I asked.

“Thank you  Dil, but no. I really do just want to have an easy day,” she answered. 

Giving me a playful swat on the backside, Tom said, “Come on then love, let’s go and get you dressed. We’ll see you when we get back Mum.”

“I’ll go get dressed, it’s much faster if I do it without your help thanks all the same,” I laughed. “See you soon Diana.”

“Have fun you two,” she said as she returned to her granny flat.

“I’ll behave. I promise,” he said, doing his best to look innocent. 

Heading back into our room, I made the bed, went through the usual morning routine, teeth, hair, face etc, while Tom stood watching.

“I didn’t  realise my morning routine was so interesting,” I said glancing at him in the mirror as he stood leaning against the doorframe. 

“Everything about you is interesting,” he said watching as I put eyeliner on. “I don’t know what it is but there’s something different about you.”

I shrugged, “Still me, still the same person I was last night.”

“Yes, but not the same person who left here on Friday morning. As I said, I don’t know what’s different but something is and it’s a good something ,” he said.

Putting the eyeliner down, I turned to him, “I just need to get dressed then I’m ready.”

“Darling do you mind if I take the script with me?” Tom asked.

“Not at all,” I replied. “I might take the camera. Now that I’ve got my legs  back, I can get back into it.”

Dressed and ready to go, he popped his head out the back to let Diana know we were heading off and we’d be back in a few hours.

…

Brunch was lovely. We sat in the sun, talked, laughed, reminisced and just enjoyed being together. He read through some of the script and had me in stitches, I took some photos and loved the fact I could move around freely. 

“I guess we should probably head home,” I said. “I have to get these leg exercises done or I’ll end up doing the shaky shaky again, and you need to spend some time with your mum. I have a feeling she wants to go home so I think we’ll probably only have her for another couple of days.”

“I have a feeling you’re right. I wish she’d stay longer. I feel like I haven’t spent enough time with her, done anything with her this trip,” he frowned.

“I’m sure she doesn’t see it that way. You ready?” I asked.

Walking back to the car, he held my left hand up in front of us. “I like seeing that there,” he said, indicating the ring. “You have no idea how much I like seeing that there.”

“I  kinda like it too,” I laughed.

Opening the door for me, he held my hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it just as some random guy came running up and took a photo of us.

“Hey Tom, can I get a photo?” he interrupted. “My wife will lose her shit when she sees this.”

Seeing the look on Tom’s face, I very quietly said, “It’s ok babe, just take the damn pic then let’s go.”

Taking the man’s phone, Tom snapped the photo, handed the phone back and was in the car, engine running all within 30 seconds.

“Well that just ruined a beautiful morning,” he said as we pulled out of the parking lot. 

“No, it didn’t. Ok, he could have gone about it a little differently but it’s all good. Don’t let it get to you,” I said touching his leg.

“But it was a private moment, between you and I,” he said.

I burst out laughing, “There’s no such thing as a private moment when you’re out in public babe. You’ve been doing this long enough to know that. Be thankful it was just Joe Public and not the paparazzi.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he said squeezing my hand.

Arriving back home, he went to tell Diana we were home while I checked a text message I’d just received from my sister.

‘You might want to check this out’ and she’d added a link.

Opening the  link, I just stared and thought to  myself, “ Oh bugger.”


	36. Oh bugger! and Diana's Last Morning

** OH BUGGER! **

Opening the link in the text message my sister had just sent me, I looked and thought, ‘Oh bugger.’

Swearing under my breath, I scrolled through the photos that had been posted on some trashy gossip page on the internet: Tom and I at the table eating, Tom looking at the script, me taking photos, Tom holding my hand up when we were walking back to the car, Tom holding my hand to his lips and kissing it and of course, a close up of the ring on my finger.

“What’s wrong darling?” Tom asked, “You look furious.”

“What? Oh, nothing. I was just looking at...”

Taking the phone from my hand, he looked down, “Bastard!” he spat. “I had a feeling this was going to happen when that rude bastard barged in demanding a photo. I’m sorry love.”

“For what? It’s not your fault,” I said.

“You know what this means don’t you?” he asked.

I laughed, “Yes, I need to make sure I do my hair and makeup before I leave the house for a few weeks.”

“Best warn mum I suppose. They’ll be outside waiting before too long,” he said.

Heading out to the granny flat we told Diana what happened, showed her the pictures and told her what to expect. “Would it help to issue a statement or something?” she asked.

“They can go to hell,” Tom said. “There won’t be any statements, interviews or anything else. It was a private moment between us and it’s going to stay that way. Let them post the bloody photos, they’re getting nothing else.”

“I actually really like this one,” I said with a chuckle holding my phone up to show Tom the photo of him kissing my hand while we were standing near the car. “It’s sweet.”

Old cranky pants barely glanced at it, “It’s not the point. Things haven’t gone well in the past when the media start hounding you. Remember?”

“We’ve come a hell of a long way since then. I’m pretty sure I can handle it. I know what to expect now. I had no idea back then,” I said.

Diana was standing beside me looking at the photos, “It is quite a good one isn’t it?” she agreed, pausing on the one of him kissing my hand.

“I’d like to frame it actually. What do you think babe?” I asked.

Begrudgingly looking over at the pic, he couldn’t help but smile, “it is quite good.”

“Changing the subject for a while,” Diana said. “I think now is a good time for me to head home. You’re going to have enough to deal with over the next couple of weeks without me being here under your feet.”

“I really don’t want you to go home Diana,” I said hugging her close to me. “I’ve loved having you here. You’ve helped me so much. I’ll miss you.”

“Dil, we both know I haven’t really done much at all to help...”

I cut her off, glancing from her to Tom then back again, “You’ve done more to help than you could ever know.”

Tom caught the glance and turned to Diana, “What she’s trying to say is that you helped her out when I was being an absolute bastard to her. Isn’t that right darling?”

Diana stepped in, “Tom, stop it! Take your bad mood elsewhere. Dil didn’t deserve that. It’s not her fault things turned out the way they did this morning any more than it’s your fault.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry darling,” he said, putting his arm around me.

“So you should be,” I said with a chuckle, “and yes, he’s right. By just being here you helped me out when he was being an asshole. I really appreciated the company.”

“And I was happy to be here but, it’s time darling. I miss home. I want to go and see the girls, see my gardens, sleep in my bed...” she trailed off as I nodded.

“I get it. I’m just being selfish,” I said.

“When were you wanting to go?” Tom asked. “I’ll book your ticket.”

Looking sheepish, she grinned, “I’ve already done it darling. I leave day after tomorrow and I apologise, but I have to be at the airport for 6am.”

“I can take you if Tom’s working,” I said.

“Can’t get you to change your mind, convince you to stay?” Tom asked his mum. “I feel like we haven’t spent enough time with you, haven’t done enough together. I’ve loved having you here, _we’ve_ loved having you here. I’m going to miss you.”

“Darling, this has been one of the most wonderful trips I’ve had. I’ve spent time with you and Dil, friends and family. I’ve been places and seen so much. I’ve had lovely relaxing days spent with you, had fun in the garden with Dil, been to the mountains, the sea, spent time with Chris and his family and watched you and Dil grow as a couple. I’ve seen this one,” she pulled me in tight for a hug, “conquer personal demons and I was privileged enough to be here for your engagement. I’ve loved my time here, but it’s time to go home. Especially if I’m going to come back for Chris and Elsa’s anniversary...and anything else that may happen around that time,” she finished, raising her eyebrows at me.

“Don’t push your luck lady,” I laughed. “He got me to say yes, that’s enough for now.”

“I had a feeling you might say something like that,” she said. “But I'm sure Tom will have something to say about that. Now, how about I take us out for dinner tonight because I’ll need an early night tomorrow night if I’m going to be at the airport for 6am.”

…

Showering and dressing for dinner, we were both feeling a bit sad at the prospect of Diana leaving.

“I know I’m not meant to like my mother in law but I love your mum,” I said to Tom. “I’m genuinely going to miss her.”

“I’ll miss her too but there will be advantages to her not being here.”

“There will?” I asked, “Like wha.....ohhhhhhh,” I said as I realised what he meant.

Smirk on his face, he started towards me, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Back off Hiddleston,” I laughed. “You don’t need her to be gone for that. She knows the deal.”

“I know she does,” he said bending down to kiss me. “But it’s still not the same. And I believe I promised you something when we were at Chris’s place.”

Swallowing hard, trying to get my brain to function properly again after thinking about what he’d said at Chris’s, I pushed on his chest and managed to whisper, “Back off Hiddleston, you’re gonna get me in trouble.”

“Darling you have no idea,” he said in a deep growl.

My legs were threatening to give out when he chuckled, “I can almost hear your thoughts and, much as I’d love to explore them with you, we need to go.”

We were followed to the restaurant and had cameras shoved in our faces as we got out of the car but when they knocked into Diana things changed. Tom, wrapping his arm around her protectively, became furious ordering everyone to get back as he ushered us towards the restaurant.

“Enough,” Tom shouted. “No more. You need to move back.”

At this point one guy shoved a camera right in Diana’s face giving her a fright and that was when Tom lost his cool and flipped the guy off then threatened to smash his camera. It takes a lot for him to lose his cool but when he does, it’s a sight to behold and this guy was about to cop the full force of that temper. Pushing Diana through the door, I turned grabbed Tom’s arm and dragged him into the restaurant before it could get an uglier than it had already.

“Tom, enough. I think it might be wise of you to be going home Diana,” I said. “This is a little more than I expected.”

“It’s that guy that was at the café this morning,” Tom said. “He seems to be the one inciting trouble.”

“Just ignore him,” Diana said. “I’m fine and to be honest, it seems like he’s trying to goad you into doing something so just be careful.”

We managed to have our meal in peace and get back home without too many problems but of course, they had to publish a pic of Tom losing his cool. He’s not amused.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**DIANA'S LAST MORNING**

Feeling a cold, wet nose bump my hand, I opened my eyes to see Paddy sitting beside the bed.

“What’s up?” I whispered careful not to wake Tom.

He bumped my hand again and gave a little whine. It’s not like either Paddy or Bobby to come into our room so I was instantly on guard.

“Hang on. I’m coming,” I whispered again to Paddy.

Grabbing a robe, I was throwing it on as I followed him to the living room only to be met by Diana coming in through the door.

“Oh, you’re up. I was just going to come see if you were awake,” she said. “I think someone’s prowling around the fence line. Paddy’s been outside my door whining.”

Glancing around at Paddy who was still unsettled, I gave him a reassuring pat, “I figured something was going on. Paddy came into our room and woke me up nudging my hand with his nose. Stay here, I’ll go take a look.”

“I’ll come with you Dil. You’re not going out there on your own,” she told me.

“I’ll take Paddy,” I said. “He won’t let anything happen to me. He’ll either bark or bite, either way I don’t care. You keep Bobby with you.”

Diana chuckled, “You make me laugh Dil, so brave.”

“Not brave, pissed off,” I responded. “I have a feeling we might have a few paps hanging around outside seeing if they can gain a vantage point.”

Opening the sliding door, ushering Paddy out with me I was stopped in my tracks, “You _were_ going to wake me before you went wandering around out there weren’t you darling?”

“Well actually, no. No, I wasn’t,” I said turning to look at him, “and before you get your cranky pants on again, I was going to go check it out _then_ wake you if I needed to.” Smiling, I continued on my way out to the garden, Paddy by my side. I could hear Tom muttering to himself about ‘bloody independent woman’ as he opened the door and followed me out.

“Just wait a minute, would you?” he called after me. “I’ll come with you.”

Wandering around the yard, we could see nothing out of the ordinary and Paddy seemed to have settled down.

Heading back in Tom told Diana we hadn’t found anything but, we were thinking of calling the police to see if we could do something about keeping them back a certain distance from the house. Past experience had taught us it would probably only be a week and it would start to taper off and by the time two weeks had passed by we’d be forgotten about again and life would return to normal...hopefully.

We’d learned over time that you’re better off just going about your normal life than worrying about trying to hide away. Neither of us ever offered comments but we refused to hide away and become prisoners in our own home.

“So, what’s the plans for today? Diana, what would you like to do seeing as how it’s your last day with us?” I asked.

“Yes, mum. What _would_ you like to do today? Your choice seeing as how you insist on deserting us tomorrow,” Tom said in a sulky tone.

Diana and I burst out laughing at this grown man behaving like a petulant child.

“What?” he said. “I’m sorry, am I not allowed to miss my mother?”

“You are allowed to, just stop with this ‘hard done by’ act you big sook,” I laughed. “Anyway, Diana, what would you like to do?”

“I would love to spend it, just the three of us, here. Do whatever it is you need to do and I’ll just sit here or out in the sun and enjoy some quiet time with both of you. I have to pack, so I’ll do that soon, then we can spend some together. Is that alright with both of you?” she asked.

“Sounds perfect to me,” Tom said.

“Absolutely,” I agreed.

We had a light breakfast of coffee and toast, or tea and toast for Diana, then she went to pack while Tom and I went to get dressed.

As we were getting ready to go back to the living room, Tom’s phone rang. Looking at the call I.D he said to me, “It’s Chris.”

Answering it, he said, “Hey man. How’s it going?”

“Oh, g’day mate. Hear you’ve had a bit of an invasion down there. Mum told us you’ve had a bit of a run in with the paps. Everything ok?” Chris asked. “How’s missy coping?”

“You’re on speaker,” Tom told him. “but she’s fine. Possibly coping better than me at this point.”

“How’s Diana? We heard she had a bit of a close encounter with one of them.”

“She’s good. She’s heading home in the morning. Probably for the best I guess, although I’m going to miss her. _We’re_ going to miss her,” he corrected himself. “It’s been great having her here.”

“Give her our love won’t you. Anyway, what I called for; if you need to get away from those bastards down there, you’re always welcome to come back up and stay for a while. You’re not back at work yet are you? Either of you?” Chris asked.

“No, I’ve got a fairly easy week...” Tom said.

“...and I’ve still got at least 3 weeks before I get the all clear.” I finished.

“Well, the offer’s there if it gets too much,” Chris said.

“Thanks man, appreciate it very much. We’ll let you know,” Tom told him.

“Thanks Chris,” I said.

He rang off and Tom and I went to the living room where Diana was sitting with Paddy and Bobby at her feet. “I think they know I'm going,” she said, giving them both a pat on the head.

“Oh that could be why Paddy was out of sorts this morning,” I said. “I didn’t think of that.”

“Could be,” Tom nodded.

Sitting there chatting for a while, Diana indicated the script on the table. “If you need to go through that darling, do it. I’m happy just to spend the day with you doing whatever it is you need to do.”

“Would you mind?” he asked her picking the script up.

“Not at all,” she replied.

“Darling, if I get the other copy would you go through it with me?” he asked. “We can take it outside and enjoy some fresh air.”

“Happy to help,” I said.

We moved outside where Diana sat in a sun chair, eyes closed, dogs either side of her, listening to Tom read through the script, smile on her face.

“What are you smiling at?” Tom asked, voice soft with affection for the woman he was going to miss.

“Listening to your voice and being thankful that we made the decision we did regarding your education. You’ve done well for yourself son. I’m proud of you,” she said opening her eyes and smiling at him.


	37. PREQUEL - In The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the story of how Tom and I met and began our virtual relationship. I've taken a huge amount of artistic licence in this so don't judge me too harshly where facts and timelines don't match up properly.

“I knew you’d look good on your knees bowed down in front of me. I was right,” he quipped. 

“Damn, and you didn’t even get to say kneel,” I shot back. 

Laughing, he reached down for my hand, “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah, I think so,” I replied taking his hand and allowing him to help me up. “Your boots provided a somewhat softer landing than the pavement. Thanks.” 

“You’re bleeding,” he said pointing to my leg. “Let me get the medic to check it for you.” 

“No, it’s fine. It’s nothing. Thanks anyway. I’ll fix it when I get home.” 

“Where’s home?” he asked, cheeky smile on his face. “I can take you, make sure you get there safely.” 

“l’ll be fine,” I said. “I only live a few minutes away. Anyway, better go. Thanks for the...boots,” I laughed turning to leave. 

“Are you sure I can’t take you home?” he asked. “It’s not a problem.” 

Laughing at him, I shook my head, “Hoping persistence will pay off? No, seriously I’m fine.” 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he said eyes not leaving my face. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

PART 1: 

‘God I can’t wait for this bloody circus to be over and leave town,’ I thought to myself as I was tying my shoelaces ready for my morning run. They were filming a movie near where I lived and it was crowded and chaotic so I tried to make sure I ran early. 

I took the same route every day, had done for the last year, as it led me past the ocean and quite often I’d stop and have some water while watching the sun rise. During the past month I’d noticed a few of the actors from the film getting in an early morning run too. I kept myself to myself and didn’t bother them but within a couple of weeks I had become on ‘head nod’ terms with them. They’d give me a nod of the head as we ran past each other and I’d just give a quick smile in return. 

Yesterday I took a different route as I was short on time and couldn’t be bothered with the crowds and media circus that gather by the ocean to watch filming later in the day, but it was a one off and then I was back to my normal route. 

Tucking my iPod into my bra and putting the headphones in, I left the house and went running along the boardwalk at the beach. I glanced out over the ocean deciding to stop for some water and to watch the spectacular sunrise. Taking my earphones out, I had a drink and admired how Mother Nature had gone all out this morning, painting the sky in a myriad of colours; reds, pinks, oranges and purples streaking across the sky as the sun popped its head over the horizon casting a golden glow all around, the tang of salt water in the air. 

“Stunning isn’t it?” said the accented voice beside me. 

“It most certainly is,” I replied, eyes still on the sunrise. 

“I didn’t see you yesterday. Did you not run?” he asked. 

“I did, just a different route. Anyway, I best be off. Have a good one,” I said, putting my earphones in, giving a quick wave and heading off to finish my run. 

“You too,” I heard him say in that silky smooth voice as I jogged away. 

... 

Over the next couple of weeks, I saw him every morning on my run, each of us acknowledging the other with a nod of the head or a smile. 

On this particular morning when I got to the beach, I noticed quite a bit of activity at the far end of the boardwalk and saw that a section of it had been roped off from the public. There were people milling about and I came to the conclusion that they must be filming early, probably to try and beat the huge crowds that had been forming during the day. Shrugging, I attempted to travel as much of my normal route as possible and continued jogging along the boardwalk up to where there was a small crowd gathering. Just as I was about to branch off and circle back the way I had come, some random guy on a skateboard came out of nowhere. I couldn’t do anything to stop, he couldn’t change direction and we collided with an audible thud, his skateboard doing flips in the air before landing on the grass, both of us stumbling and me yelling, “Why don’t you watch where you’re going?” 

He fell onto the grass, hurled a mouthful of abuse at me, got up, grabbed his skateboard and was on his way again. I wasn’t quite so lucky. After stumbling, I completely lost my balance and fell through the rope at the end of the boardwalk landing squarely on a pair of handsomely booted feet. 

Staring at the booted feet for a few seconds, it then registered that they were attached to a body. Slowly lifting my head, I looked up into the face of a rather amused Loki who, with smirk on his face, seemed to be rather enjoying my misfortune. 

“I knew you’d look good on your knees bowed down in front of me. I was right,” he quipped. 

“Damn, and you didn’t even get to say kneel,” I shot back. 

Laughing, he reached down for my hand, “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah, I think so,” I replied taking his hand and allowing him to help me up. “Your boots provided a somewhat softer landing than the pavement. Thanks.” 

“You’re bleeding,” he said pointing to my leg. “Let me get the medic to check it for you.” 

“No, it’s fine. It’s nothing. Thanks anyway. I’ll fix it when I get home.” 

“Where’s home?” he asked, cheeky smile on his face. “I can take you, make sure you get there safely.” 

“l’ll be fine,” I said. “I only live a few minutes away. Anyway, better go. Thanks for the...boots,” I laughed turning to leave. 

“Are you sure I can’t take you home?” he asked. “It’s not a problem.” 

Laughing at him, I shook my head, “Hoping persistence will pay off? No, seriously I’m fine.” 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he said eyes not leaving my face. 

“I guess so. Thanks,” I replied. 

Showered, leg taken care of and ready for work, I didn’t give the events of the morning another thought. 

Arriving at work, I greeted my coworkers, grabbed a coffee and got the music sorted for the day. Checking the schedule, I saw that I had a 30 minute one on one session with my first client at 9:30 then had the 10:30 spin class followed by another one on one at 11:45. 

“Karaoke night tonight, we going?” Tim asked. 

“I’m in,” I replied. “Anyone else?” 

“Yeah, I’m up for it,” Jai said. 

“Yep,” added Megan and Michelle. 

“Awesome. 7 o’clock suits everyone yeah?” Tim asked. 

“Yes, but I can’t stay too late,” I said holding up tomorrow’s schedule, “I’ve got a session at 7:30 in the morning. New client according to this.” 

... 

Arriving at the pub, we grabbed the song list for karaoke and put our names down next to the ones we wanted to sing. None of us were great, well Tim was awesome, but he was the only one, not that we cared, we were out to have a few drinks, sing a few tunes, have a dance and a good time. 

“Do you want to do ‘Shallow’ with me?” I asked Tim. 

“Nah, it’s all the wrong key for me,” he answered. 

“Come on,” I cajoled, “You sound great. I want to sing it and I need someone to sing it with me.” 

“Just put your name down. I’m sure some random will put his name down,” Tim said heading for the bar. 

“I don’t want a random,” I yelled after him to no avail. “Fine, I guess I’ll do it with a random then.” 

“You can do it with me,” a voice said close to my ear. “How’s the leg?” 

Spinning around ready to give him a mouthful about personal space, I noticed who it was. 

“Oh, hi! It’s fine. Thanks,” I replied. “And thanks again for the softer landing.” 

“Can I get you a drink?” he asked. 

“Thanks, but my friend’s gone to the bar already,” I replied. “I should probably go find him. Have a good night.” 

“Boyfriend?” he questioned as I walked away. 

“Workmate,” I called over my shoulder as I went to join my friends. 

… 

“Hey Jai, you’re up man. They’re calling your name,” Megan said tapping Jai on the shoulder. 

Getting up on stage, Jai grabbed the microphone and started belting out Smells Like Teen Spirit while the rest of us hit the dance floor. 

Feeling eyes on me, I looked around the room and, sure enough, there was the Loki man leaning against the wall watching me. Realising I’d seen him, he raised his glass in a silent toast. Giving a nod of my head, I acknowledged I’d seen him then went back to dancing. 

“You’re up next,” Tim called to me, nodding towards the song board. 

“Someone must have put their name down to do it with me,” I said. 

Jai finished and I headed up to take the microphone from him waiting to see which random had decided to put his name down to sing with me. 

Pete, the guy who ran the karaoke called out, “Tom Odinson. You’re up man.” 

‘Tom Odinson? You have to be freaking kidding me,’ I thought to myself. ‘No way, he wouldn’t be stupid enough to...’ 

“Hello darling,” he greeted. “Ready?” 

Apparently, he _was_ stupid enough. 

We sang the song together, and we sang it well, our voices complimented each other, afterwards he asked me if he could buy me a drink. Politely declining I rejoined my friends and danced on the spot at our table while we talked. 

“I can see you want to dance. Will you come dance with me? Please,” he asked holding his hand out after coming to our table. 

“I’m with friends,” I said indicating the people around the table. 

“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind,” he said then turned to them. “Would you mind if I took this lovely lady away for a dance?” 

Tim choked on his drink, “Mate if you think she’s lovely you really need to get out more, but if you wanna dance with her go ahead.” 

“Yeah cheers, thanks for that,” I said to Tim. 

“See, they don’t mind. Will you?” 

“Oh my God, you’re persistent,” I sighed. 

“Well you got the God part right I suppose,” he grinned. 

Laughing out loud, “Smart arse. Ok, I’ll dance with you. Next song, I’ll find you.” 

He walked away promising to hold me to it even if he had to come over and carry me out onto the dance floor. 

“Oh my God, do you know who that is?” Michelle practically squealed. 

“Do you wanna keep it down a bit,” I said. 

“But you know who it is right? Please tell me you know who it is?” she squealed again. 

“He, Michelle. He’s a he, not an it and yes, I do know who he is and I don’t care. He’s just another bloke,” I said. 

Shaking her head at me, “He’s not just another bloke you blind moron. Look at him. He’s gorgeous.” 

“Just another bloke,” I said. 

The next song started and, as promised, he came and found me. We danced that song, and the next then I checked the time. 

“It’s been fun but I have to get going. Early start and all that,” I said to him. 

“Let me take you home?” he asked. 

Laughing, I shook my head, “Not a hope in hell sunshine.” 

“It was worth a try,” he said with an exaggerated sigh. “I’ll see you in the morning then.” 

Raising my eyebrows, I looked at him, “I might go a different way.” 

“You might, but you won’t,” he said with confidence. 

As it turned out I did see him the next morning, on my run and at work. He was the new client and I accused him of stalking me, but he swore it wasn’t his doing. 

“Not my doing, I swear,” he said trying hard to keep a straight face at my exasperated look. “The studio wanted a female trainer because females are generally more flexible. To my credit, I had no idea you were a personal trainer. How could I? I know you run each morning, and in the time I’ve been watching you, you’ve only missed one day but, other than that I know nothing about you. Other than you can sing and dance.” 

“You what?” I demanded. 

“What?” he asked. “What did I say?” 

“You’ve been watching me? You sure you’re not stalking me?” I asked feeling slightly freaked out. 

“No, no, not like that. I noticed you running because...” he paused then started to chuckle. 

“Because?” I prompted. 

Still chuckling he shook his head, “This makes it sound worse. I noticed you running because firstly, you have a lovely running style, I just want to make that very clear ok? Secondly, those tiny running shorts you almost wear fit you in all the right places and all the right ways. And, well, I’m a man and we notice these things especially as we passed each other every day for many weeks, you just didn’t notice. I noticed you well before you started giving me a smile, trust me.” 

“So now what? I’m supposed to fall at your feet?” I asked with a cheeky grin. 

“You’ve already done that if I remember correctly,” he replied with a smirk. “Now you’re supposed to agree to go for coffee with me.” 

“No fraternising with the clientele,” I smiled sweetly. “On the ground, on your back. Time to stretch.” 

“On my back? With pleasure darling.” Laying down as instructed, he looked up at me as I asked for his leg, “I’ll ask for a different trainer.” 

“You might want to think about different shorts too,” I quipped. 

He looked me straight in the eye and smirked. 

Bastard! He knew exactly what he was doing. 

Stretching his leg upwards, I shrugged, “Up to you, but even if you do, it doesn’t mean I’m going for coffee with you.” Then for good measure, I pushed harder on his leg stretching it out. 

Laughing at the discomfort, he went to grab his leg, “Haha, owww, you like to play rough love? I can do that.” 

“I’m not your love, and what I like to play is none of your business. Now, hands down and stretch,” I smirked. 

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” he chuckled. 

“Every second of it,” I replied with a huge grin. 

“Sadistic little thing aren’t you? I like it. I’ll wear you down, you know.” 

… 

True to his word, he requested another trainer. I found the whole thing quite amusing because it meant that I didn’t see him at the gym as his sessions were scheduled to start before I started. It didn’t stop him. 

Running along the boardwalk, I noticed him running towards me and, as usual I gave him a smile but instead of running by in the opposite direction, he swung around and started running with me. Looking over to him, I sped up trying to outdistance him. He found the whole thing highly amusing. 

“Darling I’m 6’2”, you’re what, 5’4”? You’re going to tire way before I will. Let’s call a truce ok?” he said. 

Coming to a stop and trying to catch my breath, I pulled myself up to my full height and said, “I’m 5’5”...and a half,” then collapsed in a fit of the giggles as he said, “and don’t forget the half huh?” 

“You know I'm going to keep stalking you until you give in. I’ll wear you down until you say yes,” he laughed. 

Shaking my head, “You’re persistent I’ll give you that.” 

“In all seriousness. Why won’t you let me buy you a coffee? I’m not asking for you hand in marriage...yet,” he smirked. “Just a coffee, what’s the big deal?” 

“Look, you seem like a nice guy and I know there are thousands of women who probably think I’m crazy but, I'm a nobody and I like being a nobody. I don’t want to be the next mystery woman plastered all over social media pages. I’m sorry,” I shrugged. 

“Darling, you are not a ‘nobody’ as you put it. Don’t ever sell yourself short or put yourself down. To me, you are a someone. A someone I would really like to have a coffee with. Come to the set with me. I can get you in, we can have a coffee there,” he pleaded. 

Shaking my head, I looked up, “I really need to get going. I might see you tomorrow,” and started running towards home. 

He followed me. 

Coming to a stop a street away from my house, I turned on him, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I asked. 

“If you won’t come to me, I’ll come to you. Look, if I thought you weren’t interested or didn’t like me, I’d leave it. I have a feeling you’d like to have a coffee with me but you won’t let yourself do it becauset of....” 

“Because of who you are?” I finished for him. “Yeah, you’d be right.” 

“I was going to say the risk of being seen but yes, I thought as much. Will you let me come to your house? Not now, but later. Tonight? You don’t even have to tell me where you live, I’ll just jog past and take note of which house you turn into. Please?” he said. 

“I can’t stop you following me,” I said with a chuckle. “But I can’t guarantee I’ll turn into the right house either.” 

… 

He turned up that night. And the next. A perfect gentleman, he visited for an hour each night, had a coffee with me then left with the promise of seeing me the next morning when we went for our run. 

Yeah, ok, he was a lovely guy and if he wasn’t who he was I could have easily fallen for him. 

Running along the boardwalk the next morning, I didn’t see him and had to admit I was a little bit (maybe a big bit) disappointed. I’d become used to seeing him on my run but knew at some point the circus would be packing up and leaving town...and he’d be going with it. Another reason I wasn’t willing to get too attached. 

Reaching the end of the boardwalk near the kids play equipment, I was just about to turn towards home when I saw movement out the corner of my eye and noticed him standing by a massive tree beckoning me over. 

“What _are_ you doing?” I laughed as he looked around then hid behind the tree pulling me with him. 

“This,” he said, pulling me close to him, lowering his head until his nose rubbed mine and I could feel his breath on my lips. “If you want me to stop, you’d better hurry and tell me,” he whispered against my mouth. 

With barely a touch, he swiped his lips over the top of mine then almost lifted his mouth away before applying gentle pressure, pressing his closed lips down against mine. Slowly, deliberately, opening his lips, forcing mine open with his, he gave the lightest flick of his tongue on my bottom lip which had me moaning, involuntarily I swear, in the back of my throat. That was all it took. That moan saw his mouth claim mine in a kiss that was breathy and hot, a union of lips, the tentative touch of tongue against tongue, his palms cradled my jaw, thumbs resting against my cheeks, fingers wrapped around the back of my head. 

I swear time stopped in that moment. My heart wasn’t beating, of that I’m absolutely convinced, and with that kiss he sucked the very life out of me leaving me breathless...or maybe that was just from the running, but whichever it was, I was gone in that moment. I felt my heart restart but it wasn’t the same anymore. 

He lifted his lips off mine and rested his forehead against mine. I opened my eyes and looked into his. “Tell me you didn’t feel it,” he said, “and I’ll call you a liar. You felt it didn’t you?” 

There were no words to convey what I was feeling so, I didn’t say anything. I looked up at him and nodded. That was all, just a nod. 

“I knew it was going to be special,” he whispered against my mouth as he claimed it again. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

PART 2: 

We had 8 wonderful weeks of sneaking around and staying at each other's places, usually mine because it was way more comfortable; before we got found out. Even my coworkers didn’t know; although I think Tim suspected something because I suddenly stopped going to Karaoke and came flying through the door with minutes to spare instead of my usual half hour. 

"Everything ok with you?” Tim asked. 

“Yeah fine, why?” I asked. 

“Nothing you feel like sharing?” he quizzed staring at his phone. 

“Noooo,” I drawled. “Should there...” he turned the phone. “Ah fuck!” 

There on one of those stupid gossip sites was a photo of Tom and I in a rather intimate embrace standing on the driveway of my house. 

“I, I, oh hell, I’m not...” my phone started ringing, “Hello?” 

“Hi, it’s me,” Tom said. “Listen darling, you’re not going to like this but...” 

“Yeah, I know. I just got shown. I’m sorry,” I said. 

“What the hell are you sorry for? I should be the one apologising. Actually no! Neither one of us has anything to apologise for. We’re two people trying to build a relationship. We shouldn’t have to apologise for that. Are you going to be ok love?” he asked. 

I knew he was worried; I could hear it in his voice. 

Full of trepidation I asked, “I guess so but, be honest. How bad is it going to be?” 

He sighed heavily before answering, “They’ll follow you, photograph you and generally piss you off.” 

“Do I have to talk to them? I don’t want to have to talk to them,” I said. 

“It would be my preference that you don’t speak to them love but they’ll be taking a lot of photos and they may question you.” 

“No worries, as long as I don’t have to answer them. Look, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later,” I said. 

“I’ll be over tonight,” he told me. 

“Maybe it’s best if you don’t come ov...” 

He cut me off, “I’ll be over tonight.” Then the line went dead. 

Tim looked at me with a bemused look on his face. “You wanna fill me in on what’s going on?” 

“I guess I’ll have to now. Let’s wait for the others so I only have to go through this once though ok?” 

... 

Tom was right. The minute I left the gym, there they were with their cameras in my face. By the time I got home I wasn’t a pretty sight. Nervous, flustered, anxious and if I’m being perfectly honest, scared. 

He arrived just after me and assured me it would die down once everyone got used to the idea of us being together and suggested in the meantime that maybe I should stay with him or he stay with me. 

After a rather heated discussion on the merits of doing things his way versus my way, it was decided (by me) that we’d do things my way and that I’d be staying on in my house, he could stay, go, visit, whatever he wanted, but I was staying put. He was there more often than not. 

I let things go for another 2 weeks but nothing got better and the strain was really beginning to show. 

I’m a personal trainer who lives a quiet life. I love the beach, home, family, friends, karaoke at the pub on Thursday night, sitting around the campfire getting slightly drunk with friends on a Saturday night and... Tom Hiddleston. 

This was not my world: this world of cameras in your face all the time, people wanting to know every intimate detail of your life, being on show the moment you left your front door and having details of your private life splashed all over social media pages was completely foreign to me. And don’t even get me started on the things people said about me – people who don’t know me. I was using Tom to gain a foothold in the movie industry, using him to gain a foot hold into the celebrity fitness industry, after him for his money, I was too skinny, I was too fat, I was a snob, I was common, I was aloof, I thought I was too good for everyone, suddenly all these ‘sources close to the couple’ appeared but the final nail in the coffin for me - I was bad for his career. It seemed to be popular opinion that being in a relationship was a bad career move for him. 

Taking a deep breath, I called him, “Hey, I need to see you.” 

“I’ll be over in about an hour. You want to tell me what’s wrong?” he asked. 

“Nothing, I just...I can’t...I’ll talk to you later ok?” I said. 

He came through the front door 33 minutes later. Funny, I’ve never forgotten that. 

One look at my face and he knew. 

“No,” he said shaking his head. “We can work it out. We’re almost finished shooting. I’ve got time off, we’ll go away. We can work it out love, I know we can.” 

Shaking my head, I simply said, “I can’t.” 

Walking over he held my face in that way he knew I loved, fingers meeting at the back of my head, hands cradling my jaw, thumbs stroking my cheek, and looked me in the eye, “Please, please don’t. We can work it out. I know we can,” he said barely above a whisper. 

Putting my hands on his, I pulled them away from my face. “I can’t. This isn’t my world. This is your world. I’m sorry. You should go. I only asked you to come so I could tell you in person. I thought you deserved that rather than over the phone.” 

“I won’t give up on us. You know how persistent I can be. This isn’t over,” he told me. 

“I really am sorry. I just can’t. It’s got nothing to do with how I feel about you. I just can’t do... that,” I said indicating where I knew the photographers were. 

“But that’s just it. The interest in us will die down love, they’ll find someone else to bother soon enough. Please don’t give up on us. I love you. There, I've said it. I love you.” 

“I’m really sorry Tom. I just can’t,” I said putting my head down. 

“This isn’t over. I’ll give you some space for a bit, but this is far from over. You’re mine, we belong together. Do you love me?” he asked. 

“I really want to say no,” I said to him. 

“But you can’t can you?” he questioned. 

My answer was a simple shake of the head. 

Kissing my forehead, he went to the door and opened it then turned back, “I mean it, this isn’t over.” 

“Yeah, it is. Bye Tom.” 

He did what he said he’d do. He gave me space. I wish the media could have done the same. It took them just under a week to figure out something was up because we hadn’t been seen ‘sneaking about for a romantic rendezvous’ or ‘shacked up in secret love nest.’ 

I got hassled on my way to work, “Why isn’t Tom visiting?” “Is it over between you and Tom?” “Has he moved on?” “Is it true you were using him to further your career?” I got hassled on the way home from work, “Is Tom coming over tonight? Is it true that you gave him an ultimatum, marry you or else?” 

The biggest shock I got was when I saw photos of Tom. He looked terrible. He had bags under his eyes and looked like he hadn’t slept since he was here last, his face was drawn and from all accounts he was quite irritable. 

The media had a field day with his looks and temperament. Ultimately the blame was laid squarely at my feet by both media and fans alike. I was the evil woman who broke Tom Hiddleston’s heart. It was at that point I realised it didn’t matter what I did I was going to be damned. 

... 

He gave me 2 weeks before he messaged. I didn’t respond to the first couple of messages but when he threatened to come over, I answered. He came over anyway. 

Looking up as the door opened, I frowned, “Just make yourself at home why don’t you?” 

“I intend to,” he replied. 

“I feel you may have missed the sarcasm there,” I stated. 

“No, I got it loud and clear. I’m choosing to ignore it,” he said. 

“You look like hell. Coffee?” I offered. 

“Please,” he nodded walking over to join me in the kitchen backing me up against the cupboards. “How are you?” 

His hand came up to cup my cheek. Damn but it felt so good to have him touch me. Giving myself a stern mental talking to I tried to step away. 

“Please don’t. It serves no purpose. Tom, move back please. I don’t want, don’t want, don’t...oh fuck,” 

His mouth was on mine, arms pulling me closer and I responded by wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him down so I could wind my hands in his hair and kissed him back. Holy cow, did I kiss him back! 

Coming to my senses, or what was left of them, I pushed him away , “...don’t want to do this with you,” I said, finishing the sentence I started before he so rudely, but oh so beautifully, interrupted me. 

“Liar,” he said pulling me close again and mashing my lips underneath his. 

Breathing hard, fire in my belly, I pushed against his chest, hard. “How dare you come into my house as if you own it, then have the audacity to ignore everything I’ve said about not wanting to be with you, assume it’s ok to kiss me whether I...” 

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are when you’re angry?” he asked. 

“...want you to or not and make me realise how much I miss you and still love you,” I finished. 

“You said it.” 

The smile was slow to spread across his face as he digested the words I’d just yelled at him. If I didn’t love him already, I would have fallen hard then and there. 

“You said you love me,” he said. 

“I did. I mean, I do. I did say that I do love...” 

Mouth coming down on mine again, “You talk too much.” 

“Get off,” I said pushing him away. “Yes, I love you. Yes, I miss you. But it doesn’t change anything. There’s still all the outside shit to deal with.” 

“We’ll work it out,” he said, shrugging it off. 

“Don’t shrug at me. This doesn’t chan...” 

Stepping into me, he kept coming forward until he had me pushed up against the cupboards with nowhere to go. Looking up at him, I saw the expression on his face darken then he pinned my arms by my side and pulled himself up to his full height, pressed his body against me effectively trapping me. “I said, we’ll work it out.” 

“I don’t intimidate that easily,” I snarled feeling his body react to my defiance as I struggled against him. 

With both of us panting hard, we stopped the struggle, looked at each other and realised in that very moment, we belonged together. He released one of my arms to grab my hair and pull my head back, pressing his body hard against mine and growled in my ear, “You. Are. Mine.” then his lips came down hard on mine in a bruising kiss. 

Pushing against him with my free hand and using my body weight to knock him off balance, I held my hand up. “Stop! I’m not yours to own. I am my own person. I always have been and I always will be.” 

“But?” he said, desire etched all over his face. “There’s a but in there. What is it?” 

“But, it would appear we both have similar....wants...so, you don’t own me, but you can have me.” 

“So, just to be clear, we were talking about sex right?” he said letting me go and looking a little confused. “ 

Rolling my eyes at him, I nodded. 

“Ah, got it. So does this mean you’re willing to try and make us work as well?” he asked. 

“You’re going to have to be very patient and very understanding but yes, I’d like to try and make it work,” I answered. 

That night was a discovery for both of us. Whilst we’d already known each other intimately, we hadn’t realised we had quite that much in common. 

Over coffee the next morning we talked about how to help me overcome my issues with the paparazzi. I suggested we move to a ghost town, change our identities and live in peace forever more. Much as he liked that idea, he said it was a little unrealistic and suggested we meet them head on. Stop hiding away. Be seen in public, present a united front and let everyone know beyond shadow of a doubt we were together and they could deal with it one way or the other. We decided not to issues statements or make comments, hoping that just being seen together would be enough. He told me it was still going to be hard but, I at least had an idea what I was in for this time. 

Filming wrapped up and Tom had some time off before he needed to be available for any post production work so he pretty much moved in with me. I would have liked to take things slow but Tom isn’t one to do things by half measures and is an ‘all or nothing’ type of person. 

I’d like to say it was easier and it all ran smoothly but it wasn’t and it didn’t. It still isn’t and still doesn’t. 

Eventually decisions had to be made as real life came knocking on the door. I’m Australian, I was born in Australia, raised in Australia, live in Australia...and don’t want to live anywhere else. Tom is English, born in England, raised in England, lives in England...and loves living in England. I’m guessing you see the problem here. 

We also had the issue of work. As an actor it stands to reason that he’s going to have to travel for work, not just the filming side of it but also promotional work. We were looking at very lengthy absences and lots of travel trying to snatch a few hours or days together here and there. 

He wanted me to give up everything, my house, my job, everything I’d known and go with him. I wanted to _keep_ my house, my job and everything I’d known. We could visit each other. Apparently, I was the most stubborn human being put on this earth and my idea was stupid because I only got 4 weeks paid leave each year in my job and, unless I was willing to take leave without pay, which I wasn’t, we’d never see each other. We were at a stalemate and Tom had to go home. 

Our phone bills were horrendous, so was the loneliness. I missed him. He kept reminding me that it was my choice to live like this and if I’d just stop being so stubborn, we could be together. I kept reminding _him_ that _I_ needed to work; then he said he could support me. I won’t tell you what was said but I believe he said I could make a sailor blush with my choice of words. 

The months passed, the phone bills soared and the loneliness ate away at me. I lost weight, lost interest in everything and sat at home waiting for his phone calls. My mother was the one that finally made me see how stupid I was when she told me I might as well finish it and put us both out of our misery because the way we were living was no way to live. I realised she had a point. If this was what our lives were going to be like for the rest of our days, there was no point in being together. I didn’t realise he felt the same way. 

Getting home from work one day I got the shock of my life when I walked and found a huge bunch of flowers on the table and a note telling me to go to the living room where I would find a blindfold on a chair. I was to sit on the chair and put the blindfold on then call out that I was ready. I did as I was told then called out, “Ready.” 

I heard his footsteps then felt him take my hand. “Take the blindfold off,” he said. 

Taking it off, I found him on one knee in front of me. “This has gone on long enough. I miss you and I know you miss me. If we’re going to be together, we need to be together. I don’t know how we’ll work it out, but we’ll do it together. I love you and I want you with me. Will you marry me?” 

Taking a deep breath, I leaned forward and gently kissed that gorgeous mouth, giving myself time to formulate the words I needed to say. “I agree that we need to do something about our situation. I don’t know how we’re going to work it out either, but I know we will. I love you to the point of distraction, you’re all I think about, all I care about. I miss you beyond belief and want desperately to be with you but...I won’t marry you. I’ll happily live with you until my dying day, but I can’t marry you.” 

“I don’t understand. Why? Why can’t you marry me? You said yourself we need to do something about this. You love me. Why?” he asked. 

“Please don’t be upset, I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not saying I don’t want to be with you, quite the opposite. I want to be with you, live with, follow you around the world if I have to, but I don’t want to get married. I’m sorry.” 

“Wow, was not expecting that,” he said. “I figured you’d either say yes or tell me to get out.” 

“Like I said, I’m happy to live with you forever, I’ll follow you around the world if I have to, don’t want to but I will,” I laughed. “Are you ok with that?” 

“I don’t know to be honest,” he said. “I guess I’ll have to be because I’m not willing to give you up. You know I’m persistent though, I’ll wear you down. You’ll say yes eventually, you’ll see.” 

“I wouldn’t count on it,” I said, taking the sting out of my comment with a little chuckle. 

… 

I gave notice on my job the next day and cried like a baby that night. I vowed to try and find work somehow as we were travelling around. Surely it wouldn’t be too hard to find work, right? As it turned out it wasn’t hard at all. Word got out that I was a personal trainer and I was quite often hired to work with Tom and the crew on the movies they were working on. I’m not naïve enough to think I’d have gotten the work if it wasn’t for Tom but I sure as hell earned my keep. I was tough but fair and actually gained a bit of a reputation for myself. 

I chose not to sell my house, instead putting it up for rent. I know it’s silly but, it was something that was mine. Not Tom’s, not ours, just mine. Tom still his house in London for the same reason. We decided to make Australia our home base, simply because it’s where I’m most comfortable and I’m happy to be on my own here so, if Tom needs to go away on his own for work, he doesn’t worry about me as much. 

I still hate media attention, but I’m better equipped to deal with it now. Thankfully we don’t get bothered too much these days. Our life is far from perfect, but we’ve made it this far. 

I guess there’s hope for us after all. 

**The chapters entitled 'The First Time' and 'The First Time Loki Came To Visit' tie in with this chapter. Both are available in Virtual Adventures of the Adult Kind. 18+ only. Heed warnings**


	38. Diana Leaves, A Brilliant Idea and Papping The Paps

“Goodnight Diana, I’ll see you in the morning,” I said giving her a hug. 

“Oh, don’t get up specially to see me,” she said. “It’s going to be very early. I’ll just say my goodbyes now.” 

Shaking my head at her, “No, you won’t. I’ll be up in the morning. I would have come to the airport if Tom didn’t have that breakfast meeting.” 

“I’ll be in soon darling,” Tom said giving me a kiss on the cheek. “I just want to see Mum out safely. I’m still not convinced there’s not someone hanging around.” 

Pressing my forehead against his, I smiled, “Take your time my love. Spend as much time as you want with her. I’ll be in bed, wake me if you want.” 

He came in about an hour later, had a quick shower, got into bed and reached for me. 

“You ok?” I asked. 

“Yes, but I’m going to miss having her here. Saying goodbye never gets easier does it? Probably a good thing I’ve got that meeting in the morning, even if it was last minute. At least I won’t be able to dwell on it,” he said, playing with a strand of my hair. 

“Feel free to run the paps over when you leave. Saves me having to do it later when I got out,” I chuckled. “You should probably get some sleep babe, you have to be up early.” 

“Going out? Where are you going? Maybe you should wait until I get back, I’d feel better if I was with you,” he worried. 

“I need to get some groceries and...” 

“Do an online order and get it delivered,” he told me. 

“...and I wanted to go browse in a few other shops,” I finished. 

“No,” he said, “What abo...” 

Propping myself up on one elbow I looked down at him, “Don’t you be telling me no. I’m not living my life as a prisone...” 

Looking up at me, “I’m not saying you have to live like a prisoner. I’m saying wait until I can be there with you to...” 

“I don’t need protecting thanks all the same,” I shot back at him. “I can look after myself.” 

Getting frustrated now, he sat up, “You and the paps don’t exactly have a great track record darling. I don’t need the stress of wondering if you’re going to crac...” 

Realising where his line of thinking was going, I cut him off. “I’m not going to crack. I’m not going to let them get to me. In fact...nevermind. Can we drop it and get some sleep please?” 

“You can’t drop that on me and expect me to sleep,” he said. “What the hell are you up to?” 

“Nothing. Get some sleep. I love you,” I said planting a kiss on his mouth, laying down and closing my eyes. 

He let out a big breath, “I just don’...” 

“Shhhh, no more,” I said opening one eye and looking up at him. “Relax. Come, lay down with me.” 

“Do you have any idea how much you frustrate me at times?” he asked. 

“Of course I do, but that’s why you love me. Keeps you on your toes,” I chuckled. “Now, go to sleep.” 

“But I don’t want to sleep,” he murmured against my neck. 

… 

Waking to the sound of an alarm has never been my favourite thing in the world, and it still isn’t. 

“Turn it off,” I groaned. 

“Sorry darling, wasn’t quite quick enough,” he said. 

Getting up I went out to the kitchen, put coffee on and played with Bobby and Paddy while I waited. Tom came in soon after, still yawning and rubbing his eyes as he stretched, “Still tired,” he mumbled. “Coffee?” 

“Well, my love,” I said. “If you’d gone to sleep when I told you to, you probably wouldn’t be so tired and the coffee should be ready in a minute.” 

“Mum come in yet?” he asked. 

“Does it look like she’s in yet?” I asked looking around. 

“God, how the hell am I going to get through this meeting?” he chuckled looking at me. “it’s your fault.” 

“Hey don’t be blaming me Mr. I told you to go to sleep,” I said poking him in the chest as I went to pour the coffee 

“Don’t make plans for tonight,” he said looking up as Diana came in. “Morning mum, sleep well?” 

“Good morning Diana, tea?” I asked. “and what are we doing tonight babe?” 

“Just don’t make plans,” he said again. 

“Good morning Dil. Yes, thank you, tea would be lovely and I slept well. Thank you both for asking,” she said smiling as Tom walked over and hugged her. 

All too soon it was time for Tom to take Diana to the airport. A few tears and many hugs later she promised to do her best to come back for Chris and Elsa’s anniversary. 

“I’m going to miss you so much,” I said to her. “Thank you for being here. We both needed you.” 

“No, my lovely Dil thank you. I’m so happy that I was here to see my son put that ring on your finger. He told me years ago that he’d wear you down,” she laughed. “and he did.” 

“Yes, he’s rather persistent,” I said looking up at him. “But I’m so thankful he is.” 

“You’re just lucky I like you,” he said with a wink. 

Taking her bags out to the car, Tom turned to me gave me a hug and made me promise to be careful if I went out later. “I wish you’d wait for me,” he said. “I’d feel much better.” 

“I’ll be fine,” I told him, returning the hug and giving him a kiss. 

Giving Diana one last hug, I made her promise to call as soon as she landed then went back inside so I didn’t have to worry about the morons who were no doubt hiding out the front and would start snapping the minute the gates started opening. 

Tidying up the kitchen then getting dressed, I sat and read for a little while to pass the time before going to the shops. I wanted to go to the lingerie store... without Tom... because I’d seen some really nice lace bustiers and knew what would happen if he were with me. I was happy to go back as the sales girl had kept our secret and I was more than happy to give her my business. 

… 

Just about ready to leave, I had one last quick glance at the headlines and found a photo of Tom having breakfast. Shaking my head at how ridiculous it was that the poor man couldn’t even have breakfast in peace, I sent him a text message. ‘You should have combed your hair...how’s the juice and watch your napkin doesn’t fall off the table.’ 

I got a message back, ‘Where the hell are you? Why don’t you come in?’ 

I sent another back, ‘I’m at home. You’ve been papped’ and sent a copy of the photo. 

He sent a message back, ‘My God they’re pathetic.’ 

Looking at the photo of him it made me realise just how intrusive the cameras were. 

And a brilliant idea was born, well maybe it wasn’t really brilliant, but at the time I thought it was. 

Game on bitches..... 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A BRILLIANT IDEA**

“Hey Nick, how’s my favourite tech head kind of like a brother doing?” I asked into the phone. 

“What do you want?” he laughed back. 

“I’m sure you’ve seen we’re having a bit of an issue at the moment. I’ve had a brilliant idea...” 

“Your ideas are rarely brilliant,” he said cutting me off. 

“Rude!,” I laughed, “Anyways like I was saying, I’ve had this brilliant idea but I need your help.” 

Sighing on the other end of the phone he said, “How much trouble am I going to get in?” 

“None,” I said. “Well, not much. I don’t think. I’ll take the rap for it.” 

Explaining what I wanted and why, he reluctantly agreed to help me out. Nick was related, or almost related, somehow through the lines of my family. I get confused with the specifics because there’s so many ‘step’ this and ‘half’ that’s in my family so I just accept them all as brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles etc. Does my head in trying to work out all the different relationships. 

“Thanks Nick, you’re awesome,” I said. 

“I know,” he agreed with a chuckle. 

“Humble as always I see,” I laughed. “But seriously, thanks heaps. I’ll be in touch soon.” 

Ending the call, I checked the time. Excellent, shops should be opening. 

‘Ok, let’s get this shit show on the road,’ I said to myself. 

Phone in hand, I grabbed my bag, keys, camera and camera bag and was just about to head out the door when the phone rang. 

“Hey babe,” I said. 

“Hello darling, just wanted to let you know I might be a little longer than I intended being. Just got a couple more things to run through then I need to run a few errands. Have you left yet? He asked. 

“Haven’t left yet, just about to and take your time. I’ll be fine,” I replied. 

“Just remember not to make any plans for tonight,” he reminded me. 

“You never did tell me why but ok. I don’t have any plans, for tonight anyway. Listen I should probably get going,” I said. 

“Hold on, what do you mean ‘for tonight anyway’? What are you up to?” he asked. 

“Gotta go babe, talk later. Love..” 

“No, talk now,” he said. “What are you doing? What are you up to?” 

“Nothing. I’m not up to anything, I’m standing here talking to you, waiting to get off the phone so that I can get to the shops and do a couple of other things I want to do,” I replied. 

“Why don’t I believe you?” he asked with a bit of a chuckle. “Ok, just behave yourself and stay out of trouble ok? I love you, talk later.” 

“Love you too,” I replied then ended the call. 

Getting in the car, I put my bag on the floor and had the camera on the seat beside me. Pushing the remote for the gate, I pulled the camera up ready for the fun to begin. 

Putting the windows in the car all the way down, I pulled up to the gate, waited for it to open then started snapping away the minute it did, so did the paps. 

Putting the camera down, I drove to the grocery store, did what I had to do there then headed for the lingerie store. Parking the car, I grabbed the camera before getting out then went inside. The sales girl looked up, saw who it was then instantly looked behind me. 

“He’s not here,” I said to her having a quiet chuckle to myself at the look of relief on her face. 

“Can I help you with anything?” she asked. 

“Actually yes,” I replied. “I wanted to look at bustiers. Preferably black, but I need a white one too.” 

“Certainly,” she said, “Just this...” 

She trailed off as I swore, “Oh fuck it. I thought it may have taken them longer. Sorry, this won’t take a minute,” I said as I headed for the door, camera in hand. 

Returning inside a minute or so later, the poor girl looked thoroughly confused. “Right so, bustiers?”   
I asked. 

“Um,” she pointed to the window and raised an eyebrow, “are they taking photos of...” 

“Yes, they are. Don’t worry they’ll leave when I do. Oh, and thank you for last time we were here too. We appreciated that you didn’t post all over social media. Makes a pleasant change I can tell you. As Tom said, we like your shop and will be happy to bring our business here,” I said to her. 

“You’re not bothered...Won’t they...Are they always like that?” she asked as I turned and saw a lens pushed up against the window. 

“Yep, they certainly are. Hang on,” I said walking over to the window with my camera and taking a few photos. 

She gave me a strange look and I said, “Just getting my own back.” 

Finding some nice bustiers, I grabbed some more knickers as well, Lord knows I go through enough. 

Finalising my purchase, I ran the gauntlet outside and got back to the car, taking a few photos on my way. Heading for home, I parked on the side of the road next door to our house and sat in the car waiting. Sure enough, it didn’t take them long and they were back. Calling Nick I told him I’d be sending some stuff through to him shortly and asked him to get things happening at his end. 

Once the paps were back, I stepped out of the car and started snapping them snapping me. As I got closer I started hitting them with a barrage of questions just like they do. “How are you today?” “How does it feel having the camera shoved in your face?” “How does it feel knowing your photo is going online in the next 10 minutes, lots of photos of you following me around?” “How does it make you feel following me around all the time?” “Is this a career you’d be proud to tell your kids about?” “Does it make you feel good to know how miserable you make our lives?” “ Do you feel good about yourself at the end of the day?” “How does it feel knowing that every aspect of your appearance is about to be judged by the photos I post?” “How does it feel knowing you have absolutely no control over what I’m about to post?” “Let me tell you, it might not mean much to you right now. But you just wait.” 

And with that I went back to the car where I intended taking more photos of them taking photos. Unfortunately, at that moment Tom got home. Seeing my car parked on the side of the road with me in it and seeing the photographers, he put two and two together and came up with 10. 

Pulling into the driveway, he flung the door open and started running towards me obviously thinking I was in trouble. It was only as he got closer he saw me with the camera and slowed down, “What the bloody hell are you doing?” he asked. “You had me worried thinking something was wrong. For God’s sake will you...” 

“Shhh, not in front of the children babe,” I said nodding towards the paps standing nearby. 

Walking over to me, he said in a low voice, “Get yourself inside. Now.” 

“Yep, will do in just a second,” I replied snapping more pics of them snapping pics of us. 

“What the hell are you doing anyway? Have you gone mad?” he asked again, quieter this time. 

“I, my love, am having a blast. I’ve had enough of their shit and am taking matters into my own hands. I have a website ready to go and I’m going to be posting a shitload of pics of them,” I indicated the paps, “taking pics of us and showing what it’s like from our side. I’m papping the paps.” 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**PAPPING THE PAPS**

“What do you mean you’re papping the paps?” Tom asked. “Can you just get inside? Now. Please?”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” I said staring down the guy standing behind Tom. 

Shaking his head, he walked off then turned back, pointed at me then the house. Rolling my eyes, I nodded and indicated I’d understood. 

Waiting until Tom was back in his car and through the gate, I started my car and rolled it forward slowly past the photographer standing near our driveway. “This isn’t over. I’m coming back.”

“Suit yourself,” he said. “Gives me more to work with.”

“Yeah, me too,” I smiled as I drove into the driveway.

…

After a brief but heated discussion, Tom and I agreed to disagree about what I was doing. He didn’t want me going back out there and was very vocal in his reasoning. I listened to his reasoning then stated my reasons for doing it. I assured him I'd be fine. I was only intending to follow one of them, the one that took the pics of Tom and I at the café and I was only doing it until I got some type of reaction, an admission that the camera was intrusive. 

“You’re never going to stop them love,” he said.

“I know,” I replied.

“Then what the hell’s the point of doing it?” he asked.

“I just want one of them to  realise how intrusive it is to have a camera in your face every time you step out and have no control over what’s posted online no matter how unflattering it is. I’m not naïve enough to think I can change the world. All I want to do is change one person’s perspective,” I answered.

“I’m against it,” he said.

“I know,” I answered.

Following the pap back to his house, I camped out front in my car snapping photos at every opportunity. Him getting out of the car, another of him locking the car, going to the front door, taking the garbage out, all the dull, boring, mundane things they take photos of us doing. I found the whole process mind numbingly boring and wondered how the hell these guys did this for hours on end. 

Over the next couple of days, Tom and I found ourselves at loggerheads more often than not. He wanted me to stop, I was determined I was seeing this through until I got some type of reaction. 

I posted the photos I’d taken of Kevin, the asshole pap, doing normal everyday things just like he did to us. I posted photos of him taking photos of me, him loitering out the front of our house, getting in his car. I posted photos of him at home, at the shop. I wasn’t exactly thrilled with myself when I started taking photos of his wife, but he did it to us so in my mind it was fair game...and that was when I got my reaction.

Driving out of the driveway and parking on the side of the street awaiting today’s game of cat and mouse, I noticed him coming over to the car. Opening the door, camera at the ready, I got out the car and waited.

“What’s with posting photos of my wife?” he demanded.

“Just doing what you do,” I replied.

“She’s done nothing that warrants having her photo splashed around like that,” he said.

Raising my eyebrows I looked at him, “Are you hearing yourself here?”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Are you listening to yourself?” I said.

“I still don’t get what you mean,” he answered. “She’s upset about having her photo posted. She’s not in the public eye, isn’t famous and feels like her privacy has....” he paused here so I waited. 

And waited.

“But, it’s different for you,” he said.

“Really? How so? You tell me how what I’ve done, is any different to what you’ve done?” I said.

“She’s not a celebrity. She’s just my wife,” he said.

“Just your wife? Are you serious? ‘Just’ your wife?”

“I didn’t mean it like that. She’s my wife, she’s not famous, she’s...she’s just a person,” he said.

“So am I,” I replied.

“But you’re a  celebrity, that makes you fair game,” he reasoned.

“I’m not a celebrity,” I stated.

“Yes you are, you’re...”

I cut him off, “No. I’m not. Tom is, not me. I’m the same person I was years ago when we got together. The only reason my face is known is because of Tom, not because of anything I’ve done. I’m just Tom’s fiancee, the same as your wife is ‘just’ your wife.”

While he was quiet, I kept going, “It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, at the end of the day you’re a person. The same goes for actors, musicians, anyone in the public eye. It’s hard enough living your life with the cameras on you at public events and having to look your best for official events, imagine living that  every day . The minute you set foot out of your house, there’s a camera on you capturing your every move. Tell me, have you enjoyed me snapping away your every move and posting the photos? Have you enjoyed reading all the negative and nasty comments about yourself? No, I didn’t think so. Well, welcome to my life.”

Kevin’s expression changed briefly as he looked behind me.

I hadn’t seen Tom and he scared the hell out of me when he came up beside me.

“Everything alright darling?” he asked.

“Yeah, it is. I think Kevin may have a bit more of an understanding of where I’m coming from. Am I right Kevin?”

“Yeah, I get where you’re coming from but, I still have to make a living. I don’t make the kind of money you people make,” he said.

“The kind of money Tom makes,” I corrected. “And I understand that you have to make a living, but surely there must be better ways of going about it. All I'm asking is that you think twice before you shove your camera in someone’s face. Think about the person you’re photographing. Think about your wife’s reaction to having her photo splashed about and then think about how your subject is going to feel. We ,” I pointed to Tom then myself, “have no control over what you post and, if that’s not bad enough, we then have to endure the hurtful comments about our appearance because we’re not dressed like we’re doing a red carpet every single day of our lives. At the end of the day, we’re just people.”

“I’m done,” I said turning to Tom. “I made my point; I did what I wanted to. I’m done. Take me home.”

Looking to Kevin, Tom said, “I hope you at least you think on some of what’s been said to you today. I’ve heard everything...”

“You what?” I asked surprised. “How?”

“You people have made our lives a living hell over the years. If you’d only  realise that the more you intrude on our lives, the more photos you post, the more determined we are to not have anything to do with you. The people we talk to are people who are willing to let us live our lives in private. I know reporters who’ve become friends because they’ve respected our privacy and don’t divulge anything to  you parasites,” he  finished .

Turning to me he said, “I’ve been standing out of sight and heard the whole lot.” In a very rare display of affection near photographers, Tom put his arm around me and kissed my temple, “I’m proud of you love.” 

Walking inside, we left Kevin packing his camera up and heading to his car. I know he’s still going to take photos but, hopefully, I’ve given him something to think about. 


	39. Job Done, The Idea Takes Off,  Anxiety

**JOB DONE**

“Come inside love,” he said as we walked side by side, his arm wrapped around my shoulders. “I want you to see something. You did good.” 

“You were so against me doing this though,” I said. “I don’t know how they do that all the time. It’s mind numbingly boring. I think I’m going to take the pics of his wife down though. I feel really bad for doing that, I just really wanted to get my point across,” I said. 

Opening the door, he ushered me inside, “Oh you got your point across love. Head to the office, I want to show you something.” 

“Can it wait? I really want to go take a shower and have a coffee. I suddenly feel exhausted, like I've been awake for 4 days,” I said. 

“Well, a couple of days anyway,” he chuckled. “Won’t take long. Come on. Take a seat.” 

Sitting myself down in the chair, I watched on as Tom brought up my ‘Papping the Paps’ site and said, “Look what you’ve done.” 

There in front of me were hundreds, if not thousands of comments. Celebs and fans alike congratulating me on taking a stand and offering their support. There were even photos of celebrities papping the paps. 

“You did it love,” he said placing his hands on my shoulders as I burst into tears. Turning the chair around, he put his arms around me and hauled me up onto my feet, holding me in his arms and letting me have a cry. “You ok?” he asked as the tears subsided. 

Nodding, I wiped my arms across my face then started to chuckle, “I’m sorry babe, I'm just absolutely wiped out mentally and emotionally, I’m tired. I feel like I haven’t slept in a week. This is just...I don’t have the words to explain how much that,” I pointed at the computer monitor, “means to me.” 

“I don’t think this is over yet love. You might end up with more attention than you bargained for because of this,” he told me. 

“I’m totally fine with it, if it means raising awareness of what it’s like for you and your peers,” I said. “I need to take the photos of Kevin’s wife down. It’s really not sitting comfortably that I did that. I don’t think I handled that terribly well. I owe her an apology.” 

As I was about to get up my phone rang. Looking at the caller I.D I noticed it was Diana. “Oh shit. I forgot your mum sent me a text...I can’t even remember what day it was...to let me know she was home,” I said fumbling with the phone. 

“Hello Diana,” I answered. “I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you. Hold on, I’ll put you on speaker.” Putting the phone on speaker I lay it on the table so Tom could talk too. “How are you?’ I asked. 

“What am I going to do with you Dil? I leave you for less than a day and look at the mischief you get up to,” she chuckled down the line. “Can’t leave you alone for a minute, can we?” 

“I had to Diana, I couldn’t...” 

She cut me off, “I’m proud of you for taking a stand Dil. Good for you.” 

We chatted for another couple of minutes then she ended the call. 

“I miss her,” I said to Tom who had suddenly gone quiet. “What’s up?” I asked. 

“Well my darling, you messed up my plans for the other night and I’m still pissed off about it,” he said 

“What brought this on?” I asked. 

“Just hearing mum reminded me, I had plans for the night she went home but you decided to do your own thing and to hell with what I wanted,” he grumbled. 

Sighing, I looked up, “I’m sorry. I just...” 

“I know,” he said. “But I just want you to know that I’m stilled a bit pissed about it.” 

“Can’t we just drop it? I’ve said sorry. I don’t want to argue with you, but seriously you need to let it go.” 

… 

Having showered, I took my time dressing. I’d felt dirty and ugly after the last couple of days and wanted to feel clean and nice. You know those occasions where you just want to feel ‘pretty?’ Yeah, that’s how I was feeling, so chose one of the bustiers I’d purchased the other day, teamed it with a black shirt and loose-fitting black pants. I might not look different, but underneath I felt different, pretty. It’s funny the way nice lingerie can make you feel so much better. 

Heading to the kitchen I had a coffee, then once I’d taken the last mouthful, put my cup in the sink and grabbed the car keys. 

“I’ll be back soonish. I think,” I said as I grabbed my phone and headed for the door. 

Looking up from the couch where he was reading Tom asked, “Where you going? I thought this was over?” 

“Kevin’s wife,” I answered. “I told you I was going over there.” 

“Do you want me to come with you?” he questioned. 

“No, I want to do it. I’ll see you soon ok?” I said dropping a kiss on his forehead. 

Stopping at the florist for a bunch of flowers, I arrived at Kevin’s feeling quite nervous. Knocking on the door, I only waited a few seconds before Kevin’s wife answered. 

Introducing myself, I handed the flowers to her, explained why I was there and offered my apology. 

She accepted the apology and told me that, whilst she wasn’t happy about what had happened, she understood why I did what I did. Turns out she’s not a fan of her husband’s profession and has been at him for quite a while to go legit and set up his own studio. I wished her luck then told her I was taking all the photos of her down. She thanked me, then said how impressed she was with the website and what I’d achieved. I thanked her, apologised again and took my leave. She seemed like a really nice lady and I was glad that I’d gone to see her. 

Getting back in the car, I noticed I had a text message from Tom. He was out running a few errands and would be home in a couple of hours. I gave a little cheer inside. I love him to bits but I was looking forward to a couple of hours on my own. If I had to hear how I’d messed up his plans one more time, I think I'd lose my cool with him. 

Once home, I took my shirt off and threw it over the back of the couch, kicked off my shoes, took my pants off, turned the music on and the sound up. How does that saying go, 'dance like nobody’s watching’ ... yeah, that’s me. 

Knowing I still had an hour before Tom got home, I put some really grungy music on, closed my eyes and lost myself completely to the beat. I was having a brilliant time when the song ended so I kept swaying waiting for the next one to come on. Just as the music started, I sensed movement. Opening my eyes, I found Tom leaning against the doorframe watching me closely, slight smile on his face. 

I opened my mouth to speak but he held his finger up to his lips and shook his head, “Don’t talk. Don’t stop,” he whispered as the next song started. “Just dance. Like you were. And why haven’t I seen that before?” he asked walking over to stand behind me, running his finger along the strap of the bustier as he put an arm across my stomach and started dancing. 

Yeah, I really, really love dancing. 

**The chapter titled 'I Really Like Dancing' available in Virtual Adventures of the Adult Kind follows on from this chapter. 18+ only. Please read all warnings**

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**THE IDEA TAKES OFF**

“I love you more than I usually love you if you’ve got what it smells like you’ve got,” I said, eyes still closed as I lay in bed.

“Then I guess you love me more than you usually love me,” he said as I heard the cup being put down then felt his lips on my exposed shoulder. “Morning love, how’d you sleep?”

“Well, I think. I was asleep so I don’t know,” I laughed.

“Coffee’s on the side table,” Tom said. “don’t knock it when you...”

Rolling over I stretched my body, arms up, legs stretched, toes pointed and let out an involuntary cry “ahhhh,” wincing, as my back let me know it wasn’t happy. Opening my eyes I looked up into his concerned face leaning over me.

“...stretch. What is it? Where are you hurt?” he said, worry etched on his face.

“Calm down sunshine,” I murmured as I sat up and tried to shake the last of the sleep from my head. “Just the muscles stretching out. I’m fine.”

“Which muscles?” he asked.

Glancing up at him, I took the coffee cup he was holding out and took a big sip trying my best to ignore the question. “Is it late?” I asked.

“No and I asked where you’re sore,” he answered.

“Not sore, just a bit tight. Lower back. It’s fine, I’ll stretch it out once I get up,” I assured him.

“The couch?” he asked, concern in his face.

Shaking my head, I replied, “Me being unfit. Now drop it.”

Giving me a dubious look, he said, “While I have you semi captive, I wanted to talk to you about something,”

“Why do I have a feeling this ‘something,’ you want to talk about is something I’d be happy not to talk about?” I asked taking another mouthful of coffee, relishing the slight buzz I got from the caffeine invading my system.

“I just thought before we get bogged down in day to day life, we should discuss something while it’s still fresh in our minds,” he said.

Opening my eyes and looking down at my left hand, I drank the last of my coffee, looked over to him. “I don’t think I've had enough of this,” holding up my cup, “for this talk.”

“I don’t want to give you a hard time over it,” he said. “But, can we at least work out a rough time frame?”

“Sure, sometime between now and when I’m no longer inhabiting this planet,” I smiled. “You told me we could have a long engagement.”

Seeing the look on his face, I instantly regretted my words, “Are you really so against it?” he said.

“If I was against it, I wouldn’t have said yes,” I told him. “Look, I don’t know when ok? We’re going to be at loggerheads over this I can see it. We’ll disagree on when, where, who should be there, pretty much everything. But no, I’m not against it. I just don’t want to argue with you over it.”

“So, let’s play the ‘what if’ game,” he said. “What if I said you could have your perfect wedding? What would it be?”

Putting my head down, rubbing my forehead with my fingers, I side glanced him, “You sure you want to hear this? I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

“Sure, hit me with it,” he answered.

“You, me, registry office. That’s it. It’s not about the show for me. I’d prefer something between us. I don’t need the world to witness what I already know, and that’s that I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you and would have been perfectly happy to do so without this,” I finished by holding my left hand up and wiggling my ring finger.

He sat there quietly for a while, facial expression hard to read. I shrugged, “You wanted to know.”

“Not unexpected,” he said. “I thought you might want to include family, a few friends maybe.”

The message tone went off on my phone, interrupting us. I picked it up off the night stand and saw it was a message from Elsa ‘check your page thing.’

Seeing my frown, Tom said, “What is it love?”

“I don’t know,” I answered, “Elsa sent me a message telling me to check my page thi....Oh. My!”

Turning my phone so Tom could see, we both sat there not quite believing what we were seeing.

Literally tens of thousands of messages of support, photos from around the world of people and celebrities papping the paps, and requests for interviews with me.

Tom climbed onto the bed beside me and we both sat there for a couple of minutes scrolling through photos and messages. Leaning over, he bumped me gently with his head, “How does it feel?”

“How does what feel?” I asked, distracted.

“Seriously love, I worry about you sometimes. This,” he said pointing to my phone. “How does this feel? Knowing you did what you set out to do.”

“I’m...speechless to be honest. I was surprised by what you showed me yesterday. I never expected...this.”

“There’s a lot of interview requests here love. Do you want me to get someone to handle everything? I can call Luke get him to take care of it all,” he said.

Shaking my head, “I’m not doing interviews. That’s your gig, not mine.”

“Not anymore my darling, this is all your doing. This is your gig, you’re the star of this show.”

“I’m not a star of anything. I don’t...I can’t, damn. I never thought it would, I didn’t expect it to...bugger,” I said, words failing me.

“Look love, I know you don’t want to but I think it’s probably in your best interests to do at least one interview. Choose carefully and you can possibly get away with doing just the one. State your case and make it clear you’re not doing anymore,” he reasoned.

Sighing a sigh of resignation, shoulders slumped in defeat, I knew he was right. “I’m doing this under protest,“ I told him.

“I know you are,” he said. “Any thoughts as to who you want to do it with?”

Laughing, I said, “Yeah, you. You’re the only one I wanna do it with.”

Knocking me with his shoulder in a playful gesture, “Not ‘it’,” he chuckled. “It, as in the interview you filthy minded woman.”

“My ‘it’ sounds like more fun,” I reasoned. “And there’s only one person I’d consider doing the interview with.”

Turning to look at each other, grins on our faces we both said, “Josh.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**ANXIETY**

“You definitely want to be interviewed by Josh?” Tom asked. “You’re absolutely sure?”

“I don’t want to be interviewed at all but, if I have to be, then yes, Josh,” I answered. “I trust him. He’s never let you down so I figure I’m safe with him.”

Working out the time difference between Josh and us, Tom decided to send him a text: ‘Hey man, sure you’ve seen what’s been happening. We’d like you to handle the interview. Let us know a good time to call. Hope you’re doing well.’

“Right love, I’ll get these back to the kitchen,” he said indicating the coffee mugs he was holding. “Are you getting up?”

“I guess I should,” I said as I continued to lay there.

“Well?” he asked. “You getting up or not?”

“I thought if I lay here long enough it might all just go away and I won’t have to do anything,” I chuckled.

“That’s not going to happen. Come on, up you get,” he said.

I threw the bedcovers back as he walked out of the room and headed for the bathroom where I checked my lower back in the mirror. Seeing the bruising didn’t surprise me a great deal. It had felt quite tender during the night, then again when I’d stretched again this morning. One of the downsides of our nighttime games but, a couple of days and it would be gone...and it was worth it, I smiled to myself.

Leaning over the basin and splashing water on my face, I hadn’t heard Tom come up behind me.

“It looks sore,” he said tenderly. “You should have said something.”

Looking at him in the mirror I said, “It’s fine, I've had worse. Have you heard back from Josh?”

“Yes, that’s what I was coming to tell you. Are you sure that’s ok?” he asked, pointing to my back.

“I said it’s fine,” I told him. “So, Josh?”

“What?” he asked still looking at me in the mirror. “Oh yes, Josh. He’s going to set everything up and rather than interview you, the three of us are just going to sit and have a chat.”

“We are?” I asked. “How? He’s there, we’re here.”

“The wonders of the internet darling. It’s possible to speak to people in other countries these days you know.” he said.

“Smart ass,” I laughed. “I wasn’t sure what you meant when you said ‘sit and have a chat.’ I thought maybe Josh was on his way here or something. Damn shame really, I would have loved to have seen him.”

“Admittedly this won’t be quite the same as sitting here with him but at least you’ll be comfortable with him,” Tom said.

“Yeah, that’s true,” I agreed. “What time...” I trailed off having just had an absolutely horrifying thought.

Tom’s face was full of worry, “What is it love? What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do it,” I said.

“What? Why? It’s Josh for goodness sake love. You’ve had pillow fights and pizza with the man. He’s a friend,” Tom said slightly exasperated with me.

“But it’s going to be broadcast and I have to go on camera and I don’t do camera, that’s your gig and people are going to see me and I don’t do that side of things and I won’t know what to say and I never wanted to be in the public eye and that’s one of the reasons I never wanted to be with you in the first place and I never thought this would take off the way it did....” speech getting faster and faster, I started shaking, heart racing, breathing out of control, couldn’t stand still, wringing my hands.

Tom reached out and held my hands in his, “Breathe, eyes on me. Tell me 5 things you can see, come on you can do it,” he gently coaxed.

Still shaking and breathing rapidly, I frantically looked around. “I see you. Sink. Brush...” snatching my hands from his, I started wringing them again.

“Keep going love. Me, sink, brush. 2 more,” he said.

“...drain, shower,” I finished.

Watching me closely he said, “Now, 4 things you can touch.”

Shaking my hands in front of me as if flicking water off them I looked around, “Touch. Um, wall, door, light switch, you.”

“You’re doing well love. Now 3 things you can hear,” he said reaching out and holding my hands gently in his.

“Breathing, birds, you.”

“Going great darling. Breathe in, out. Now, tell me 2 things you can smell,” his voice calm and soothing.

“Smell. Um soap, toothpaste,” I answered.

“Now tell me one thing you can taste,” he said moving closer.

“Coffee,” I said leaning in to kiss him.

He kissed me lightly, then rested his forehead against mine. “There, that’s a bit better. Focus on me. You’re ok, I’m here with you.”

“I need to get out of here, the walls are closing in,” I said as I made a fast exit out of our ensuite bathroom.

“It’s been a while since that happened, do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

“Not yet,” I answered. “Soon. I want coffee.”

Heading to the living room and sitting on the couch, I was greeted by Paddy and Bobby who both sat at my feet, heads in my lap.

Still feeling a little jittery, I took the coffee Tom offered, had a sip and gave both dogs a pat on the head.

“Sorry about that,” I said looking up at Tom. “Came from nowhere.”

“You’ve nothing to apologise for my love. Feeling better now?” he asked.

“Still a bit jittery but yeah, only about a 3 now instead of an 8,” I answered.

Sliding onto the couch beside me, needing to give Paddy a slight nudge to move him, he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him, “Do you want me to cancel with Josh?”

Shaking my head, I took a few deep breaths, “No. I’m good now. I want to get it over with. It’s getting late for Josh, let’s just do it. Just let me get dressed.”

Dressing in jeans and shirt, light makeup and a quick comb through my hair; I was about as ready as I was ever going to be.

Heading back to the living room, Tom had the laptop set up so we could sit together through our ‘chat’ with Josh.

One more deep breath. “Ok,” I said. “Let’s do this.”

“I’m right here beside you love. You can do this,” he said then leaned over and kissed me.

“Oh my God, you two. Get a room.”

Breaking apart and giggling like little kids, we turned and looked at the laptop to see Josh’s mile wide smile.

**

I’m sure you all know, but just in case there’s some of you that don’t - Josh is Josh Horowitz who has interviewed Tom numerous times and, through the years, they’ve become friends. We’ll get their chat in the next bit of the story.

The technique used to help overcome the anxiety attack in the story is one I’ve used personally which is why I felt confident in writing it in to the story. I’m not saying it works for everyone, but for me it helps a lot.


	40. The Chatty Interview, Hey Cuz, Does This Mean?

**THE CHATTY INTERVIEW**

“Hey guys, how’s things?” a smiling Josh asked. “You’re both looking well.” 

“Hey man. We’re both well. How you doing?” Tom asked. 

“Doing really good,” Josh replied. “I just want you to know that I’m genuinely thrilled about your engagement.” 

“Thanks Josh,” I said. “We took our time but we got there.” 

“ _She_ took her time, but we got there,” Tom chuckled. “Thanks man, we appreciate it.” 

Sitting on the couch, side by side with Tom holding my hand I was starting to feel more like myself again. The anxiety of before almost forgotten about. 

“Has he shown off and bought you the biggest rock he could find, or did he do the typical Hiddleston thing and keep it tasteful, stylish and understated?” Josh laughed. “Flash the sparkly thing missy.” 

Laughing, I showed Josh the ring as Tom sat quietly, smug look on his face. 

“Typical Hiddleston,” Josh said. “Stylish, tasteful and understated. You did well my man.” 

Tom, tongue in cheek, said, “Of course I chose well. I have impeccable taste.” 

Rolling his eyes, Josh laughed, “Such a modest man. How do you live with him missy? Have you thought about when the big day might be? I’m assuming you’ll be keeping it fairly quiet.” 

“At this point we haven’t really thought about it. Neither of us want a fuss and would love to keep it quiet.” I said. 

“Do you think you’ll be able to?” Josh asked. 

“I’m hoping we can. We know everyone’s seen the ring but, Ed and Cherry kept their marriage pretty much a secret for a couple of months so, hopefully we can do the same. The attention will die down again, it always does.” Tom answered. 

We chatted about mutual friends for a while, then Josh asked, “How’s the knee missy? You back on it yet?” 

“Yeah, walking and gentle exercise...” 

Tom cut me off, “Don’t believe her Josh. She’s mowed the yard, been dancing all around the house and I even caught her trying to jog a couple of steps.” Turning to me he said, “Yes, I did see.” 

“... doing really well. Back to the surgeon in another week, hopefully for the final time and, with luck, I’ll get the all clear to get back to work. I won’t be able to go all out for a while yet but, I’d really like to start doing something,” I answered. 

“What about your ‘papping the paps’ won’t that keep you busy? What made you think of doing something like that?” Josh asked. “I think it’s brilliant, by the way.” 

“Thanks. I just lost my shit one day. We’d been out for brunch and this guy jumped at Tom and asked for a photo. We thought nothing of it at the time, thinking it was another fan, then later that day we saw photos of us eating, drinking coffee, reading and just living our lives. The final straw for me was the photo of Tom kissing my hand, even if it was a great photo. It just pissed me off that a private moment was suddenly out there for the world to see and we had no control over it, then when Diana got involved that was the end. It just got me thinking about whether the paparazzi had any idea how intrusive it is to possibly have a camera in your face every time you set foot out the front door,” I answered. 

“When I saw what you’d done I laughed. I thought it was great. Tom, did you go with her?” Josh asked. 

“I was actually against the whole thing, wasn’t I darling?” he said, rubbing my leg. “I wasn’t keen on the idea of her putting herself at risk of being followed and photographed even more.” 

Giving him a playful smack, I laughed, “Liar! You were pissed because your mum had gone home, we had the house to ourselves and you wanted to get lucky. It had nothing to do with my safety.” 

Josh burst out laughing,”Ooooo, burn Hiddleston. Nice one missy.” 

“Speaking of getting lucky,” Tom said. “How’s Jennifer?” 

“She’s good. Sick of me being around under foot all the time,” Josh replied with a chuckle. 

Talking of Jennifer led to us chatting about family for a while, which in turn led back to times we’d spent together and how we were all looking forward to catching up again in the future. 

"Obviously you weren’t expecting this idea of yours to take off quite the way it did but, did you have any expectations at all?” Josh asked. 

“Tom told me that I’d never stop them and I knew I wouldn’t. I didn’t really have an expectations going into it. To be honest I didn’t even think any of it through. I just knew that I was tired of not being able to go out and live a normal life. I’m not a celebrity, Tom is; but because of his celebrity I lose my anonymity. That’s not fair. In fact, it’s not fair on anyone. At the end of the day Tom, like anyone else in the public eye, is a person, and he has the same wants, needs and desires as anyone _not_ in the public eye. I have no problem with photos being taken when he’s at work, doing press, red carpet, any of those things. I don’t even have a problem with fans approaching him and wanting a photo or a chat, it’s only a couple of minutes and they go away happy. It’s the paparazzi, the parasites that make a living out of invading his privacy. I set out to show just one of them how it felt to have your every move recorded, then have it put online for worldwide scrutiny and to have absolutely no control over what happens with that image, or the comments made. It was my hope that I could get just one of them to see what it was like from our viewpoint.” 

“Well, you’ve achieved that and then some,” Josh said. “When did you realise how big this had become?” 

"Only a few hours ago... God was it only a few hours... Seems like a lifetime in some ways. But yeah, Elsa messaged us this morning and told us to check the page. Tom had shown me yesterday that it had gained momentum, and I think at that point there were maybe a couple thousand messages and a few photos of paps being papped, but this morning when Elsa messaged, we checked it and got a hell of a shock.” I told Josh. 

“You took some photos that have since been taken down. Who where they of and why were they removed?” Josh asked. 

“I took some photos of the wife of one of the paps and posted them for the reason I gave you before. I wanted him to see how it felt to have all aspects of your life up for grabs and have absolutely no control over what was posted. As I explained earlier, I’m not a celebrity but I live with one, therefore you could say my photo is taken by association however, this woman had no public face whatsoever and I didn’t feel right about using her image to prove a point, so I removed it. I’ve since been to see her, offered her an apology, which she accepted, and I felt much better after that.” I told him. 

“Are you going to keep the page going now that’s it’s gained momentum and really raised awareness of the problems celebrities and those in the public eye face when it comes to paparazzi?” Josh asked. 

“I’d like to keep it going for as long as it takes to really make a difference, but with the prospect of going back to work in the near future, I’ll have to wait and see how my time management skills go. I’m not willing to have my life taken up with it because that defeats the purpose of raising awareness of how the paparazzi invade our lives in that I’d still be dealing with them, albeit in a roundabout way,” I answered. 

“I think we’ve got enough to work with now guys,” Josh said. “We can leave it there if you like. If I do think of anything else, I’ll get in contact with you. I’ll run through it tomorrow, edit it then get you to have a look before I release it.” 

“Thanks man,” Tom said. “It’s been really good talking to you. Sorry we’ve kept you up so late, but you were the only choice as far as we were concerned.” 

“Guys it’s been awesome to chat with you. Congratulations on the engagement and, I mean this from the bottom of my heart, I’m absolutely thrilled for you both. Oh, did you want the engagement kept quiet or do you want it acknowledged?” Josh asked. 

Looking to Tom, I shrugged, “We’ve always maintained silence on private matters. What do you think?” 

“Do we really need to confirm or deny it? Clearly you have a ring on your finger, let them draw their own conclusions yeah?” he asked me. 

“Sounds good to me,” I replied. 

Turning to Josh, Tom said, “It’s fine to mention but just don’t say anything about us confirming it if you wouldn’t mind. Obviously we’re happy for you to know, and I apologise for not letting you know sooner, but we’ve never given statements before and don’t want to start now.” 

“I completely understand, and there’s no need to apologise.” Josh said. “Right guys, given the time over here, I might wrap it up. I’ll be in touch either later tonight or tomorrow my time. Look after yourselves.” 

“Get some sleep, talk to you soon,” Tom said. 

“Love to Jennifer and thanks for being gentle with me,” I laughed. “Goodnight Josh.” 

Tom turned to me and pulled me in for a big hug, “You were brilliant love. You feeling ok now?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine now. To be honest, it just felt like Josh being Josh when he gets inquisitive. So glad it’s over though.” 

Tom laughed as he turned the laptop towards me with the ‘Papping the Paps’ page open, “I think it's only just begun love.” 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**HEY CUZ**

Staring at the screen on the laptop as Tom scrolled through the messages, requests and photos I could only sit and shake my head. Who would have thought that a temper tantrum, and let’s face it that’s what it was, could have produced results like this? Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined a response like this. It was wonderful knowing that there were so many people supporting what I’d set out to do, but it was incredibly overwhelming at the same time. 

“I feel like I should touch base with everyone that’s sent a message,” I said to Tom. “I think I'm going to need more coffee.” 

He looked at me incredulously, “Please tell me you’re not honestly considering replying to every single one of those messages? There’s hundreds of thousands love. You can’t possibly get back to everyone. You’ll be there for weeks on end.” 

“Well, I can’t ignore them all. They’ve taken the time to write a message of support and post photos, the least I can do is acknowledge that,” I told him. 

“Sweetheart, whilst I admire where you’re coming from with this, you seriously cannot reply to everyone individually. Believe me, I know,” he said. 

“I understand what you’re saying, I really do but, you chose to do what you do and people accept that it’s unlikely they’ll get a response from you but this is different. This was me putting it out there, trying to raise awareness; and I have. I have to acknowledge that. I know it’s going to be time consuming but I can’t just not respond,” I explained. 

“You’ve done the interview and I’m sure Josh will edit it in a way that explains your gratitude. No one is going to expect individual responses from you, or hold it against you if you don’t,” he reasoned. 

“I have to say something. I can’t just leave it and not say anything. I need more coffee,” I said rubbing my fingers across my forehead. “I know I’m asking a lot because you were against me doing it but, would you help me go through some of these? Please?” 

“How about I make fresh coffee, we’ll have some breakfast then we can post a quick statement thanking everyone for their support and letting them know that Josh will air the interview in the coming days?” he asked. 

Twenty minutes later, sipping a fresh coffee and eating the scrambled eggs Tom had made for us, I was still shaking my head in disbelief. 

“Thank you for breakfast babe,” I said putting the empty plate down and sipping my coffee. “I really appreciate it.” 

“My pleasure,” he said reaching out and closing the laptop. 

Looking up at him, I frowned, “Hey, I was reading.” 

Moving the laptop out of the way and taking my hand, “You can read again later. Right now, I want to talk to you about something.” 

I looked at him, “I really want to get started on that. Can it wait?” 

“Actually, no. It can’t. I’m pretty easy going most of the time love, let you have your own way and don’t make many demands on you,” he paused as I raised my eyebrows at him. “What? It’s true. Bedroom is different. No listen, this is important to me and the least you can do is hear me out.” 

Knowing he was right, I sat and looked at him expectantly, “Ok, I’m listening.” 

“Are you? Or are you only going to hear what you want to hear, which you’re very good at doing when you don’t really want to listen,” he said. 

Seeing the look on his face, I realised whatever was coming was really important to him. “I’m listening babe. What’s up?” 

“I want you to think about us getting married. I know I said I didn’t care if we had a long engagement and, if that's what you want then that’s ok, I’d just like to know if it’s likely to happen anytime soon. I’d like it to, but it’s up to you,” he said. 

“Seriously?” I asked, quite horrified, “With all of this going on,” I pointed at the laptop and made a vague gesture towards outside, “You want me to think about a wedding?” 

“Yes, actually. I do,” he answered. “I looked it up and we have to register our intent to marry at least 4 weeks before the date but we can have up to 18 months before we’d have to redo it.” 

“That soon!” I exclaimed. 

“A year and half? Too soon?” he questioned getting up from the couch. “A year and half is too soon?” 

Picking up the plates and coffee cups, he went to the kitchen and put everything in the dishwasher before slamming the door shut on it. 

Turning to me, he said, “I didn’t realise marriage to me was quite so horrifying. I’ll be in the office.” 

Sighing, I was going to call out after him but decided to give him a bit of time to cool down. Pulling the laptop over, I opened it and started looking at all the messages I’d received for ‘papping the paps’. People were saying there were noticeably less paparazzi out and about, as if they were in hiding and laying low until this all passed over. Those in the public eye were relishing having just that bit more freedom to move around without having cameras trained on them constantly. 

‘Maybe we should take advantage of a bit more privacy and go shopping, or out to lunch...and that’s when the idea hit me...or get married. It would be the perfect time. According to the page, there weren’t as many paps around and they’d be a bit shy about taking pics of Tom and I at the moment anyway, I would have thought. ‘Tom, you’re brilliant!’ I thought to myself. 

What did he say, 4 weeks? Having a look online, I saw he was right but there were exceptions. Having a look what the exceptions were I realised we’d qualify for an exemption from the wait time because of his work. All we needed was to fill out some paperwork, provide our documents and find a celebrant that was willing to do it on short notice. 

Smiling, I picked up my phone and dialed. “Hey cuz, how soon can you get me married?” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Please note: For the story to run smoothly I’ve used a lot of artistic  licence in regards to the exemptions to marriage laws and time frames within Australia. 

Smiling, I picked up my phone and dialed, “Hey  cuz , how soon can you get me married?”

“4 weeks if you get your paperwork in,” Malcolm said.

“I think we qualify for the extenuating circumstances exemption,” I told him.

After listening to me explain why I thought we’d qualify, he agreed then informed me of what we needed to do. If we got everything lodged, he could marry us anytime in the next couple of days. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked me. “You’ve never been keen on the idea.”

“It means a lot to Tom,” I answered.

“Let’s forget about Tom’s feelings for a minute. I asked if  _ you _ wanted to do this,” he said.

“I.. . ” pausing for a moment, I  thought about what he’d just asked. Was I doing it for Tom or was I doing because it was what I wanted? 

“A month  ago, I would have said ‘hell no’. Now, I just want to do it. Yes, I’m doing it because it means a lot to Tom, but it means a lot to me too. I can’t explain it but it just suddenly feels right. It’s time to do it...and I want to do it before I start second guessing myself and coming up with all the excuses under the sun why we shouldn’t. So yes, I’m absolutely certain I want to do this Malcolm. I’ll get back to you once I get everything lodged and, thank you. I really appreciate it.”

“Happy to do it, plus I’ll be there for an event everyone in this family said would never happen,” he laughed. “Before you go though, there’s a couple of things I need to know. Knowing you I’m going to guess that it’s a private ceremony, small?”

“Absolutely yes,” I answered.

“Now, did you want me to come down to you or will you be coming up to me?” he wanted to know.

“Would Mum’s place suit you?” I asked. 

“That works for me,” he replied. “Ok, I'll wait to hear from you then we can work out the time and date. Mid-week works best for me if you can manage it. Oh, before I go; will you be reading your own vows or are you going run of the mill?”

“We’ll be reading our own,” I told him. Well, I assumed we’d be reading our own.

“No problem, I’ll wait to hear from you,” Malcolm said.

Ending the call with him I rang my parents. “Hey  mumma , I need to ask a favour.”

“You can ask, but I won’t promise I'll grant,” my mother said. 

Surprised that she hadn’t gone off on nine other tangents like she usually  does, I said, “We’re getting married....”

She cut me off, “You told me that already. We’re getting the back room done, did I tell you that. No, I didn’t  did I? Well, now you know. We’re  gett ....”

“Mum!” I said. “Focus for a minute. This is important. We’re getting married in a couple of days. I was wondering if we could come up to you and get married at your place. It’s so pretty up there, and private. Mumma you can’t tell anyone ok? Promise me you won't tell anyone.”

“Who the hell am I going to tell? The cows? You want to get married here?” she asked sounding slightly stunned.

“Well, I’d like to if that’s ok with you,” I told her. “I’ve spoken to Malcolm and he’s happy to do the ceremony and he said your place is fine with him. Is that ok?”

“You want to get married here? You, who lives in a gorgeous house in a beautiful area, wants to get married here where there’s nothing?” she asked again.

Chuckling, I replied, “Yeah, I do. It’s gorgeous up there and it’s not like there’s absolutely nothing, you’ve got the pub, that beautiful little restaurant and the general store, if you could call it that,” I laughed, “My bathroom is bigger but hey, you can buy groceries. Is it ok or not?”

“How many people are you going to have invading my space?” she asked.

“It’s going to be tiny. You and dad, Tom and me, maybe a couple of others but I want it kept small,” I said.

“What about Tom’s mother, she just went home didn’t she? Will you be able to do that camera thing you use on the computer?” she questioned.

Chuckling to myself, I answered, “Yes, we can do the camera thing on the computer.  So, is it ok?”

“I guess so,” she replied. “How does Tom feel about it?”

Oh hell! Tom. “Um, yeah, he’s ok about it...I think,” I answered.

“What do you mean you think? Is he ok with it or not?” Mum said.

“Well, um, I haven’t exact...”

Cutting me off, “You’re not seriously going to tell me you haven’t asked him if up here is fine. For God’s sake child, go and see if he’s ok with it. He might want it somewhere else. Go ask, I’ll wait.”

“I’m not a child and I might have to call you back. It’s not just the venue he doesn’t know about  mumma . He doesn’t know where getting married yet. I got so busy trying to figure it all out, I forgot to tell him,” I said.

I could almost hear the words forming in my mother's mind and decided right now might be a good time to go. “I’ll call you back soon mum, love you, bye.”

Taking a deep breath, I stood up and headed for the office. Tapping gently on the door, I pushed it open and walked in. Taking his glasses off and putting down the papers he was reading, Tom looked over, “Were you on the phone? I thought I heard you talking.” 

“Yeah, I was. Have you got a minute or are you busy?” 

“If it’s about helping you, I will but I just want to finish going through this first,” he answered, indicating the papers on the desk in front of him.

“It’s not about helping me. Do you have anything on over the next couple of days, anything that can’t be rescheduled?” I asked.

“I’d have to check. I’ve actually just received an email about filming resuming within the week. Once we start filming, I’ll be in and out at all hours but you already know what it’s like,” he said.

“I’m not worried about in a week, I need to know if there’s anything in the next say, 1 to maybe 4 days,” I told him.

“4 days is going to be pushing it for me to do anything, there’s a good chance we’ll be underway,” he said opening his diary. “Nothing of major importance really. You haven’t told me why.”

I asked, “You know where all your personal documentation is don’t you?” then I laughed, “look who I’m talking to;  of course you do. You might want to get your paperwork out babe. And make sure you’ve got enough fuel in the car for a trip to my parent’s place.”

“What the hell are you talking about love? I feel you’re leading up to something but I have no idea what as you’re jumping all over the place. What exactly, is it that you want?”

Moving around the desk so I was standing next to him, I leaned over and opened a page on the laptop, “We need to print that,” I said tapping the screen, “and that and. ..that .”

Looking at the screen then looking up at me, his eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Wait a minute,” he said looking back at the screen. “These are for...” He trailed off, then stood up. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” he asked, face full of hope.

“We need to get these filled out, get our personal documents in order, go down to the registry office and lodge everything. Today. Then I ring cousin Malcolm but yeah, it means what you think it means,” I answered. “In the next couple of days, we’re getting married.”


	41. The Verdict, All Systems Go, Dress Shopping, Drawing A Blank, Wedding Eve

“In a couple of days?” he asked. “Did you say a _couple of days_?” 

“If we get these forms filled out and lodge them along with all our documents then yes, we should qualify for the exemption on the ‘notice of intent’ because you can be called on to leave the country at any time for work. So, if you want to hit print on those forms, we can get them filled out and get down there today so I can ring Malcolm and organise a day and time,” I said. 

Finding myself being backed up against the wall, I raised an eyebrow, “Seriously? Now?” 

Tom chuckled, “No, not that. Just this.” Cupping my cheeks in his palm, fingers lacing at the back of my head, thumbs stroking my cheeks, he kissed me the way he knows I love to be kissed. As he lifted his mouth off mine, a sigh of contentment left my lips. Good thing I was against the wall, because my legs were a bit wobbly. Never fails to get me when he kisses me like that. 

“I still get a kick out of the fact that I can do that to you with just a kiss,” he smiled. “Now, let’s get all this done before you change your mind.” 

“I love that you can still do that to me and, I’m not changing my mind. I really want to do this,” I told him. 

“There are no words to describe how happy you’ve made me,” he said. 

“I can’t wait to be honest,” I smiled looking up at him. 

Pulling me close, he held me tight, “I’m so happy to hear you say that.” 

Printing the forms out, we filled in everything we could. Some of it had to be done with witnesses so that could wait until we got to the registry office. 

“You need to call your mum babe. She’s not going to be very happy with me,” I said. 

“Darling she’s not going to give a damn; she’ll just be thrilled that we’re doing it. It’ll be fine,” he told me. “I’ll call her in a couple of hours. Have you got everything you need?” 

“It’s all in the file,” I told him. “Do you have everything? Are we ready to go?” 

Walking out of the house, he grabbed me from behind and spun me around to face him. “I’m probably crazy for even thinking about giving you a chance to change your mind but, are you absolutely certain you want to go ahead with this?” he asked. 

“I’m absolutely certain I want to do this,” I told him. “I’d do it now if they’d let us.” 

Driving to the registry office with each of us caught up in our own thoughts, we were stopped at a red light when I suddenly looked over to him. “We can’t do this,” I said. 

“What? Why? I just asked and you assured me you wanted to. Darling, please don’t do this to me,” he pleaded. 

“I want to but I just thought of something that’s a complete gamechanger and we can’t do this until it’s fixed. Turn around, there’s no point in going,” I said. 

Turning down a side street, he pulled over on the side of the road then said, “What’s this ‘gamechanger’ that’s going to stop us going ahead with this marriage? If you say what I think you’re going to say, I want you to know that I’m going to be seriously pissed off. There’s no difference to what we’ve been doing and what we’re going to be doing in the eyes of the law.” 

“We need a pre-nup,” I stated matter of factly. “You have to have it. Not that I think we’ll ever split but, you have to protect what’s yours Tom.” 

“If I wasn’t so cranky right now, I’d laugh,” he told me. “I have never had any intention of making you sign a pre-nup. I know that no matter what happens in the future, you would never take me to the cleaners. Do you want to know how I know that?” 

“You don’t know,” I said. “Anything could happen.” 

“Actually, I do know darling. You wouldn’t take money, or anything else of mine, even if I tried to give it to you. Do you want to know how I know?” he asked. 

“Fine, how can you be so sure?” I questioned. 

“Because my love, you still work to support yourself no matter how much I object to the fact and how much I tell you what’s mine is yours. That’s how I know. And while we’re on the subject of work,” he said. 

“No, we’re not going there now. I’m not going to get into an argument with you over it. I’m not giving up my job. Forget it, not happening. Now, can we go home? I have a heap of messages I have to start sifting through.” I told him. 

“No, we can’t go home. We have papers to lodge so that I can marry you. I don’t care how much you object, we _are not_ having a pre-nup. If we were to break up today, you would still have the same rights as if we’d been married. No pre-nup, that’s final,” he said. 

“You know what? I’ll back down on this one simply because you’re right. I wouldn’t take your money anyway. So, if you’re sure you’re comfortable with us not having one, we’ll lodge the papers,” I told him. 

“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer. Next stop, registry office,” he chuckled. “We’re doing it. We’re actually doing it.” 

Parking the car, we went into the office hand in hand. Tom spoke to the person on the desk and then we were shown into a room where we were asked to wait. 

“I’m nervous,” I told Tom. 

“Why love? It’s not like we’re doing it here and how,” he chuckled. 

“No, I know that. What if they say no? What if they refuse the application for exemption?” I asked. 

“How about you don’t stress over it and we’ll cross that bridge _if_ we come to it,” he said. 

A couple of minutes later we were joined by Mike, a government employee who was going to witness the parts of the form we hadn’t filled out, then he’d run through everything with us, we’d get a chance to ask questions, he’d get a chance to ask questions, then he’d go and speak to the powers that be. He said usually it could be up to a 24 hour wait for any answer but given the circumstances they’d make a faster decision. 

“What do you mean by ‘given the circumstances’ exactly?” I asked. 

“You wouldn’t be the first celebrity couple we’ve rushed through,” he replied. 

“I’m not a celebrity,” was my automatic response, the same as it has been for years. “We’re not after special treatment. We want to be judged on our merits the same as any other couple.” 

Tom gave me one of his ‘please just shut up’ looks then looked over to Mike, “What my lovely fiancee is trying to say is we don’t expect to be treated any differently to anyone else.” 

“No, what I’m saying is that just because you’re a celebrity shouldn’t mean the rules are any different than they are for anyone else. Am I the only one seeing the double standards here?” I asked. 

Mike looked at Tom as though to say ‘is she serious’ then looked at me, “You’re not being given special treatment. All I'm saying is that we can speed the decision up. Your situation will still be judged on the same criteria as anyone else’s would be, and there’s always a chance you’ll get a rejection. All I'm saying is that you’ll probably get your decision before you leave here today.” Mike then gave a bit of a chuckle, “I must say I’m not used to ‘reverse celebrity’. We usually have demands made on us because of the celebrity status.” 

“I’m sorry, I don’t think anyone deserves to be treated differently just because they’re a public figure. I apologise if I was out of line,” I said. 

“It’s fine. Actually, it’s quite refreshing. Can I just say congratulations on your ‘papping the paps’ campaign too? I can’t tell you the amount of times we’ve had people being papped when they’ve come in here for one reason or another. I really hope you can make a difference,” Mike said. 

“Thanks,” I replied. “It’s taken off way more than I expected. Once we get today sorted and find out whether we’re a yes or a no, I’ll be able to devote the time it needs to get it in order. So, I sign this here?” I asked. 

“Yes, that’s right. And here, and...here,” Mike said. “Mr Hiddleston,” 

“Tom please,” Tom interrupted. 

“Ok, Tom. If you’d just sign here, yeah that’s it. And here...and, one more just here. Great. Let me have a look through all of this,” Mike said flicking through all the forms and documents we had. “Good, I just need to take copies of all of these, then we can pass it along. I shouldn’t be too long.” 

After Mike had left the room, I looked a little sheepish, “I should probably learn to shut up, shouldn’t I?” 

Grinning Tom replied, “Not shut up darling, just maybe pick your times a little better.” 

Holding hands, we sat there in comfortable silence. I didn’t want to get my hopes up too much but I was thinking of things I needed to take care if we got the go ahead. 

Tom still had to ring Diana; I hoped she wouldn’t be too upset with me. I felt bad for Tom, his only family was on the other side of the world. Maybe we should have waited, that way he could have had Diana, Sarah and Emma here. I don’t know if James would have travelled. Or maybe we could have gone over there and got married there, but then, my family wouldn’t travel and... 

“Get out of your head and stop overthinking,” Tom said, squeezing my hand. “I can practically hear your thoughts from here. I don’t mind that my family aren’t here. We’ll link up and they can watch.” 

“How did you know what I was thinking?” I asked. 

“As I said darling, I could almost hear your thoughts. I don’t care if it’s you, me, Mike and another government employee as a witness. It’s not about the show, it’s about us,” he said kissing my hand as Mike walked back in. 

“Right, so there’s all the originals of your documents. We’ve got copies that will stay with your other paperwork. It shouldn’t be too much longer. Do you have any questions?” Mike asked. 

“Should we get the go ahead, how soon can we actually marry?” Tom asked. 

“As soon as you get a celebrant that can do it. You can walk out of here and be married immediately if that’s what you want,” Mike answered. 

“And what if we get a no? What happens then?’ I asked. 

“You submit your Notice of Intent as you normally would then 4 weeks later you’re free to marry,” he replied. “Anything else?” 

Tom and I both shook our heads, “No, I can’t think of anything,” Tom said. 

“Right, well I’ll go check how things are going. Hopefully when I come back, I’ll have an answer for you,” Mike said as he left the room. 

“My turn to be nervous,” Tom laughed. “Are you ok love? You’re very quiet.” 

“Nervous, I just want to know,” I shrugged. “Do you really think Diana will be ok not being here for it?” 

“I’m sure she will be darling. She was thrilled to be here to see us engaged. It’s not like she hasn’t been able to celebrate with us. She’ll be happy that we’re doing it. You’ll see,” he said. 

“I’m trying really hard to be patient but it seems to be taking forever.” 

“We’ve been here for 12 minutes,” Tom told me. 

“All up or just since Mike left?” I asked with a smirk. 

“Shouldn’t be too much...” he stopped as the door opened and Mike came in. 

Tom and I both looked up expectantly, totally abandoning any attempt at trying to be cool. 

Mike shuffled a few papers not realising we were both sitting like eager school kids waiting to find out test results. 

Looking up, Mike handed the papers to Tom, “You best find yourselves a celebrant. Congratulations. 

Tom and I, smiles a mile wide jumped up and thanked Mike, handshakes all round then Tom swept me off my feet in a massive hug. Neither of us realising just how nervous we’d actually been. 

“We’re getting married baby,” he said and, in an extremely rare display of public affection, kissed me in front of Mike.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**ALL SYSTEMS GO**

Pulling back from the kiss, we both looked up and I chuckled, “Sorry about that Mike, it would seem we were both a little more nervous than we thought.” 

“All good folks, it’s nice to see. Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful day,” Mike said. 

Walking out of the registry office we headed for the car. 

“So, what now?” I asked Tom. 

“I think before we do anything else, we need to pick the day. Tomorrow seems a little too close. I’ve only got a few days left before I start filming and I’d love to have at least one full day with you which really only leaves the day after tomorrow,” he said. 

“I’ll call Malcolm and see what he says. What time?” I asked. 

“God love, I don’t know. Mid morning? We can have lunch with your parents and still be home at a reasonable time giving us the night and all the next day,” he answered. 

Starting the car and driving off, Tom concentrated on driving while I called Malcolm. 

“Hey cuz,” I said when he answered. “They gave us the go ahead. I’ve got the paperwork here. We were wondering if you can do mid morning, day after tomorrow?” 

“How does 10 a.m sound? That suit both of you?” Malcolm asked. 

Looking over to Tom, “10 a.m suit you or earlier?” 

“10 sounds good,” Tom said. “Should only take me about 20 minutes to get to your parent’s house so I won’t have to rush and it’ll give you time to have a nice breakfast with them.” 

“I beg your pardon?” I said. “What do you mean 20 minutes for you? Where the hell are you going to be?” I snapped. 

“We’re doing this properly love. I’ll take you to your parent’s tomorrow evening and we’ll spend the night apart so I don’t see you before the ceremony,” Tom said. 

“Like hell you will,” I stormed. “No! We’ve been living together for years, don’t be ridiculous.” 

“We’ll be doing it the traditional way and that’s and end to it,” Tom said using the voice I knew meant there was no arguing. His mind was made up and nothing, and I do mean nothing, would change it. 

I could hear laughing on the other end of the phone. “What the hell are you laughing at?” I said. 

“I knew the family loved him for a reason. You just got put in your place big time dear cousin,” Malcolm said still laughing. 

“Oh, bite me,” I chuckled down the phone. “I’ll see you day after tomorrow. And Malcolm? Thank you, I really appreciate it, sorry, _we_ really appreciate it,” I corrected after Tom mouthed ‘we’. 

“No worries little cousin. Talk to you soon.” 

Ending the call, it suddenly hit me how much we had to do and how little time we had. If he was determined we were spending the night apart and he was dumping me with my parents then we had to get moving. 

“Babe, do you realise how much we’ve got to get done?” I asked. 

“I was just thinking that very thing,” he replied. 

“Where do we start?” We said at the same time. 

It was decided that the first thing to do was call Diana while we headed to town to go shopping for a suit and a dress. The shopping was going to have to be done separately because neither of us wanted to see what the other was wearing. 

Dialing Diana, Tom was all smiles and I was a nervous wreck. I was so worried she was going to be cranky even though he kept assuring me she wouldn’t be. 

“Hello darling,” Diana said. “To what do I owe the pleasure. Am I on speaker, there’s a bit of an echo?” 

“Hi mum, yes you are. We’ve got something we want to tell you,” Tom said. 

“Is Dil with you?” she asked. 

“Hi Diana,” I said. “How are you?” 

“I’m wondering what you two are up to,” she chuckled. “Why would you both call at this hour?” 

Taking a deep breath in, I let it out slowly as Tom said, “Mum, we’re getting married. This little minx next to me set the whole thing up and surprised me.” 

“Oh darlings,” she exclaimed. “That’s wonderful. I’m so happy.” 

“You may not be in a minute,” I said. 

“Oh, why would that be?” she asked. 

“You tell her, she’s your mother,” I told Tom. 

“Chickenshit,” he said to me laughing. 

“What? She should hear it from you,” I said. 

Diana, chuckling on the other end of the phone said, “You two make me laugh. You know I can hear every word. Now, will someone tell me what’s going on?” 

“Tom will,” I blurted. 

“We’re getting married the day after tomorrow. We’re going to set up a video link so you can all watch if you’d like to. Someone was worried you’d be cranky because you won’t be here.” 

“Oh Dil, you silly goose. I’m thrilled for both of you. I would have loved to have been there of course, but I’m not cranky. I’ll still get to see it all. Besides, I was there for your engagement. I’m so happy for both of you I could burst,” she laughed. 

“Not meaning to be rude mum, but as you can imagine, we have a million things to do. We quite literally found out about 6 minutes ago that we’d been given permission to go ahead with it, so I’d better go and get things organised,” Tom said. “We’ll call you later tonight our time with the details and work it out with you. Love from both of us.” 

“Love to both of you. I’ll talk to you later,” she said as Tom ended the call. 

“Told you she’d be happy and not cranky,” he said. “Do you know where you need to go?” 

Telling him where I wanted to go, he nodded and said it was near where he needed to be anyway. He parked the car and we hit the ground running agreeing to keep in contact every 30 minutes. 

I received the first text message 5 minutes later, it read ‘I rang your parents and gave them the details. Thought they might need them. They’re expecting you tomorrow evening. Love you.’ 

I sent a message back, ‘Thanks, totally forgot about them. Not happy about this.’ 

Feeling a little stressed due to the fact that we had very little time, I wasn’t sure how the dress shopping was going to go. I knew what I wanted but wasn’t terribly hopeful of finding it. I wanted white, beige, cream or ivory and either a nice flowing dress or a flowing skirt with a nice fitted top. I could see it in my head but wasn’t sure how it was going to go trying to find it. 

The clothing Gods must have been watching over me because as I walked past the shop window, I saw it. Knowing my luck, it won’t be my size. Talking to the sales assistant I showed her what I was after. Into the change room I went; and fell in love. Not only did it fit, it was comfortable and looked good on. The skirt was soft and flowed so deliciously around my legs, splits at the side allowing for an extra bit of movement, off the shoulder top with three quarter length sleeves sit perfectly on me. Deciding on shoes to go with it, I was all set to leave when I spotted the hat. I wasn’t planning on wearing anything on my head, but the hat just set the outfit off and I had to have it. Paying for everything I headed outside and checked the time. 5 minutes til the next check in. I wanted to make a call so decided to check in early. 

The message read, ‘I’ve got my dress and shoes. Need...nevermind what I need. You find what you need?’ 

I got a message back, ‘Almost finished, was lucky found a suit first thing. You’re lingerie shopping aren’t you?’ 

I replied, ‘Mind your business. Talk soon xx’ 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**DRESS SHOPPING**

Dialling as I was walking towards the lingerie store, I was surprised when he answered right away, “Hi missy, how’s things?” 

“Chris, please don’t think I’m being rude but I’m on a massively tight schedule. Is Elsa with you by any chance, or is she nearby?” I asked. 

“Yeah, she’s just here. Is everything ok?” 

“I need to ask a huge favour, and I do mean huge,” I said. “Tom and I are getting married.” 

I paused here because I heard Elsa squeal in the background. Laughing, I continued, “I know right? Who would have thought. We had a slight disagreement about it this morning and..anyway, I digress. I’d love it if you could be there, and the boys if they want to come,” 

Chris cut me off, “Of course we’d love to come..” 

I jumped in, “Yeah hold your mjolnir Thor, problem is this: Firstly we’re getting married at mum’s place. Second problem is the when,” I said. 

“Your mum’s place?” Chris asked. “As in population 54 humans 6992 cows and sheep?” 

Laughing I answered, “one and the same.” 

Elsa jumped in, “So what’s the problem with the when?” 

“We’re getting married day after tomorrow at 10 a.m.” 

“You’re what!” came the reply. “Did you just say the day after tomorrow?” Chris asked. 

Laughing, I said, “Yeah I did. I wish I had more time to explain but Tom’s doing things the traditional way and making me stay with my parent's tomorrow night so we don’t see each other before the ceremony. Look, if you can’t make it..” 

“We’ll be there,” Elsa said. 

“You will?” I asked excitedly. 

“Of course we will missy. This is something I wouldn’t miss. We can fly down tomorrow afternoon, hire a car and drive out. There’s a hotel next town over to your mum isn’t there?” Chris asked. 

“There is, although Mum has a spare room with a single bed but, if you don’t mind roughing it a bit there’s a camper trailer that you could stay in. It sleeps 4 but if there’s more of you we can work something out. I’m going to see if Tom can stay with my nephew, he lives a couple minutes from mum. Anyway, I have another favour to ask. I know I’m greedy,” I laughed. “Tom obviously has no family here; you guys are the closest thing he has to family. I’m probably overstepping the mark here but I don’t think he’ll mind. Chris would you stand up with him, Elsa, would you stand up with me and be our witnesses? There’s not really anything you need to do, just witness our paperwork.” 

Without hesitation they both said yes. 

“You guys are amazing. There is no dress code, rock up in board shorts and a tshirt or suit and tie, whatever you want. If Liam and Luke want to come that’s fine. And your mum and dad of course. I’ll square it with mum. We were keeping it small but I know Tom would love to have you there. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you both. You remember where mum lives Chris, it’s been a while since you were out that way?” 

“Yeah, I remember. Missy, it’s a tiny place, someone will give me directions. Don’t stress. We’ll see you day after tomorrow and don’t worry, if Tom calls, we’re busy. We’ll see you at Mrs missy’s,” he laughed. 

Ending the call, massive smile on my face, I headed into the lingerie shop. 

Savannah, I’d asked her name last time I was here, looked up and smiled when she saw me. 

“Hi, how are you?” she greeted. 

“I’m good thanks Savannah. I need something to support the girls while I’m wearing this,” I said to her pulling out the top I was wearing. 

Nodding, she took me over to a rack of strapless bras. “One of these should work,” she said holding up an ivory coloured bra. “That’s very pretty,” she said pointing at the top. 

“I hope Tom thinks so,” I said. I have no idea why but the words just suddenly fell out of my mouth, “We’re getting married, this is what I'm wearing.” 

I don’t know which one of us was more shocked at my words but the expressions on both our faces must have been priceless. 

Smiling Savannah said, “Congratulations and I promise your secret’s safe with me.” 

Laughing I replied, “I know. After what we did in your change room, trust isn’t an issue. And thank you.” 

Finishing up with Savannah, I’d done all I could do for the day. I sent Tom a message, ‘Done whenever you’re ready.’ 

The reply came back, ‘Give me 5 minutes.’ 

I wandered along slowly looking in shop windows smiling to myself. In less than 2 days I was getting married...and I was happy. 

Tom came up behind me, “You look rather happy with yourself.” 

“I am. I was lucky enough to find exactly what I was looking for without even knowing I was looking, and doubly blessed that I found it early on. And I found a dress too,” I said smiling at him. 

He looked confused for a moment, then his smile spread across his face and reached his eyes, and I lost my heart again. “It may have taken you a while to come around to my way of thinking but I’m so happy you did and I wish we were at home because I desperately want to kiss you,” he said. 

Stopping and turning to him I stood on my tip toes and kissed him lightly on the lips, “I’m not hiding anymore.” 

We didn’t bother taking the bags out of the car, there was no point as we were only going to be packing them again tomorrow anyway. 

“What do you want to do about dinner love?” Tom asked. 

“I really don’t know. Any suggestions?” 

“To be honest I’d settle for toasted ham, cheese and tomato sandwiches,” he replied. 

“Sounds great. I feel like this day has been 48 hours long. I’m looking forward to bed,” I said. 

“Do you realise tonight is the last night we’ll sleep together before we get married?” Tom asked. “I think we need to say goodbye to the single life don’t you?” 

“What last night wasn’t enough for you?” I laughed. “My back is still complaining.” 

“Was that only last night?” 

“Sure was. See what I mean about today being 48 hours long?” I questioned. 

We had dinner, put the dishes in the dishwasher, fed the dogs then sat on the couch to run through everything we needed to get done tomorrow, which turned out to not be very little. Having a small wedding had its advantages. I had to pack makeup and some clothes and get Bobby and Paddy ready. Tom had a few things to do first thing in the morning but nothing that he couldn’t catch up on. I thought I might even get started on doing something with ‘Papping the Paps.’ 

Yawning and stretching, I looked at Tom, “I’m just going to get a drink then I think I’ll shower and go to bed.” 

“Sounds good to me,” he said. 

Grabbing a bottle of water, I was about to close the fridge door when I spied a can of dairy whip and some chocolate sauce. Taking the chocolate sauce, I put some on my finger and licked it then squirted some dairy whip into my mouth. Turning around, Tom was standing right beside me and took the can from me, squirting some in his mouth. Trying to grab the can back from him, he pushed the top and squirted some on my hand. Leaning down he licked it off then smirked as he squirted it at me. Squealing, I took off at a run still carrying the chocolate sauce. Tom and the can of dairy whip right behind me.... 

After showering we lay in bed, Tom big spoon me little spoon, marvelling at all that had happened in one day. We’d gone from looking at messages, to Tom getting cranky about me not wanting to get married, to me organising it all and now here we were about 36 hours from being Mr and Mrs. 

“Bloody hell,” I said rolling over and sitting up. 

Tom rolled onto his back, “What now love?” 

“We congratulated ourselves on being organised a little prematurely,” I said looking down at him. 

“We did? Why?” he asked. 

“Because I told Malcolm we’d be reading our own vows. We haven’t ever started writing them.” 

“Relax love, it’ll be fine. We’ll do it in the morning,” he told me. 

“I want it to be a surprise,” I told him. “You can’t know what I’m saying.” 

“We’ll still get it done in the morning. Now, come lay down with me and let’s get some sleep. Your last night as a miss,” Tom sighed contentedly. 

“Wonder if Chris starts calling me missus now instead of missy,” I laughed. 

“I haven’t even told him yet,” Tom said. “I’ll do it tomorrow. Goodnight my darling. Sleep well, I love you.” 

“Sweet dreams babe, I love you too.” 

**The chapter entitled 'The Last Time As Single' available in My Virtual Adventures fits in with this chapter**

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**DRAWING A BLANK**

“Come on love, you need to wake up. Josh is on the phone,” Tom said. 

“Whassamada?” I mumbled trying to get my eyes open. 

Laughing openly at my struggle, Tom said, “Josh. Is. On. The. Phone.” 

“Joshonaphone...wha?” 

“Come on darling. Coffee’s ready. Just open those pretty eyes of yours, get yourself up and it’s all yours. Josh wants to talk to you,” he said. 

Eyes open, “Coffee?” 

“Yes, coffee. Up you get, let’s go,” Tom coaxed. “Feet on the floor.” 

“Didn’t I just go to bed?” I asked pulling an oversized t-shirt over my head. “Did we sleep?” 

“Not a lot but, yes we slept,” he laughed. “Come on love, Josh needs to talk to you.” 

Sitting on the couch, I looked over to him, "You promised me coffee,” I said accusingly. “No holding out on me.” 

“I’m not holding out on you. Go on, talk to Josh and I’ll bring coffee,” he told me. 

“Hello?” I said, picking up the phone. 

“Missy, hi. Sorry to have to wake you,” Josh said. “I’m finished editing. I’ve sent it to you to check over. Let me know what you think and I can go ahead with it. Late night?” 

“Someone stayed up most of the night,” I said. “Just give me 2 seconds Josh. Tom’s just handed me a coffee and I need it.” Taking 2 big gulps of the coffee he just handed me I smiled, went “Ahhhhhh,” then refocused my attention back to a chuckling Josh. “I’m so sorry. You know what I’m like.” 

“All good. Hey, Tom told me to ask you about a latest development? Said you had some exciting news? Is it something you want me to add a footnote about?” Josh asked. 

“God no!” I exclaimed. “Sorry. No. It’s something I’d, actually something _we’d_ appreciate very much if you kept to yourself. Hang on, I’m just putting you on speaker. Ok, yeah we’ve got some pretty exciting news.” 

“It must be exciting, I can hear it in your voice,” Josh said. “So, spill. What is it?” 

“We’re getting married tomorrow,” Tom blurted out as Josh and I both laughed at his excitement. “Sorry darling, just couldn’t hold back.” 

Josh congratulated us then we chatted for another couple of minutes. We ended with me promising to check the file he’d sent then getting back to him to give him the go ahead. 

Tom opened the file while I got a second coffee. Sitting together we watched what Josh had pieced together from our chat the other day. 

"Do you ever get used to seeing yourself on a screen?” I asked Tom. “This is seriously weirding me out.” 

“I don’t think you ever really get used to it, you just come to accept that it’s one of the more bizzare aspects of your life,” he answered. “Are you happy with it?” 

“Absolutely,” I said. “He’s amazing. You’d never know I was a wreck a couple minutes before it was done.” 

Tom rang Josh and told him how thrilled we were with what he’d done, then gave him the go ahead to broadcast the interview. 

“I’ve been thinking about ‘Papping the Paps’ babe. I’m just going to write a quick statement for now then, when you go back to work, I’ll get to it,” I said. “Also, I think you should stay with Shane tonight. He’s only a couple of minutes from mum’s which means we can spend time together before you abandon me and leave me with those strange people I call parents.” 

“Oh, for goodness sake, I’m not abandoning you,” he laughed. “It’s one night and I didn’t think of staying with him. Do you think he’ll mind? I don’t want to impose but it would be nice to still be close by.” 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” I said. “I’ll give him a call soon.” 

“I can do it,” Tom quickly said. “I mean, you’ll be writing your statement, and don’t forget you have to start your vows. I just thought I’d save you some time.” 

“What are you up to? Since when do you call my nephew? And you still have to do your vows too you know. But sure, if you want to call him go ahead,” I told him. 

“I’m not up to anything, I’m just trying to save time and I already know what I’m going to say. I was thinking about it while I was up last night,” he said. 

"You were up a lot last night babe. Which time are you referring to?” I asked with a smirk. 

“All of them,” he said walking towards me, grin on his face. 

“Back off Hiddleston. I haven’t got time,” I laughed. “Besides, you need to call Shane.” 

While he called my nephew, I wrote a message to all the people who had, and were continuing, to support the ‘Papping the Paps’ page. 

I wrote: 

I would like to thank you all so much for your wonderful messages and the staggering amount of support you’ve given. I apologise for my absence and silence the last couple of days but I’ve felt a little overwhelmed by everything that has happened. I’ve recorded an interview with Josh Horowitz which will be aired in the next day or two and will be declining all other requests for interviews at this time. I’m pleased that you have all gone out of your way to be respectful whilst spreading the word that it’s not ok to invade someone’s privacy. Both Tom and I are touched by your kind words and well wishes. I am going to take a couple of days to myself then I’ll be much more active and involved with the 'pappingthepaps' campaign. Much love to you all. 

“Babe, can you come read this and make sure it’s ok to post please?” I called out. 

He came wandering down the hallway, huge smile on his face. “Did you want me?” he asked. 

Now there’s a loaded question if ever there was one. One you need to think hard on before answering. 

Laughing at the expression on his face and the eyebrows wiggling up and down, I said, “Can you read this please? And what’s the big grin for? You been keeping yourself entertained in the bathroom?” 

A look of mock horror came over his face, “How dare you!” he said, then dropping the faux shock told me he’d been talking to my nephew and would be staying with him tonight. “You’ve done a good job with it love, go ahead and post it. I’ll be in the office if you need me. Apparently, I have vows I need to write.” 

“Kiss first,” I said as he went to walk away. Leaning over and kissing me, his hand started playing with my hair, “....and that’s enough of that,” I laughed. “Go. Write your vows, I have to do mine too.” 

Pen in hand, writing paper at the ready I leaned forward all set to write my vows...and drew a blank. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Not a damn thing. 

‘Well this is a fine mess you’ve got yourself into,’ I thought. 

The scariest part was when I answered myself. 

‘You’re overthinking it.’ 

_‘Overthinking?_ I’m not even thinking, how can I be _over_ thinking?’ 

‘Chill. Breathe, in, out, in, out.’ 

‘Get out of my head,’ 

‘I can’t get out of your head. _I am_ your head. If Tom was standing in front of you right this second, what would you say to him to tell him how you feel?’ 

10 minutes later, my vows were written. It really was that simple. They weren’t long. They weren’t an undying declaration of love. They were me. 

I sent a text, ‘feel ridiculous texting you as you’re only a couple rooms away but didn’t want to disturb you. I’m done.’ 

I got a message back. ‘been sitting here not knowing whether to come out or not. Also done. Oh, by the way, I love you.’ 

Hearing the office door open, I jumped off the couch and went running. He saw me coming, smiled and braced himself as I launched myself at him, arms around his neck, legs around his waist, lips coming down on his. 

“We’re really doing this huh?” he grinned. 

“You bet your sweet ass we are and I’m so damned excited, I can’t wait,” I said. “However, we’ve now got the bit I’ve not been looking forward to.” 

“With any luck we can get in and out. Neither of us had trouble with clothing, it would appear we haven’t had any problems with vows so I’m sure the rings won’t be too difficult,” he said. 

“It’s not the choosing part I’m worried about,” I answered. “It’s the getting in and out part without anyone seeing what we’re doing that bothers me.” 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**WEDDING EVE**

Arriving at the jewellers, we started looking at the displays of earrings then moved on to the necklaces and eventually rings. We were greeted by a woman who asked if she could be of assistance. Tom, who’d had his head down, looked up and it was clear she instantly recognised him. 

“Would you like to come through?” she asked looking around. 

Nodding, Tom took my hand and led me through a doorway, “Thank you,” he said with a smile. 

“Just in here. It’s not much but it’s private,” she said leading us into what was clearly her office. “I’ll just get another chair.” 

Disappearing for about 30 seconds, she reentered the room with a chair. “Please, both of you take a seat. How can I help you?” Sensing the hesitation, she smiled, “I can assure you that whatever we discuss will remain completely confidential. I’m Kristine, the owner. So, how can I help you?” 

“We’d like to look at wedding bands if that’s at all possible. We’re going to need to be able to take them with us today and bring them back for resizing. We’re cutting it rather close I’m afraid,” Tom said. 

Kristine nodded, “We can do that. Did you have any particular style in mind?” 

“Fairly plain, nothing ostentatious and, if possible both similar,” I answered. 

“We have matching sets,” she informed us. “White gold obviously to go with the engagement ring. If you don’t mind waiting for a couple of minutes, I’ll be more than happy to bring them to you.” 

“I’d really appreciate it if it’s not too much trouble,” Tom said. 

Returning a couple of minutes later, Kristine held some trays in her hand. Walking over to us, she lay them on the desk. “Please,” she said indicating the trays, “If there’s nothing there that suits your taste I do have others in mind. I have a feeling you’ll find these to your liking though. Please don’t think me arrogant, I can tell a lot from the engagement ring,” she said, softening her statement with a smile. 

She was right. I spotted one right away that I loved. Chuckling under his breath, Tom looked up to Kristine and pointed, “Without even asking my lovely bride, I can safely say this set here. Am I right love?” 

“You know me a little too well,” I said smiling. 

Taking the rings out of the trays, Kristine handed them to us. “Try them on for size and I’ll make some notes now, that way when you bring them back for resizing you won’t need to wait.” 

“Don’t look,” I said to Tom as I slipped the ring on my finger, turning so he couldn’t see me. 

Funnily enough, he’d already started turning away before I said anything. 

Kristine took my hand and smiled then went to Tom and checked his. “I get the feeling you two are meant to be,” she said. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a more perfect fit on rings that weren’t custom made.” 

Slipping the rings off and handing them back, we both smiled. It really was like the Gods were watching over us. 

Taking my hand, Tom winked at me. “Knew you’d choose that one. Good thing I liked it too isn’t it?” 

“We could have always just not had rings,” I laughed. 

Thanking Kristine for going above and beyond, we finalised the purchase then headed out to the car. 

... 

Arriving home, I put some music on, sat down and ran through a mental checklist. Tom, who’d disappeared towards the office, came out after a couple of minutes and walked over to me. Holding his hand out, he looked down and smiled. 

“Dance with me,” he said. 

Holding my hand up to him, he pulled me to my feet, turned me so my back was against his chest and swayed in time to the music, his arms across my stomach. 

“This is nice,” I said. 

Turning me around, he tilted my head up and lowered his until his lips brushed mine, “It is nice but I guess we should probably get organised, pack the car and get Bobby and Paddy ready for the trip. I’ll go get the crates and put them in the car. I can’t believe in less than 24 hours you’ll be my wife. You have no idea how happy I am.” 

“Actually, I think I do,” I answered. 

Car packed, dogs in their crates, Tom and I smiling at each other like fairground clowns, it was time to go. 

On the drive out to mum’s I checked my phone and had a text from Elsa. They were on their way and were only about 15 minutes behind us and had Liam and Gabriella with them. Luke had work commitments and couldn’t make it. As it was going to be a very quick visit, Craig and Leonie had offered to have the kids to save tiring them out. 

I sent a text back to let them know we weren’t going to get there much ahead of them. I was almost tempted to tell Tom they were coming but stopped myself, thinking it would be a nice surprise for him once they got there. 

After an uneventful trip we arrived at mum’s got the dogs out and uncrated them, putting them out the back in the dog yard mum sets up for them when we visit. 

“You’ll be staying for dinner Tom?” my father said. 

“I need to discuss something with you first mum, dad. Babe, could you just excuse us for 2 minutes?” I asked. 

Puzzled expression on his face, “Of course. But I need to speak to your father too.” 

“You do? But why?” I asked. 

“Go, speak to your parents,” he told me. 

Moving to the kitchen, “I hope you're not cranky...” 

“It’s ok, they called us when they landed in case you’d forgotten with everything else you had going on,” my dad said. “Chris wasn’t sure if we still had the same number but took a chance.” 

“Oh, well...great,” I laughed, then pointing at my dad “Let’s get back to Tom and find out what he wants with you...nevermind, can one of you go keep Tom busy for a minute. Chris is here.” 

“We’ll both go,” mum said. “Bring them straight through and they can put their stuff out the back.” 

Heading to the front door to greet them all I asked if they were sure they didn’t mind staying in the camper as it wasn’t exactly the height of luxury accommodation. After assuring me it was fine, I told them to grab their bags then showed them out the back. Stowing bags we headed back inside and after freshening up, I asked them to wait while I went and found Tom. 

“Hey babe, I know we said we were keeping this all really quiet and only having a couple of people, but I felt bad that I had my family and you had no one. I hope you don’t mind but I’ve invited a couple of people,” I said, big smile on my face as I saw his face light up when I opened the door and Chris, Elsa, Liam and Gabriella came in. 

“I told you I didn’t care if we had no one with us. It would have been fine. As long as you marry me, it’s all good but...thank you,” he said. 

The next few minutes were chaos. Hugs, kisses, and lots of laughter. After introducing Liam and Gabriella to my parents, mum and dad stood to the side, big smiles on their faces, happy just to see us happy. They’re odd, they’re dysfunctional and I love them to bits. Happy just to see me happy and not at all bothered about who was in their house. They were just referred to as ‘my friends at The Bay.’ I guess that’s where I get it from, my parents don’t react to celebrity status or anything like that; to them you’re just another person. 

After a few minutes' things calmed down and Tom turned to my dad. “Barry, might I have a word please?” 

Dad looked at me puzzled, I shrugged my shoulders and held my hands up indicating I had no idea what was going on. 

“Did you want to talk here or go somewhere private?” Dad asked. 

Seemingly nervous all of a sudden Tom replied, “Could we just step outside for a moment?” 

“Sure,” Dad replied. 

They were only gone for a minute, maybe 2 at the most and when they came back in my dad was beaming and Tom seemed a lot more relaxed. 

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” I asked. 

Dad, still smiling said, “You let that one go and I’ll personally kick your arse,” nodding in Tom’s direction. 

Confused I looked at Tom, “What’s going on?” 

It was then that Elsa smiled a knowing smile. 

“What are you smiling at?” I asked her. 

Answering, she said, “Tom’s a little old fashioned yes? It’s traditional to ask the father for permission to marry. I believe he just officially requested your hand in marriage.” 

Spinning around to face Tom, I said, “You did what?” 

“I asked your father’s permission to marry you,” he said. 

I stood there stunned at first, then walked over to Tom, cupped his face in my hands and said very quietly, “Thank you for giving my dad that,” then gave him a peck on the lips. 

Walking over to my dad I gave him a hug, “Thank you.” 

He gave me a brief squeeze, “That’ll be enough of that now. Off you go with your friends.” 

“I want you to hang with us,” I told my parents. 

“Us?” my mother asked, “Why?” 

“Because you’re my parents and I want you here,” I said. 

We had a fantastic night. My parents were happy to be included which made me smile. Tom was thrilled to have his ‘Aussie family’ with him and me? Well, I was just happy. 

At 11.50 p.m my dad came up to Tom, “If you’re doing this the traditional way, you need to say your goodnights now son. 10 minutes to midnight.” 

Saying his goodnights to everyone, he headed for the door with me trailing along behind. Standing at the door, we looked at each other and broke into huge grins. “I can’t believe you’re really going through with this staying apart thing,” I said to him. 

“I’m old fashioned at heart love, you know that,” he said bringing his lips down to mine. 

I know we’ve been together for a long time; I know we’ve shared so much, done so much but that kiss was something else. Both of us poured every bit of emotion we were feeling into it, joy, love, hope, trust, desire, passion and then we heard my father clear his throat. 

“Ahem, 11.59 p.m. Inside you,” he told me as he ushered Tom out. “See you in the morning son.” 

I felt like a school girl being told off for being late, even down to my father blocking the doorway so I couldn’t see Tom. 

“Night darling, I love you. Can’t wait for tomorrow,” he called as my father started closing the door. “Only 10 hours to go.” 

“Night babe, leave the window open, I’ll sneak out,” I said starting to laugh as my father joined in, “Get inside brat,” he laughed giving me a gentle shove, “you always were a bugger for ignoring curfew.” 

As far as my last night as a single girl went...it was awesome! 

Bring on tomorrow. I can’t wait to be Mrs. Hiddleston. 


	42. Thinking About Loki, Reminiscing, Leaving The World Behind, Emotional Hangover

**THINKING ABOUT LOKI**

Lying in bed, wondering what the time was, I rolled over to check the clock when Tom said,” It’s still early.”

“Didn’t realise you were awake,” I said. 

“Have been for about 10 minutes,” he replied. “I’ve been wondering what we should do today. I thought now that you’ve got both legs back maybe we could take a trip to the beach, sit and watch the water. Maybe walk for a while, collect some shells, have a late lunch.”

“Sounds wonde...bloody hell babe with all the wedding preparations, I forgot. I’ve got a follow up appointment with the surgeon this morning,” I said.

“That’s ok. We can go after that,” he replied. “Only if you want to of course. If there’s something else you’d rather do we can do that.”

“No, I’d love to go to the beach. It feels like forever since I’ve been able to walk on the sand, feel the water on my feet. I know I did up at The Bay but that was different because we had everyone else around us and circumstances were a little weird with everything that was going on at the time.”

“What time’s your appointment?” Tom asked.

“8.40,” I answered. “I’ll get up and put coffee on.”

Rolling over, he looked at me shaking his head, “At the risk of you tearing my head off, you don’t actually have time for coffee darling. You might want to get that sweet little ass of yours up and dressed. It’s 8 a.m.”

“It’s what?” I exclaimed.

“It’s 8 o’clock, you don’t have ti...” he trailed off as I threw the covers, swore and muttered under my breath and went into the bathroom. 

10 minutes later, I’d somehow managed to deal with clothing, hair, teeth and makeup without the benefit of caffeine...but I was not a happy person. ‘Don’t lose your cool with him. It’s not his fault’ I was telling myself as I found a pair of matching shoes that almost went with the dress I was wearing.

Getting ready to run out of the room, I glanced over at the unmade bed, articles of clothing still on the floor from where we’d thrown them and stopped as Tom’s words from last night flooded into my caffeine deprived brain. ‘It’s up to us to keep the magic alive.’ If I wanted to keep that magic alive, I needed to stop sweating the small stuff. It was a cup of coffee for goodness sake, not the end of the world. The coffee would wait for me until I could get to it, the mood however, if I chose to stay in it, would stay with me all day and possibly ruin a great day.

Down the hallway I went to find Tom in the kitchen, black sleep pants slung low on his hips, bare chested, tousled hair. Damn that appointment. 

“I was trying to get coffee ready for you before you left but Paddy and Bobby wanted fed and then...”

Holding my hand up and shaking my head, I smiled, “It’s fine. I’ll get one on the way home.” Walking over to kiss him, chuckling at the look on his face, “I shouldn’t be too long. I can pick up something for breakfast on the way home if you want.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my wife?” he asked.

“Something you said last night made me stop and think. But, right now I need to go,” I said leaning over to kiss him again.

“What did I say last night?” he called after me.

“The magic,” I called back shutting the door.

I heard him yell something else, but I didn’t catch what it was, and I didn’t have the time to ask. Driving to the surgeon’s office didn’t take long thank goodness. I just wanted this done so that I could get back home and we could spend the day together. One that looked like being the last normal one for a while. The madness that is filming was about to start. Weird hours, long days, bumps and bruises all part of what will become our ‘new normal’ for the next couple of months.

Remembering the arguments and what happened during pre-production and with all the costume fittings scared me a little. What if it happened again? I didn’t have Diana this time. ‘Get out of your head,’ I told myself. ‘Talk to him about it if it’s really bothering you but get out of your head.’

The appointment with the surgeon didn’t go quite as well as I’d hoped for, but it was what I expected; 3 more weeks then I could get back to work and another checkup in 4 months.

Sitting in the car with the radio on, I started texting Tom when I heard something about Loki. Holding my finger over the keys on the phone, I focused my attention on the radio and listened as they were saying filming on the series was about to resume, along with other projects that were being filmed at the same studio. 

Odd that I should listen. I usually ignored pretty much everything I heard, because most of it was either rehashed old news or a bunch of B.S. Occasionally they got it right but not often. Loki. How long before he started making his presence known I wondered. Subtle changes crept into Tom’s personality over time, keeping me on my toes. Not that they were all that bad; things could be interesting with Loki around. At times they were very interesting. Memories of times gone by playing in my mind.

Text forgotten, Loki on my mind, I started the car and turned for home. ‘Something I was going to do on the way home’ I thought somewhere in the back of my mind. ‘Doesn’t matter, whatever it was. Not important. Loki,’ were the thoughts going through my mind. Mental pictures of my husband in big black boots, green and black leather, black wig… What was it I was going to do on the way home? Can’t think. Turning the music up in the car I started tapping the beat on the steering wheel to give myself something to focus on while I was a at a red light. The song stopped and Poison by The Prodigy came on. Loki’s song. There he was again. ‘Kneel before me.’ What? Where did that come from? Oh yeah, I remember. Was it getting hot in here? What the hell was I meant to be doing on the way home? Seriously can’t think straight, thoughts of Loki in my head. Loki reading – I remember that, Loki in a black suit – I remember that too, Loki in chains – oh, definitely remember that.

Pulling up in the driveway, I couldn’t get out the car quick enough. Barreling through the front door and taking off at a run. 

“Hiddleston where the hell are you?” I hollered running up the hallway.

“I’m in …" was all he managed to get out. Yeah, definitely keeping the magic alive.

**The NSFW 18+ follow on for this is available in My Virtual Adult Adventures and is titled Thinking About Loki (explicit)**

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**REMINISCING**

After showering, I dressed in shorts and singlet top with an open, button down shirt thrown over the top. Heading to the kitchen I hugged Tom as he handed me the much needed cup of coffee that I had gone without up until now. 

“Feeling better now love?” he asked me with a big grin on his face. 

“Much better. And thank you,” I replied. 

“Happy to be of assistance. Can I just say, those shoes? They work well,” he said, still with a grin on his face. “Did you still want to go to the beach?” 

“Did you have something else in mind?” I asked. “I’m not too fussed on what we do as long as we do it together. The beach would be nice. If we collect enough shells, I can make a frame for a wedding photo. It’s the closest we’re going to get to a honeymoon for now. Was there something you’d rather do?” 

“As long as I get to spend the day with you my love, I don’t mind what we do. I’m happy to head to the beach. We can walk, collect shells and grab a bite to eat,” he said. 

“Do you mind if I take the camera?” I asked. “It’s been ages since I’ve had the chance to take any photos of the ocean.” 

“I don’t mind on one condition. Well, two really,” he answered. 

“Hmm, and what’s that?” I questioned pouring a second coffee. 

“First of all, you don’t spend all day behind the camera,” he replied. 

“And second?” I asked. 

“You let me take some photos of you. And before you say anything, I know what you’re like. You’ll spend all day taking photos of the water, shells, rocks and taking sneaky ones of me, and we’ll end up with none of you or of us together and I want some to remember the day by,” he answered. 

Agreeing to his terms, I finished my coffee and grabbed the camera. “Ready whenever you are,” I said to him. 

“Which beach do you want to go to? I’d like to try and avoid anywhere that’s likely to be too crowded. I want to spend the day with you, not you and a hundred other people snapping away or pushing their kids up to ask for a photo. Usually I don’t mind but today’s our day.” 

After a quick discussion on where we’d go, it was into the car and off we went. Determined to enjoy the day, we played cheesy, old school songs and sang at the top of our lungs, laughing as one of us would mess up the lyrics. 

Inevitably this brought about the ‘remember when’ game and, after a few ‘do you remember this?’ or ‘oh remember when’s..’ Tom said, “Do you remember the first time we ever sang together?” 

“Certainly do,” I laughed. “Tom Odinson the random at karaoke. Do you remember what we sang?” 

“I do, and I remember that you wanted your friend Tim to sing with you, but he wouldn’t and told you that you could find a ‘random’ to sing with you. I’d already tried to buy you a drink and you turned me down flat so I figured if you sang with me, I might have a chance at convincing you to let me buy you one after all, so I decided to be the ‘random’ and put my name down to sing with you,” he answered. 

“You were rather persistent,” I laughed. 

... 

Arriving at the beach, he looked over to me, “I’d already decided you were the one for me. I knew from the moment you landed at my feet when that idiot tripped you. It just took you a lot longer to realise it.” 

Laughing, I leaned over and kissed his cheek, “I knew. I just like being stubborn.” 

Locking the car, we walked across the carpark, only able to see the water at this point. The beach itself was accessible via two sets of steps, but was sheltered behind trees and out of view until you reached halfway down the second set. As we reached the bottom of the second set of steps, we noticed there were more people than we’d anticipated. 

Avoiding eye contact with anyone, we reached the bottom of the steps and I said, “Babe, I just want to get a bottle of water,” pointing to a little beach side drink vendor. “Did you want anything?” 

“Just a water please,” he said. “I’ll just wait here if you don’t mind.” Following his line of sight I realised he’d already attracted a bit of attention and we hadn’t even made it onto the beach proper before the heads were turning. 

Determined not to let it bother us, I got the bottles of water, took a few photos of him, he took some of me and we took a few selfies together before walking down to the water’s edge. Slowly strolling along we found quite a few pretty shells that we kept, but I was aware of the heads that kept turning and how there were suddenly a lot more people strolling along. Tom did his best to ignore it but I could see from his body language he was very much aware of the people around us. 

“This is ridiculous,” he said quietly. “You’re my wife, this is the only day we’ve got together uninterrupted for a while and I feel like we can’t hold hands.” 

“This was a mistake. I don’t want to share you with the world today. I want you to myself,” I told him. “Can we please go?” 

Heading back to the car at a fairly quick pace, we attracted a bit more attention. Ordinarily we’d both just shrug it off. Well, Tom would shrug it off and I’d glare at everyone, but usually it wouldn’t bother us as much. However today was a special day and we wanted to be able to enjoy it together. 

We were both a little quiet at first on the drive home, then I thought, ‘why should that ruin our day?’ 

“Are you ok?” I asked Tom. 

“I am now,” he said, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. 

Determined not to let our day be ruined we turned the music up and started singing again laughing about times gone by. 

“Do you remember the first time we danced?” I asked. 

“I remember both of our first dances,” he replied giving me a quick glance before returning his eyes to the road ahead 

Frowning, I looked over to him, “Both first dances? I don’t understand. You can only have one first dance.” 

“There was the dance in the pub, even though you knocked me back at first. I had to threaten to carry you onto the dance floor in the end,” he laughed. 

“I remember,” I smiled. “We ended up dancing 2 dances then I had to leave because I was starting with a new client early the next day. I’m still quite sure you were stalking me. So, yes, I remember our first dance. But I’m not sure what the other first….” I stopped. “Oh. _T_ _hat_ first dance. Yes, I remember it well. I still enjoy those dances.” 

“Let’s go home, close the door, shut the world out and replicate our first dance,” he said. 

“Sounds like a wonderful idea,” I replied. “Tomorrow can wait.” 

**The first dance the Tom is referring to can be found in Virtual Adventures of the Adult Kind** **under the chapter titled** **The First Time. 18+ only please** **.** **Definitely NSFW**

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LEAVING THE WORLD BEHIND**

“Do we need anything before we get home?” Tom asked. “Might as well do what we need to do while we’re out because once we get home, you’re my prisoner for the rest of the day.” 

“I have no idea what we need and what we don’t babe. The last few days have just been crazy. I was going to do groceries tomorrow then slowly work my way through the house and organise everything, get to work on the webpage and start some gentle workouts so I’m ready for work when the time comes,” I said, mind racing ahead. 

“We’ve got some stuff we can throw stuff together for dinner, we’ve got coffee so your set, wine, cheese,” he was obviously thinking aloud. “And you’ve got plenty of time to think about work, you shouldn’t be worrying about it. I’d be happy if you took a lot more time off.” 

“Let’s not today ok? We both know where it’s going to end up,” I replied. 

Pulling up in the driveway, he turned the car off and as I was about to get out a thought occurred to me. 

“Um, Tom?” 

“Hmmm?” 

“I just realised, you start filming tomorrow,” I said. 

“The day after actually, but yes, work tomorrow. I don’t want to think about it at the moment. Today is ours,” he told me. 

“But it can’t be, you have to get organised. What about all your paperwork and clearances and permits and...” 

“Stop. Breathe," he said cutting me off. Holding my hand to his lips he continued, “Today is ours. Work can wait. It’s all sorted out. I organised it all two days ago. That’s what I was doing while you were writing your vows.” 

Relaxing as his thumb rubbed small circles on the back of my hand, I nodded to signal that I was ok. Opening the car door, I took a couple of deep breaths. I really need to get back to some form of work, this doing nothing is not good for me, particularly with Tom going to be gone for who knew how long each day. 

“I know I said today was about us love and I hate that I have to do this, but I do just need to check some emails. I’ll do it while you put your coffee on,” he said, moving my hair to the side and kissing my neck. 

“Bring the laptop out here, I can put music on and chill while you do what you have to,” I told him. 

“You don’t mind?” he asked. 

Shaking my head, I replied, “I’d rather you out here with me than locked away in the office.” 

With Tom gone to get the laptop, I stood waiting for my coffee and noticed my toenails needed a fresh coat of polish. Heading to the bathroom, I got the polish remover and looked over the coloured polish I had. Selecting a deep pink, I headed back to the kitchen. Pouring coffee, I took it and the polish to the living room and sat on the couch as Tom came out carrying the laptop. 

Sitting on the floor in front of me, he put the laptop on the coffee table and turned it on. I sat with my legs out so they hugged his butt and thighs and started rubbing his shoulders while he read emails. 

“Mmm, that feels nice,” he said, placing one hand over mine and nuzzling it with his cheek. 

Grabbing the bottom of his shirt, I started lifting it, “Take it off. I want to feel you not your shirt,” I told him. Taking his shirt off, he leaned back and tilted his head so he was looking at me. “Kiss?” he asked. 

Leaning forward I kissed him lightly on the lips. “Check your emails,” I said to him as I started rubbing his back lightly, admiring the ripple of muscle as he moved forward. I moved up and started rubbing his shoulders, loving the way he moved his neck this way and that as my hands moved over his skin. 

Finishing up fairly quickly, he turned to me and took my hands in his, once again raising one to his lips and kissing the knuckle. “Sometimes I think you have magic in those fingers,” he said. 

“Mine are not the only magic fingers around here,” I said. 

Shaking his head, he chuckled, “You’re incorrigible.” Pointing to the nail polish, he asked, “What were you painting, fingers or toes?” 

“Toes,” I said. “They’re look terrible.” 

“Can I do it?” he asked. 

“I’d like that,” I answered. 

Sitting in front of me holding my foot, he cleaned the old polish off first one then the other, waving his hands over my toe nails. 

“What are you doing?” I asked with a giggle, my feet are ticklish and I'd been trying to keep it together while he cleaned my toe nails. 

“Drying your toe nails,” he answered as if I was asking a silly question. 

Reaching for the nail polish, he tickled my feet making me laugh. 

“Stop. You know I hate it when you do that...oh babe, look,” I said pointing to the laptop. The screensaver had activated and was set to scroll through all our photos. There were photos of Bobby when he was just a tiny puppy. While Tom painted my toe nails, we sat looking at the photos scrolling across the screen, reminiscing about the various events and times the photos were taken. 

Having finished painting my nails, he put the lid back on the bottle then came and cuddled on the couch with me as we sat and watched the photos scroll across the screen. I glanced up to see him watching me, and smiled. He put his finger under my chin and tilted my head up. Hands gently cradling my head, thumbs stroking my cheeks, eyes on mine, he slowly brought his head down, hovering with his mouth just above mine. “I love you so much,” he said, rubbing his nose on mine before his lips came down on mine. I have to be honest; the next 5 minutes are kind of hazy. You know that feeling you get when you’ve been kissed, like really kissed? Your head just gets kinda fuzzy, your heart feels like it’s going to explode because it’s so full of love, your eyes just want to stay closed as you imprint that kiss on your memory...yeah, that; that’s how I felt. 

We cooked toasted cheese sandwiches for dinner, neither of us wanting to be away from the other for any longer than necessary. After we’d cleaned up and fed the dogs, he held my hand and pulled me back over to the couch dragging me down to sit beside me. 

“Come, put your head in my lap, let me play with your hair,” he said. “Thank you for giving me today my love. I have thoroughly enjoyed it. What would you like to do with the next couple of hours?” he asked. 

“Promise you won’t roll your eyes?” I said looking up at him. 

“I promise I’ll try not to roll my eyes,” he said laughing. “I can’t promise I won’t because, well, you’re you and you’ve been known to be a little...random.” 

Laughing at his careful choice of words, “I just wanted you to read to me for a little while.” 

“You know, I’ve never really understood why you like me reading to you so much,” he said. “I know you say you like the sound of my voice, but you hear me all the time. Are you not sick of hearing me yet?” 

Looking at him as if he’d suddenly grown 6 heads, I said, “I never tire of hearing your voice when you read to me. Yes, I get a bit narky when you’re nagging at me for some imagined misdemeanor or other and wish you’d shut up, but never when you read.” 

He put his palm over my face and gave a gentle shove, “You make me laugh with your ‘imagined misdemeanors’. There’s nothing imagined about them.” 

I convinced him to read to me for a while then we finished off a bottle of red wine we’d opened last night. 

Tom put some music on and insisted we dance, “Dance with me,” he said holding his hand out to me. “I want you to dance with me just like you did when we had our first dance at your house.” 

And dance we did, just like our first dance...but better. We knew each other now. As always happens, all good things must come to an end, and, no matter how much we both tried to prolong the day eventually we had to accept that it was over. Showering together, we went to bed, made love then Tom pulled me back against him. I lay there listening to his breathing deepen and become more regular as he drifted off to sleep. Waiting until I knew he was in a deep sleep, I got out of bed, made my way to the living room where I sat reading, sleep eluding me. I have no idea how long I’d been there when Tom scared the life out of me with a touch on my shoulder. 

“Why aren’t you in bed?” he asked. “I reached for you but you weren’t there.” 

“Couldn’t sleep,” I said, putting the book down. “I’ll come now.” 

Walking hand in hand back to bed, we lay down, Tom holding me safe in his arms, protected from the outside world. What a shame it couldn’t stay that way. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**THE EMOTIONAL HANGOVER**

Having not slept a great deal, I got up before Tom, put coffee on and fed the dogs. Sitting sipping my first one of the day when Tom came out all tousle haired and bare chested and looking better than any human has a right to at this hour, I went to get up and get a cup for him but he stopped me. 

“I can do it. You drink yours. You didn’t sleep very well last night my love, you ok?” he asked.

“I slept,” I replied. “I was probably just a bit wired from everything that’s happened in the last few days. I’m fine.”

Having poured his coffee, he came around and stood behind me dropping a kiss on top of my head. “What are you going to get up to today?”

“I need to go do some groceries, do something with papping the paps, sort out the house which has been neglected for a while now and I want to get a couple of canvases and some paint,” I replied.

“What are you thinking of painting,” he asked.

“No idea yet. I’ll know when I start,” I answered.

Finishing his coffee, he took the mug to the sink, turned and looked at me with a sad smile. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said. “At least you get to come home each night this time around. We’ve spent months apart before.”

“We didn’t just get married other times though. I feel like we’re ripping ourselves off,” he shrugged.

“We’ll get some time to do something once you’ve finished this one and before the next one. There should bet a couple of weeks in there somewhere. You best get moving,” I told him. 

“I suppose I should,” he said making no move to get ready.

Looking over at him, I pointed to the bedroom, “That way. Shower, clothes, go on then, off you go.”

“Anyone would think you were trying to get rid of me,” he said only half joking.

“Not at all. I’d love to have you stay with me but as that can’t happen, I just want to get our ‘new normal’ underway. Not that anything is anywhere near normal when you’re working,” I laughed.

Serious look on his face, he came over to me, tilted my head up with his finger. “Will you miss me?” he asked.

“Very much,” I answered then had a little chuckle. “I’d ask if you’ll miss me but you’re going to be far too busy.”

“I’ll still miss you,” he said. “I’ve procrastinated long enough I suppose. Best go get ready.”

While Tom got ready, I did a mental list of things I needed at the grocery store, then opened my laptop and went to the papping the  paps page. It was insane the amount of support it had got, especially since the interview with Josh had aired. I felt a bit overwhelmed to be honest and wished I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away but I started it, so I had to deal with it. 

Pouring a second coffee, I started scrolling through some of the messages, answering a few quick ones, liking some of them and being quite surprised at how civil most of the messages and even debates were. Hearing Tom coming down the hallway, I stood ready to give him a hug and kiss goodbye. 

Enveloped in his arms, I breathed deeply loving the smell of him. God I was going to miss him so much. 

“I won’t be too late home today. Just formalities, forms and sorting out passes and permits. I’ll call or text you later,” he said still holding me tight.

“I’ll be fine. You’re going to work not leaving the country,” I laughed. “Go on, I’ve got things to do.”

Kissing me goodbye, he grabbed the keys, opened the door, gave me one last smile, then closed the door. And I promptly burst into tears. Sitting at the kitchen bench, big fat tears streaming down my face, sobbing like a lost child and laughing at myself. 

I’d like to say I was surprised by the tears but that wasn’t true. I call it an emotional hangover. A week ago, I’d just said goodbye to Diana, was having a tantrum and chasing photographers all over the neighbourhood, no thoughts of marriage at all. In fact, Tom and I were at loggerheads over what I was doing. Fast forward a week, I’ve been inundated with messages of support, appeared in an interview because of something I did and not because I was with Tom, had got this idea in my head that we should get married, managed to get it all done, got married, had a day long honeymoon then not slept much. It was no wonder I was just a little on the emotional side, it had been a hell of a week. And, I missed my husband who’d been gone for all of 10 minutes. 

Another day or two and I’d be fine. I just needed time to process everything that had happened. Deciding to get out of the house for a bit, I headed to the bedroom to get dressed, walked in saw the unmade bed and burst into tears again. Laughing at myself, I made the bed, dried the tears..again, had a quick shower, got dressed and ready then headed to the car.

An hour after he’d left, Tom sent me a text ‘I miss you even though you said I wouldn’t’ with a little pokey out tongue emoji. 

I replied, ‘didn’t  realise you were gone, been too busy to miss you.’ 

My phone beeped almost immediately and I laughed out loud, ‘You’re a cruel woman.’ 

I sent a  reply, 'You've mentioned that on more than one occasion. I miss you so much, can’t wait to see you tonight. Feels like you’ve been gone hours. I love you.’ 

I got one back, ‘That’s better. Can’t wait to see you. I love you.’ 

Feeling much better after getting the messages I pulled out of the driveway and headed for the grocery store. Halfway there I remembered I wanted Savannah to order me a black chemise the same as the white one Tom had bought me. ‘I’ll just make a detour then grocery shop,’ I told myself. Not able to get a parking spot near the lingerie shop, I had to park on the next block. Getting out I looked up and saw the art supply place. I’d been meaning to get some canvases for a while now as I really wanted to do some painting. I’ll just go in and grab a couple then see Savannah. Right, canvases, Savannah, groceries, clean the house, do the page. Canvas, Savannah, groceries, house, page. Yep, got it I said to myself as I entered the art supply place.

Coming out armed with everything I needed, and a little more, I loaded the car and was heading to see Savannah when my phone rang. 

“Hey you,” I said.

“Hey you,” Tom replied. “Are you busy?”

“Define busy?” I laughed.

“Are you doing anything that can’t wait? Is that better?” he chuckled down the line. “I want you to come to the studio.”

“Me? Why?” 

“I’d like you to come sign some papers so you can be given clearance to come visit me,” he told me.

“Why would you want me to visit you?” I asked.

“I’ve requested you as my trainer/yoga instructor a couple of days a week,” he replied.

“Do you think that’s a good idea? You tend to get a little distracted when we do yoga,” I laughed.

His reply was one word. “Loki.”

“I’m on my way.”


	43. First Day Back, Leave Him Behind, I'm Not Scared of Him, It's Not Goodbye It's See You Later

**FIRST DAY BACK**

Arriving at the studio I gave my name, was shown where to park then asked to come back and wait as Tom was called. Playing around on my phone I was oblivious to the world and gave a little squeal when I heard his voice near my ear. 

“I’ve missed you love.” 

Head down, I put my phone away, stood and then looked up at him. Tom stood in front of me, well, he looked like Tom. Sort of. He had Tom’s clothes on and he definitely had Tom’s face, Tom’s colouring but, he was not Tom. Looking at me with black hair and green eyes was Loki. With Tom’s face. Messed with my head a little bit. 

“I’ve missed you too,” I said. 

The security guard was standing idly by watching us. 

“Did you sign in?” he asked. 

“Not yet,” I answered as he put his hand in the small of my back and guided me to the iPad to sign in. 

“You’re giving me a strange look,” he said. “What’s wrong?” 

“Not used to seeing you with Loki hair and eyes without the makeup or clothes. Just a little different,” I replied. 

“It’s still me,” he said reassuringly. 

“I know. It’s a bit early on for him to make himself known,” I answered. Then thinking to myself, ‘he’s here.’ 

“I’ll try to hold him off for as long as I can,” he said. 

“I know you will. But we both know he’s coming,” I replied. 

Having signed in, he took me over to the little buggy he used to get around in. 

“Jump in,” he said. “I’ll take you down, show you where the trailer is.” 

A short drive later we pulled up in front of a trailer. 

Getting out, he held his hand out to me, “Coming?” he asked. 

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to go ahead with this?” 

“Why wouldn’t it be? We’ve worked together before, and this way I don’t have to leave you too much,” he answered. 

“I told you, I’ll be fine. You’ll be home most nights anyway. I’ve got a lot to keep me busy and I’ll be heading back to work in a couple of weeks anyway,” I told him. 

Opening the door to his trailer, he ushered me inside then closed the door behind him. 

“You don’t get it do you?” he asked, backing me up against a wall. “I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it for me. I want you.” 

A shiver of anticipation ran the length of my spine, “There’s just one problem with all of this,” I said, looking into those cold green eyes. 

“What’s that?” he asked. 

“I’m not cleared for work yet. Still got three weeks to go.” 

“You’re here to instruct, not participate. There’ll be a few of us you’ll be working with” he said, pushing his body hard against mine, “but once you get your clearance you can...participate, if you wish,” he finished, his mouth so close to mine I could feel his breath on my bottom lip, double meaning made very clear. 

No way Hiddleston, far too early for this. Pushing against him, I knocked him off balance and quickly spun around pushing him up against the wall, hands on his chest, holding him in place while he looked down at me, Loki smirk firmly in place. 

“If we’re doing this, we’re doing it my way,” I said. 

“I love it when think you can...put me in my place. We’re doing what, your way exactly?” he asked. 

“All of it. While we’re here, we do it my way,” I answered. 

“While we’re here?” he questioned. “As in here at work, here in the trailer? You’re making this a little... _hard_...to discuss properly with me pinned against the wall love,” he finished saying, smirk still firmly in place. 

Sometimes I’d really love to wipe that smug ass look right off his face, other times I found it funny. 

“Stop it,” I laughed. “Seriously. Enough.” 

Trying his best to give me his ‘what did I do look’ he held his hands up in mock surrender. 

“I’ve got some pretty serious doubts about doing this,” I told him. 

“Why? We’ve worked together before love. We work well together. I promise I’ll behave myself. You’re in charge...while we’re here at least,” he said. 

“I can’t help but feel there’s an ulterior motive for all this. I just can’t figure out what it is,” I told him. 

“Come, sit,” he told me. 

Holding his hand, we moved to the little table and took a seat. 

“Ok, all fooling around aside,” he started, “I do want you with me. Look, we’ve just spent most of the last 6 months together. I keep thinking about what happened during pre-production and I don’t want that to happen again. I don’t want to be away from you anymore than I have to be. I know our relationship can be unhealthy at times, in that we can be very co-dependent. I just thought if you came in, it was a way of easing ourselves back into a more normal way of life without either one of us going through the insecure stage that we’ve both been known to go through. Of course, it’s entirely up to you whether you do it or not. We’ve been through a bit lately and I’m not ready to be away from you for lengthy periods of time yet.” 

Considering what he’d said I answered, “I thought this might have all been a ploy to stop me going back to work. I know you’re not happy about it. And yes, you’re right we are unhealthily co-dependent but for some reason it works. I don’t want to be away from you either, but if we’re doing this it has to be professional. No fooling around while I’m here and I'm not going to be here every day. I really do want to go back to work, I miss it. I still have to figure out what to do with the webpage, I feel obliged to keep it going at the moment. And I want to paint and take photos and write...I need to create. I don’t want to just be doing this. This is you. Not me.” 

“We can figure all the details out later. I just need to know whether you’ll do it or not. We need to get all your paperwork fixed up,” he said cupping my face. “And if you’re here you can hopefully help keep him in check. He’s coming, I can feel him.” 

“He’s not coming babe, he’s here. Not entirely yet, but he’s been hovering since pre-production. You know, when we were at The Bay after you proposed and I said yes, you told me I was different somehow. I said I was at peace. When we got married, I told you I wasn’t scared anymore. Both those events were massive for me not only in an emotional sense, but also in my head; coming to terms with things I’d let bother me for years. I’m better prepared for him this time. I can handle him,” I told Tom. 

It probably sounds odd to speak of Loki as if he’s real, but for us, he is. The little changes in Tom’s personality make him real. Tom becomes more controlling, demanding, rougher somehow. The differences are only subtle and most people wouldn’t notice them, but I do. So does he. I guess the advantage of working with Tom is that I know how much of Loki is coming home each day. It can vary a lot depending on how the day has gone. If it’s been a bad day filming with hold ups and delays it’s not unusual to get full blown Loki come home. It’s weird, he looks like Tom, sounds like Tom but isn’t Tom. At times I get the combination, mostly Tom but with just that little controlling, demanding streak of Loki’s, and at other times I get Tom, so gentle, so loving, and struggling with the things his alter ego does to me. Loki might be in for a surprise this time. I feel stronger, more in control and won’t back down quite so easily. This should be interesting. Bring on the fireworks. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I finished filling out all the necessary paperwork for my passes and permits then signed the confidentiality agreement. Together Tom and I took them to the powers that be and handed them all over. We were told everything was in order and Tom would be given everything in the next day or so. I wasn’t planning on starting until next week anyway so I was in no huge rush. 

Turning to Tom and smiling, I said, “I’ll head out and go do the things I was going to do before you so rudely interrupted me.” 

“Come back to the trailer just for a minute?” he asked me. “Please.” 

Studying his face for a few seconds before agreeing to join him, I said, “I really want to get to the grocery store and see Savannah this afternoon, so I won’t stay long ok?” 

At the mention of Savannah, he raised his eyebrows, “What do you need?” 

“I was going to get a black chemise the same as the white one you bought me. And judging by how things are going with you, I’ll probably be a fairly regular visitor I’m guessing,” I sighed. 

“Trailer. Now,” he ordered. 

“I beg your pardon?” I questioned. 

Fists clenched at his side, deep breath, a visible attempt at taking control, he closed his eyes briefly, opened them and said, “Will you come to the trailer? Now.” 

I waited. 

“Please,” he finally said. 

“Sure, let’s go,” I answered, getting in the little buggy and waiting for him. 

Arriving at the trailer, he held the door open for me, then followed me in, closing the door behind himself. Grabbing me and pulling me against him as soon as the door closed, he buried his face in my hair and drew a deep breath in. 

“Hold me. Please?” he said. 

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I held him tight. “You ok?” I asked. 

“I will be if you just hold me for a bit longer,” he answered. 

“I’m not letting go until you’re ready. I’ve got you,” I assured him. 

Giving me one more big squeeze, he pulled back and looked down at me, cupped my face and kissed me so gently. “Thank you,” he said against my lips. 

Waiting until he’d loosened his hold, I looked up at him, “Are you sure you’re ok?” 

“I am now,” he replied. “Just taking a little adjusting to being here, seeing myself like this again. Not being with you all the time. I’ll be fine.” 

“We got this babe,” I said. Reaching up and pulling his head down, I stood on tiptoe to kiss him. “I’m going to get going so I can get groceries or we won’t be eating. I’ll see you at home tonight.” 

“I’ll be home in a couple of hours. If you want to wait, I can come do groceries with you,” he said. 

Laughing I shook my head, “I don’t think that’s such a great idea really, do you? You’re all over socials at the moment because you’re back here. Besides, when you come home I want to shut the door on the outside world and have you all to myself. I’m being selfish.” 

“That sounds absolutely wonderful,” he said, opening the door for me. “See you in a couple of hours.” 

A quick peck on the lips, then down the steps and into the buggy both of us quiet while he drove me back to my car. Just before we got to the gate, I turned at looked at him. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. 

“Nothing’s wrong, but leave him here. I want my husband tonight,” I said. 

Nodding, “Yes ma’am. I love you.” 

“I love you too. See you soon,” I said. 

Getting out of the buggy, I didn’t bother looking back. There was no point, I knew what I was going to see. Cold green eyes staring through me. I swear if he came home tonight instead of Tom there were going to be sparks fly. I’m ready to take him on but not the first day back. 

… 

Walking into the lingerie store I was instantly aware of a change. Looking around there didn’t seem to be as much stock as there usually was. 

Savannah looked up, “Hello Mrs. Hiddleston,” she said with a big smile. 

“Still getting used to it,” I said. “It’s like a new pair of shoes; you love them, they fit, but they just don’t sit quite right until you’ve worn them a few times. And please, just call me missy, everyone else does. Do you remember the chemise Tom picked out the other day, the plain white one?” I asked her. 

“Yes, I do,” she smiled, “he was quite proud of himself when he picked it out.” 

“Do you have it in black?” 

Frowning, she went and had a look. “Sorry, no. Not in your size.” 

“Do you think you could order one in for me?” I asked. 

“We’re not actually taking orders at the moment,” she said. 

“Oh. Is there a reason?” I queried. 

She blew out a breath, “The shop’s up for sale.” 

“You’re selling?!” I exclaimed. “But why? No, you can’t.” 

“Oh, it’s not my shop. I’d never sell it if it was mine. I work here,” Savannah answered. 

“What!” I said, genuinely surprised. “Given the quality of your customer service, I honestly thought you owned it. Damnit, just when I find someone I can trust. Why is it being sold?” 

“Divorce settlement,” she explained. “So, I might not be here for much longer. I just wanted to say it’s been...interesting, but lovely to meet both you and Tom.” 

“Thank you for keeping our little secrets. I’m genuinely sad that there’s a possibility you won’t be here anymore,” I said then laughed, “Tom’s not going to be happy. Hopefully I’ll see you again.” 

Calling in at the grocery store, I did what I needed to do then headed home. I got a lovely surprise when I pulled up and saw Tom’s car in the driveway. Hearing me pull up, he came out to help me unload the car. Walking up to me, he wrapped me in his arms and hugged me tight before letting go and looking in the car. 

Pulling the larger of the canvases out of the car and glancing up at me, he shook his head and chuckled, “So you’ll be taking over the house again?” 

“No, outside. I’m doing spray paints this time. I want something different,” I answered. 

Taking the art supplies and groceries inside, we shut the door on the outside world. 

Putting things away, Tom looked around, “I thought you were going to see Savannah. I don’t see any bags or boxes.” 

“She didn’t have what I wanted. The shop’s for sale,” I said. 

“Savannah’s? The lingerie shop?” he asked. 

“It’s not her shop, she works there. I always thought it was hers, but apparently the owners are divorcing and the shop’s being sold,” I told him. “It’s a bugger because we’d just built that trust and now we have to hope the new owners either keep her on or are trustworthy.” 

“Why don’t you buy it?” he asked. 

“Yeah, right. I’ll organise it tomorrow,” I joked. 

“Darling, I’m serious,” he said. “Why don’t you buy it? Keep Savannah, and on her days off you could work. It would still give you time to do your training because I know you won’t give that up. If we’re away for work, you know the place would be safe with Savannah, maybe find someone else to work when you can’t. Something to think about anyway.” 

Standing in the kitchen thinking about what he’d just said I could see benefits to it. Something to think seriously about. I was just about to turn and ask if he wanted a drink when he grabbed me from behind, body rubbing up against mine. 

“And if you buy it, just think of the fun I could have,” he growled in my ear. 

A tingle of anticipation ran up my spine. 

“I told you to leave him behind.” 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**I'M NOT SCARED OF HIM**

“I told you to leave him behind.” 

Turning around to look at him, my heart hurt. He looked lost. 

“I tried. I can’t shake him. I don’t want him to hurt you but I don’t think I'm strong enough to stop him at the moment,” he said. 

“I don’t understand how it happened so quickly this time. It’s never been this fast. What happened?” I asked. 

“I’ve never been idle for this long before. I may not always play him, but I can’t remember the last time I went more than 6 months without working, without having to control some aspect of a character. You know how insidious he can be. As you said, he’s been hovering for a month now, biding his time. I don’t want him to hurt you,” he said grabbing me and wrapping me in his arms. “I don’t want him to hurt you.” 

“He won’t. I’m not going to let him,” I told him, wrapping my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest. “I won’t let him.” 

“Don’t underestimate him, he knows...” 

Cutting him off, I said, “He shouldn’t underestimate me. You’ve given me more courage than I ever believed possible. Besides, Loki and I have quite a bit common. Let the son of a bitch show his face. I’m ready.” 

Feeling reassured that I’d be ok, Tom left me to sort out some dinner while he put some music on then went to shower. After he came out, I left him in charge of dinner and I went to shower then fed the dogs. We had dinner then he loaded the dishwasher while I wiped the table and bench down, moving around each other in a synchronised dance of domesticity. Hard to believe that we had the threat of a fictional God, who, if he followed his usual path was hell bent on hurting me, hanging over our heads. Yet here we were, waiting for the inevitable intrusion. I almost wish he’d just get it over and done with. 

“What would you like to do love? Watch tv, a movie, listen to music, dance?” 

“Could we maybe talk about me buying the lingerie shop?” I asked. 

“Of course. I think it’s a great idea,” he said. 

Laughing, I looked at him, “Yeah, you would.” 

Laughing along with me, “Not like that, although it would obviously be one of the benefits. Without you getting uptight, you have to face up to the fact that it’s going to be months before you’re fully recovered physically, then you’ve got months of conditioning ahead of you. And before you jump down my throat, yes, I know you can do it but, if you’ve got the shop you’ve always got the option of focusing on the p/t work alone rather than having to run classes as well. Is it something you’d be interested in doing?” 

“Actually, it is. As you said, Savannah can run it on a day to day basis. I honestly thought it was her shop. I was stunned when she said it wasn’t, so I've no doubt she’d be fine. I’d be happy to do the days she has off. Hopefully she’s flexible so we can work around your schedule, and I can always get someone to come in on a casual basis,” I reasoned, getting more excited the more I thought about it. 

Tom’s right, I love being a trainer but I've got months ahead of me before I'm back to anywhere near reasonable condition, and, not to put too fine a point on it, I’m not getting any younger and it’s only a matter of time before my body starts to remind me that it might like to slow down a little. 

“Do you want me to organise my accountant to check over the books in the next couple of days love?” Tom asked. “If everything looks good, we can get the legals underway if you want to go ahead with it.” 

“I can do it. You’ll be busy. You start filming tomorrow don’t you?” I asked. 

“We certainly are,” he answered. “If you get time tomorrow darling can you get that lavendar cream for my face, just in case I react to that bloody makeup. I hate those bumps I get, the lavendar seems to soothe it. And I'll have plenty of time to call for you. Odin knows there’s lots of waiting around doing nothing.” 

My head shot straight up, “What did you just say?” 

“That I’d call for you. It’s not a big deal,” he shrugged. 

“No, after that.” 

“I’d be waiting around a lot?” he asked. “Well, I will be. Set and scenery changes, you know how it all works. Gets bloody boring.” 

Realising he had no idea what he’d said, I didn’t know whether to bring it up or drop it. 

“What?” he asked. “You’re giving me that look that says I've stuffed something up. I don’t want to tread on your toes, if you want to make the bloody call then make it. I won’t stand in your way.” 

“Calm your farm,” I told him. “I don’t mind if you make the call. When I asked if you’d have time you said ‘Odin’ knows there’s waiting around doing nothing.” 

He looked at me, “I did?” 

“No big deal babe.” I could see he was getting a bit uptight, so figured a change of subject was in order. “I know it’s still reasonably early, but I'm thinking I might go to bed. You’ll have to be up early anyway,” I said. 

“Sounds good to me. I’ll just see to the dogs then I’ll be in.” 

We lay and read for a little while, then I put my book down and rolled towards him, put my head on his chest, my leg over his and lay there listening to his heart beating. Putting his book down, he put his arm around me and gave a deep sigh. 

“What’s wrong my love?” I asked. 

“I just want to hold you while I go to sleep,” he answered me. 

“Hold away babe, I’m right here,” I said looking up at him. “It’s going to be ok. Stop worrying, it tears me up to see you worrying so much.” 

“It tears me up knowing what he’s done to you in the past. I don’t want him to do it to you again.” 

“I told you, I’m not scared anymore. Please stop worrying. He never really hurts me much anyway, a day and I’m over it. Don’t stress about it. Get some sleep,” I said softly. 

He bent his head down and kissed me ever so tenderly, “I love you so much.” 

“I know you do and I love you too,” I replied. 

I lay in his arms listening to his breathing even out, felt his body start to relax then heard his gentle snores. Extricating myself from his arms, I got out of bed and let myself outside. Setting up a canvas on the easel I got the spray cans out, lined them up then started painting. I’m not sure how long I was out there for, but I’m guessing from the amount of painting I'd got done that it had to have been at least an hour maybe an hour and a half. I put one spray can down and went to pick up another but stopped with my hand midair. I sensed him. There was no noise, just a presence. I didn’t bother turning, I didn’t have to. 

“Hello darkness, my old friend,” I said. 

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me back against his hard body, lips on my neck, “I’ve missed you.” 

The chapter titled 'Hello Darkness My Old Friend' available in Virtual Adult Adventures continues on from this chapter.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**IT'S NOT GOODBYE, IT'S SEE YOU LATER**

I could feel the sobs wracking her body, “I don’t want you to leave. I love Tom with everything I am, and I want and need him but I need you. You’re an asshole Loki, and I hate you, but I need you.” 

“Are you ok love?” I asked. 

I felt the intake of breath then felt her hold it as she tried to turn over. Lifting my body weight to allow her to roll over, I settled myself back down when she was on her back. Looking down through tear stained eyes she said, “Tom?” 

Nodding, I said, “It’s me. Are you ok? Are you hurt?” 

Pushing herself up on her elbows, eyes wide she again said, “Tom? It’s you?” 

“Yes, it’s me. Are you ok?” I asked. 

“I’m fine. I’m just a bit...is it really you?” 

“It’s really me,” I said, holding her when she sat up. 

“Hold me, please. Just hold me tight,” she said sliding down the bed. 

Putting my arms around her, I pulled her in tight. “I’ve got you sweetling. I’m not letting you go pet.”

…

“Tom? Is it really you?” I couldn’t quite be sure. Loki was here but then he was gone so quickly. He never left that quickly. I feel...actually I don’t know how I feel. Emotional goes without saying. Hurt, relieved, happy, sad, pissed off and more. 

“It’s really me,” he said.

Was it really him? How the hell did that happen so quick? So, does this mean Loki’s gone? I hate him, truly I do, but I’m not ready to say goodbye to him. There’s something about him that gets to me, I need him as much as I need Tom.

I feel a bit confused actually. He said he wasn’t going to be around anymore, well unless I really needed him, but he also said he’d always be here. So, is he saying I'm always going to need him, because I know that’s not true? I admit I don’t want him to leave entirely, but I don’t like what he’s been doing to Tom lately. The thought of him not being here anymore hurt. It’s a very thin line between love and hate. Loki and I walk that line. If he could just hang around and be like he used to be, way back when I first met him, I’d love it. Back when he was wild and chaotic, borderline dangerous and as exciting as hell. Before he became a controlling sadistic asshole like he had in the last few years. Yes, he’s always had that wild side, and there are certain events in the past that probably went too far, but, that’s another story for another time and we both survived it. 

All these thoughts ran through my mind in the time it took me to  realise it was Tom in bed with me not Loki and me asking him to hold me tight. All this in the space of about 2 seconds.

“Hold me, please. Just hold me tight,” I asked him, sliding down the bed.

I felt my husband's arms wrap around me and hold me tight. I felt safe. 

And then he spoke, “I’ve got you sweetling. I’m not letting you go pet.”

I froze. My body stiffened and I held my breath briefly.

“What did you just say?” I asked quietly, a feeling of dread washing over me.

“I said, I’ve got you and I’m not letting you go,” he replied.

“Yes, but what did you call me?” I questioned.

“I called you sweetling, pet,” he responded pushing me away from him.

Slowly, I looked up, almost scared to look in his eyes, not sure what I was going to find. Finally making eye contact, I saw Tom smiling at me. “He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“I know. It’s not me I’m worried about. It’s you. Is he really gone?” I asked.

“No, he’s never going to go, but it’s going to be ok,” he said.

“So, was that him that just...” I trailed off.

“It was both of us,” he answered reaching out to hold me again.

Allowing myself to be pulled into his embrace, I lay my head on his shoulder thinking about what he’d just said. It was both of them. Is this what it was always going to be like? Can’t fault the sex but the taunts? Not sure how long I can do that for.

“Do you really think I’m damaged?” I asked softly.

“I’m not going to lie to you darling,” he answered. “Yes. Yes, I do. But not in the way he wants you to think. And before you get upset, I love you for it and no, it doesn’t bother me. It never has. You never hidden it from me. It’s always been there and I want to protect you, even if it is only from yourself. You’re not alone, you’ve seen what he’s done to me. Those were his words, not mine. The rest of it was mostly me.”

“So, you did...that?” I asked pointing to my neck, my hair and pointing to the wall. “That was you?”

“I’m not proud of it but, yes. It was me,” he said.

“Oddly enough, I had a feeling you were there,” I told him. “Loki rarely calls me love. You do. He doesn’t rip clothing, he makes me strip while he watches, he likes to humiliate  me. He never used to but the last couple of years he’s changed. Where do we go from here then?”

“He’s part of me love. I don’t want to make him go away, not really. I just didn’t want to let him hurt you like he had done in the past. Like I let him, because I wanted you punished. To my eternal shame I let him do it. I had a lot of trouble coping with you not wanting to commit to me, you know that. The more you said no, the stronger he got; the stronger I let him get. There’s no excuse and I own it. I let him hurt you. No, that’s not true. I hurt you, it was me, I used him as an excuse. You’re not the only damaged one my darling. You said you were ready for him, I admit, I wasn’t sure if you were. You surprised both of us. I should know to never underestimate you. To answer your question – I don’t know where we go from here but I know he’s not going to hurt you anymore. Well, not in a way you don’t like,” he finished with a grin. “He knows,  _ I  _ know, what you like. We’ll talk more about it over the next couple of days ok? Right  now, we need to get some sleep. I start filming in a few hours and I believe you have a lingerie store to buy.”

“You really want me to buy it?” I asked.

“I really do love. I think it’s a smart move,” he replied. “Tell you what, come over to the studio tomorrow and, if you don’t mind hanging around for a while, we can make the call together when I’m on a break.”

“I’d like that,” I said. “I’ll head over for around 10am and wait in your trailer.” 

“Come, lay with me,” he said pulling me down to lay beside him, my head nestled in the crook of his arm. “And stay with me this time, no wanderings outside to paint. Promise.”

“I promise,” I said feeling excited about the path our lives were taking. The prospect of having the shop, having my gorgeous husband not stressing about his alter ego and having the alter ego without the stress. Life was suddenly looking pretty good.


	44. Tom Sets The Record Straight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ties in with her side of the story which you can read in Chapter 37. In The Beginning - The Prequel

**TOM SETS THE RECORD STRAIGHT**

I’ve just recently found out that my lovely wife has been writing about our lives together and sharing it with you. She doesn’t know I know. I _will_ tell her, but not just yet. I’d like to have the chance to tell you a few things from my point of view. Everything she’s told you is true but there’s two viewpoints to our story and you only have one. I’d like to give you some insight from my point of view. 

I still remember the first time I ever saw her. I was in Australia to film for Marvel and was out for an early morning run when she ran past me. Why do I remember her in particular I hear you ask? The answer is, I don’t know. I can’t pinpoint any one particular thing. She was dressed in tiny little black shorts that hugged her body in all the right places, a little black crop top with the cut-out shoulders, racerback I think it’s called, black cap, her shoes were black and grey and she had the brightest pair of pink socks I've ever seen. As she ran past, I admit I turned and watched her go. Regardless of what everyone thinks of me, I’m a man and she looked good. Yes, I’m going to look. The view from behind was every bit as good as the view from the front. 

Every morning we ran past each other and every morning I’d nod my head at her; and get no response. I knew she’d seen me, and without meaning to sound egotistical, I was fairly certain she knew who I was. It still took a couple of weeks to get her to respond but when she did, I knew it had been worth the wait. On this particular morning, I saw her running towards me and gave her eye contact as I had every other morning, did the usual head nod...and was rewarded with a smile. And what a smile it was! 

I looked forward to seeing that smile each morning, then came the morning I didn’t see her. I was surprised at how disappointed I felt. The only way to move forward was to talk to her so, next time I saw her I was going to give it my best shot. I didn’t have to wait long. The next day she’d stopped to have a drink and watch the sunrise. Running up to stand beside her I made a comment about how stunning the view was. She thought I was referring to the sunrise, I wasn’t. I was referring to her. We spoke maybe two sentences before she excused herself. It wasn’t enough for me. The fact that she didn’t seem to give a damn who I was intrigued me. It almost seemed like she was purposely trying to avoid any contact with me. Again, at the risk of sounding horrendously egotistical, I wasn’t used to being given the brush off. I promise you I’m not egotistical at all, quite the opposite and in some respects, it was refreshing to find someone so completely disinterested. The problem was, I was interested in her and I _wanted_ her to be interested in me. 

There was one day we were filming early and I knew I wouldn’t get to see her. I wondered if she’d think of me as I was thinking of her, would she miss seeing me? On this particular morning, a small crowd had gathered to watch filming. There were barricades in place and I was walking close to one of them when I saw her running along the boardwalk. As I watched, she was hit side on by a guy on a skateboard and fell through the rope landing squarely on my feet. To this day I feel terrible for being thankful that accident happened. Without that, I don’t think things would have taken the path they did. She looked rather gorgeous kneeling at my feet and I couldn’t help but tell her so. I noticed she told you about this bit. To her credit she had a smartass comeback and took no offence at my words and seemed completely relaxed until I asked if she needed help home. She kept smiling but the barriers were instantly thrown up and she left as soon as she could do so without appearing rude. 

I felt like I was getting nowhere fast when we happened to bump into each other at a pub one night. I’d seen her come in with a group of people and tried to stay out of sight but had heard the exchange between her and one of her companions about getting someone to sing with her. Well, I wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity like that so, I became her singing partner. She’s probably told you all of this so far. What she couldn’t know was how much she’d had an effect on me. The more she turned me down the more determined I was to get her to say yes, not because of ego, I was genuinely interested in finding out about her. When I saw her with her work colleague and realised there was the possibility of her having a boyfriend, I felt crushed. I didn’t know her, hadn’t really spoken to her but I knew she was the woman for me. I’ve never doubted it. She, on the other hand, was being infuriatingly stubborn and not giving me the time of day. That night at the pub, I managed to get her to promise to dance with me and deduced that she was single. She seemed to let her guard down a bit while we were dancing and I got to see a glimpse of just how lovely she was, but it was over all too soon and the barriers were back up before she left. 

I swear I had nothing to do with her being hired to be my trainer. As I said to her, I couldn’t possibly have known she worked as a trainer. To me it was a happy coincidence. She didn’t quite see it that way and even though she laughed it off, I could see part of her had genuine concerns about me stalking her. Oh, she was a cruel little thing that day, another little insight into her personality. I’ve always been a people watcher; I love to watch them, get an idea of who they are. In the few encounters we’d had, she let me see little snippets that were adding up to be a rather interesting picture. I knew that if she ever let me in, it would never be boring. The day I finally wore her down was the day she tried to outrun me. After admitting that I seemed like a nice guy she also told me she had no interest in me because of who I was. I’ve always been persistent and believe in going after what I want. I wanted her. Not, as she would think, because she was another conquest, but because she intrigued me. My persistence paid off and she agreed to coffee with me but on her terms. I behaved myself perfectly even though I was having very ungentlemanly thoughts about her. 

I apologise if I’m going over old ground here. I’m just reading through what she’s told you about the early days and trying to keep it all in chronological order. I just know that it feels like there’s never been a time I didn’t love her. 

Reading over what we’ve got down so far, I seriously considered making the poor writer delete these words that I’ve written but when she whimpered, I thought better of it. I usually do a much better job at expressing myself than I’m doing at the moment but this is the effect my lovely bride has on me. I can never quite think straight when it comes to her. She’s like a drug, the more I get, the more I need. Ok, let’s not worry about trying to keep it all in chronological order. Let’s just do this my way. 

... 

She’s stubborn, willful, at times arrogant and obnoxious, frustrating, insecure, opinionated, far stronger than she thinks she is, loyal, loving, resilient, protective to a fault, funny, witty, charming, beautiful, confident and highly intelligent. She is quite literally, a walking contradiction. She keeps me on my toes and I never know quite what to expect. Life is certainly never dull with her around. We had the best time together in the beginning, locked away from the outside world. I got to see another side of her and fell for her big time. We are the best of friends, but we can also be the worst of enemies. 

Oh, I forgot to mention the first time I kissed her. I do apologise for the randomness of this, it may happen more than once. You can’t help but be random when it comes to her. I think one of the reasons she loves Loki so much is that she relates to the chaos he brings, she has a dark streak a mile wide. Bear with me, we’ll get there in the end. 

The first time I kissed her was behind the tree. She was totally unsuspecting, which was just how I wanted it. A funny thing happened with that kiss. I knew I loved her even before I’d kissed her. Yes, I’m aware I hardly knew her but what can I say, I loved her. The heart wants what the heart wants. Anyway, as I was saying, I knew I loved her but with that kiss; I fell in love, and I am deeply in love with her still. _Deeply_ , in love. She felt it; that kiss. She felt it too. She wanted to deny it but I told her I'd call her a liar, and that’s one thing she’s not. So, she had to admit she felt it. 

The first time I had sex with her was indescribable. There would never be anyone like her, I knew that first time, I’d found what I was looking for, I was home. 

Other than work, the next 8 weeks were spent sneaking around solely in the company of one another, getting to know each other and generally having a wonderful time. Then everything turned to shit when the press got hold of the fact that I was seeing someone. To say she struggled to cope from the outset would be a huge understatement. It was always her one big fear, to have her world, her privacy taken away. As the press became more belligerent and the fans more vicious in their comments, she withdrew more and more, to the point she didn’t want to see me. She loved me, but couldn’t cope. I still remember how I felt, the pain of her words. It was, and still is if I let myself think about it for too long, a pure agony. She asked me over to tell me she was done. I begged; God knows I begged her not to do it. She did it. I told her I’d give her some space but that was the hardest thing. 

I hated the press for what they’d done, and at that point I wasn’t too keen on my so-called fans either. What right did they have to tear _her_ apart simply because _I_ fell in love? She’d done nothing wrong, neither of us had. For two weeks, I existed. I didn’t live, it was a literal existence. I went through the motions of what had to be done. I got through workdays then went and sat at my hotel, staring, thinking, hurting. I cried, I yelled, I threw things. I remember speaking to mum before anyone knew about us, only a couple of weeks after we’d started seeing each other. Halfway through the conversation my mother stopped me and wanted to know who ‘she’ was. I played dumb, but mum knew. Mum, God love her, told me ‘I won’t pry, but I know you son and whoever she is, she’s good for you.’ And here I was, I’d let her go. Making a decision, I sent her a text. She didn’t answer so I sent another. And another. I threatened to turn up if she didn’t answer. She answered but I went over anyway, let myself in, then committed an act that still shames me. 

There are no excuses for what I did, and no matter how much she says it’s fine, I know it’s not. I tried to intimidate her into taking me back and came very close to forcing myself on her. We both realised there was a bit of an issue when I got a raging hard on at the thought of forcing her to do anything I wanted her to, but also the fact that she found it exciting and was turned on. That night we came to the conclusion we were kindred spirits. We also realised something else, although she’d long suspected it; she was, as she terms it, ‘a little bit broken.’ Not, I hasten to add because she got turned on, but other things that were said.

I’m not going to divulge too much information out of respect for her but, a relationship she’d been in quite a while before meeting me had been...the only word I can think of to describe what she told me is ‘toxic.’ I’m not surprised she’s a ‘little bit broken.’ If anything I’m surprised she’s not a big bit broken. It made me more determined to convince her to come back. After a very awkward conversation about sex and how we both felt about what had happened, she said she wanted to try again. I would have given up everything for her right there and then if she said that’s what she wanted. From that moment on, she has been my number one priority. 

I know she’s discussed our sex life in graphic detail, I don’t have a problem with it. We have an awesome sex life and sex is important to both of us, hugely important to both of us. It’s one of the ways we express ourselves. She told me right from the start that she would never say no and that she was open to try nearly anything but there was only ever to be the two of us. I’ve never considered involving anyone else, she is truly my everything. I love her unconditionally and that includes all her little kinks and phobias. 

Now for some insight into my personality that people may, or may not have guessed. I was raised to be the perfect gentleman, to treat a lady like a lady, never make her do anything she doesn’t want to etc... I'm sure you can imagine. We discovered there’s another side to me, a much darker side. I have a terrible jealousy problem and, it turns out, I can be a little insecure. Both emotions only concern my feelings for her but they eat away at me, and every now and then, I need to do something with all those feelings...enter Loki. My alter ego. 

Loki allows me to do things that I, myself can’t do. I want to do them, but I can’t. Loki can do things she wants and likes without me feeling guilty. At times I want to crush her, dominate and control her, such is the effect she has on me, I want to own her. She knows. She never lets it happen, she pretends to, but she’s far too free spirited for it to happen. By the same token, I worship the ground she walks on. And in truthfulness it’s only one aspect of my personality that is like that. Don’t get me wrong, she gives as good as she gets in every way. Sometimes Loki scares her, I can see it, but I can’t stop it. She says it’s fine, but I usually go through a terrible period of guilt. I also know the power she has to hurt me, crush me, God knows she’s done it whether she’s known or not. I suppose we’re both a little broken but we’re the glue that holds each other together. I get that it wouldn’t work for a lot of people but it works for us and, to be honest, no one has the right to judge. 

Now a little about her from my point. She’s tried to walk away a few times, not because of outside influences, although that never helps, she gets these thoughts in her head and no amount of talking can stop it. She self-destructs every so often if she doesn’t get the release she needs. She needs to be able to express her darker side. Sometimes she paints, sometimes she takes photos, mostly she uses sex and other times she damages things, usually herself. Most of the time she’s fine, fairly well adjusted and easy going. On the odd occasion her other self comes out, I think even Loki would duck for cover. She’s a sight to behold when that side shows. She says I look different as Loki takes hold, let me tell you, Loki has nothing compared to the changes in her. She carries herself differently, her speech is slightly different and her eyes have something completely chaotic about them. Don’t think ill of her, or feel sorry for her, we both embrace this side of her as we do Loki. I’ve probably done a very poor job of explaining it. It’s nowhere near as bad as this sounds, and when that darker side does show, it’s mercifully quick. She’s tried medication but neither of us like what it does to her. She laughs and says she embraced her crazy a long time ago and celebrates it. I love her for it. There’s no one in this world like her, and she’s mine. She chose me. 

Back to us...I had to leave for work not too long after she said she wanted to try and make it work. It didn’t go well. That stubborn streak of hers is going to be the death of me one day I swear. She refused to give up her job and come with me. Instead we spent months apart being miserable. I’d had enough and turned up at her place one afternoon, and left instructions she was to follow; to my surprise she didn’t question anything. I got a shock when I saw her sitting with the blindfold on. She’d lost so much weight, there was nothing of her. ‘Scary thin’, was how her mother termed it. She was right. I proposed for the first time that night. She turned me down flat. No discussions, no compromise. My options were to let her go or agree to her terms which were that she would happily live with me. I had to agree, I couldn’t be without her, but she cut me deep that night and that scar never quite healed. 

Time passed as time has a habit of doing. She came to meet my family. Mum told me she was ‘special’ and meant it in the nicest possible way. Right from the start mum knew she was right for me and started referring to her as Daughter-In-Law, or Dil for short. Mum also knew she was ‘damaged’ and loved her all the more for overcoming everything she had. It used to bother me that mum never used her name but when I found out she loved having a special little nickname I couldn’t help but smile and accept that she would forever be known in the Hiddleston family as Dil. 

Chris was the one that started calling her missy and it came about because she’s a smart ass. I don’t remember the exact conversation but I know there was reference to height differences and she said something about hold your mjölnir Thor then got mouthy with him. The result was Chris turning to her and saying something about, “you’re a right little madam aren’t you missy?” and the name just stuck from then on. These days she even refers to herself as missy 

I met her family and found them to be charmingly dysfunctional and suddenly understood a lot of my lovely wife’s personality traits. Her family are in her terms, ‘absolutely crazy, delightfully loopy and bonkers’. 

We were happy. We were working it out as we went, but we were together and we were happy. And then I had to propose again. I got turned down flat. And again, there was no real explanation. Just ‘no.’ I admit I was hurt, deeply hurt. What was wrong with me that she wouldn’t commit to me? Was I not good enough for her? I knew she loved me, was in love with me. There was never any doubt of that. I know she wanted to spend her life with me, she’d told me many times, but marriage was not now, nor would it ever be, going to happen. If I talked about it, she’d withdraw; sometimes for days. 

She left her job and came to work as a trainer on some of the jobs I did. We sold her house and bought another one, settling on buying in Australia because it made sense for her to be where she was comfortable for the times I was working and she didn’t, or couldn’t, come with me. I braved a third marriage proposal and got another flat rejection and told not to ask again because the answer would always be no. I still couldn’t understand why. In every sense we were married. For the life of me I couldn’t work out what the big deal was. She felt the same: In every sense we were married, why change things. I admit, it hurt, that scar running just a bit deeper. Each time she rejected me or changed the subject, it hurt but I loved her so life continued on. 

You know the rest of the story. She finally caved in and said yes. There are no words that can accurately describe how it felt when she said yes to my marriage proposal. To put that engagement ring on her finger and know that she’d taken a step forward and was willing to partially commit to me, meant so much. The relief I felt when she actually told me we were getting married is indescribable. A part of me never thought we’d get there to be honest. Give her time and she’ll over think every situation, second guess herself, change her mind so many times she doesn’t know what she’s doing. I think now, for the first time since I laid eyes on her, I feel truly relaxed about us. She’s finally committed to being mine, even going so far as to take my name. That was a massive surprise, but I couldn’t be happier. 

As you’ve realised, I love her. I am in love with her. I not only want her, I need her. She is the other part of me. Without her, I’m nothing. Without her I don’t want to ‘be.’ Without her, there is nothing. She tells me she’s in love with me. She tells me I am her everything, without me there is nothing. Without me she would cease to ‘be.’ I believe her. Is it healthy? No. No it’s definitely not. But I’m comfortable with it, so’s she. She’s an obsession. At this point, and maybe forever who knows, there is no room in our lives for anyone else. She’s in my thoughts every second of the day. 

This turned out to be a lot darker than I had planned on it being, but she always shows the lighter side of life. I think you deserve to know there is a darker side, you’ve seen shades of it. Now you have a slightly better understanding of it. 

Don’t hold any of this against her. I’m responsible for a lot of what she goes through, but don’t think any less of her for any of this. 

I guess we’re both just a little bit broken but our broken parts fit together perfectly and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 


	45. Feelings Of Guilt,   Quick Visit, Tom Has A Say, Had Enough

**FEELING GUILTY**

Hearing the shower, I guessed Tom was up and had been for an early run. Throwing back the covers I got up and had a huge stretch, all the little niggles and kinks from last night making themselves known. Touching the back of my head I felt a bit of a lump there, not too bad considering, I thought as I padded over to the bathroom just in time to hear the water shut off. 

“I was going to join you,” I said as Tom looked up then looked quicky away before grabbing a towel to dry off. 

Wrapping the towel around his hips and heading for the bedroom, he called over his shoulder, “I’d end up late if you did that, but I’ll take a raincheck for tonight. I’ll go put coffee on while you shower.” 

“Sure. Thanks,” I replied. 

5 minutes later I was done and went to the kitchen to join him for coffee. Pouring mine, I moved to give him a hug but he turned towards the sink, put his cup down then headed to the bedroom. 

Following up the hallway, I stood in the doorway and watched as he went about getting dressed. 

“You going to avoid me all morning?” I asked. 

“I’m not avoiding you. I need to get ready to go to work,” he replied. 

Walking over to him, I went to put my arms around him for a hug but he took a step back and put his hands up. Looking up at him, I shook my head, turned and walked out. 

Heading back to the kitchen, I poured myself a second coffee then walked over to the back door looking at the painting I'd been doing last night. Paint cans were still lined up, canvas still on the easel, thank goodness it was all undercover and hadn’t been damaged by the dew that had fallen. Funny how the daylight makes it look different. I hadn’t been happy with it last night. It was ok but I didn’t feel I'd managed to capture the movement of the water I'd been hoping for but now, in the daylight I could see it was what I'd been hoping for. 

I felt him behind me just before his hands came around my waist and he pulled me back against him. 

“Dark and stormy ocean,” he said against my ear as he looked at the painting with me. “Is that an indication of how you’re feeling? A bit turbulent? I’m sorry love, I shouldn’t have pulled away from you just now.” 

“Why did you?” I asked leaning back against him still looking at the painting. “Do you think it looks turbulent?” 

“You haven’t looked in a mirror this morning have you? And yes I do, but I think that may be more of a reflection on my feelings than your painting,” he answered. 

Turning, I looked up at him, “No, I haven’t looked in a mirror and what’s bothering you?” 

“Once you’ve looked in the mirror you’ll know what’s wrong,” he replied. “And I'm not sure if turbulent is the right word. It just resonates with me. It looks like those big fat waves that you see ships ride up and back down. Almost like the bubbles in water when it does a slow boil. I’m really not making much sense. Darling, I have to get ready to go. Are you still coming over to call the accountant?” 

“I’ll head over for about 10am if that’s ok. I know I’ll have to wait but I’d rather be there and ready for when you get your break. I’ll bring my laptop so I can do some stuff on the webpage and maybe even get some writing done,” I said. 

“Speaking of writing,” he said. “You’ve been writing about us.” 

“You knew I did that. I told you when I first started doing it. You didn’t seem to mind so I just kept going. For some strange reason people seem to enjoy my mad scribblings. Is there a problem?” I asked. 

“No love. I was just going to let you know that I know you’re still doing it and that...” he paused. 

“And what?” I prompted. “Go on.” 

“I wrote a piece and posted it on your story page,” he said. “About us. When we first met and the early days. From my point of view.” 

About a thousand thoughts crowded my brain. What early parts exactly, had he told? What on earth possessed him to do it? How was it received? Did he read what I’ve actually written or just knows it’s there? Does he know I write about our sex life? And on and on it went. 

Quietly chuckling, “I can see you double, triple and quadruple thinking everything you’ve written and said and yes, I have read it. Before you work yourself up too much, I don’t have a problem with it, even the stuff about our sex life; the very _graphic_ stuff about our sex life. Just one thing though my love...” 

“And what’s that?” I asked, relieved that he was ok with everything I’d done. 

“You let _me_ write sometimes. Would that be ok? The people that read what I wrote seemed to like it so I thought maybe I could do one from my view point every so often,” he said. 

“Fine by me,” I answered. “You best get moving. I’ll see you later this morning,” I told him. 

With Tom gone, I went to check the mirror and see what had him so uptight. Well, yes I can see what his issue is. There on my neck was a perfect imprint of his lovely long fingers. Guess I’ll be wearing a high neck top and some makeup for a few days. I did some tidying up, fed the dogs and played fetch with them for while then checked the time and got ready to head to the studio. I had to wait for clearance because I still hadn’t received my pass yet so used the time to message Tom to let him know I was here whenever he got a break. 

Once cleared, I was given a lift to his trailer. Letting myself in, I sat down with the lap top responding to requests and some messages on the papping the paps page. Really must get that all sorted out in the next day or so. I wasn’t sure what to do with it because if we went ahead and bought the shop, chances are I wasn’t going to have time to do much with it. I’ll work it out when the time comes. 

Looking around the trailer, I had to smile to myself. It was so very Tom. Stereo sitting at the back of the table so he could play his music, just to the side of that lay a small pile of books with a stack of bookmarks, notepad, pen and highlighter so he could mark things that he either wanted to remember or research. On a shelf there sat a photo of the two of us up at The Bay, me sitting on his lap on a beach chair flashing the engagement ring, smiles a mile wide. That would be joined by a wedding photo once we got some from my family if I know him the way I think I do. Various charging cords for phones, laptop and Lord only knew what else sat in a basket on the bed along with a jacket and set of keys. 

I opened a fresh word document and thought I might start doing some writing, I had a few storylines floating around in my head. It didn’t take long for me to get totally immersed in the story and my fingers flew across the keyboard. 

Hearing the door open but not really registering it, I kept typing until I became aware of a presence standing over me. Looking up I let out a squeal. There was Loki. Black boots, full leathers including overcoat, black wig, colourless face....and Tom’s eyes. “Hello sweetling, I’ve been looking forward to this,” he growled as he bent and nipped my ear lobe. 

Laughing, I playfully slapped his chest, “Knock it off Hiddleston, we’ve got a phone call to make. But first, I want the kiss and hug that you so rudely denied me this morning.” 

____________________________________________________________________________________________Vi___________________________________________________-

The chapter Loki's Quick Bang available in Virtual Adventures of the Adult Kind

**QUICK VISIT**

Suddenly it seemed very cramped in the trailer. Tom is quite an imposing figure ordinarily as himself, but when you add the boots, hair and costume he seems even bigger, larger than life. And hot. I know I've had some major issues with Tom’s version of Loki’s character, but there’s no denying that he is gorgeous. I think Tom is the most gorgeous human being ever put on earth but to see him in full costume is just...yeah, it just is. Even with the makeup caked on his face, he’s still freaking hot! 

“What’s wrong?” Tom asked. “Is it making you uncomfortable given what’s happened the last few days?” 

“Hell no! You look hot. I’ve always had a massive soft spot for this look,” I grinned as I tugged his wig. 

“You just love a bad boy,” he laughed as he grabbed me and pulled me against him. 

“You might want to stop that if we’re going to make this phone call,” I told him. 

“Hmm, I guess you’re right,” he said, reluctantly letting me go. 

“But you still owe me the hug and kiss you rudely neglected to give me at home this morning.” 

“I don’t think it will be too much of a hardship for me to pay up,” he said lowering his mouth to mine, gathering me in tight against him, hands starting to wander where they shouldn’t. 

Pushing his chest lightly, I shook my head, “You don’t give up do you?” 

Feigning mock innocence, he placed his hand on his chest and said, “Me? What did I do?” 

“You know damn well what you did. Keep your hands to yourself. We have to make a phone call. How long have we got?” I asked. 

“I’ve only just come out of makeup love. They’re setting up and they’ll give me a shout when they’re ready. I’m not sure exactly how long but time enough to make the call,” he replied. 

Making the call, he spoke to the receptionist then was put through to the accountant. After explaining why we were calling, we asked if he could check the books and get back to us as soon as possible. He said he should be able to get back to us within a couple of days and let us know whether it was a viable business concern. 

“I’ll have to set up a meeting at the bank to talk to the loans officer too babe," I said. 

Looking at me like I’d lost my mind Tom said, “You what?” 

“I’ll need to get a loan to buy the business, I think. I don’t think my savings will cover the purchase price. I’m doing ok but with not working for a while, I’ve had to use some,” I answered. 

Still looking at me as if I’d suddenly grown two heads, he shook his head and said, “You’ll do no such bloody thing. You know how much I make. You don’t need a loan.” 

Squaring my shoulders and sighing I looked up at him, “If _I’m_ buying the business, then yes, I will need a loan. You know how I feel about taking anything from you. It’s enough that you do as much as you do.” 

“I admire that you want to do it love, really I do. But it just doesn’t make good business sense to get a loan and have to pay interest on a loan when we have the money to buy it outright. Let’s look at this logically ok?” he said. 

I hate logic; and I hate it when he’s right straight up and I can’t argue my point. 

“Then it goes in your name and you can employ me,” I told him. “I’m not having you buy it for me.” 

“Why the hell do you have to be so damn stubborn and frustrating on everything when it comes to financials?” he questioned. “We’re married for God’s sake. What’s mine is yours.” 

“I’ve never looked at it that way and I’m not about to start. You worked for it, it’s yours,” I said. 

“I worked for it yes, but I couldn’t have done it without you supporting me. You’ve worked just as hard for my success as I have, if not harder. You’ve supported me through every job I’ve had, helping me with research, reading lines, working your own job, doing everything when I’ve been completely overwhelmed, put up with me being in and out at all hours...” 

“Yeah, I get it, you’ve got a weird job. But the fact remains, it’s _you_ doing the work,” I cut in. 

“You _are not_ working for me. Don’t be bloody ridiculous,” he said. 

“I’m not taking your money Tom. Either I get a loan or I work for you. End of story,” I argued. 

“Let’s just wait and see what the accountant has to say first. We might be arguing for nothing, it may not be a viable concern,” he said. 

Realising there was no point in carrying on the conversation at the moment I let the subject drop. 

“I best get going let you go do whatever it is you’re meant to be doing,” I told him. 

“They’ll come and let me know when I’m needed,” he told me. 

Looking up at him, a couple of inches taller than usual because of the boots, I felt tiny. Damn but he looked fine dressed in those leather pants and shirt, the overcoat was awesome and the wig and did I mention those leather pants and.... 

“Something wrong love?” he asked, smirk on his face. 

Swallowing hard, I shook my head. 

“You sure?” he said coming closer. 

“N-n-ohhh,” was all I got out as his mouth came down on mine, his hair falling across my neck. 

“You were saying little one?” he asked, mouth hovering just above mine. 

I answered, “How long have we got?” 

“As long as it takes,” he said. 

…. 

There was a bang on the door, “Mr Hiddleston, Tom, you’re needed on set. Tom? Did you hear me?” 

“It’s going to have to wait,” Tom yelled. 

“Sorry, but they’ve almost set up. They want you now,” the voice said. 

“Well they’re going to have to wait, I’m busy with my wife,” he growled. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The adult story in chapter 30 titled Am I Enough follows this story and is available in Adventures of the Adult Kind.

**TOM HAS A SAY**

She frustrates me and drives me to distraction yet I can’t help but admire her principles. I know she wants this lingerie shop even though she’ll play it cool and walk away from the whole deal if it means turning to me for the money. Too stubborn for her own good. I can’t have her getting a loan, it makes no sense whatsoever. But then again, neither does she sometimes. I have an idea, a possible solution to the problem but I have to be careful how I handle it. If I can either present it to her as a wedding gift or get her to accept an interest free loan, we could avoid a huge amount of stress. If the accountant gives the nod, I've seriously considered not telling her and just going ahead with the purchase and presenting it to her as a wedding gift in lieu of a honeymoon. Whilst she won’t exactly be thrilled about it there’s not really a lot she can do. And if I end up having to employ her until she gets over herself, then so be it. And yes, she really is that stubborn. When I get some time off, I want to try and head back home and see my family so we still won’t really get the opportunity for a proper honeymoon before I’m back in the studio for the next project. No point in worrying about it too much until we hear back from the accountant anyway, if it’s not a viable business concern then I’ll have to talk her out of buying it. That should prove interesting. 

I love being back at work, love the structure, the discipline. I’m not terribly fond of being idle, however I’m not thrilled at the prospect of leaving my lovely bride without anything to keep her focused. She also thrives on routine, discipline and structure. Unpredictable at the best of times, when she’s left to her own devices unsupervised it can prove...chaotic? Disastrous? Never dull anyway. I never know what to expect when I get home, or at times, if I’ll even have a home. Hopefully she’s painting, that tends to keep her focused, or out with the camera somewhere. At least as of next week I can have her here a few days a week training us all but knowing her she’ll be trying to do too much because she’ll just have to show us how it has to be done properly. 

I wasn’t overly surprised by the reaction she had to seeing me in costume this morning; she’s always had a huge soft spot for mischievous Loki. A man less secure may have hang ups about it, but for me personally, I love seeing her reaction to the costume. My only real concern was what I've put her through recently, but after that brief hesitation she seemed fine. She has a childlike wonder about her when it comes to the characters I play and wants to play with them and get to know them, and ‘get to know them.’ She finds acting fascinating and loves to chat about the process but finds the waiting around tedious. I suppose she’s not alone there. Oh well, here goes. Back on set. I’ll be back when I can. 

… 

A break in filming as they set up for some stunt work. I don’t seem to be able to focus on the tasks at hand as I keep thinking back to ‘that visit’ from her this morning and our little escapade in my trailer. Why is it after all these years I still can’t get enough of her? And the thought of her working with lingerie all day isn’t terribly helpful when it comes to these trousers. Thank God they provided modesty flaps for me after the debacle of the costume in the first movie. 

I think the shop would be good for her and, I have to be honest there is a bit of an ulterior motive. I’d really like her to ease up on the training and classes, she pushes herself too hard and she’s going to end up frustrated that it’s taking so long to get back into peak condition, she’ll do something stupid and end up back where she started. I’m not sure exactly how she goes about writing these each day. I know she writes about our lives together; I've read most of them, but as she’s not with me at the moment it’s a little hard to know what she’s doing or thinking. I suppose I’ll get better at this as time goes by. 

I know she’s written about Loki in the past. I’m the one who now has to come to terms with all that has gone on. I am seeking counselling. I haven’t mentioned it to her yet. Not that I'm ashamed or embarrassed by it, that’s not it at all. I need some time to process what I’ve done before I say anything. I know _why_ I did it, I just need to process it. Anyway, I'm being called back. Back later. 

... 

I'd forgotten how tough stunt work can be. Those bloody harnesses can cut into places you’d rather they didn’t, then there’s the motor on the wires that can be a little unpredictable and you find yourself upside down flying along a zipline. Oh well, such is the life of an actor. With luck there’ll be a hot shower followed by a massage when I get home. I might get her to use some of the oils she uses, they always seem to help me recover quicker. Oh, that reminds me. I need her to get that lavender cream for my face. I’ll just text her, bear with me. 

‘Darling, did you remember the cream for my face?’ 

‘Hey boo, forgot. Will go get it now. How you doing?’ 

‘Don’t go out just to get it. Get it next time you’re out. Doing ok, be better when I see you.’ 

‘What do you want for dinner? I can’t decide.’ 

‘Thai beef salad?’ 

‘Oh, yum! I’ll go get the cream for your face. Love you lots, and don’t forget: you owe me Hiddleston.’ 

‘I haven’t forgotten. Trust me, this is one debt I can’t wait to pay. Love you too. Shouldn’t be too late.’ 

At least getting out of character is a lot quicker than getting into character. I look forward to getting the wig off. Ordinarily I would have grown my own hair and dyed it but not knowing when filming was resuming, I never quite got around to it. To be honest, it’s probably a good thing with the engagement and wedding, at least in the photos we look like ourselves. I'd really like to take her away for a weekend, somewhere near the water would be nice. The trouble is it only takes one person to approach for a photo then others come up and before I know it, she’s holding bags, wallets, babies and God knows what else while everyone gets their photos and we end up with no time to ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, I love interacting with those that love my work and I’m usually quite happy to do the photos but not when it comes to our time together. She’s always a good sport about it but I feel it’s not fair on her. Have I mentioned how much she means to me, how much I love her? Probably, but I feel I can never say it enough. Oops, I’m being called again. Back soon. 

... 

Done for the day. Loki’s staying here, Tom’s heading home. Music on in the car. I seem to have a bit of a thing for Kings of Leon at the moment, don’t ask me why but I find myself listening to either them or The Killers a lot. Traffic’s light and before you get uptight about me writing this while I'm in the car, I’ve got talk to text switched on. Another 5 minutes and I should be home. 

2 more corners now. 

Gates are open, into the driveway I go. Gates closing, car locked. 

Opening the front door. There she is. She’s coming for me and she has ‘that’ look on her face. 

Later folks. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**HAD ENOUGH**

Lying in bed listening to Tom’s gentle snores I thought about what I was going to do for the day. I’m so bored not working. It’s driving me crazy. I know I start with him next week, but even so, that’s only a couple of days a week and only a few hours a day. Who knows what’s going to happen with the shop, and Savannah will do that most days anyway, I don’t want to get in her  way. I miss being physical, I miss the training, the classes. I’m done with what the physical therapist says. I know my body, know what it’s capable of. 

Quietly getting out of bed, I got my clothes and shoes and snuck out to the family bathroom, got dressed, grabbed my phone and air pods, a bottle of water and headed out. No, I’m not stupid enough to run...yet. I need to build up some muscle but I'm done with ‘taking it easy.’ 

Letting myself out of the gate, I started walking, it felt amazing to be out and doing something again. Losing track of time, and distance, I got brought back to reality when my phone rang. I didn’t even get to say hello before he started.

“Where the bloody hell are you?” he asked.

“Um, oh bugger,” I said looking around. “A bit further away than I intended.”

Sounding a bit on the cranky side he growled down the phone, “Yes, I know. I can see from the tracker on your phone. Please tell me you’re not running. You know you’re not...”

“I’m not a complete moron,” I snapped, cutting him off. 

“Well, are you heading home? How long will you be?” he asked.

“You’re the one tracking me, you tell me. I have no idea how long I’ll  be; I'll get there when I get there,” I said. “Shouldn’t be much more than 45 minutes I wouldn’t think.”

“45 minutes? Should you be doing that ...you know what? Do your walk, and when you can’t move maybe then you’ll listen to …"

I ended the call. I’m quite sure he thinks I’m a complete imbecile sometimes. Counting down in my head, 5, 4, 3, 2, 

“Do not hang up on me,” he said.

“Then quit nagging me. I’m not a freaking 2-year-old. I know what I can and can’t do it. If it  hurts, I’ll stop. Thanks for stuffing up a great mood Hiddleston. Really appreciate it. I’m on my way home, I may or may not see you when I get there. If you’re going to be pissed then I'll take it slow and see you tonight,” I told him.

“I’m going for a run, hopefully you’ll be back by the time I get home. I’ve put coffee on and fed the dogs. I’d like to see you before work. Just don’t over...just take your time. I know you’re not a child, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself and end up back at square one. I’ll see you soon,” he said, ending the call.

My God that man could be the most infuriating person on earth and before you go defending him and telling me he’s only doing it because he’s worried, no, no he’s not. He’s doing it because he’s got used to me being right where he wants me. 

Heading for home at a comfortable pace, music playing, I was off in my own little world, totally oblivious to the world around me. I’d been walking for a good half hour I suppose when I spied him running towards me. Seriously? Checking up on me now? Too much. Already pissed because he’d ruined my good mood, I was spoiling for an argument when he ran up beside me. 

Pulling the  airpods out I was all set to snap at him when he held his hands up, “Before you yell, I just want to say I’m sorry. I know you’re not a  2-year-old . I know I can be over protective...”

Walking side by side, I looked over to him,  _ “Can _ be?  _ Can _ ? Try  _ are _ . You  _ are _ overprotective. I’m a couple of weeks away from being cleared. Probably could have been cleared if my damn quad wasn’t misbehaving. I’m fine. I’m so bored, so tired of being out of shape. I’m not running a marathon for God’s sake, I’m walking,” I said. “I’ve decided I want to go back to work as of next week. I’m going in today to see them and see what we can work out. I was only meant to be gone 10 weeks and it’s almost 13. I miss it.”

“Remember you start with me next week, and what about the shop? You’re not going to have time to do everything,” he said.

“I told you I wanted to go back to work as soon as I could. I knew there was an ulterior motive for you wanting me to buy the shop. You don’t want me to go back to the gym, do you? You want me to quit it altogether.”

Walking up our driveway, I stopped just before the gate and looked at him. “You’re not denying it?” I asked.

Shaking his head, he looked at me then shrugged, “What’s the point. No, I don’t want you to go back. Happy now? I don’t want you to go back to the gym.”

“But that’s like me saying I don’t want you act anymore.”

“You asked ok. I’m just telling you how I feel. I didn’t say it was fair. I didn’t say you couldn’t go back. I’m simply saying I don’t want you to. What do you want me to do? Would you rather I lie to you?” he asked. “Are we going in?”

Walking through the gate then into the house, I turned and said, “Why?”

“Why don’t I want you working there?” he asked.

“Yes. What’s the problem?” I questioned.

I could see him choosing his words carefully which meant he’d been thinking about it for quite some time but didn’t want to piss me off any more than he already had. Pouring coffee for both of us while he considered his words, I stood patiently and waited. 

“No matter how I put this, you’re not going to like it and it’s going to sound selfish, so I’m just going to put it out there ok?” he asked.

I didn’t say anything just stood there and nodded.

“You know how much money I make. Imagine how it feels for me knowing you’re out there working, not for yourself, but for someone else when I have all that money. And before you say ‘yes but it’s your money’ it’s not the point. My wife, who I am more than capable of supporting, is out there making money by working for someone else and it makes me feel like shit. I don’t really care what other people think but look at it from my point, people talk. It makes it look as though I refuse to support you when in actual fact, I would love nothing more than to support you. The shop would be different because it would be yours, you’d be working for yourself. I’d be perfectly happy for you not to work at all but I know you enjoy working, and I completely understand your desire to maintain your fitness, but I’d just rather you didn’t work for anyone else. So, there you have it,” he said. “I have to get ready to go. Please don’t be pissed.”

“I’m not pissed, but I need to work. I don’t want to fight with you. We’ll talk about it later ok? Have a great day babe, I love you,” I said.

He pulled me close. “I love you too. I’ll see you later.”

…

Pulling up in the ‘reserved for staff’ carpark, I locked the car and headed inside the gym. Inhaling, I felt like I was home. This was my place, my people. It was the quiet period between all the early morning clients and the mum’s doing school drop off classes so I was able to catch up with most of my coworkers. 

“Hey, here she is. So, how’s the knee?” Tim asked. 

We often laughed that we were all still here, having worked together for the better part of about 12 years now. 

“Not too bad, lazy quad making life a bit difficult but all in all, I’m doing fine,” I said giving him a hug. Jai, Michelle and Megan all popped their heads out and came for a chat also. Michelle, eagle eyes that she is, grabbed my hand. “Holy shit! Is that what I think it is?” she asked pointing to my wedding ring.

Laughing, at her facial expression I nodded, “Sure is. Tom and I got married.” 

Amid whoops and cheers we had to have a group hug with lots of ‘I can't believe you finally did its.’ 

“So, when do you start back?” Tim asked. “We’ve missed you.”

“I’m glad you’re all here,” I said. “I’ve got something to tell you all. I’m not coming back. I’m leaving...permanently.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	46. Unemployed, She Quit, On The River, Here We Go Again

**UNEMPLOYED**

Getting back in the car to drive home I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt. When did I decide that I was leaving my job? As the words came out of my mouth to be honest. I seriously had every intention of going back. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind, Tom made sense. Don’t tell him that though, I’d never hear the end of it. I know I’m blessed that I don’t have to worry financially for the immediate future, but I still need to work. I refuse to let him support me, then there’s the boredom factor. Boredom and I don’t get along, ask Tom. Things tend to ‘happen’ when I get bored. 

If I, _we_ , don’t end up buying the shop then I’ll probably look at working for myself offering my services as a personal trainer. I know I'm working with Tom and the crew from next week but that’s only for as long as they’re filming. I still need to look beyond that. Do I tell him I’ve left or leave it until he gets home? I’ll leave it, don’t need the jubilation on the other end of the phone until I’ve had time to let it sink in. 

Arriving home, I wandered around unsure what to do with myself. It wasn’t the lack of things to do that was getting to me, I just felt unsettled within myself. Should I have told Tom I was going to quit? Would have been a bit hard considering I didn’t know myself. Too damn late now anyway. My knee seemed to have pulled up fairly well after this morning’s walk. Maybe a workout is what I need. Something physical. 

I worked out and it helped settle me down mentally, then I cleaned, moved furniture, hit the paps page and sorted that out while announcing I’d be stepping back, thanking everyone for all their support and encouraging everyone to keep going with it, happy in the knowledge that ‘together we’d made a difference’. I was off and on sporadically, couldn’t devote proper time to it. I checked my savings and said a silent prayer to the financial Gods that I'd be ok, and did some more painting. I need more to do; I can’t do this. Feels like the walls are closing in on me. 

… 

Checking the time, I realised it was getting on a bit and it probably wouldn’t be that long until Tom came home. I was doing pizza for dinner. Having made the base earlier I added the topping. I’m feeling a bit nervous about telling him I’m unemployed, seriously hope he meant what he said this morning about wanting me to leave. I guess I'll know shortly, sounds like his car and Bobby and Paddy are wagging their tails. 

He walked through the door, greeted the dogs then looked over to me and held his arms out. I went to him and hugged him. 

“About this morning. Are we ok?” he asked. “It’s been on my mind all day. I even fluffed my lines. I know what I said was incredibly self...” I cut him off by putting my finger in his lips to shush him. 

“We’re fine,” I told him. “I need to have a chat with you but it can wait until you’ve had a drink and had some time to unwind. Pizza for dinner, homemade. Hope that’s ok.” 

“The pumpkin one?” he asked. 

“Yep. Did you want a drink?” 

“Love that pizza and a scotch would be nice. Did you have a good day? Looks like it, the whole place has been rearranged. How in the name of all that’s holy did you manage to move that sideboard? No, on second thoughts, don’t tell me. It’s probably best I don’t know. Place looks good love,” he said looking around. 

Handing him the scotch, I smiled, “Wasn’t sure if you’d like it but I was bored with it, and bored with me.” 

“Boredom and you aren’t friends. You’ve been painting,” he said. 

“How’d you know?” I asked. 

Walking over to me, he ran his finger along the underside of my jaw, “You’ve got blue paint on your face,” he chuckled. “Very becoming.” 

“Oh, hush you,” I laughed. “I get carried away, what can I say. I really love the painting though, really happy with how it turned out. Would you like to see it?” 

“Is it finished?” he asked. 

“Almost, but finished enough that I don’t mind you seeing it,” I told him. 

“You must like it my love, very unusual for you to let anyone see anything unfinished,” he said taking my hand and following me out to the shed where I'd stashed the easel and canvas. 

Taking the canvas off the easel and carried it outside for him to see. 

“What do you think?” I asked. 

It was a series of different blues that graduated from light to dark as it went up the canvas, representing the shallow water of the ocean through to the deep water meeting the horizon then on to the sky. 

“I know exactly where I’d like to hang it when it’s finished,” he said. “I love it. I feel like I'm getting lost in this section here,” he said pointing to the bit where the ocean and sky meet. 

“Where do you want to put it because I had an idea of where I’d like to put it,” I said. 

“I’d actually really like it in our bedroom. It seems a shame to hide it away but I'd love to be able to lay in bed and lose myself in it. Where did _you_ want to hang it?” he asked. 

“In the bedroom,” I said smiling. “Dinner’s ready whenever you want to eat too.” 

“Hey,” he said pulling me to him, “I don’t want to end up in an argument with you but I need to explain about this morning. I did a really poor job of explaining myself and I just wan...” 

“I quit my job this morning,” I blurted. 

We stood there in silence looking at each other as he processed what I'd just said. 

“You did what?” he asked, with a massive smile on his face. 

“I quit my job,” I said. “I thought about what you said, decided I still wanted to work and went to organise a start date and instead heard myself telling them I was leaving. Permanently. So anyway, here I stand before you officially unemployed. Until next week at least.” 

“How do you feel?” he asked. 

“I think I’m ok to be honest. I’ve had all day to get used to the idea and think a few things through. If the shop idea doesn’t pan out then I can use my savings to set myself up with enough gear to do training for myself. So, in effect people would hire me to train them. Still training, but working for me, not someone else. How do you feel about it?” I asked. 

“If it makes you happy love then do it,” he answered. 

“That’s not an answer,” I said. “Are you going to be ok with it or are we going to be at loggerheads over it like we have been with the gym?” 

“My only concern with any of it, is that you be able to drop everything and come away with me when my schedule allows. Yes, I know it’s very selfish of me but that’s just how it is,” he said. “I’d rather be honest with you. I much prefer the idea of you working for you rather than someone else, but my favourite option would be you not working at all.” 

“Not going to happen,” I said shaking my head. “I’d go insane. I can’t not work. Money aside, I need the stimulation.” 

“Would you consider coming to work for me?” he asked. 

I looked at him then burst out laughing, “You can’t be serious? Doing what?” 

“You could come work as my assistant. They make sure I have one to do whatever I need. You could do it,” he said seemingly encouraged by his own train of thought. “You know everything I like and you know how most things work and...” 

“And no!” I said. “You can’t be serious? I love you more than words can possibly express but you and I living _and_ working together is one of the worst ideas you’ve ever had. We’d never get anything done because we’d always be doing...each other, or we’d kill each other. Let’s just not worry about anything until we find out about the shop.” 

“Sounds like a wonderful idea,” he agreed. 

“Soooo, speaking of the shop,” I said. 

Smile on his face, “What about it?” he asked. 

Son of a bitch had already figured it out! 

“Wellllll, it would seem I may have jumped the gun a little on quitting my job. Apparently, the bank doesn’t like loaning you money when you’re unemployed, can’t understand why. But anyway...any chance you could maybe buy the shop for me? I’ll pay you back, of course,” I said. 

“Of course you’d say that,” he said still with that dopey ass smile on his face. “I'd be more than happy _for us_ to buy the shop, no loan. Well done love, I know how hard that was.” 

“No. No you really don’t,” I laughed. “You have no idea, and it’s a loan.” 

“No loan. Wanna fight it out?” he chuckled, as he started tickling me before pulling me up close for a kiss. “And thank you, you’ve made me very happy.” 

“You don’t fight fair,” I sighed against his mouth. “And it’s a loan.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**SHE QUIT**

She quit her job! I’m still a little stunned to be honest. I couldn’t believe it when she told me last night. I thought for sure we’d be battling for days, possibly weeks over it. I’m not against her working, I want to make that perfectly clear. I’m against her working there. With them. With him. Remember that jealousy streak I mentioned a while ago? Yes, well that jealousy reared its head because of her co-worker, Tim. I know there’s nothing going on, she says there never was but there’s something about the way he is with her that leaves me uncomfortable. A certain familiarity. She says I’m being ridiculous, and I probably am. But I’m so happy she’s not going back. 

Speaking of work, I’m only here for a short while this morning then I have a couple of days off. I guess I should probably confess, I have a secret. I won’t keep it from her for too long. I heard back from the accountant yesterday. He said it looks like a great business and sees no reason not to go ahead with the purchase. I did think about telling her last night but after her news about quitting work and then having her ask if I'd buy the shop for her, as a loan of course, I decided to keep it quiet. Not only that, I knew if I told her about it, we’d end up in an argument about money and I don’t want to argue with her. Her and her bloody loan idea. I just want some peaceful time with her, getting back into work mode has been challenging enough for both of us. 

So, the shop. I’m going to see the solicitor this morning so we can get everything underway. I’m fairly certain I’m just going to do it all and surprise her with it at the end. No matter what I do there’s going to be words over money, if I present it to her as a ‘fait accompli’ she’ll get pissed but at least she’s only going to get pissed the once instead of fighting me every inch of the way. I allow myself to hope that just once, she might not fight me on everything. Just once, she’ll go along with what I'd like. Just once, she could see things my way. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that she stands up for herself and her beliefs and wouldn’t want her to bow down to every decision but when _I know_ what’s best, it’d be nice if she could just let it be. Sounds terribly arrogant of me doesn’t it? 

I had another counselling session yesterday. I’m feeling pretty good about it all, feel like I’m making progress. One of the things I was a bit concerned about was my jealousy over Tim but with her not being near him, I guess I don’t need to worry. I still need to work through a few issues with the jealousy but I feel more in control. Back later, heading off to see the solicitor. 

… 

Well, that went better than expected. Apparently, the people that own the store want the sale done as quickly as possible so they can finalise their divorce settlement. Sad to see another marriage end in divorce, another set of hopes and dreams fallen by the wayside. I can’t help but wonder what goes so wrong that it can’t be fixed. Is it a lot of little things that add up to become big things? What makes you allow things to build up so much, why not just talk it out as it happens? What makes you decide you can’t be with that person anymore? What changes so much that you feel the only way forward is to not be with that person? My own parents' divorce had a profound effect on me and left me feeling quite shattered. In the furthest reaches of my imagination I cannot picture a life where I’m alone, a life without her in it. The thought of not seeing her, being with her, loving her, actually makes me feel physically ill. Speaking of my lovely wife, she’s just sent a text. Excuse me for a moment. 

‘Hey Boo, you ok?’ 

‘I’m good. How’s your morning?’ 

‘Slow. You sure you’re ok? Got this weird feeling you were...upset? Sad?’ 

How’s that for perception? I need to hear her voice. I won’t be too long; I just need to call her. 

“Hey, you ok?” she asked. 

“Just missing you,” I answered. “I was just thinking about divorce and...” 

“What?! Divorce? Us?” 

“No, not us. Never,” I said. 

“Why were you thinking of divorce? And who’s?” she asked. 

“Were you going anywhere this morning?” I questioned. 

“No, but who’s divo...” 

“Stay where you are,” I told her, then ended the call. 

I need to see her, hold her, be with her. 

15 minutes later I burst through the front door and saw her on the yoga mat, head down, ass up. She looked up and smiled as I walked towards her. 

“Hey, are you sure you...” 

Pulling her up off the floor and holding her tight in my arms, I silenced her with a kiss, taking great delight in her body fitting so snuggly against mine, her arms around my neck, hands buried in my hair. 

Pulling back from the kiss, I smiled down at her then rubbed my nose against hers. 

“You wanna tell me what that was all about?” she asked softly, still holding me. 

“I just...” I stopped. “I was thinking about why the lingerie shop was being sold and started thinking about divorce and how the thought of not having you in my life makes me feel physically sick. I needed to hold you.” 

“It took years to get the ring on babe, you don’t get to get rid of me that easily sorry. Have you heard back from the accountant?” she asked. 

I swear I wasn’t going to say anything but I could hear the excitement in her voice and couldn’t keep it to myself. 

“I did,” I answered. 

“And?” her excitement was palpable. 

I hadn’t realised just how much she wanted this. How much do I tell her? 

“Tell me,” she demanded. She looked at me then started giggling as the realisation of what she’d just said hit home. “You say that so much better than I do, but seriously. Tell me!” 

“The accountant says it’s a good proposition so I’ve...” 

She was in my arms, legs wrapped around my waist, little kisses being dropped all over my face from forehead to chin such was the excitement. 

“So, what now?” she asked still wrapped around me. 

“Shall we go sit?” I suggested. “Much as I love you wrapped around me; it’s going to be easier to talk to you if we’re sitting. And slightly less distracting.” 

Taking a seat on the couch, I blew out a breath, unsure if I was ready for the battle of wills that was about to ensue. 

“I heard back from him yesterday. I know I probably should have told you last night but I wanted to just go ahead and do everything so you couldn’t argue every tiny little detail with me. I’ve been to the solicitor this morning and it’s all being taken care of. The price has been negotiated; everything’s been agreed to. We’ve just got the cooling off period to go then it’s yours. I would have told you but I wanted to surprise you with it. I didn’t want to argue with you over money, I just want you to have it. It’s so ridiculous that you can’t, no not can’t, _won’t_ , accept that I want to do this for you. So anyway, there you have it. Hopefully within a couple of weeks, it’ll be yours.” 

She sat quietly for a little while, eyes searching my face, a range of emotions flickering across hers before she finally spoke. 

“This is really important to you isn’t it?” she asked. 

Taking her hand in mine, I raised it to my lips and brushed them against the back of her knuckles and nodded. 

“Then I’m going to say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for doing this for me,” she said. 

“You’re not pissed off?” I asked. 

She put her hand up in a so-so type motion but smiled, “Maybe a little but I can understand why you did it and I can see how important it is to you so I'll let it slide...this time but please, don’t do it again. Don’t get into the habit of making decisions for me because it won’t go well. I know I can be a little...headstrong, at times.” 

“A little! At times? You realise I'm not accepting any payment for it right? It’s a gift. From me to you. We’re clear on that?” I said. 

“We are,” she answered. “I’m not entirely thrilled about it but yes, we’re clear. Like I said, just don’t do it again because I can assure you, I won’t be quite as accepting.” 

I looked at her surprised, “Who are you and what have you done with my wife?” 

“I know, I'm scaring myself with how rational and logical I’m being, but I do need to talk to you about money. In the hopes that it did happen, I’ve been thinking about remodeling and new stock and, well I’d like you to loan me the money to do it. Before you say I can do whatever I want because you’ve got the money, I need you to let me do this my way.” 

Seeing as how she’d just given me the shock of my life and not argued with the purchase, I figure the least I can do is give into her on this. Still seems bloody ridiculous but I know it’s important to her. 

“I’ll agree on one condition,” I said. 

“Careful babe, you’re pushing it in the bargaining stakes after what you’ve done. What condition?” she asked. 

“You delay any repayments for six months so that you can actually start making money before you start trying to pay anything off. And it has to be interest free,” I said. 

She thought about it for a bit then nodded, “Ok but you have to let me do it my way, no questions.” 

Well, I figured that was a given. There’s no way I’m standing in the way of that, I'm not stupid. 

**As with the wedding, I’m ignoring all the rules and laws regarding business purchases and ownership and writing it so it fits the story. Tom’s writing tomorrow’s story as well apparently. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**ON THE RIVER**

I’ve called her sister and organised to have Bobby and Paddy dogsat because I have a surprise weekend planned for her. Hopefully she’s happy about it. We’re not going to be able to go away for a vacation for quite a while. I pretty much finish filming this series, and it’s likely going to be a super quick turnaround for the next one, so we may not even get the chance to head home and see my family. Certainly no time for a honeymoon. Anyway, I’ve organised a couple of days away. Just the two of us, cruising the river on a houseboat. We can pull into all the little coves if we want or we can just stay on the boat. I gave them a list of what I wanted when I booked it and they were more than happy to accommodate my requirements. Haven’t told her yet. She’s still wrapped up in thoughts of lingerie...one can only hope she brings her work home. 

She’s currently on her laptop with what appears to be about 30 browser windows open, looking at paint colours, mirrors, shelving, clothing racks and God knows what else because she wants to completely redo the interior. I think she may be changing the name of the shop too but at this point it’s anyone’s guess. 

“If you’re getting new mirrors, I can think of something to do with one of the old ones, they’re a good size,” I said with a smirk 

“Hmmm?” she said, clearly lost in her own world. “What was that?” 

“The mirrors. If you’re replacing them, I know what we should do with at least one of them,” I answered. 

“Oh, and what would that...” she stopped herself, obviously remembering back to what happened with the mirror in the change room, then laughed. “You’re incorrigible.” 

“You’re no better yourself,” I responded with a chuckle but she was totally focused on the laptop again. 

While she was lost in her own world, I went to the bedroom and packed some clothes and swimwear for both of us for a couple of days then added some toiletries and grabbed her camera and my guitar. Oh, shoes. What on earth will she want? Flip flops? We’ll be on a boat for a couple of days or on the shore, she’s not likely to need stilettoes is she...although come to think of it I remember the last time she wore stilettoes. No, don’t go there, bring your mind back to the task at hand or we won’t get anywhere. We’re not going to be seeing anyone so she won’t need anything fancy. Flip flops should do it. I’m sure she’ll let me know if I don’t get it right. Ok, all done. Just need to get the bags out to the car, get the dogs and her. 

Walking out of the bedroom and down the hallway, I paused and watched her, mouth moving as she talked to herself, jotting notes on the notepad at her side. She looked like a child on Christmas morning, face full of excitement. It seemed a shame to interrupt her, but work could be put on hold for a couple of days. I took the bags out to the car, put the dogs in as well, the only thing I needed now was her. Walking back inside, I stood watching and waiting. 

Sensing me watching her she looked up and smiled, “I’ve been neglecting you, haven’t I? I’m sorry. I’ll stop. Are you going somewhere?” she asked pointing to the keys in my hand. 

“ _We. We’re_ going somewhere,” I told her. “Before you start, let me just say this: No, I won’t tell you where we’re going. Yes, everything is organised. Yes, the dogs too – they're going to your sister. Yes, I understand you don’t like surprises. Now, can we get in the car please? I’d like to get going.” 

That went a lot smoother than expected, she only asked me about 20 times what the hell was going on instead of her usual 50. Must be mellowing; no, I've fallen into thinking along those lines before only to have it turn around and bite me in the bum. 

We dropped the dogs off to her sister, who also refused to tell her anything, just smiled and said have a good time. Bobby and Paddy had tails wagging and seemed perfectly happy to go off and play with their doggy cousin Masher, so we said our goodbyes even though she tried one last time to get her sister to spill about where we were headed. 

“Nat, where’s he taking me?” she asked. 

Nat shrugged, “Don’t know.” 

“Can’t you just tell me? You know I hate surprises,” she said, turning to me. 

“You’ll find out soon,” was all I’d say. 

She sat and sulked for a while, but once I put the music on and started singing and goofing off, refusing to be drawn into her mood, she snapped out of it and started singing along with me. 

I could see her starting to take note of the direction we were headed and she said, “Somewhere near the water?” 

“You might say that,” I replied. “Won’t be long now.” 

She’d actually grown up along this river, but we were going to the bottom end and she’d grown up along the top end, this was before the family had decided to head to the country. 

“Ok, heading the way we are it could be the river, could be the coast,” she said, excitement starting to build. 

“It could be,” I replied smiling. 

She loved the water, loved being near it. She says it feels like she’s ‘coming home’. Her preference is the ocean over the river but no matter which one we visit, she usually comes home a lot more relaxed. I’ve known her to sit for hours just watching the water, at one with all around her. It’s one of the few times you can get her to stay still. Eventually the plan is to live near the water, but it’s something we want to leave for the future. Something to look forward to when the time comes for us to eventually slow down. 

“Figured it out yet?” I asked as I pulled into the carpark. 

“Maybe,” she said, smiling as she reached behind my seat and tousled my hair. 

… 

So, here we are. We’ve been on the boat a couple of hours, and we’re just laying out on the deck sipping on white wine and watching the spectacular sunset. We’ve been laying on the outdoor lounge just enjoying the peace and quiet, occasionally pointing something out to each other on the banks as we drift by. She found a fishing rod and intends to try her luck tomorrow. Growing up on the river, she’s been fishing since she was a kid and would love to get the chance to do more of it but we just never seem to get the time. 

“Babe, I don’t suppose you thought to bring my camera, did you?” she asked. 

“I did actually. I thought you’d want it. It’s in my bag though, not yours. When you’ve got it, I’d like to chat with you about something if that’s ok,” I said. 

Retrieving the camera, she started snapping away capturing the constantly changing colours. “Do you want me to stop or can we talk while I do this?” she asked. 

“You can keep going. I just wanted you to know that I’m seeing a counsellor. Frequently, at the moment,” I told her, unsure what her reaction would be. 

Lowering the camera, she glanced over at me and smiled, “I thought so.” 

Frowning I asked her, “You thought so? Why?” 

“You left your appointment card in your jeans pocket and when I was washing them, I found it,” she answered. 

“Why didn’t you say something?” I questioned. 

Coming to sit beside me, she took my hand, “I figured you’d tell me when you were ready, it’s not a big deal. I’m happy that you’ve taken the steps you feel you needed to. Whatever’s bothering you, you need to deal with it. I can’t fix you; I can only be here for you. And I am. Always. Just like I know you’re always there for me.” 

“I need you to know that I’ve had to deal with some old issues, really old, so that I can move forward. There was a lot of unresolved anger towards...” I stopped as she closed her eyes and shuddered. “Hey,” I said softly, “it’s ok. We’ve moved on. We’ve left it behind. We survived.” 

Opening her eyes, I could see the pain, “Barely. We barely survived.” 

“But we did. We did together. We can do anything, take on anything, overcome anything. As long as we’re together. You know you’re stuck with me forever don’t you?” I said as I kissed the top of her head. 

She nodded and gave a contented sigh, “I wouldn’t have it any other way. I belong with you.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**HERE WE GO AGAIN**

I was starting to wonder whether he was going to take over doing this  altogether and not let me back. The man sure you can talk, and that’s saying something coming from me! Bear with me, I have to go back and play catch up.

Anyway, can you believe it? We bought, sorry, we’re  _ buying  _ the shop. I’m pretty excited, just in case you can’t tell. I’m not exactly thrilled that he went behind my back and did it, but it’s done now and there’s little I can do about it. If he pulls another stunt like this though, you can bet your ass I'll be letting him know I'm pissed. I love him so damn much and even though he frustrates the hell out me, I know how much it meant to him to do this for me. I guess we have to pick our battles; I’ll let him have this round. 

He’s spoiling me this weekend. Again. Or should I say as usual. He really is far too good to me. To be honest, I think this riverboat thing is exactly what we both need. Nothing to do and nothing to worry about for a couple of days. I’ll probably be dying of boredom by the time it’s over but I'll try really hard to enjoy it. I love being near the water. It constantly changes. The way the current drags the water from underneath and changes the patterns of ripples on top, fascinating. I grew up on this river, it’s changed but it hasn’t changed. It has a timeless beauty. Majestic sandstone cliffs give way to gumtree covered hills and onto rolling pasture land. Some of the houses are so remote that everything has to be delivered by boat, groceries, building supplies, even the mail. They call it ‘The Riverboat Postman’ and you can actually go on the boat have a cruise around the river and deliver the mail. It’s quite a lot of fun actually. 

So, he’s seeing a counsellor. I had a feeling he was. He’s been more protective than usual, if that’s possible, and I found the card in his jeans when I was doing the laundry. I’m glad for him, but it’s going to bring up some stuff from the past that I can’t deal with again, and while I'm happy to be here for him, I’ve had my turn and I’m done with it. I hope he can understand that. 

It’s so nice just laying with him out on the deck watching the stars come out. No tv, no internet, just him and me. I noticed he brought his guitar, might get him to play. 

“Did you bring the guitar so you can serenade me?” I asked.

“Darling with my voice I’d hardly say serenade, but I did bring it to play if you want me to,” he replied.

“Oh stop, you can sing. Quite well actually,” I told him. He thinks the only thing he can sing is the Hank type stuff. He’s actually got a pretty good voice, as long as he’s got music. He seems to need the music to stay in tune. I’ve heard him in the shower, let me tell you, it isn’t always good. 

“Well, do you want to go get it?” I asked. “Entertain me babe. We don’t want me getting  bored, do we? We know boredom and I are not friends.”

“Pushy bloody thing tonight, aren’t you?” he laughed. “Ok, I’ll go get it.”

Returning with the guitar, he sat down and started strumming. We sang for a while, sometimes him, sometimes me, sometimes both, then he just messed around playing bits and pieces of a lot different songs. It was beautiful. I don’t know how long he  plkayed for, but when he'd had  enough he put it down and pulled me close to him. We were moored in a place called Jerusalem Bay and laying on the deck you could hear the water gently splashing against the boat, see the moon reflecting off the water, billions of stars were visible as there was no light apart from the moon. You could hear the occasional call of a bird or splash from a fish jumping. It was cool enough to have a light blanket thrown over us as we lay drinking wine, nibbling on cheese and crackers.

“Reminds me of the time we cruised around Magnetic Island,” he said. “Remember you hooked up to that fish that dragged the boat around.”

Laughing I recalled, “Yes, and we weren’t sure whether we should cut the line of just enjoy the tour. We’ve been lucky, haven’t we?”

“In what way love?” he asked pulling me closer and covering me over with the blanket.

“We’ve seen so much, done so much,” I said.

“We have, and yes, we are lucky but some of it has come at a big cost. Look at the amount of time we’ve spent apart, it adds up to years. The lack of privacy, the demands of  work; not just the filming but the press tours,” he reasoned. “People don’t think of that side of it. The nights I lay in a hotel room and the only thing I want is you in my arms but I know that it’s at least 2 months before I can hold you. The isolation I know you feel when I'm preparing for a role and lock myself away, the research...I could go on. So yes, we’re lucky. But at a cost.”

“Do you ever think about giving it all up?” I asked, already knowing what his reaction would be. I can guarantee he’ll say something along the lines of giving it all up if I want him too because I mean more to him than anything. I believe  _ he _ believes what he says. Would he give it all up? I’d love to say yes, however I’ll say possibly, but he’d resent me for it and I'd never ask him to do that anyway. Never. And  _ I’d _ never stop doing what _ I _ love without a huge amount of resentment. 

While he was considering his answer, I had a little laugh, “What’s so funny?” he asked.

“You. Sitting there trying to work out how best to answer my question. Sitting there trying to figure  out how to make me believe you’d give it up in a heartbeat if I asked you to, while really meaning no, you’d never give it up,” I answered him

“I would give it up if you asked me to. You mean...”

‘’...more to you than anything in this world. Yeah, I know. It’s not that I don’t believe you, I do. I believe  _ you  _ believe you’d give it up but we both know you wouldn’t, or if you did, you’d be miserable and resent the hell out of me. I’d never ask you to give it up anyway. It’s part of you, it’s who you are. I guess what I’m really asking is, how long do you think we’ll live like this? Is there a plan for a slower pace?”

“ Of course there’s a plan to slow down,” he snapped. “I have no desires to leave you alone for half a year at a time for years on end because you’re too bloody stubborn to listen to reason and come with me. No, ‘ _ you have _ _ to stay behind and work’ _ even though I'm more than capable of....”

“...and as I’ve told  _ you _ I don’t know how many bloody  times; _ you  _ are _ not _ supporting me. I’m able bodied, able minded and capable...”

He snorted, “Able minded? You have your momen...”

Jumping up off the lounge I threw the blanket off, “Screw you Hiddleston, you asshole.”

I turned to go inside but he jumped up after me, grabbing my arms and pinning them by my side effectively holding me in place, chest heaving, breathing heavy.

Looking down at his hands pinning my arms by my side, I glared at him as I put my head up. 

“Get your hands off me.”

**Image in pic is Jerusalem Bay and is situated on The Hawkesbury River New South Wales Australia.


	47. A Misunderstanding, Tom's Meltdown, The Healing Process

**A MISUNDERSTANDING**

Glaring at down at me as he spoke, still pinning my arms to my side, “You’ll listen.” 

“I’m telling you to take your hands off me. Now,” I said calmly. 

“I’m sorry. Darling, please,” he pleaded. 

“Get. Your hands. Off me. Now,” I demanded. 

Head hanging, shoulders slumped, he removed his hands and took a step back. Walking past him, I went inside and threw myself down on the bed. Looks like this might be one hell of a long weekend. Not even one night and I’m ready to hurl him overboard. Insufferable asshole. Who the hell does he think he is? Nice to know he has confidence in me. No wonder he completed the purchase without telling me, if that’s how he feels. Bastard. 

I was so angry I could feel the tears pricking behind my eye lids. And hurt. I honestly thought he’d taken care of everything to do with the shop because he wanted to surprise me, even though he knows I hate surprises. Turns out he did it because he thinks I’m basically incompetent. I know I come across as being impulsive and a bit of an airhead, but I’m not. Believe it or not, I’ve actually got a really high I.Q. I just wasn’t blessed with a great deal of commonsense or logic, and now it turns out that’s going to be used against me. I just want to go home. 

I heard him come in, felt the bed dip under his weight, felt his hand reach for me. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean for what I said to come out the way it did.” 

“So, you did mean it, it just came out wrong?” I asked. 

“No! That’s not what I said,” he exclaimed. 

“Yes, it is,” I said. 

“Look, I...oh hell. This isn’t going to come out right. Will you come back out and let me explain? Please?” 

“No, I’m quite comfortable where I am thanks. And to be honest, I don’t know that I want to hear what you’ve got to say,” I answered. 

“I probably deserve that,” he said. “Will you listen if try to explain?” 

“Suit yourself but I’m pretty sure you made your thoughts perfectly clear,” I told him. 

“The point I meant to make before I completely made a mess of things is that you’re so damn stubborn you don’t always make choices that are in _our_ best interests. So many months that I've been away, and we’ve been miserable, could have been avoided if you’d just come with me. I know you say you have to work, and I understand that, but all that time we’ve spent apart just seems so pointless when it doesn’t have to be like that. I know exactly where your thoughts went when I made that stupid comment. I’m not questioning your intelligence. It was just a stupid remark that came out entirely wrong. I truly am sorry,” he said. 

“It’s not pointless to me. The time we spend apart. Whilst it’s hard, really hard; it’s not pointless to me. It may only be a menial job to you, and one that doesn’t rate as terribly important seeing as how you think I should just leave to follow you around the world, but that menial job gave me a sense of self-worth. That menial job kept me sane. I don’t belong in your world. I’ve never belonged in your world. I do it for you. If it was up to me, I’d never attend a red-carpet event, gala dinner, or awards ceremony ever again. I do it for you, because it’s what you do. Because I want to support you, but clearly it isn’t a two-way street,” I explained. 

“I’ve never called your job menial. Please don’t put words in my mouth. I admit I don’t understand the mindset of staying behind and making us both miserable when you could be with me but I do understand that your job is, or was, important to you. At times it feels like your job is more important than me. And I know you detest everything involved with my job, and I do appreciate you putting yourself out to be with me, but you did know what it was like from the outset,” he said. 

“And you knew what my job meant to me from the outset and it’s not like I didn’t try to tell you I couldn’t do your world way back then. If you remember I made it very clear your world wasn’t for me,” I fired back. 

Stalemate, we’re getting nowhere fast. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he said. 

“I don’t want you to say anything. I just want to have a shower and go to sleep,” I responded. 

… 

Having had a shower, brushed my teeth and hair, I left the bathroom and returned to an empty bedroom. My heart hurt. It tears me up when we argue because it’s not something we do very often. We have our little spats but it’s usually one or the other of us just voicing a grievance or something trivial and we’re quick to get over it. But this, this hurt. The last one we had was when Diana was here and he was going over the script for the series and having all the costume fittings, before that I don’t remember. This was two arguments in quick succession for us. Suddenly dreading the rest of the weekend, I crawled into bed, hoping sleep would claim me fairly quickly. 

I felt the bed dip as he sat down on the edge of it, not saying a word, just sitting. He sat there for a minute or so then stood, went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Listening to the splash of the water, I could tell when he was under the spray and when he was soaping himself. I could picture him washing himself, paying particular attention to his underarms; the man is paranoid about body odor and really scrubs his pits. I heard the water shut off then it was quiet. I pictured him brushing his teeth, running his hands through his hair, sniffing his underarms to make sure he smelt fresh (weirdo). 

I felt the bed dip as he sat down again, then he flicked the covers and climbed in. Unsure whether to go to him or not, I just lay there and waited to see what he was going to do. 

“This is tearing me up inside,” he said. “I don’t want...” 

He didn’t need to say anymore. I was in his arms. 

“...to fight with you. I don’t know what else I can say other than I’m truly sorry.” 

“I know, but what you said really hurt,” I said. 

I half expected him to want to fool around given where we were and the weekend he obviously had planned, and while I wasn’t really in the mood, I never say no to him so I was a bit surprised when he just held me close and made no move to do anything else. It was nice actually, just being held. Both of us were quiet, not asleep but not talking. His hand ran up and down my lower back in slow strokes, my leg thrown over his, chest resting against his side, head in the crook of his shoulder and hand running lightly over his chest. It just felt nice. The boat was rocking gently from the swell, we weren’t that far from the mouth of the river where it meets the ocean, and it was lulling us both into a deep state of relaxation. It wasn’t too much longer before I felt my eyes starting to close and heard Tom’s gentle snores. Nothing was resolved but at least we weren’t chewing each other's heads off. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**TOM'S MELTDOWN**

You know when you hear the words come out of your mouth and you just know you shouldn’t have said them quite the way you did, should have thought them through a little more? Yes, I do too. Especially now. As soon as I’d said them, I knew what was going to happen: I wasn’t wrong. I can’t say I blame her; it did sound like I was questioning her mental capabilities. I wasn’t, but I can see how she thought I was. And then I did the worst job possible of trying to explain what I'd actually meant. We still haven’t resolved anything but at least she’s willing to let me hold her. I don’t know whether she wanted to fool around or not, I just wanted to hold her. I honestly wasn’t questioning her intelligence. I’ve told you before she’s highly intelligent, she just has no idea when it comes to logic or common sense. Hopefully I can right everything in the morning. I’d try now but I have no desire to inflame the situation all over again, especially with her curled up against me the way she is. The smell of her, the feel of her, the rocking of the boat is lulling me to sleep, I can feel myself drifting off. 

… 

Opening my eyes, I can see I've slept later than usual as the sun is streaming in the windows. Looking over, I found I was alone and, judging by the cool sheets, I’ve been alone for a while. Smile on my face I could picture her sitting out on the deck, feet curled up under her, book resting in her lap, coffee cup in her hand completely lost in whatever novel she was reading. Using the bathroom, I went padding out to join her, stopping to grab a coffee on the way. 

That’s odd, there’s no coffee, not even an empty pot. That’s usually the first thing she does unless she’s doing yoga. That’s probably it, she’ll be doing yoga to prepare for work on Monday. I’ll just pop the coffee on so it’s ready when she’s done. 

Walking out the door onto the deck I went to greet her but didn’t find her where I expected her to be. That’s strange, there’s really not many places she could be, it wasn’t a very big boat. There’s no way I could have missed her inside. There’s nowhere to hide. 

“Darling?” I called out. “I’ve put coffee on, did you want one.” If anything’s going to get her attention, it’s coffee. No answer. 

“Where are you love?” Rounding the corner to check the back of the boat, I noticed the little row boat that’s attached and used as a life boat was gone. The boat was gone, I couldn’t find her. Racing back inside, I did a quick check. She wasn’t there. Her phone was still here. She’s gone and left the phone to make sure I couldn’t contact her. Nothing seemed to missing...except her. Let’s just jump to conclusions, shall we? Didn’t take a genius to figure it out. She was gone. My legs gave out and I had to sit before I fell. She was gone! Let’s just have a completely irrational reaction. I started to shake, felt like I was going to vomit. She was gone. I should have fixed things before we went to sleep. Cursing myself for every kind of fool I was, I didn’t know what to do. All I could think was, ‘She’s gone. She’s not here. She’s gone.’ 

Running back over everything that happened last night, looking for any tiny little clue as to what she was thinking. There’s nothing for miles around us, nothing but water, water and a lot more water, so it’s not like she could have just gone to the shop or something. What if she’s drowned? No, that’s just being ridiculous. Right and jumping to conclusions isn’t? She’s just – gone. Did I miss anything that indicated she was going to go? I couldn’t think. What was I missing? Obviously something; she was gone. She’d lay curled up next to me, stroking my chest, head on my shoulder, leg on my hip. Had she already known she was going then? Why didn’t she talk to me about it? I’m going to be sick. Staggering to the bathroom I felt my stomach turn, ridding itself of what little content there was. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I rinsed with water then cleaned my teeth. Going out to the kitchen, I turned the coffee off, unable to stomach the thought of anything. I feel like I'm going to be sick again. Getting ready to run for the bathroom again I heard, “Babe? Are you ok?” Turning I saw her standing there, dripping water everywhere. 

Taking 3 large steps to reach her, I pulled her against me so tight that she actually started complaining. 

“Babe, I can’t breathe. What’s wrong?” she asked. 

Burying my face in her hair, I let the tears stream down my face. She let me hold her for a minute, obviously aware of my distress. 

Pushing back gently, she held my face in her hands, “What’s going on? Are you unwell? Sea sickness? Tom, what’s wrong? Why do you have tears? Talk to me,” she said. 

“I thought you’d gone. Thought you’d left me because of what I said last night,” words tumbling out faster and faster, breathing becoming rapid. “I came to get coffee and there was none, then I went to look for you thinking you’d be doing yoga but you weren’t there and then I looked for you and I couldn’t find you and I didn’t know what to do and I saw the boat was gone an...” I couldn’t breathe properly, my heart was going to come out of my chest it was beating so hard and so fast, I was shaking, I felt like I was going to die. Was this a heart attack? What the hell is wrong with me? Can’t get enough air. 

“Tom!” she commanded, grabbing my hands. “Tom, look at me. Look at my eyes. Now. My eyes, look at me. 5 things you can see, quickly tell me 5 things you can see,” she said. 

Things I could see? I can’t breathe how the hell am I supposed to see. I’m dying. See? See what? I could see her, does that count, can’t think, can’t breathe... 

“Tom, 5 things you can see,” she said. 

“Um, you, table, um, um, light, seat, um, power socket,” I said, mouth open trying to suck air in. 

“Look at me,” she instructed, calm, gentle voice. “Stay focused on me. Now, tell me 4 things you can touch,” 

Touch, touch, heart racing, can’t get air, breathe in, breathe out, touch, touch...her. “You, I can touch you,” I said reaching out to touch her, she was real, she was here. “Bench, wall, ceiling. I can touch you.” I told her. 

“Eyes on me, you’re doing great. Now tell me 3 things you can hear,” she smiled at me. 

Doing ok, she’s here, she’s in front of me, not gone. Right, what did she want? 3 things I could hear, “You, I can hear you. Water and birds,” I said. 

I can breathe, heart slowing down. 

“Keep looking at me. Focus babe. Now 2 things you can smell,” she said giving my hand a squeeze. 

“I can smell your hair and the water on your skin,” I told her. 

Big smile on her face, she said, “And tell me one thing you can taste, you’re doing awesome by the way.” 

Pulling her to me, I kissed her. “You, I can taste you. I got so scared when I couldn’t find you. I thought you’d left me.” 

She wrapped her arms around me and nestled her cheek against my chest. “You goofball. First of all, I’m never leaving you, you’re stuck with me. Forever. Secondly, well there is no secondly because I'm never leaving, but I'd tell you anyway. I wanted to go into the cove for a swim and took the boat so I could row and get some exercise. I didn’t want to wake you and figured you’d work out where I was.” She stayed there just holding me, not saying anything, not doing anything, just holding me until I was ready. It must have been at least a couple of minutes before I could bear the thought of letting her move. 

“What was that? Was that anxiety? I felt like I was dying, couldn’t breathe,” I asked. 

She nodded, “Anxiety attack, yes. They suck ass. But you did awesome. You’re ok now, I’m here and I'm not going anywhere. Well, not quite true, I'm going over there,” she pointed to the coffee pot, “and I'm making coffee.” 

I don’t think I've ever been so scared in my life as I was when I thought she was gone. I don’t want to let her go. I’ve still got the shakes. 

“Babe,” she said trying to move her 5’5” frame with my 6’2” frame wrapped around her. “I’m not going anywhere; I just want to put the coffee on ok?” 

“I’m sorry, I just need to hold you,” I told her. 

“I’m just going to get coffee then we’ll got sit outside ok?” she said. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” 

Turning her so she had her back to me, my arms around her waist, I asked, “Can you make coffee like this?” 

I don’t know whether she sensed my desperation or what but she managed to make the coffee without me letting go once. I couldn’t. I had to feel her against me, needed to feel her. Waiting for the coffee to brew she leaned back against me, not saying anything, but just letting me know she was there. 

Once the coffee was ready, she asked, “Did you want some?” 

“Should I? I don’t know if it’s going to be good or bad for me,” I replied. 

“It helps me, but you know how I feel about my coffee,” she chuckled. “I’ll pour it and if you want it it’s there. Let’s go sit outside.” 

How she managed to get outside with me hanging off her and carrying 2 coffees I don’t know, but she did. Putting the coffees on the table she turned to me, “You ok?” 

“I will be, I just need to be with you for a bit,” I answered. 

Still in her wet bikini, she sat on the lounge and pulled me down with her, my head in her lap, my legs hanging over the end. The exposed skin on her stomach was cool to touch and the wet material of her bikini bottoms was soothing against my hot skin so I rolled slightly brushing my cheek against it. She looked down as I looked up, our eyes met, her head came down as I lifted mine up. She was here, she wasn’t going anywhere. 

The adult one picks up from here. It’s written from Tom’s point of view and he’s still dealing with what’s just happened here so keep that in mind. 

Chapter 31: Tom's Meltdown (Explicit) is available in Virtual Adventures of the Adult Kind

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**THE HEALING PROCESS**

“Going to be hard to return to  civilisation ,” Tom said as we sat on deck drinking coffee. “I had the best sleep last night.”

“You needed it,” I told him. “I think emotionally, you were pretty wiped out.”

“Possibly. I feel much better now. Almost like I’ve exorcised a lot of my demons. I’m just sorry it had to happen this weekend when I’d planned for it to be a relaxing getaway for us.”

“No regrets babe. This is the best place to be to heal. As you’re always saying to me, ‘get out of your head’. Let the water work  its magic. Just sit and ‘be’, let the healing begin,” I encouraged.

“I know you grew up around this, but how much time did you spend at the river when you were older?” Tom asked me.

“In my late teens, a lot. It was my safe place. Somewhere I could come and not have to think, not have to do, just be at one with everything around me without fear,” I answered. “But let’s not talk about that now. I dealt with it a long time ago. This is about getting you where you need to be.”

“Maybe we should buy a houseboat instead of a house for when we slow down love. We could just meander up and down the river with an ever-changing view. If we get sick of one  place, we just pull anchor and move on to the next spot. How long do you think it would take to explore the river?” he asked.

“More than a lifetime,” I answered. “What you’re seeing now is just a tiny part of the main river, which in itself is over 450  kilometres long, (almost 300 miles) then there’s all the little creeks and rivers that run off it. It doubles back on itself time and again.”

“You’re really  connected, aren’t you?” he asked.

“Very much. It’s part of me here,” I told him pointing to my heart and sternum. “It’s home. It’s part of who I am, part of who my people are. Do you not have that connection to home?”

“Not in the same way you do,” he answered. “I love the UK, love London, the changing seasons, the smells, the sounds, the bustle and buzz, but there’s not a connection to the land as such.”

“Don’t you feel a pull when you’re away for too long?” I asked.

“How do you mean ‘a pull?” he questioned.

“If you felt it, you’d know what I meant. When I’m away from here for too long, I feel the land pull me back, the water too, it’s like it calls to me and I need to come back. It’s not homesickness, it’s different. It’s something I feel inside, a need to reconnect. I’m not doing a very good job of explaining it. You don’t feel that with England?”

“I guess not. It’s different for me I suppose, I was at boarding school from an early age. There wasn’t really anything to connect to. As I said, I love my home but I don’t feel a pull, a need to return,” he answered.

We fell into a comfortable silence, both caught up in our own thoughts as we drifted slowly along the river. I was sitting between his legs, leaning with my back against his chest, his arms slung lazily across my shoulders, hands resting on my stomach. “What’s that?” he asked pointing to a spot in a very wide part of the river.

“What’s what?” I asked.

“Over there,” he said holding his finger up so I could follow the direction he was pointing. “Did you not see the splash?”

Watching in the direction he was pointing, I saw the splash and smiled, “Dolphins.”

“Dolphins? In the river?” he asked. 

“Absolutely. We’re not far from the ocean here babe. There’s been pods of dolphins coming in for years now. They chase the bait fish in. Go get my camera if you want, look through the big lens,” I told him. “Here, I’ll get it. You keep your eyes on where they go.”

Running inside and grabbing the camera, I returned to find him standing at the rail, squinting as he watched on. Handing him the camera I stood back and smiled at the excited look on his face. Focusing the lens, his smile broadened as he watched on.

“Take some photos babe,” I said. 

“No, I’ll let you do that. I’ll probably bugger it up somehow,” he said, going to hand the camera to me.

“You’re not going to bugger it up. Put it on auto focus then all you have to do is point and shoot,” I told him. “Here, hold still.” I flicked the little lever changing it over to auto focus for him and instantly I could hear the whir of the lens focusing when he pushed down on the button. 

He spent the next 5 minutes taking photos, smiling and giving me a running commentary on what the dolphins were doing. I got such a buzz seeing him so excited but also, so relaxed. 

Putting the camera down, he turned to me, “I’m sorry, I should have given it to you so you could watch them too.”

“I’m fine, honestly. Watching you watching them was a buzz for me,” I told him.

“I’ve been trying to put this off for as long as possible love but, unfortunately the time’s come for us to head back,” he said looking genuinely sad.

“I figured it was getting to be about that time. It’s ok, I’ve had a fantastic time, thank you so much.”

“Even with all that happened?” he asked.

“Yes, it was huge step forward,” I answered.

Making our way back up river we took some more photos of the sandstone cliffs and the more unusual sights, such as large gumtrees growing out of crevices in the rocks and cliffs. Grabbing his phone, we took some selfies and photos of us together. Arriving back at the dock late in the afternoon, we moored the boat, then gathered our bags and headed for the car.

“I feel like I’ve still got my sea legs on,” Tom laughed as we neared the car. “I feel all wobbly.”

“I feel like I'm bouncing not walking,” I chuckled. “The ground feels so hard.”

Tom looked over to me and shook his head, snickering quietly to himself.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“You. The ground feels hard. Darling, the ground  _ is _ hard,” he answered.

Laughing at how ridiculous it sounded, I said, “I meant it feels hard compared to the water. Well not the water exactly but the boat on the water, although the boat was hard...I’m just going to shut up now. You know what I meant.”

Loading the bags, camera and guitar into the car, we put some music on and realised it was a little later than we thought and that it was going to be dark by the time we got home. It was decided that if it was ok with my sister, I’d pick Bobby and Paddy up tomorrow after I'd finished at the studio. Giving her a quick call, she said it was fine and that they were still having a great time with her dog Masher. 

…

It felt good to be home. It’s been a hell of a weekend but I feel like we really moved forward. Tom was able to control a side of his personality he’s struggled with and I’ve  realised I need to consider his mental state a little more and maybe try not to be quite so fiery. I’m not saying it’s going to be  easy; life never is really is it? People see what they want to see from the outside but regardless of your station in life, at the end of the day, we’re all human beings and we all go through the same struggles. It’s not for us to judge how one person copes with a certain situation as compared to another. No two people are the same therefore the same situation will be handled in many different ways by many different people. Is there a right way or wrong way? I suppose it really depends doesn’t it? There are so many varying factors to consider. 

Did Tom handle the situation badly when he thought I’d left him? I don’t know, it’s not for me to say. Would I have reacted the way he did? No, probably not but that doesn’t make his reaction wrong. Should I have been more considerate when I went for the swim? In hindsight, yes, absolutely, but I didn’t know he’d react that way. You may see what happened as an overreaction, but there are things you, dear reader, don’t know about involving Tom’s upbringing and certain aspects of our relationship we choose not to share. Things that have a huge impact on the way both of us cope emotionally and psychologically. I guess what I’m trying to say is this: we’re human, we have faults, we’re always going to have ups and downs but those things are not for you, or anyone else to judge us on. You can be very sure of this though, our love for each other is genuine, deep, and everlasting. That’s the one thing we both know...the rest of it? Well, we’re working on it. We’re both ‘a little bit broken’ but we hold each other together with little slips here and there.

“Who are you talking to love?”

“The readers babe, just giving them a little more ‘Missy wisdom’ to help them understand us a little more.”

“Tell them I said hello then say goodbye. I need you with me tonight. The rest of the world can wait until tomorrow.”


	48. Tom and Missy Have Their Say

**Where you see dialogue inside brackets like (this) it means Tom and Missy are talking to each other. Please note: I'm posting trigger warnings with this, there is no sex at all in this story however there are references to self-harm, asphyxiation, domestic violence, multiple personality disorder. If you are going to be, or are likely to be, affected by any of this, please do not proceed. I make no apologies for this chapter. It is what it is. They wanted this story told to "get rid of the yukkies" is how Missy put it to me.**

**Tom:** “We’re not exactly sure whether this will work or not, but we’re going to give it a try. Both of us are going to be talking today instead of one of us speaking for both.” 

_“It might get a bit confusing, but hopefully we can try and keep it sorted. We think the best way to go about it is to give you Tom’s voice in normal text and mine in italics so we can be clear on who’s speaking.”_

**Tom** **:** (“So are we ready to give this a try love?”) 

_“(About as ready as we can be, I think.” )_

**Tom:** “Right, so the first thing I want to talk about is our writer. She’s just that, the writer. This is not her story. It’s ours. We’re grateful that she allows our story to be told because at any point she can close the laptop and end it. It’s our story, our voices. She’s not the storyteller, we are. She has her own stories to tell completely separate to this but graciously allows us to use her to get our story out there.” 

_“She gets as frustrated with us as you do. We’ve not treated her kindly at times and she’s had the psychological and emotional fall out to deal with just the same as we have. I just want to back up what Tom said and say this is our story, she simply tells it for us. We are what she terms, ‘The muses,’”_

**Tom:** I’d like to talk about what happened on the boat, the jumping to conclusions, the anxiety attack and why I reacted, or overreacted, the way I did. 

_(You didn’t overreact. You did what was right for you at the time. )_

**Tom:** (Yes, but not everyone sees it like that so I just want to explain a few things.) As you’ve noticed, I suffer from insecurities. This stems back to my childhood. I debated whether to talk about it or not but I think, to clear up certain misunderstandings, that I’m left with no choice. I started boarding school at a very young age, taken away from my home and a loving environment and placed into an environment that was quite austere. I felt a pressure to succeed from a very early age. My father is a self-made man and worked extremely hard to gain an education, he then put that education to good use in his career. He’s not a man from a privileged background. My parents sacrificed a bit to see that I received the education I did. I count myself lucky that I was blessed with intelligence and was able to put that education to good use, however the need to succeed has been with me since the early days. There was always the fear I would fail, let my family down, let me down. There was always the fear that my brain would let me down, fail me and I started to become insecure. A trait I carry with me to this day. 

_A trait that I haven’t helped with. I knew from the very start Tom was insecure but because of my own issues, I couldn’t give him what he needed; security, commitment, among other things. We made a big mistake – no – that's not right, I made a big mistake and refused to talk about it. I shut down, withdrew, and Tom didn’t know how to deal with it, so he carried all the hurt of my rejection inside not knowing why I’d rejected him. He didn’t do this just once, he did it many times over the years, and not just with proposals. I’ve tried... to... destroy us on more than..._

**Tom** **:** (“Shhh, come here love. It’s alright, I’ve got you. Don’t cry, we made it.”) 

(“ _I know but it just hurts to think what I did and what you put up with.”)_

**Tom:** (“Shhh, we made it through. Together we got there. Are you right to go on?”) 

(“ _Yeah, I think so. I’ll be fine. Thanks babe.) Anyway, as I was saying, I’ve tried to destroy us on more than one occasion but Tom has always picked up the pieces and put them back together again only to be pushed away for his efforts. The point to this is that he always did this without answers, without reason. A person can only take so much before they become affected by what they live. Because I was so flighty, so unwilling to be pinned down, Tom had nothing concrete to hang onto so hung on so tight to whatever small crumb I’d give, that he started to suffocate both of us, in turn I rebelled making him more insecure. So, as you can see, we ended up in a viscous circle.”_

**Tom:** “I want to make it perfectly clear that I lay no blame on anyone but myself. I could have sought counselling earlier, could have insisted on it for both of us but I didn’t. It was around this time that my career exploded, I was easily recognisable and would get approached whenever I went out, it didn’t go so well at times and I became very aware of the masses and their reactions and began to develop some social anxieties...what if the security guards couldn’t hold the crowds at bay? What if people were crushed in their bid to get to see me? Irrational thoughts, but they didn’t seem that way at the time. 

_You really have no idea how terrifying it is to see the faces of some of the more crazed fans. They would do anything to get to Tom. I’ve lost count of the amount of death threats I’ve received simply because I’m in a relationship with him. Add that to the worries when you’re out and about and it pretty soon starts to take its toll on you mentally and emotionally. This was all playing on Tom’s mind every time we went out together. Then there was me staying here for months on end without him while he went overseas for work or press junkets. (I’m going to burst your bubble here for a minute babe, sorry.)”_

**Tom:** (“How so love?”) 

_(“Tim.”)_

**Tom:** (“You knew?”) 

(“ _I did, or do, I should say. There was never anything there. He truly is just a great friend. From the time I met you there’s never been anyone, and you know why there wasn’t anyone for a long time before you.”)_

**Tom:** (“He would’ve liked there to be more. He was always overly familiar with you. I know you don’t see it, but I’m on the outside looking in and I saw it.”) 

_(“I think you’re wrong but I don’t want to argue with you over it.) Anyway, back to what I was saying. I knew Tom had issues with my work colleague Tim, knew he was jealous but I knew he had nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, so I pretty much ignored his wishes and remained here while he was off, God knows where, overseas for months on end. (In hindsight, I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d been unfaithful. I was a selfish bitch; I’m only just now beginning to see just how selfish. I’m so sorry babe, I've been a horrible girlfriend.”)_

**Tom:** (“You have not been a horrible girlfriend. Stubborn, impetuous, illogical, challenging...I’m joking! Sort of. See, even you’re laughing. Anyway, you are many things my love, but never horrible. I have struggled with you not being with me, but we’ve been over that before so I won’t rehash that now.) I suppose now is as good a time as any to talk about Loki. As you know reader, Loki is the God of mischief and chaos. Loki has become a part of me and I love him.” 

“ _And I do too. Well, I love the mischievous Loki, not the cruel and sadistic asshole he mutated into. I hate what that one does to you because he messes you up in the head for days afterwards. The fun one was a little shit and left marks everywhere but he was just a deviate, not a sadist.”_

**Tom** : (“I’m so sorry I let him do those things to you. No, I take that back. I’m sorry I did those things to you, using him to justify it.”) 

(“ _I understand why, God knows I’m the last person that can_ _criticise_ _, but I hated him. I hated what he did to you, I hated what he did to me. I know you were there but you weren’t in control, not completely. I’m not condoning what you did - or allowed him to do - I’m saying I understand why you couldn’t express that darker side of your personality and had to use him as an outlet. I don’t like it, but I understand.”)_

**Tom:** Loki came out to play in the early stages of our relationship because of my upbringing. I know we’ve touched on this before but I allowed myself to use him to be a sadist. I allowed myself to take it beyond the realms of normal degenerate behaviour... and used...and used him to hurt...to..” 

(“ _It’s ok, just breathe. I’m here. I’d say stop but I think you really need to get this out. I think you really need to clear your mind and hear yourself say the words. I’m here, I've got you. Remember, we can do anything together. I’d offer to talk about him but you’re still healing, I honestly think this will help. I love you, you’re strong, you’ve got this. Take your time.”)_

**Tom** : _“_ I used him to inflict pain that I, myself, couldn’t, or wouldn’t. I wanted to hurt this lovely woman sitting beside me as much as she was hurting me and, because I hadn’t dealt with any of the hurt through counselling, I became cruel, vindictive and sadistic. When I think of the things I did, I just... 

_(“Take your time babe, it’s ok.”)_

**Tom:** _“_ There are no excuses, I was pathetically overwhelmed by the intensity of the hate I felt. I’ve said it before, the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. (I’ve never been indifferent to you love but I can admit, I did hate you. I’ve never stopped loving you, never not loved you, but I hated you for what you did, never explaining, never giving me a chance. There, I've said it: I hated you. I’m so sorry. So sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”) 

(“ _There’s absolutely nothing to forgive. I don’t blame you for hating me. I think, if I were to be completely honest, I knew you did. I know you’ve never stopped loving me but yes, I think when you were hurting me, you hated me. I’m quite sure there are times you could have happily killed me, in a literal sense. I don’t hold it against you. There are times I've been a really horrible person.”)_

**Tom:** “I will admit that when I let myself be Loki, I wasn’t always in control, and there are times when things went further than they should have. Looking at it in real terms, it’s domestic violence and...” 

“ _Let me just jump in here. Yes, it probably would be classed as domestic violence but you weren’t completely in control and you were a victim as much as a perpetrator. Still no excuses, just putting it out there that we’re both aware.”_

**Tom:** “...and I’m ashamed of it but that’s not for you, the reader, to judge. I can’t promise he’ll never show up again, I can’t promise I’m never going to hurt her again but, I’m hopeful I can stay in control. I had a minor victory this weekend and I’m hoping to build on it. I still want deviate Loki to come and play, but not the other one. (Which leads on to you love. You and your Dark Angel.”) 

(“ _I’m not sure I can.”)_

**Tom** : (“Do you want me to do it?”) 

(“ _I’ll try but you might have to take over. Hold my hand? I need you to hold me and don’t let go. Promise me you won’t let go.”)_

**Tom:** (“I’m not going to let you go. I can do it if it you want; you’ve already dealt with it all before so it’s not going to serve any purpose if you get panicky ok?”) 

(“ _I’ll try, just don’t let go ok? Wow, where to start.”)_

**Tom:** _(“_ Let me do the lead up and you can talk about her ok?”) 

(“ _Yeah, that might work. Thank you.”)_

**Tom: (“** I love you, don’t forget that ok. This is all past. It doesn’t control us anymore ok. We’re just doing this so people can understand why we are the way we are, and to stop thinking it’s the writer that puts us through shit when it’s really us.) Ok, here goes. I’m not going to go into every detail, I don’t need to, or want to because I want to protect my lovely wife as much as I can, she doesn’t need to relive this. Before I met her, when she was in her late teens, she was in a – shall we say, toxic – relationship with someone quite a bit older, someone who should have known better. It involved psychological, physical and emotional abuse the likes of which have left permanent scars, deep permanent scars. Part of the long-lasting effects are her need for pain, not often anymore thank God. As sick as that sounds to you, and you really have no right to judge, it’s not your life to live, she craves the pain, needs to exorcise certain demons that lurk. In order to cope with the abuse, she developed another personality...became someone else. Not just like I did with Loki, but actually became another person. Multiple personality disorder. Because of the abuse she endured the Dark Angel was born, and she’s a very sick, twisted, sadistic, degenerate personality. (Do you want to take over or should I keep going?”) 

_“(I’ll try, just don’t let go.) The Dark Angel terrifies me. She’s tried to kill me on a number of occasions, not through suicide, although she has given that a go as well, but through erotic asphyxiation, she likes to be choked to the point of passing out during sex. She likes to mutilate my body, she likes pain – no not likes – needs, she needs pain, thrives on it. She likes to inflict it as much as she likes to receive it. She has no boundaries, none. Nothing is too sick, too perverted for her. She loves to shock people, she’s addicted to sex, among other things and she’s an ugly person, black inside and she terrifies me. Truly terrifies me. I have no knowledge of what she does when she takes over and often woke to find myself bruised, battered, covered in cuts and blood with ligature marks on my neck, wrists and ankles. Used to...not now...not anymore. I take my medication every day to keep her away and I avoid really traumatic experiences. I know of her and what she’s done through what I’ve been told and hypnotism but I’m not going into that any further. Loki, the sadistic one, calls to her sometimes and came close to getting her a couple of times but I've been getting stronger. (How did I do babe? Can I stop now? Please?”)_

**Tom** _: (“_ Of course, you can stop. Are you feeling ok? Come here, give me a kiss. Mmm, that’s better. You did fantastic my love. Are you sure you’re ok? ) Right, I’m going to take over now. I’m not having her subjected to any more trauma. The Dark Angel looks and sounds different. There are quite distinctive physical differences in them. Her voice changes, becomes deeper and takes on a scratchy timbre. Her hair tends to get a kink in it, not quite a curl but definitely not straight like it usually is. She holds herself differently, moves differently. And the eyes. Her eyes are painful to look at. They are absolute and pure chaos. Confusion would be something you could work with but no, there’s nothing there just chaos and my sadistic Loki loves her. They’ve met a couple of times, one with almost very disastrous consequences, I honestly thought we’d killed her that night. That took quite a few days to recover from. Anyway, enough about her. She’s gone, under control. The only reason I’ve brought her up is so that you understand a little about why this lovely woman is the way she is. She’s a victim of circumstance and if I need to be rough with her every now and again to save her from herself, you can bet your ass I’m going to do it for her...even if I do hate myself for it for days afterwards. Anyway, we’re leaving the Angel where she belongs. Buried. Deep down.” 

_“I can’t tell you how thankful I am to have Tom in my life. He’s never given up on me, even when he was in so much pain himself, he never gave up. If you look back on some of the characters he played, look in his eyes, you’ll see evidence of the pain he’s endured. Some call it brilliant acting – and he is – but the brilliant acting is in not letting the pain show_ _through; not_ _in the showing. I love him with every_ _fibre_ _of my being. Without him I am nothing, without him I cease to be. I know that’s not what my psychologist wants to hear me say but it’s the truth. If anything happened, I know I wouldn’t cope and to be honest, given the choice between not being here anymore or having the Dark Angel take over, I know which one I’m opting for. Don’t judge me too harshly, you haven’t lived my life. Don’t blame the writer, she’s telling my story, she’s telling Tom’s story, she’s telling our story. She’s trying to soften it as much as possible but, as we said earlier, it’s not her story to tell, it’s ours._

**Tom** _: “_ Do I worry hearing my wife talk like that? Of course I do. Do I feel the same way? Yes. We are one. We don’t, can’t and won’t function without each other. I love her unconditionally. I want her. I need her. She is the other half of me. She’ll continue to drive me to distraction, frustrate me, piss me off, challenge me and argue with me every chance she gets, it’s how we work. If you try to hurt her, judge her or bully her, I will step in. I will do whatever I need to do to protect her, and if that means taking her voice away from the writer...then that’s what I’ll do. Don’t judge us, you don’t know us. You know what we choose to tell you and let me tell you, we haven’t even scratched the surface. But as we’ve said, this is our story and we choose to keep the bulk of our story to ourselves. We’re about to enter a new phase of our lives, and we’re both rather excited at the prospect of being business owners. (I know I’m hoping you bring your work home with you love, can’t wait to see some of the new stock.) 

_(“God you are such a typical male. Keep it in your pants Hiddleston.) As he said, we’re pretty excited about having the shop and I can’t wait to start the renovations and order all new stock. I’ll be sure to tell the writer to keep you up to date. Anyway, we just wanted to give you a little more background about us and hopefully answer some questions you may have had regarding certain personality traits and kinks we have. So, until we talk again, I’ll bid you farewell. (Babe, did you want to say anything else?”)_

**Tom** _: “_ Not really, other than to say be kind. Oh, and if any of you have any brilliant ideas on a name for a lingerie store, we’d love to hear it. We’re kind of stumped. You can leave them in the comments section in the group where the link for this story is.”


	49. Missy's Mission, Lots of Laughter, Hurry Up Hiddleston

**MISSY'S MISSION**

Tom left for work before I did, he had a few things to take care of before I got there. I’m not sure exactly what I’m doing, or with whom, so I hope they’re not expecting miracles first thing. Once I have a better idea of who I’m working with and what outcome we’re striving for, it’ll be easier. My plan is to start each session with some yoga so we can gently work the muscles before going into a full work out. I’m assuming a lot of what we’ll be doing is core strength and stamina work. I’m out of condition myself at the moment so I hope they don’t hold that against me. 

Arriving at the gate, I was given my passes and permits and waved through. Heading up to the car park I parked, grabbed a few bit and pieces out of the car, locked up and went in search of Tom. I was greeted by a few people who pointed in the general direction of Tom’s trailer. I figured I’d make that my first stop. If he wasn’t there, I wanted to leave him a note; nothing too emotional, just that I was thinking of him and to get him to call the solicitor and hurry things along. Now that I knew the shop was ours, other than the cooling off period, I just wanted everything to be official so I could go talk to Savannah about it all. 

“Babe, you there?” I called as I approached Tom’s trailer. 

“In here,” he answered. “You all set?” 

“Not really. I have no idea who I'm working with or what I'm meant to be doing. No one really told me anything. I’m assuming I’ll be told at some stage,” I shrugged. 

“Core and flexibility mostly, and you’ll be responsible for keeping muscles warm between takes so no one pulls or tears anything going in cold. All your favourite things,” he told me. 

“I’m so unfit though,” I said. “It’s going to take a while for me to be back to peak condition. I hope no one’s expecting miracles.” 

“Everyone understands you’ve only just started getting back into it, although your attitude didn’t take a break, neither did your mouth,” he laughed. “And before you start in on me, what I meant by that, is your attitude will let everyone know you’re serious and you really only need to instruct people darling, not show them. If you want to do it as well obviously there’s no problem with that, but you don’t have to. Everyone understands the fatigue factor. It’s ok.” 

Standing looking at him through narrowed eyes for a minute, he gave me one of his most charming smiles and said, “Is something wrong?” 

“Not at all, but I just want _you_ to know that _I_ know what you’ve done,” I replied. 

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” he said giving me the ‘I’ve done nothing wrong’ look that he’s perfected. 

“I wasn’t born yesterday and usually I’d be pissed but you know what? I’m actually thankful,” I told him. 

“For what?” he asked. 

“You know damned well what,” I said trying for a ‘don’t mess with me’ look and failing miserably. Instead I walked up to him, kissed him on the cheek and said, “I’m not needed here at all, I know that. You originally wanted me here so I wasn’t back at the gym full time and when I quit the gym you knew I had this to fall back on. You’re a devious man at times, but I love you for it. And thank you for thinking of me.” 

“I’m not going to deny that was my intention originally but, and I’m being serious, it really would be beneficial if we had you here; if not you then someone else. You’ve seen the stunt work; you know what’s involved. It’s important we’re warmed up properly because we don’t want to overwork and become fatigued but we don’t want to be underworked and risk injury. You know just the right level of intensity to cover both,” he told me. “If you don’t want to do it, I understand. I wasn’t trying to undermine you love, I just wanted to make sure you were going to be ok and not overdoing it which, let’s face it, is exactly what you would have done. Please don’t be cross with me.” 

“I’m not. In fact, I think it's kind of sweet. I’d like to stay as long I’m really needed. I don’t want to be here simply because you’ve pulled the ‘I’m Tom Hiddleston give me what I want’ card. It could be fun and it’ll give me a chance to slowly get back into training. Also, could you call the solicitor at some stage today and see if we can hurry things along. I know it may not be possible but no harm in trying right?” I said. 

There were only a few steps separating us in the trailer and he covered them in no time, big smile on his face. “I love seeing you so excited,” he told me. “I’ll call him before lunch and see what we can do about pushing hard to get it happening for you. You ready? I’ll take you up so you can meet everyone.” 

“Almost ready,” I said. 

“Almost? What else do you have to do?” he asked. 

“I don’t _have_ to do anything,” I answered. “I need you to hold me for a minute. I just need to be here, with you and have this,” I said as he wrapped his arms around me. 

“Everything ok?” he asked. 

“It is now,” I said. 

… 

After I’d met everyone and we had a run through on what was expected of me being there, I had a chance to ask a few questions and put forward a few ideas. We sorted out what we were all hoping to achieve and how we were best going to go about it. I could see how I would be of use to them so I didn’t feel like I was there just because I was Tom’s wife, which was nice. 

Afterwards, I drove to my sister's place to get Bobby and Paddy who were full of beans when they saw me. They’ll be excited to see Tom tonight. They’re funny buggers, running around and wiggling their bodies doing that weird thing dogs do where they almost bend themselves in half, tails wagging. Getting them into the car was easy, I think they were ready to go home. Once home, I let them out and they ran around the backyard sniffing everything in sight before lying down at my feet while I sat going through paint colours for the shop and willing my phone to ring with some kind of news from Tom. 

Just after lunch he finally called, “Hey babe, how’s it going? Any news for me?” 

“Going good here, actually got quite a bit done this morning. I called the solicitor but there’s nothing to tell yet. He said even pushing hard it’s still going to take a couple of days because there has to be a cooling off period however, he did say because you’re so desperate to get things happening he’ll talk to the current owners and see if they have any objection to you starting the renovations. In effect it’s yours, it’s just not official yet but he doesn’t think there’ll be any objection to things progressing. I’ll know a bit more this afternoon after he speaks to them. So, you can start picking all your colours and furnishings,” he told me. 

I gave a little squeal much to Tom’s delight, "Thanks babe, I really appreciate it. I can’t wait to see Savannah. Do you think I could go see her today, or should I wait?” 

“I’ll leave that up to you my love but if you want to wait for me, maybe we could tell her together then, because I don’t want to traumatise the poor girl if she’s going to work for you, we’ll wait until she goes home and...” he purposely trailed off. 

Knowing exactly what he was going on about, I decided to play dumb to see what he’d say, “and do what?” I asked, happy he couldn’t see my face as I was holding my cheeks to stop myself from laughing as I pictured the look on his face. 

“Don’t play dumb with me darling, it’s rather unbecoming,” he joked. “You know exactly what I’m talking about and the more I think about it the more I think you should definitely wait.” 

Looks like I’ll be waiting then. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LOTS OF LAUGHTER**

‘Come on darling, pick up.’ Don’t mind me talking to myself. I’ve been trying to call home for the last 90 minutes and there’s no answer to her phone or the land line. She’s not responding to text messages either and none of her social media accounts have been active since last night. I’m sure there’s a completely logical explanation but, I have to be honest, I am a little worried. If she’s busy I know she won’t answer the phone, but it’s not like her to not respond to a text message at the very least. I’ve no idea whether she needs anything before I get home, whether I should just head home or what the hell to do. I spoke to her sister and know that she picked the dogs up, and as far as Nat knows she was going home. I might just try again - still no answer. 

… 

Why the hell is this gate so damn slow? Come on already. Finally. Ok, so her car’s still here which means she should be here. It’s deathly quiet; usually I can hear music, but there’s nothing. Walking through the door I found the place looked deserted, no lights, no tv, no music and no dogs. Her keys, phone and wallet were all the bench. Maybe she’s taken the dogs for a walk? No, she’d need keys. What the hell’s going on? 

“Darling? Are you here?” I called out. 

Nothing. It wasn’t quite dark outside but it was dark enough that I needed to turn the lights on before I went to our bedroom. Not in here, although her shoes are. 

‘What was that?’ I heard a noise. Standing still and listening, I heard it again. Sounded like scratching. Walking out of our room, I heard it again. Following the sound, I ended up outside the office. Opening the door, I found Bobby and Paddy sniffing at the door and my darling wife totally engrossed in whatever the hell it was she was doing. 

Looking up in surprise, she smiled, “Hey babe, what are you doing home so ea...oh bugger,” she’d just looked out the window and found it was almost dark. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise it was that late. Why didn’t you call me and tell me you were on your way home? I haven’t started dinner or anything.” 

She stood and came over to me for a kiss and to hug me. 

“Darling I've been trying to call you for a couple of hours, and I’ve been texting you. Your phone’s out on the kitchen bench. Why on earth is the door shut?” I asked. 

“Two hours? Wow, I really did lose track of time,” she chuckled. “Were you worried? I imagine you would have been, and I think they may have pushed it when they were playing,” she said pointing to the dogs. 

“Actually, no. Well, maybe a little bit,” I answered. “What are you doing that you completely lost track of time?” I asked. 

Instead of answering she beckoned me over to the desk and pointed to the laptop, cheeky grin on her face. 

Laughing, I hugged her close, “Ok, I can understand why now. Wow, so this is what you’re looking at stocking?” 

I swear she had about 50 browser windows open, - yes, it is a slight exaggeration - maybe 20, filled with bras, panties, corsets, men's lingerie...did you know there was such a thing? Can’t see myself wearing a lot of it but some of it looks - wearable. Just can’t picture myself in pink lace, and there’s matching lace crop tops too...for men! Looking at all of that makes me realise, I don’t think I’m quite ready to ditch the Calvin’s just yet. 

“You’re not expecting me to wear all of that are you?” I asked pointing to some of the more, shall we say uncomfortable, looking items. 

Roaring with laughter, she pointed to some of the pouches, “I don’t...think...oh, I’m sorry babe, I just had a mental image of you...” 

She couldn’t stop laughing and was now laughing so hard she had tears rolling down her face and was hanging on to the desk for support with one hand and squeezing her cheeks with the other. 

“...oh God it hurts,” she said still laughing, “I’m sorry babe, but I just had this mental image of you trying to get a pouch on and....” 

And she’s off again, laughing so much she’s actually slid down and is now sitting on the floor. Looking down at her, I couldn’t help but laugh with her. You know when someone’s laughing so hard, big belly laugh hard, and you end up laughing because they’re laughing? That was us. Both of us ended up on the floor with Bobby and Paddy running from one to the other, jumping on us with excitement while we sat laughing. In hindsight I think it was a massive release of all the crap we’d gone through over the weekend and it was just a chance for us to let it all out. It was funny, but it wasn’t _that_ funny, yet we continued to laugh, setting each other off again for a good 3 minutes. 

Finally, getting herself under control, she stood, still with a silly grin on her face and went to turn the laptop off but turned her head away and said, “you do it because if I look at it, I’ll end up back on the floor.” 

Leaving the office, we went to the kitchen where she picked her phone up and looked at all the missed calls and text messages, “Oops. Sorry babe, I didn’t mean to worry you. I just got so caught up I lost track of time. I’ll start dinner if you want to go take a shower.” 

“You don’t mind doing dinner?” I asked. “I don’t mind doing it if you want.” 

“Go. Have your shower, you’ve been working all day and I’ve been perving at undies. This won’t take long. Are you ok? Did you hurt your shoulder?” she asked. 

“Just a bit tight. I might get you to give it a rub after dinner if you don’t mind. I won’t be long in there,” I said pointing up the hallway. 

The shower felt wonderful on my back and shoulder. Thank God I didn’t have to go in until later tomorrow. I forgot all about that with that fit of laughter. I still haven’t told her about the solicitor or anything. Her own fault; if her mind didn’t go places it shouldn’t, she’d already know. Turning the shower off, I grabbed a towel and was drying off when the smell of dinner drifted in. My stomach reminded me it had been a while since I’d eaten so I quickly threw a pair of sleep pants on and headed to the kitchen. 

“Great timing,” she said. “Take a seat.” 

She brought the plates over to the table where we sat down at the table together to eat, and I remembered to tell her I didn’t have to go in until late. 

“I’m going to be late tomorrow. We’re doing a dusk shoot so I’ll start late and finish late. I meant to tell you when I got home but your mind took you other places,” I said smiling as I remembered how good it was to see her laughing unabashedly, it seemed too long since she’d really let loose like that. 

“So, does that mean we can go see Savannah in the morning?” she asked excitedly. I swear she’s like a three year old with a belly full of red cordial she’s so hyped about this shop. 

“We can, but...” 

She started to laugh again, “...but you can’t send Savannah home that early in the morning.” 

“I fail to see what’s so funny,” I told her indignantly. 

She was gone again, laughing hard. 

“You’re tired,” I told her laughing along with her. 

“How do you know?” she managed to say, slowly settling again. 

“Because you always get the giggles when you’re tired and find the most absurd things hysterically funny,” I said softly, happy to see her so happy. “Would you like me to tell you what the solicitor said?” 

“Only if it’s good, I don’t want my good mood ruined,” she replied. 

“The woman that owns the shop has basically said if we’re willing to cover expenses for however long it is before the cooling off period officially finishes, she’s happy for you to start doing whatever you want, when you want. So, in effect, we pay her the average shop takings for however long it takes and you can do what you want with it,” I told her. 

“Please tell me you agreed,” she said looking at me expectantly. “I’d hate to have to come and hurt you.” 

“Of course I ag...” was all I got out. She leapt out of the chair and landed half in my lap and half on the table. 

“Owww, damn, that hurt,” she said, rubbing her hip while trying to wrap herself around me raining little fairy kisses from forehead to chin and cheek to cheek. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

Laughing, I held her against me. “You’re welcome my love but if you’d like to hop up, I’ll help you clean this up then you can thank me properly.” 

She gave me a suggestive look and grinned, “Oh and how would that be? Like I don’t know.” 

Getting up from the table and going to help her clean up in the kitchen, I couldn’t help myself, I had to burst her bubble, “You can give me a massage,” I said, dodging the tea towel she threw at my head. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**HURRY UP HIDDLESTON**

Poor Tom, I felt so guilty that I’d let time get away from me the way I had. He didn’t seem to mind at all though once he’d assured himself that I was ok. I can't believe I was stupid enough to leave my phone out of earshot, especially after the anxiety episode on the weekend.  Never mind , everything turned out the way it should. 

“ Oh, that feels wonderful,” he said as I massaged his back and shoulders paying  particular attention to his deltoids and trapezius. “Pulled up a little tender after today. See, this is why we need you love, to hopefully avoid the muscle strain.”

“It’s not too bad,” I told him. “You should be fine tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, what time do you have to be at work?”

“Not until around noon but I probably won’t finish up until around 9. Don’t worry about dinner for me, I’ll eat there. The caterers will have something that will tide me over,” he said.

“I’ll make something and just put it aside for you. I prefer doing it, that way I know you’ve had something decent,” I told him.

“Don’t go to any trouble love. We’ve both got an early start the day after, so I don’t want you messing around too late.” 

“I don’t mind. I have to make something for me anyway so it’s no effort to put some aside. There, how’s that feeling?” I asked.

Rotating his shoulder around and giving a few shoulder shrugs, he nodded, “Feels good. Thanks love, I appreciate it. What do you want to do tonight?”

“I don’t really know to be honest. I’d be happy to read and put some music on but if you’d rather watch tv I’m ok with that,” I answered. 

“I might just watch some tv if that’s ok with you. Come, put your head in my lap while you read,” he said pulling me over to the couch with him.

We spent the next couple of hours with him watching  tv and me alternating between reading, glancing at the tv and asking questions until he put his hand over my mouth. “If you’re going to ask so many questions why don’t you just watch it?” he asked.

“Because I'm reading,” I replied, holding the book up and looking at him as if he was mad. 

“You’ve watched more than you’ve read,” he said. “What are you reading anyway?”

“It’s an old book I’ve been meaning to read for ages but never got around to,” I answered, turning the cover so he could see it. 

Taking the book from me, finger on the page so he didn’t lose my place, he looked at the cover, “Portent. I think I’ve read  this,“ he said turning to the back of the book and reading the blurb. 

“You probably have, it’s been in the bookshelf for years ,” I said . “But it’s really interesting, I feel like I’m ready a book on prophecies.”

“Is that the one that mentions the ring of fire around Sydney and the light before each disaster?” he asked. 

“That’s it,” I answered. “Good book, but  kinda freaky given all the natural disasters that have happened since he wrote this book. I think I'm going to go take a shower then go to bed babe. I’m getting tired.”

“I’ll be in shortly,” he said. “I’ll just see to the dogs and lock up.”

Having a quick shower, I dried off and found Tom already in bed, laying reading. 

“I brought your book in just in case you wanted to read for a while,” he told me.

“I’m just going to go to sleep,” I said snuggling up beside him. 

Leaning down he kissed me, “Goodnight my darling. I love you, sleep well,” then lay his hand on my hip.

“Goodnight babe. I love you too, sweet dreams.”

…

Up early the next morning, Tom went for a quick run while I went for a walk. We arrived back home within a couple of minutes of each other, me being last home. First one home has to put the coffee on, needless to say he’s always going to (be allowed to) win because he makes better coffee than I do...don’t tell him I said that, I’ll never hear the end of it. We both had a shower, then I had my customary 2 cups of coffee while he had porridge and 1 coffee. Trying my best to be patient, I waited for him to finish his porridge, checked the time and saw it was 8.45 am. 

“Can we go now?” I asked. “By the time we get there she’ll have opened up.”

Turning to look at me, he rolled his eyes, “I was going to leave it until a bit later, that way when we’re done talking to Savannah, I can just head straight to work.” 

“Like hell I’m waiting that long,” I stormed. “Get your ass ready now or I’m going without you.”

Bursting out laughing, he got up and walked past me giving me a playful swat on the backside as he went by. “Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be with you.”

“You’ve got 5 minutes,” I told him, holding my watch up, “Timer’s on.”

“Won’t need 5,” he called over his shoulder.

4 minutes and 37 seconds later, he was standing beside me ready to go. "Told you I wouldn’t need 5 minutes,” he said as we went to the door.

“God you smell good. Are we taking both cars, or will you bring me back home before you go in?” I asked.

“Thank you and I’ll drop you home then head over to the studio. I was thinking too, maybe you could ask Savannah to come over one day or night, even tonight if you want, so you can go over all your ideas with her, find out what she’s got to say about everything – if she’ll  stay on of course,” he said.

“Great idea babe. I really hope she agrees to stay on with us, I’ll be lost without her. Now, can we please go?” I asked.

“You’re like a kid on Christmas morning. Ok, let’s go.”

…

We walked into the store together and Savannah looked up as she heard the door. I had a silent chuckle when she saw Tom and blushed as her eyes flicked towards the change rooms. Poor girl, she still hadn’t really got over it. I hoped they’d be able to move past it – well Savannah anyway – Tom had no problems with her.

“Missy,  Mr Hiddleston. Sorry, Tom,” she corrected. “I’m so glad you came by; it gives me the chance to say goodbye. I’ve been hoping I’d see you. The shop’s been sold,” she said, genuinely sad. “I’m a little unsure exactly when they new owners take over but apparently it won’t be too long.”

“You won’t be staying on?” I asked.

“I don’t know if that will be an option,” she said.

“If it was, would you stay?” Tom asked, silly ass grin on his face.

“Oh  definitely ,” she answered. “I know it probably seems silly as it’s ‘only’ lingerie but, I love my job and this shop. I’m really going to miss it,” she said as she sniffed.

“You don’t need to miss it,” Tom told her. “Savannah, meet your new boss,” Tom said pointing to me.


	50. Author's Note

Hello lovely readers.

I just wanted to say thank you for all the support this story has received. It still surprises me that people enjoy it. This story started out as 'A Day in the Life Of' and was originally meant to be a 24 hour piece. People seemed to enjoy it and I was encouraged to write more. The premise was that I would choose a photo of Tom each day and just write a vignette about 'my virtual relationship' with him. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would grow into the monster it has become. What was originally a 24 hour piece is now getting ready to enter it's 5th month of daily updates that have gone from approximately 75 words to almost 1500 words every day. 49 Chapters each containing a minimum of 2 days worth of story plus the Wedding and Adult Stories. In excess of 285 000 words, over 100 000 of them in this alone.

Due to the fact that it has grown as large as it has, and given that the characters are entering a new phase in their lives, I've decided to end this file here. The story will continue on and we'll pick up exactly where we left off but it will be in a new file. It just makes it easier for me to manage, and easier for you to read rather than having to scroll so far down in the drop down chapter guide. I'm still undecided on whether to start a new adult file as well, probably will as it would make sense to start fresh with everything. I'm going to try to remember to write a note so that you know which adult story fits in with which daily story.

Once again, thank you so much for your support, encouragement and lovely feedback. Nothing will change other than the fact that we'll be using a new file.

Sharon.


End file.
